January 13, At first, they exclusively had sex together, but that eventually changed when Ana started living with them. To hear her tell it, her life with this couple was ripped out of the pages of a Penthouse letter to the editor. In this instance, Ana was basically a live-in unicorn, a third party usually a woman whom the couple invites into their bed for a brief period of time. While her living arrangement was somewhat unorthodox, she had been a unicorn a number of times before, starting when she was an undergrad in college.
Threesomes are among the most common fantasies for couples, with an estimated 82 percent of men and 31 percent of women reporting having fantasized about a menage a trois in a Archives of Sexual Behavior study. By the findings of the same survey, only 24 percent of the men and 8 percent of the women have ever actually participated in one. She said being approached in itself was a major turn-on, in part because of how flattering she found it to have two people in a relationship want to have sex with her.
There are, however, a few drawbacks to being a unicorn: So I get it. Emotionally speaking, that can be the exact appeal of being a unicorn: That said, even if the threesome is a no-strings-attached situation totally devoid of any emotional investment, it can be awkward for unicorns if things get messy between the two halves of the couple.
Tina, for instance, once had a threesome with a married bisexual woman and her husband. If one partner starts failing mentally and energetically, it is the most awkward situation in the whole entire world. Apr 20, Kit Goode rated it really liked it Shelves: I think I can set the tone of this book for you fairly well by explaining that a lot of Vantoch's problem solving can be summed up with 'put your hand down your pants'. This book wasn't really aimed at me: I'm pretty comfortable with multiple relationships, but after accidentally blundering into a monogamous relationship you know how that goes I'd been recced it as a way of casually opening up a dialogue between me and the SO and the possibilities of different kinds of relationships.
I can't s I think I can set the tone of this book for you fairly well by explaining that a lot of Vantoch's problem solving can be summed up with 'put your hand down your pants'. I can't say I was completely sold; I am fairly certain that any member of the Collins-Vantoch family could vom on a hanky and my friend would recommend it, but I've never been one to shy away from a sexy book about sex, so I gave it a go.
I was surprised, relieved and grateful that I did. There wasn't much new information for me, but it definitely gave me ways of approaching the poly issue with non-poly partners in the future in a way that let me be fun without being flippant. It's such a chill book, that is the only way I can think to describe it. It's unpatronising and a bit sassy, telling you when it's all right to stick to your boundaries always and when it's worth considering pushing them a little - if you've read the Ethical Slut then you know where this book is at.
Vicki Vantoch, despite the title, discusses fairly indepth the various types of relationships that can be formed with multiple partners something I had been concerned about pre-reading as well as pointing out that the whole beauty of non-conventional relationships is that you get to make your own decision on how you and your partners work best and make your own template. The language can be twee to the point of teeth grinding at times but it's made up for peppering of the word schtooping, which is my new favourite word.
There are also a couple of out of date links for websites, but that can hardly be held against a 5 year old book. Think about threesomes, then stick your hand in your undercrackers. Can't say much more then that.
‘I got involved in threesomes, foursomes and moresomes' - Ireland's underground sex scene exposed
I love nonfiction books about sexuality in general, and I wanted to read this one specifically because I thought it might be good research for future short stories and novel scenes. I started reading this book ages ago, but I kept putting it away when guests came over and then getting distracted by other books. That's not to say that it's uninteresting or boring - far from it. Granted, I did skip a few passages that di I love nonfiction books about sexuality in general, and I wanted to read this one specifically because I thought it might be good research for future short stories and novel scenes.
Granted, I did skip a few passages that didn't apply to me, but overall, I enjoyed this very much.
Editors Choice
It's really more 4. Vicki Vantoch is the kind of smart girl who makes me want to do stupid things. I laughed out loud several times throughout the book, just like I do with Lemony Snicket things. She has one of the best jobs I could imagine: In physical appearance, she reminds me of the singer Sara Bareilles. Funny, smart, cute, openly bisexual — Vicki Vantoch is my kind of writer. We do this in various ways—by hiding hearing aids or changing ethnic-sounding names to commercially viable ones.
Which, I suppose, is not quite as Russian-sounding, even though Misha is still the traditional Russian nickname for Dimitri. Vantoch is candid about her own three-way relationship with her husband and her female best friend, but Collins is more guarded. His patience, humor, openness to change, and super-human ability to love me without crushing me, continues to amaze me. I feel enormously lucky to be sharing this journey with him. It encourages people who consider themselves straight to be open to a range of experiences that might be pleasurable even if a bit outside their usual comfort zone, without obsessing about labels.
Human beings seem to have an innate tendency to want everything neatly categorized, but our sexuality is much too fluid and varied for that. Whether they read it for research, for practical tips, or simply out of curiosity, readers who are brave enough to pick this one up will be rewarded.
I purchased this book with my own funds and was not obligated in any way to review it. Jun 06, Courtney Golden rated it liked it.
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Lei e Misha sono una coppia fortissima, che ammiro: Accompagna il lettore per tutto il processo: L'ho trovato eccitante e ispirante. In effetti mi ha portato a trattare l'argomento in ben due diverse storie su cui sto lavorando. Sep 24, Ashley Wallis rated it really liked it. Victoria Vantoch is amazing, and although the forthrightness of her words even had me blushing, The Threesome Handbook has really great information on subjects extending past adding a third and into relationships as a whole with a strong emphasis on the importance of communication, self awareness, and trust Resources and checklists provided throughout give the reader a real worldview of the possibilities available to them.
Vantoch did a Victoria Vantoch is amazing, and although the forthrightness of her words even had me blushing, The Threesome Handbook has really great information on subjects extending past adding a third and into relationships as a whole with a strong emphasis on the importance of communication, self awareness, and trust Vantoch did an amazing job de-stigmatizing poly relationships and redefining what should be classed as social norms, as well as challenging heteronormativity. I only wish this voice was one we heard more often.
Ballsy, straightforward, smart, and written almost as a conversation between you and someone who knows better, The Threesome Handbook is something you should most definitely read - even if you're not looking for a third, but just want a way to understand your and your partner's wants and desires in a relationship and in the bedroom.
This book is full of good advice for twosomes, threesomes, and more than that. I found that many of the tips for managing and balancing a threesome were just as applicable to maintaining a two-person relationship. I wish there had been something on non-sexual threesome relationships, or partially-sexual. As an asexual person, I prefer relationships that don't require sex.
Maybe none of her interviewees had asexual partners. I get it's about getting laid; I'm still disappointed. Although the writi This book is full of good advice for twosomes, threesomes, and more than that.
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Although the writing was entertaining and engaging, it wasn't quite what I'm used to for non-fiction yes, I'm an academic type. I got quite a few laughs from the stories. I don't like the term "schtooping" but I got used to it. Overall, the rhythm of the text is choppy and lends itself to reading a bit before bed each night, and I can't think of a better place to read this book.
Mar 28, Kitt rated it liked it Shelves: I mean I'm rating it as having been liked, and on the whole it was fine and readable and interesting, but in places a little too matey matey, nudge wink for me. Having said that though I did manage to zip through it fairly quickly - I had been recommended 'The Ethical Slut', and time and again I find it turgid and unreadble I have tried a number of times , so at least this engages interest. The advice is a little general and common sensey, but Vantoch does seem to have a passion for th Ok book.
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The advice is a little general and common sensey, but Vantoch does seem to have a passion for the subject and it raises some interesting questions. Sep 05, Brandy Shark rated it really liked it Shelves: Vicki Vantoch is such a wonderful writer; she weaves humor and facts into this very interesting book. She uses research as well as personal tales into explaining and helping define the best ways to have a threesome, or build a loving, threesome relationship.
Absolutely a fun read, and informative. If Vicki ever writes another book, on any subject, I will gladly and eagerly go out and buy it. May 05, EroticaAfterDark Lilith rated it really liked it. Sep 09, Alexis Wilder rated it it was amazing. Author and sexual historian Vicki Vantoch weaves interviews, research, and personal experience together in her guide to threesome sex and triad relationships.
As well as highlighting the positives of such unions: This personal section shows her to be a thoughtful and extremely curious woman that anyone reading would want to befriend. It ends with a warning that the advice she has given might turn your life upside down, which only heightens the anticipation for the fun ahead. The fact that she is coming from a place of experience lends her loads of credibility.
These anecdotes make it clear that she is not alone in her advocacy for ethical polyamory.
This is why you haven’t had a threesome yet
Also, they round out the topic by sharing specific details about what goes on behind their own closed doors, unshrouding the mystery so often forced onto these human experiences. Much of the advice found in this handbook can be boiled down to the essential element present in all good relationships: In every chapter, it is repeated and rephrased that honest and open communication is the only way in which these events can resolve into happy endings. Many examples of poor versus good communications skills are played out to hammer the point home and emphasize its importance.
Still, she acknowledges that people unused to expressing their emotions fully will have trouble with this aspect of her advice, and that perhaps threeways are just not for them. The research compiled and utilized to support the choice of this path is wide in scope and helps reflect a nuanced approach to broadening erotic horizons. The book gets repetitive at times, especially concerning safe sex practices. Vantoch covers a lot of sexual and emotional ground, and though there are more than a few titillating passages Did I mention the diagrams and that at least one of her threesome partners is a huge television and social media star?
When I heard that Misha Collins's wife literally wrote the handbook on threesomes, I had to check it out for pure curiosity and fangirl's sake. I'm a polyamorist at heart despite being in a monogamous marriage, so perhaps this is preaching to the choir in my case. I liked the book. She covers ideas like introducing When I heard that Misha Collins's wife literally wrote the handbook on threesomes, I had to check it out for pure curiosity and fangirl's sake.
She covers ideas like introducing the idea to one's partner, dating strategies, communication techniques, self-awareness, safer sex, deepening relationships and how to manage those not just sex! The book is very thorough. It has a friendly, conversational vibe, though she does get a bit twee for my tastes.
There are also quite a few typos that really should have been caught on edit, but otherwise it's a really great resource and interesting read. Oct 05, Elizabeth rated it liked it Shelves: This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers.
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To view it, click here. Communication Activities and Resources Appendix B: Aug 15, Nae rated it it was amazing. This was a very informative but laid back type of book. I was pleased to see there was a whole section dedicated to keeping yourself and your partners sexually safe. And there were so many, many, MANY sections about how to handle your emotions and communication. Because that is vital to these types of relationships! I laughed out loud a lot during the book because there was tid bits of humor stuck in randomly.