It Never Rains in Italy

Yet to hear the city's overly tanned weathermen working themselves up into a frenzy over the last few days, you could be forgiven for thinking we were on the brink of an apocalypse. Struggling to contain themselves as they conjured up portentous satellite images of storm clouds preparing to wreak havoc, the warnings became increasingly dire. And if you do have to go out, for goodness' sake take something with you to fend off those locusts and frogs.

The cause of all this excitement? Rain - rain which would bring with it hailstones the size of grapefruit and winds fierce enough to reconfigure a Beverly Hills facelift. Up to six inches mm were forecast in some places and, as well as thunder and lightning, God forbid that the temperature would fall below 60F 15C - or, as it is known locally, the limit of human endurance.

To me, six inches of rain is really only a concern if you happen to be less than six inches tall. Otherwise there is a pretty good chance you will survive. But it is a problem here not only because of what people are used to, but because of where they have chosen to live. Wisdom has it there are indeed four seasons in Los Angeles - fires, floods, mudslides and earthquakes. A bone-dry summer paves the way for so-called Santa Ana winds - malevolent gusts which carry with them a dry heat from the desert.

It does so every year - regular as clockwork - but, for reasons known best to themselves, that does not deter people from building in wooded canyons or on the edge of steep hillsides. Those that survive fires fanned by the blow-torch winds have only to wait until the rain arrives and, before they know it, they are on their way to Mexico on the back of a sudden mudslide. It comes down to the fact that people here simply do not understand rain the way British people do. It is little wonder that a city which sees days of sunshine virtually grinds to a halt the moment the heavens open.

Drivers put on their headlights and slow to a crawl, tempers rise. Interrupting a perfectly blissful summer's day is one thing, but these clouds had the temerity to intrude on paradise. I woke up the day after the "big one" - our fourth big storm in a week - and was relieved to find my house was on the same street it was on when I went to bed. Sign in with Facebook Other Sign in options.

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Hammond grew up in Gibraltar and learned how to fluently speak both English and Spanish. Albert sang in the church as a kid and was a choir boy. In Hammond and his May 18 , in London, England, UK. Filmography by Job Trailers and Videos. Interactive Entertainment, Activision and Koei Tecmo. Do you have a demo reel? Add it to your IMDbPage. How Much Have You Seen? How much of Albert Hammond's work have you seen?

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Don't have a Kindle? C K Publishing 12 Jun. Synopsis After years spent shivering under dripping canvas in campsites North of the Alps, David made himself a promise that his next holiday would be spent in the sun. Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review.

Showing of 9 reviews. Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. This splendidly observed book gives a real flavour of Italy. Highly amusing - I had to stop reading it on my morning train journey to work as my snorts of laughter were waking the other passengers.

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Hard to believe this is a first book - hopefully the first of many! France is our usual holiday destination but David's anecdotes have given us the needed push to head over the border this year. If you are looking for ideal holiday reading this is for you.

One person found this helpful. Reading this book is the perfect way to escape the cold and rain of a winter weekend in Britain and travel across Europe with David Critchley as he paints word pictures of the surrounding countryside and fellow travellers. An observational wit relieves the monotony of the journey and we share his anticipation of delights to come as he claims his territory on the camp site bordering Lake Garda.

The days unfold with humour, food and drink; the chapters highlighting many visitor attractions and the joys of meeting new people of many nationalities.

Just as you think that the variety will dim you are transported to the cool of the mountains and the luxury of living as a house guest within four brick walls, before travelling to Milan and the final journey home. I read this book in the depths of a soggy Mancunian winter, where the average colour of the sky lies somewhere between depressing and dismal.