Every interfaith family and every religious leader who works with interfaith families should read Being Both. In Being Both , Susan Katz Miller brings us into the emergent world of interfaith families, families who seek to blend traditions that others find mutually exclusive. Whatever your thoughts on religion and interfaith marriage, this book will help you think more clearly. And if you are in an interfaith marriage yourself, it may help you live more courageously. People are marrying others from different religions— and they are celebrating the two traditions!

Susan Katz Miller writes with the passion of experience and with the integrity of being authentic. Its insights moved me deeply. See all Editorial Reviews. Product details File Size: Beacon Press October 22, Publication Date: October 22, Sold by: Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention katz miller interfaith families susan katz interfaith family interfaith marriage raising children embracing two religions religious education raise their children interfaith marriages jewish and christian young adults years ago well written christians and jews jewish father well worth interfaith couples embrace two religions religions in one interfaith.


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    • Please try again later. Everyone in an mixed relationship should read This is a great book. Everyone in an mixed relationship should read it. Or better yet, everyone should read it. It is amazing how it portrays the natural course of the future of relationships not only in America, but in the world that's me extrapolating, by the way, but it's true.

    In a global era we can't expect for things to be the same and to just be involved with people the same as we are. This book sheds some light over the way these relationships work and the many ways people have to make it work for them. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. Engaging and informative for those families who would choose to raise their children with knowledge of more than one religion and tradition. This is a story about faith and belief and move beyond the boundaries of one particular tradition so that children and adults are aware of the sacred through two sets of eyes--and engagement.

    Most families are learning about Judaism and Christianity--but there are examples of other combinations as well. One person found this helpful. Being Both is an insightful, thought provoking book showing how interfaith families, after decades of being told no you can't, are demonstrating that yes, they absolutely can raise children dual-faith and do so in a way that is not at all detrimental.

    Susan Katz Miller's primary research, including surveys and extensive interviews of couples, children, young adults, and clergy, as well as sharing her own personal interfaith experiences result in rich, moving story. As a spouse in an interfaith marriage raising dual-faith children, it was inspiring and comforting to read about others who are trying similar approaches and to know that obstacles can be overcome. I hope that interfaith couples and families as well as their extended families and clergy will read this beautifully written book to enrich their understanding of interfaith relationships and expand their perspectives on what is possible.

    Not as story based as I'd hoped. Not enough stories about non Jewish families. This is an excellent book. Well written, well edited and best of all, not apologetic at all! I was so glad to read a book that is so clearly enthusiastic about the experience of raising children in more than one faith. I found myself saying "amen" silently, in my head, since I was on the plane almost every page!

    I really hope that this book gets widely read and distributed. It has helped me feel more comfortable with practicing Jewish ritual in the home and has been a good introduction for encouraging me to learn more about both of our faiths. I am sure this is a book we will be reading and going back to over the years as it's such a wonderful and inspiring resource. Jul 08, Margaret Klein rated it really liked it Shelves: This book challenges me to think further outside the box.

    I was one of those rabbis who was always told families should pick one religion or it will confuse the children. This book argues cogently maybe not. I serve an independent congregation with a high percentage of interfaith families depending on how you define interfaith. Some married a non-Jew where some converted. Some did not convert. Some have grandchildren in an interfaith family. Some have grandparents in an interfaith family. We aim This book challenges me to think further outside the box. We aim to create a safe, non-judgmental space where all are welcome and we think deeply about all of these issues.

    We now have family memberships so that both partners are voting members and can serve on the board. We have an interfaith section of our cemetery. We have children enrolled in our Hebrew School where only one parent is Jewish. We are proud partners with InterfaithFamily. In fact, that is where this book was introduced to me. There is a beauty in what Susan Katz Miller has created and reported on. I am not sure my congregation will be willing to go the whole way with her--but the discussions will be important. It is clear she is pushing the envelope, even beyond what Reform Judaism did with its ruling on patrilineal descent.

    It is ironic that I read this book during a time period that included more debate about conversion in Israel and who is a Jew, more announcements from congregations like Bnai Jeshurun in New York that decided its clergy will perform interfaith weddings. What this book does not do, nor does InterfaithFamily is to deal with the real trailblazers. Since beginning this book, I buried the Jewish partner of an interfaith family that had been married for 56 years.

    I blessed an interfaith couple on their 50th anniversary. When they got married they could not do so in either a church or synagogue. Nov 12, J. Trent rated it it was amazing. I highly recommend this book for all partners seeking to bridge multiple religious, spiritual, or moral frameworks within one family. Being Both includes an extensive list of resources as well as an index, making it an essential guidebook. Being Both explores the grassroots movement of interfaith communities and assesses the myths and benefits of raising children I highly recommend this book for all partners seeking to bridge multiple religious, spiritual, or moral frameworks within one family.

    Being Both explores the grassroots movement of interfaith communities and assesses the myths and benefits of raising children in two religions. From testimonials of parents to children and clergy who "attest to the inspiring nature of working with interfaith families," Katz Miller has done her due diligence in exploring the interfaith family movement from all angles. After a thoughtful reading, I think most will agree that exploring the "being both" option far outweighs the historical anxieties that families of previous generations faced in making the hard-and-fast decision of choosing one religion over another.

    Susan Katz Miller | Interfaith families

    Mar 12, Molly rated it really liked it. Non-fiction book about raising children and creating interfaith families. May 20, Ashley rated it really liked it Shelves: A great primer for interfaith couples making their way through building a holistic and authentic life together and all the decisions that come with it. I've researched a lot of literature on the subject, and unfortunately most are biased towards convincing you to re-think marriage to a partner of a different religion, or at least choose raising your child in one religion over the other.

    This book is refreshing because it affirms that yes you can figure this out and be true to both of yourselves A great primer for interfaith couples making their way through building a holistic and authentic life together and all the decisions that come with it.

    Sadly the various rites within other religions are not covered, but there is a chapter dedicated to interfaith couples within different religions. This book is also very unique because the author has helped to form an interfaith community and children's religious ed program in the DC area. Dec 19, Carolyn Fitzpatrick rated it liked it Shelves: The majority of the book consists of anecdotes about various Jewish and Christian blended families, and how their choice of religion works for them.

    The first chapter is very interesting as this is the story of the author's own family, and there is one other chapter that deals with interfaith families that are now Jewish and Christian.

    The main message of the book is that when two spouses come from different religious traditions, learning about both backgrounds actually helps children develop st The majority of the book consists of anecdotes about various Jewish and Christian blended families, and how their choice of religion works for them. The main message of the book is that when two spouses come from different religious traditions, learning about both backgrounds actually helps children develop stronger faith.

    The author admits that this only works if both spouses come from a progressive religious background, that does not believe that a person goes to hell if they do not follow the "correct" religion, with utter devotion to every tenet and practice. I will admit that I did not get more than a third of the way through the book because I got tired of hearing about just Jews and Christians all the time. But in the parts that I read I did not encounter any stories about people who were not able to make interfaith religion work for their family, and hypotheses about why it didn't work out for them.

    Or when happens when one spouse is very religious and the other is casual about their religion, or agnostic. In short, I was expecting more of a do's and don't's for various scenarios and situations, rather than just the positive stories resulting from one particular religious mix. Oct 07, Josiah rated it liked it Shelves: It is possible to have a healthy interfaith relationship, and raise your children as interfaith as well. Just as a child comes from and is attached to both parents, a child can be influenced by and adhere to two or more religions at the same time.

    Susan Katz Miller - herself a child, wife, and mother in interfaith relationships - tackles with sensitivity and facts the taboo subject of whether it's possible for people from differen Plot: Susan Katz Miller - herself a child, wife, and mother in interfaith relationships - tackles with sensitivity and facts the taboo subject of whether it's possible for people from different faiths to successfully marry and raise children in both faiths.

    Although the book is full of studies, interviews and surveys, Katz Miller writes with an engaging style. Anecdotes by interfaith children are sprinkled throughout the book to give a first-person perspective of this uncomfortable topic. I highly recommend this book! This copy received for free thanks to Goodreads First Reads program, which in no way affected this review. Mar 23, Fshell rated it it was amazing.

    Being Both is an insightful, thought provoking book showing how interfaith families, after decades of being told no you can't, are demonstrating that yes, they absolutely can raise children dual-faith and do so in a way that is not at all detrimental. Susan Katz Miller's primary research, including surveys and extensive interviews of couples, children, young adults, and clergy, as well as sharing her own personal interfaith experiences result in rich, moving story.

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    As a spouse in an interfaith m Being Both is an insightful, thought provoking book showing how interfaith families, after decades of being told no you can't, are demonstrating that yes, they absolutely can raise children dual-faith and do so in a way that is not at all detrimental. As a spouse in an interfaith marriage raising dual-faith children, it was inspiring and comforting to read about others who are trying similar approaches and to know that obstacles can be overcome.

    I hope that interfaith couples and families as well as their extended families and clergy will read this beautifully written book to enrich their understanding of interfaith relationships and expand their perspectives on what is possible. Oct 07, Lauren rated it liked it Shelves: This was a very fascinating to read and so glad I got it from a Goodreads giveaway.

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    From then on I always found it interesting and wondered how difficult it was for a child as well as the parents involved. Susan provided a great insight into this dynamic. Not only does it describe how the children are feeling, but what the benefits are for them to having both. It This was a very fascinating to read and so glad I got it from a Goodreads giveaway. It also seemed to me, that it could help those who would be entering this new frontier. This would help those answer questions, ideas of how to handle it, and help children understand what they are feeling and experiencing.

    This opened my eyes to a whole new world and the struggles that one will encounter, but ultimately the benefits of having both in the same household.


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    • Review: Being Both - Embracing Two Religions in One Interfaith Family — The Interfaith Observer;

      • I'm glad I read this as I found this a new learning lesson that everyone can learn. Oct 23, Kate H rated it it was amazing. This is an excellent book. Well written, well edited and best of all, not apologetic at all! I was so glad to read a book that is so clearly enthusiastic about the experience of raising children in more than one faith.

      I found myself saying "amen" silently, in my head, since I was on the plane almost every page! From the members, clergy, and teachers of IFFP and similar organizations elsewhere, Miller gathered the stories of how these families successfully raised children who are happily interfaith and intend to raise interfaith children themselves. Miller concludes this fine resource with a look at the next wave of, this time, Christian-Muslim and Christian-Hindu interfaith families. My eighty-eight-year-old father presides over the ritual meal, leading us through the prayers and songs of religious freedom.

      The family at the table includes believers, seekers, and secularists, Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Buddhists, and those who claim interfaith identity. A Jewish nephew who is about to become a bar mitzvah and a Catholic nephew who just received First Communion compete with my interfaith son to find the traditional hidden matzoh. We are a joyous, motley crew, intent on celebrating together. In twenty-first-century America, we live in a kaleidoscope of religious identities: Many of us attend more than one place of worship.

      We change our religions more than once in a lifetime. We may believe in God or not but still seek spiritual experience inside and outside of churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples. And we are marrying across traditional lines of race, ethnicity, gender, and religion. In the midst of this religious flux and flow, interfaith couples are making a new and controversial choice: Americans are leaving behind traditional single-faith identities. Almost a quarter of us attend religious services of more than one faith or denomination, according to a study by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life.

      At the same time, according to Pew researchers, more than one in four American adults change faith affiliation at least once, and that rises to almost half of us if it includes denomination changes for instance, from Lutheran to Methodist. Meanwhile, the proportion of religiously unaffiliated Americans has grown rapidly--to almost 20 percent of the population. And yet, the majority of those 46 million unaffiliated adults believe in God or a universal spirit.

      This seeming paradox--belief in God without religious affiliation--will not come as a surprise to those in interfaith families, many of whom have rich spiritual lives but do not belong to a church or synagogue. My family would be classified as religiously unaffiliated, even though we light Shabbat candles on Fridays, sing Christian hymns in church with extended family, and wrestle with theology as we educate our children in both religions.

      The hunger for community, for belonging, is universal. As human beings who evolved in clans and tribes, we crave social networks. Religious community provides intergenerational bonding, the support of wise clergy, preservation of our shared history and texts, and the comfort of ritual--not to mention the arrival of casseroles in times of trouble. I argue here that it is not necessary to share a single faith in order to share such benefits. In fact, I contend that it is indeed possible to raise children with two religions, and that both couples and children experience the distinct benefits of this choice.

      This book describes a grassroots movement of interfaith families claiming the right to create their own communities beyond a single creed or dogma, bound instead by respect for both Judaism and Christianity and a desire to explore the similarities, differences, and points of historical and theological connection. In these pages, I seek to answer three questions about this movement: Why are intermarried couples choosing two religions for their children despite pressure to choose only one?

      What are the benefits and drawbacks of raising children with both family religions?

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      And how do these children feel, as they enter adulthood, about their interfaith education and complex religious identities Growing up Jewish, I learned that no choice made by parents can eliminate completely either the challenges or the gifts of being born an interfaith child. Each pathway--choosing one religion, choosing two religions, choosing a third religion, choosing no religion--has advantages and disadvantages.

      Books, outreach programs, and couples groups sponsored by religious institutions push, with varying degrees of subtlety, for couples to choose a particular pathway. Here, I acknowledge my own bias as I argue for the legitimacy of the pathway that works for me, my husband, and my children: Clergy often state that children raised with two faiths will be confused. The scant evidence they cite dates from an era when there were no interfaith communities.

      Some of those who claimed they were raising children with both religions were actually raising them with very little religion at all, in part because society disapproves of choosing both. Extended family mourned for the intermarried couple; clergy rejected them. In short, many early attempts to raise children in two religions were doomed by lack of support. A child raised in a community of supportive interfaith families, with clergy from both traditions, has a very different experience from a child raised by parents who are isolated by their interfaith choice.

      My own two teenagers have been loved, challenged, and guided by a rabbi and a minister working as a team. And they have been welcomed at church and synagogue by family on both sides. This book presents preliminary evidence that children raised in interfaith family communities can become sensitive and articulate interfaith spokespeople, drawing strength from two religions.