While it is a fact that these events occurred, is it possible that your interpretation of their cause is skewed to the negative? Begin to approach your endeavors with the awareness that good outcomes are as likely as not. Let your successes serve as proof of this fact, and gradually replace the pessimistic predictions altogether with positive expectations. Practice gratitude - Even during difficult times, there is always something for which to be grateful. You may have been blessed with good health, loving family and friends, talents that allow you to earn a living or that bring you pleasure.
Acknowledge the good in your life. Take Responsibility - The only thing you have total control over in life is yourself. Placing blame is a defense and serves no useful purpose.
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Instead of fault-finding, consider how you might have contributed to the outcome. Use the experience as a learning tool, and take steps to better prepare yourself to respond positively and proactively in the future.
Give others the benefit of the doubt - The most competent people sometimes make mistakes. Look at the facts before passing judgment on others. Trust that it is reasonable to depend on the efficacy of others more often than you thought. Focus on yourself - Expecting the worst becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, look for ways you can improve your performance, gain new skills, and increase your effectiveness in all areas of your life.
Others will begin responding to you in more positive ways as you accentuate the positive in yourself. Seek support - Breaking a habit that has been with you throughout your life will not be easy. Let those you trust know of your effort to change your outlook. Ask them to gently point out negative statements; you may be so accustomed to such thoughts that at first, they fail to catch your attention.
2. If someone else had done this, I would forgive them.
You also may want to consider the guidance of a therapist as you unravel the negative beliefs you have accumulated. Cognitive therapy is an especially effective approach to this task. Tips for Dealing with a Negative Attitude Try these tips for maintaining your balance when dealing with negative people. Put it to good use - Pessimists often see problems before they catch the attention of the rest of us.
Again, ignoring the negative aspersions let him or her provide a synopsis of the problem — along with possible solutions.
Ask the complainer what ideas he has for correcting the situation. Point out the obvious - The negative thinker views events from the perspective of how they affect him. It may not have occurred to him that others have been affected as well.
Explain what you observed and the repercussions that followed. Be compassionate - Accept his feelings as legitimate, even if you disagree with his perspective. Take care of yourself - Everyone has limits. Set boundaries regarding what you will tolerate, and physically remove yourself when necessary. The negative attitude of one individual can have far-reaching effects of the people and situations around him.
A true friend will want to see you succeed and be happy. They bitch about you behind your back An absolute no-no.
- Final Words From the Cross: From the Cross.
- Don’t Let A Negative Attitude Ruin Your Life.
- Don’t Let A Negative Attitude Ruin Your Life!
- Susanna and Sue.
Friendships need to be based on mutual respect and trust. You should feel like they are unconditional and not based on you being or acting in a certain way. They use your secrets against you and share them This is malicious and absolutely nothing a true friend would ever do. They are a bad influence and make you do things that get you into trouble Nip this in the bud before you end up getting yourself into trouble.
They talk about their other friends behind their back If they do this, the chances are, they do it to you too. They bail when you need them the most So there are friends, who are, well… friends and there are friends who are still your friends at 3am on a Wednesday morning in the midst of your breakdown. They exclude you from things with mutual friends This is outright biatchy and indicative of some messed up psychology.
Once you've done what you can, whatever that is, then it's time to declare the mistake officially over, even if you'll have to continue dealing with the consequences for a while. Time to look to the next thing. This is the first thing I say to myself when I realize that I've screwed up, and it always makes me feel better.
Because-- of course-- whatever I did wrong won't be the worst mistake I ever make. Probably not even in the top ten. I'm going to goof things up a lot, that's a given. Expecting ourselves to be infallible can only get us in trouble, but so many of us, myself included, do exactly that.
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In my case, many years ago, I married a compulsive liar and didn't realize until after the wedding that nothing I thought I knew about him was true. That's setting the bar pretty high for any subsequent mistakes I ever make. But even that mistake didn't ruin my life forever. It took a long time but I built a new life with a second, much happier marriage , and even managed to forgive myself.
If I had it to do over, I wouldn't make that mistake again. And yet, I learned a lot from the experience. And that bad first marriage led indirectly to the life I have now, which I wouldn't trade for anything. What I actually say to myself is: There's always a next time. Next time I'll see that mistake coming and do something to avoid it.