There has always been danger. But the rate of change today makes it different. Things are changing so rapidly that there is very little adjustment time. Think about the technology changes in the last decade. When I tell my children that we did not have computers when I was in school, they look at me as if I was telling them I drove a Model T. Much of what pregnant women hear instills fear.
25 Of The Best Family Movies For Teaching Honesty, Grit, Courage & More - A Fine Parent
They are bombarded with advice, precautions, and warnings: Get plenty of exercise and fresh air but be careful—the pollution is harmful. Of course, the Internet can be a wonderful educational tool, but it is also full of half-truths and misinformation, and readers have no way of knowing what is accurate and what is not. She was not comfortable with some of what she saw. She did not want to take unfamiliar herbs or castor oil.
But one method of inducing labor she saw interested her and it seemed very doable: Deprive your body of fluids long enough and you are likely to start contractions. Fortunately, she decided to just wait it out. Another influence is television, where so-called reality TV shows, full of negative and disturbing images of birth, abound. Fearful women are drawn to these shows like moths to a flame.
They cannot pull themselves away, even when they know the TV shows are making them more anxious. Look at the routine tests that pregnant women have: These are just the basics. Depending on the outcomes of those tests, women end up on a roller coaster of other tests. The emotional result of all this testing is that pregnant women constantly feel like they are dodging bullets. I made it through that one. One way to approach all this testing with the women in your classes is to encourage them to think of screening tests like the metal detectors at the airport.
If it beeps, it does not mean you are carrying a gun, it only means that they need to look further. It is useful to take a deeper look at how excessive fear affects pregnancy and birth.
Continuing Education Module The Courage to Birth
We all know how powerful and complex the mind—body connection is. Our beliefs, what we expect to happen, can and do influence all levels of functioning, both conscious and unconscious. It affects everything from how we breathe to how we carry ourselves. Keep in mind, it is the degree of fear and the impact that the fear has on the person that determines whether it is normal or problematic.
Excessive fear has been associated with all of the following pregnancy complications: Here are the women who seem to me to be at most risk for excessive pregnancy anxiety:. Based on my experience, these are the 10 most common fears of pregnant women in descending order:. Women will go to amazing lengths to feel in control during birth. You may have worked with women like these:. So what can we do to help women muster the courage to birth? How can we make childbirth classes more fear-friendly? How can we help women look in the mirror and see a strong, confident, powerful woman who has the courage to birth?
The first step is to examine your own core beliefs about birth. This requires some soul searching. What are your core beliefs about birth? What do you believe about the necessity for routine interventions? About the need for pain-relieving drugs? Do you, really, in your heart of hearts, believe that birth is normal, natural, and healthy? Your beliefs are going to influence the women you teach. Keep in mind that what you teach and how you teach it will have a big impact on how your students view birth and how they will judge themselves after the birth of their babies.
The classes covered huge amounts of information. Information is good, essential even, but it is usually not enough.
25 Of The Best Family Movies For Teaching Honesty, Grit, Courage & More
Intellectually, I can tell myself that my fear is not entirely rational, but that does not take it away. Emotions must be dealt with on an emotional level. Classes need to be much more than teaching techniques to get through labor. To best help our students build confidence, we have to support and build their belief in their innate ability to birth.
In this way, we will reduce fear, build confidence, and increase courage. Confidence and fear are intimately linked. I think of them almost as opposite ends of a seesaw. When confidence goes up, fear goes down. When fear goes up, confidence goes down. Hope is a key component for building courage. We must give women hope. Many women already feel defeated when they come to us. That is why it is so important for childbirth educators to communicate realistic, genuine optimism.
I like a childbirth instructor who is confident in what she teaches. If you are scared, you want somebody really confident to be helping you. In my work at a health center, I am occasionally called in to work with a patient who is experiencing intense anxiety or panic.
FEAR AND CHILDBIRTH
I learned something along the way that has made me much more successful in helping them. I tell them I am going to be successful. Watch what happens when we start working on it. The second crucial ingredient for increasing confidence is providing options. Women need to know that there are different ways of achieving whatever they want to achieve. Having options gives us a sense of control. We talk a lot about empowerment an overused word these days. Empowerment comes in part from taking responsibility for making your own choices. Options are most successful when women have a hand in creating those options rather than being told what is available.
That is where we can be enormously helpful—helping women develop the strength and courage to make choices that fit them and offering women choices that honor and respect the birthing process. To do that requires that women have faith in themselves and a belief that they deserve decent and supported childbirth. When there is fear, there is often negative self-judgment that accompanies it: We want to help each woman accept whatever it is she is feeling without judgment—hers or yours.
Giving birth requires a thousand acts of bravery, many of which are not apparent on the outside Lerner, One client I worked with was extremely anxious—work was the only thing that was relaxing to her and gave her a sense of control. She was good at her work. Her work made her feel confident. Her plan, which she thought long and hard about, was to bring her computer with her in labor. She thought that by having her laptop with her, maybe even doing a little work between contractions, she could get through it.
But for this woman, it was an impossibility. So she was left with not feeling good about the coping resources she had in place and not really having anything else to substitute. Confidence comes from trusting yourself, trusting your own feelings. I do not build your self-confidence and your self-reliance when I make you question yourself, your decisions, your capabilities, your motives, your competence. Couples sometimes feel so much responsibility for how things are going to go in labor that they feel burdened.
One couple who came to me for counseling told me that their childbirth classes made them more anxious—there was so much to remember. They walked into my office one day, shortly before their due date, in a tizzy. It is the best preparation for birth I can think of. Often, the most helpful and important thing we can do to help somebody with fear is simply be present.
I want women to know: As your teacher, I am a resource for you. I have got lots of information and experience to help you make this a good birth. But you are the ones who have to figure out what you want and need from this experience. I will do everything in my power to help you achieve that. Maybe information is your primary need or maybe it is techniques such as breathing, relaxation, or positioning.
Maybe you have some emotional hurdles to work through. All of this is preparation for birth. Good childbirth education is more than the accumulation of facts. This is how we help women find the courage to birth. So what about the fears? Author Harriet Lerner believes that sometimes the best thing to do with fear is to make peace with it, expect it, accept it, and listen and learn from it.
And once he or she felt safe in your presence, you would talk to him or her about thunder, tell him or her the facts. You would talk about it and, together, you would decide if there was something that needed to be done. When fear is approached this way, rather than denying the feelings, it is more likely to pass. People sometimes think if you provide comfort and reassurance to someone who has what you believe to be an irrational fear, your assurances will reinforce the fear, make it stronger.
But this is not true. When a person is comforted and reassured, he or she does not become more dependent; rather, he or she becomes more secure and confident and ready to do the work that must be done. Just be with her as she holds it. Because a lot of fear is about being alone, about being unheard, having to face whatever has to be faced alone.
You can be alone in a room full of people. When I had surgery recently, after being given the pre-op meds that make you kind of groggy, I suddenly felt like my throat was closing and I began to panic. It is the negative self-judgment that accompanies fear that causes much of the damage: This simple act alone can be helpful and healing and will begin to lessen the fears.
A few years ago, I was working as a doula with a woman who had enormous fears about childbirth. When the time came for me to join her in labor, I found her lying flat on her back in the hospital bed, rigid with fear, tears streaming down her face. Her husband was standing next to the bed, obviously distressed but not knowing what to do to help.
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My first inclination was to reassure her that she would, indeed, be able to do it. She had lots of support, there was competent staff to care for her, and medication was available if she needed it. But my gut told me none of that would work—she had heard it all before. So instead, I said,. I propped her up on the pillows a little bit. I rested my hand on her shoulder. When a contraction came, we slow-breathed through it together.
You see, courage is not the absence of fear; courage is being able to act in spite of our fear. I see vulnerability as strength not a weakness. Vulnerability allows you to let your guard down. That is true for helpers, too. We do not have to know all the answers. I guarantee that the person you would choose to go to for support if you were scared or upset about something is above all a good listener and someone who would not judge you, who would make you feel like you were okay.
I have a deep-seated belief that one of the most important goals of childbirth is self-acceptance. It is not just healthy mother, healthy baby. I want every woman to come out of birth loving herself. A couple I did labor support for recently gave me a bracelet with a heart on it that was engraved on both sides. That really is what it is all about. Love is stronger than fear. Love for the baby, for her partner, for herself.
Love is the most powerful force there is. She loves this baby enough to go through this for him or her. The stronger the love becomes, the weaker the fear becomes. It is love that will help her find the courage to birth. So what does any of this have to do with us as childbirth educators? Akeela and the Bee Song of the Sea Remember the Titans Pay It Forward for older kids I am David for older kids Two of my favorites to show my high school students were Radio and Rudy.
Top-notch character building inspiration: Some major omissions on your list include I am David and August Rush. I have had major conversations about life with my kids after these two movies. Thanks for taking the time to tell us about these movies, Chris. I was not familiar with either of them. Yes, I absolutely love Finding Nemo. It was hard to carve the list down to just I am glad Sumitha is adding to the list at the bottom.
Totoro is the best movie for small and older kids as well as adults. One of the best movies, period. Frankly most of the movies I have seen from the above list are not suitable for young kids as most of them have very scary characters, dark, intense scenes etc. The lion king will give youngsters nightmares.
Thanks, Kate and Harry. I will add it to our personal list and have added to the consolidated list of additional movies in response to the first comment above. Totoro is one of our favorites. We went on a whole Myazaki binge one summer, plus related things like The Cat Returns. They are all great. But you should be aware that when Disney bought the rights to those films they changed them a bit.
My son is 4 and is getting more interested in movies. This list will be revisited for sure! This is great for limiting the exposure to ads, which are relentless on TV! My daughter is 6 though, and home this summer. I do limit cashing out the marble to 2 at a time ie.
This an absolutely valuable list. I am very grateful to Tiffanie for putting this together for us. And the added bonus has been suggestions from readers in the comments here and on FB helping me discover even more new movies, and all of them with a positive message to boot. I really enjoyed reading through the comments, and appreciate the wonderful suggestions added by the community.
I will be checking them out soon. My twin boys are 4. But, there is something to be said for settling down in your cozy home some evening and just relaxing together with a nice film. I hope you enjoy your time with the twin who loves TV and invites you to watch with him. I think you might like it…. Tracy — Dennis the Menace is one of my favorites!
I had such a hard time carving it down to just 25 movies. I still laugh sometimes thinking of scenes from Dennis the Menace — just a feel good movie all the way around. Safety Last with Harold Lloyd is great, and there are lots of Charlie Chaplain and Buster Keaton films, too, that not only are still funny but give us a chance to teach about history to put things in context. My son is here next to me, and he suggests: And thank your son for me for that wonderful list, will ya please? What about good old Annie, loved that movie as a kid, always gave me the warm fuzzies and great for kindness and compassion.
The new version is def not as good tho. I also have to second the belief that movies ease discussion. The movie sets the topic from specific family members, and somehow that is just enough distance to gently step around tough subjects without individuals getting too uncomfortable. This from Common Sense Media:. There are several positive messages in the story: There are so many movies for us to catch up — hopefully this will lead to more family time and less time my daughter spends watching junk television! Akeela and the Bee is another good one.
It teaches kids to embrace being smart, not to be ashamed of having brains. I really want to watch Pay it Forward with my daughter some day, but it is a bit dark, especially the way it ends… so I will likely wait for her to grow a little older. The number of discussions just that one movie can trigger… whoa!
It was great for young kids and adults alike. These movies can really help kids look upto inspirational human figures and teach them important lessons of persistence. How kids develop cognitive and psychological skills can be learnt here https: All are great series that really helps to teach life lessons to kids. However I love to watch Chhota Bheem with my kid. It is one of the most famous cartoon characters that Indian kids love to watch.
It teaches the life lesson of being Helpful, Kind, Honest and Righteous. The skill that he is so confident and he Never losing focus is what I like the most about him. Moreover kids can learn many life skills that you can read Here: From how you try to stand out to get noticed by your y. My famiIy… I felt so cold and distant from my parents for so long, yet this movie taught me how to forgive, appreciate, and accept people for who they are.
I strived to be a better person after that, and the world seemed to favor my change. We always had family film night. I had a great childhood. We still have our family film get-togethers, showing newer films as well, such as Home, and Big Hero Six and the Despicable Me movies. They all have good things to teach inspite of Dru trying to be a super villian. Thank you for this thought-provoking post and thorough list of movie suggestions. Our website includes recommendations for both picture and chapter books that invoke conversation, we have a popular blog post with unique conversation starters too.
The more we share our values and insight with our children, the better off we are in instilling kindness and caring in a new generation. I also love Woodlawn. Anne of Green Gables. Both teach to live your life. Take the bad and see the good or make it happen. The Boxcar Children is one of our favorites. Through hard times the children are respectful, they care for each other and they have a positive outlook.
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Then again who says you have to sweat it out? Which is why I love family movie nights. Cinderella Good Character Traits: Frozen Good Character Traits: Grace Unplugged Good Character Traits: Brave Good Character Traits: Soul Surfer Good Character Traits: Grit, Bravery, Compassion This is a documentary film based on teenager Bethany Wilson who loved surfing. Grit, Compassion Kirra is spending the summer with her grandfather. Up Good Character Traits: Tenacity, Healing, Friendship A love story and a friendship story all rolled up into one. Love, Healing A family adopts a puppy in to their family.
Facing the Giants Good Character Traits: Faith , Hope, Love A dynamic story depicting the fight between fear and faith. Obedience , Kindness, Honesty A wayward clan of seven kids has run off several nannies. Shrek Good Character Traits: Acceptance, Loyalty Shrek is a story that could be best summed up as not judging a book by its cover.
Self-Love, Friendship, Honesty The Grinch felt so lonely and unworthy that he hid himself in a mountain and swore never to come out. Friendship, Sportsmanship, Loyalty This is a fun film about boys. The Goonies Good Character Traits: Friendship, Compassion, Inner Conviction This is a wonderful story about a group of friends who go for an adventure searching for a hidden treasure. Resiliency, Grit, Balance, Patience A kid is being bullied and wants to learn about martial arts in order to defend himself. Kindness, Love, Self-Worth This is a story about an unlikely friendship between a pig and a spider.
Courage, Grit, Tolerance This movie is truly heartwarming. Obedience, Trust, Honesty, Gratitude There are so many life lessons in this movie. Mary Poppins Good Character Traits: Compassion, Grit, Teamwork, Empathy Since this is a Biography, it opens the doors for real-life discussions, especially if you have older kids. Grit, Honesty, Integrity Based on a true story. Hope Floats Good Character Traits: Click here to download a free printable version of this list of movies that you can tape around your house for quick lookup!
Here we go — Fly Away Home opens up a lot of discussion, too. I am looking forward to watching some of these great suggestions! I love these suggestions! Check out Meet The Robinsons. Great for grit, family, showing kindness. Thanks for the suggestion, Emily! We love The Croods!
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