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99 Adoption DOs and DON'Ts

Strauss' effort offers considerable insight into the motivations of a particular adoptee as it encourages and counsels others wishing to undertake such a search themselves. In On It is a terrific guide that is specifically written for the family members and friends of those who are in the midst of the adoption process. It explains what the hopeful adoptive parents are experiencing and offers advice for how the relatives and friends of the adoptive parents can manage their own feelings about the adoption.

Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos. Instant Mom is a personal narrative, rather than a reference style book, but it is a beautiful story that offers many lessons about how to help a traumatized toddler who was adopted from foster care learn to feel safe and loved again. It is a quick yet hearty read. In Their Own Voices: Simon and Rhonda M. An excellent book about the lives of black and biracial adoptees adopted into white families that combines compelling personal interviews with facts, history, and the legal state of transracial adoptions.

Parenting the Hurt Child: In this sequel to their Adopting the Hurt Child , Keck and Kupecky explore how parents can help adopted or foster children who have suffered neglect or abuse. They begin by outlining changes in adoption and fostering procedures in recent years and use case studies to document the friction and disruption introduced into a household when a hurt, adopted child is brought into the family. The authors examine attachment disorders and control issues as well as parenting techniques that work and those that don't work.

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: Cogen, who leads First Year Home groups for adoptive families, and advises parents all over the United States about their internationally adopted children and lectures to organizations across the nation on adoption and child development. Patty Cogen explains behavior patterns of internationally adopted children as related to scientific research in child development and brain development.

Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier.

Follow the Author

Primal Wound can be a difficult read for adoptive parents, because it starts with the premise that every adoptee is suffering a primal wound, no matter how wonderful and loving their adoptive families may be. Some adoptive parents want to reject the idea of a primal wound; others accept it. Rescuing Julia Twice is the unflinching story of a Siberian adoption, from the difficulties of navigating the frigid landscape to the uneasy sense that something is amiss as the child grows from a baby to a toddler to a child. Reactive Attachment Disorder RAD is the elephant in the room every time that Traster and her husband try to interact with their young daughter, Julia.

Traster recounts her feelings of distress and denial before ultimately seeking diagnosis and treatment for her child. A story that is raw and hopeful, this is a necessary read for those who adopt from foster care, particularly from Russia.

99 Things You Wish You Knew Before Choosing Adoption

This book helps parents, therapists and teachers address the topic of adoption with young children. It draws on examples of true personal conversations between parents and their children, aged two to 10, from 20 families of all kinds, including single, lesbian and interracial. Stressing that "the adoptive family integrates diversity," and that "children come into families in different ways," the authors seek to prepare parents to acquaint children with their origins through frank talk, stories and play. The Complete Book of International Adoption: Davenport, an attorney, has firsthand experience with international adoption; she's the mother of four children, one of whom was adopted from Korea.

Davenport covers topics such as choosing between domestic and international adoption, deciding on a country, locating an agency, determining adoption costs and wading through the often overwhelming amount of paperwork. Though upbeat, the author doesn't sugarcoat the experience, exploring the risks of adoption as well as the rewards. A comprehensive resource guide is included, as well as an invaluable chapter on what to bring and expect when traveling to pick up one's child.

The Girls Who Went Away: Wade by Ann Fessler. I could not put this book down. It was the first book I read that changed my preconceived childhood ideas about why infants were placed for adoption. Especially recommended for adoptees and birthmothers from closed adoptions that took place during the 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's.

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Reveals the secrecy, shame, and coercion that many birthmothers endured. In this sequel to the autobiography A Child Called It, we learn what happens after Pelzer is removed from the home of his abusive alcoholic mother. As he moves in and out of foster homes, he seeks love and stability in a very unstable world. Best read as a series, starting with A Child Called It and finishing with A Man Called Dave , this inspirational series offers hope to those who come from even the most horrifying of backgrounds that resilience is possible and life can get better.

The Open Adoption Experience: An excellent guide to open adoption which helps to answer the questions of both birth parents and adoptive parents and allays the fears of both parties. This book resonated strongly with me. Although most adoption agencies now recommend open adoptions wherever possible, they often provide little guidance on what an open adoption actually looks like. Through their own stories and those of other families of open adoption, Lori and Crystal review the secrets to success, the pitfalls and challenges, the joys and triumphs. By putting the adopted child at the center, families can come to enjoy the benefits of open adoption and mitigate the challenges that may arise.

A Memoir by Ashley Rhodes-Couter. Technically a book for Young Adults, this book provides a voice to marginalized foster children as it tracks the experiences of a young girl who was taken from her birthmother at age four and spent the next nine years in the foster-care system before finding a family to love her. It is an insightful read both for foster parents and foster children, because it shows the need for compassion on all sides. The author is a child development expert and mother of a child adopted as a toddler. She provides a guidebook for those considering toddler adoption or those already struggling with its special challenges.

She provides strategies for dealing with issues such as a grieving toddler or attachment disorder. She also explains normal toddler development and possible variances in the adopted toddler. As an adoptee who was one of the first to fully acknowledge the complex range of emotions that adoptees experience, Eldridge writes to inform adoptive parents of the unique issues adoptees face. She discusses adoptee anger, mourning, and shame and adoption acknowledgment while using case studies to illustrate how parents can better relate to their adopted child.

Written by the editor of Adoptive Families magazine, this book is full of practical, realistic adoption advice from leading attorneys, doctors, social workers, and psychologists, as well as honest, intimate stories from real parents and children. Kasky and Jeffrey A. This Is My Lemonade: Robert Mulkey was adopted as an infant. At age eighteen, he first learned the details of his birth family.

See a Problem?

This Is My Lemonade shares his momentous thirty-four-year quest to get to know his birth family and understand his identity. He grapples with pain and loss before coming to the point of acceptance and broader familial love. The Girl Behind The Door: A California community was shocked and saddened when seventeen-year-old Casey Brooks took her own life, just months before she was intending to start college. Her devastated father, John Brooks, channeled his grief into searching for answers.


  • 99 Things You Wish You Knew Before Choosing Adoption by Robert A. Kasky.
  • 99 Things You Wish You Knew Before Choosing Adoption (99 Series).
  • Сведения о продавце.
  • 99 Things You Wish You Knew Before Choosing Adoption (99 Series);
  • Elminster in Hell (The Elminster Series);

Many people begin to consider adopting a child without understanding how much adoption has changed over recent years. The concept of having a relationship between birth parents and the adoptive family is still foreign to a lot of people. Too many adoptions start out open only to close communication when things get difficult.

Every open adoption is unique and complex, but the basics are the same. Those who know the basics of open adoption will be better prepared for the difficult times. And those who are better prepared for the difficult times will have the tools they need to build what has the potential to be a beautiful and rewarding relationship for everyone in the adoption triad.

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