T ARC provided by publisher. What I find most odd about this story is that despite feeling detached from the characters, I was still riveted. Grant was just so charming and tender, but Penelope was convinced he was all bluster. And they were absolutely adorable together, which is hilarious, because neither personality screams adorable. I loved them all, and I am hoping there will be plenty of them to read about in future installments.
I was pleasantly surprised by Stealing Mr. Mar 25, Nadia rated it really liked it Shelves: Oh this was so cute!! Although Penelope did seem sort of daft, and despite the fact that the main conflict was just a big misunderstanding, I really did enjoy the story.
I had a hard time putting it down.
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And everything about Grant was just awwww, except when he was a jerk, but then we got a chapter from his point of view and he got awwww again. Mar 18, Ines rated it really liked it. This book was better than I expected before I started reading it! Due to the title and the description, I thought it'd be a story like "Mr. Smith", but I was so wrong. The story is told very well, it's easy to understand and has a lot of unexpected turns which I love. Mixing the present time and the past time gives a whole new and fresh perspective into their relationship.
I didn't want to stop reading this story, and not just because some chapters ended with a cliffhanger, but also This book was better than I expected before I started reading it! I didn't want to stop reading this story, and not just because some chapters ended with a cliffhanger, but also because the story itself was so catchy and interesting. This book is totally pop-corn worthy! This is the story of Penelope and Grant. Pen is a jewel thief who works with what really are her friends.
Her husband is Grant who is a FBI agent. This book starts with her and her friends trying to do a heist but her husband comes in doing his job to help protect a necklace This book hooks you in by you wanting to find out how these two even meet much less become married. Which the books slow starts to tell you in the way of jumping from present day to the day they first met to through out their lives up until the present day again. I am usually not a fan of those type of stories that jump around but this one did work for me.
I also like the secondary characters, the humor and just all around story. I will be looking for more books by Ms. This book hooks you in by you wanting to find out how these two even meet much l Stealing Mr. Mar 22, Stephanie added it Shelves: Ok so I am going to be completely honest I was not able to finish this book. I tried for a month and it just did not work. I think for me the problem was the fact that it kept switching back and forth from present and past. And it just didn't seem realistic, at least not to me. I wasn't able to get lost in the world because I kept questioning the why's of everything that happened.
Such as if the husband knew she would be at the heist why not wait to arrest her. Or if she thought he was cheat DNF. Or if she thought he was cheating why not steal the treasure and get rich and leave him. Yeah I understood that they may actually love each other I am not sure as I could not even get that far into the book but it just wasn't able to play out for me mentally. Now these are just problems that I had while trying to read this book so it wont be the same for all. And a lot of readers seem to like the book, it just wasn't for me.
Aug 04, Jennifer rated it liked it Shelves: Right jumps back and forth between present day and about a year 15 months or so to show us how Penelope and Grant met and fall in love. They both know Grant is watching her and her band of friends. They are playing a sexy cat and mouse game but only one of them knows they are playing for keeps. Or should I say only one is up front about it.
It takes one of them Stealing Mr. It takes one of them a little longer to come to terms with the fact they actually love their spouse. The characters are fun, lovable and the romance between Pen and Grant is believable. Mar 10, Jess rated it really liked it Shelves: I really liked this! I like Tamara Morgan in general, because she often writes stuff I'd sort of class as romantic comedy.
And this has SUCH a fun premise. This was a lot of fun, and I would recommend. Feb 27, Kini rated it liked it. This was a fun read. A little suspense, a lot of romantic comedy. Penelope Blue is the heroine and she is a jewel thief. Grant Emerson is her FBI agent husband. When the story starts they are already married. The story is told from Pen's POV and flashes between the present and past. It was fun to read how they met and I would have preferred this book focused more on how they met, but the back and forth was interesting. Pen is slightly unreliable as a narrator as she doesn't fully pay attention t This was a fun read.
Pen is slightly unreliable as a narrator as she doesn't fully pay attention to the things going on around her. The story centers around Pen and Grant and how much they know about each other's jobs and how that impacts their lives. Grant was pretty awesome and I would have enjoyed his POV. One thing that really bothered me was how so many people in Pen's life, particularly the men, referred to her as having no common sense. In Morgan's novel she introduces us to Penelope Blue, the daughter of a notorious thief who disappeared after attempting to steal a two-million dollar necklace.
Left to live on the streets, she and her partners in crime have successfully pulled off heists that have left her with a tidy sum. However, she is haunted by the loss of her father's disappearance and hidden windfall. She and her friends have spent seven years searching for it. They are in the middle of stealing the same necklace when Gr In Morgan's novel she introduces us to Penelope Blue, the daughter of a notorious thief who disappeared after attempting to steal a two-million dollar necklace.
They are in the middle of stealing the same necklace when Grant Emerson, her husband, and FBI agent shows up on the scene and they abandon the heist. The story that unfolds takes place in both the present and the past. Penelope is married to Grant, but still pulling off cases but his presence ruins her chances of getting her hands on the necklace. Things get interesting when Grant is assigned to protect the jewelry.
ONLY it's a lot more complicated than that. What unfolds was brilliant with lots of twists, turns, and shocking discoveries. This takes us through the courtship of Grant and Penelope and offered insight into both. These two are playing a game of cat and mouse. But what is their end game and who will get caught? Mogan weaves past and present together for the romantic aspect of their story all while pulling both threads into the current mystery.
It was neat seeing events from the past storyline tie into the present storyline. The story started off very slowly for me, and admittedly I struggled with the back and forth. I will say, that the remainder of the story was addictive, with puzzle pieces falling into place, suspenseful moments and FINALLY as a reader establishing a connection with the couple. I became a part of the story, one of the gang.
I ended up loving the characters and appreciated how developed the secondary characters were. Penelope is funny, with witty comments but she is also pretty ingenious at devising a plan and sneaking into weird places. Grant, is an FBI agent through and through but he is also loyal, and the more Morgan peeled back his layers, the harder I fell. Now that the pesky back and forth is over I am ready to spend more time with Penelope and Grant. Copy provided by publisher. This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Book Reviewer Apr 13, Liz Mc2 rated it liked it Shelves: I read this because I needed a book involving a heist for a reading challenge.
I wanted a shorter book that moved more briskly. This does not sound like a three-star review. Some of their banter is fun. Mar 18, Katie rated it really liked it Shelves: I loved the relationship and the "does he know that I know that he knows? Very much looking forward to the next books.
Mar 09, Timitra rated it really liked it. I first heard about this book over a year ago on Twitter, it had me all atwitter and I knew I had to read it. Fast forward to yesterday, I was scrolling through Net Galley when I saw it as a "read now" offering, I snatched it up and spent the today reading it. I must say that blurb does not fully prepare you for the rollercoaster ride that is this book. I quite enjoyed it and cannot wait to read more in the series. If you're looking for a fun read that is also a suspense then snatch this bad boy I first heard about this book over a year ago on Twitter, it had me all atwitter and I knew I had to read it.
If you're looking for a fun read that is also a suspense then snatch this bad boy up, you won't regret it. ARC provided by publisher through Net Galley in exchange for a honest review Mar 06, i fall in love book blog rated it really liked it. This was a seriously fun, lighthearted romp. It made me smile throughout and I didn't want it to end. It's been a long time since I've read a "romantic comedy" and it made me want to go find more books like this.
This is a perfect summer beach read and I'll be looking out for more Tamara Morgan, that is for sure. The only problem I think some people may have with this book is that it's told in alternating timelines. The chapters alternate between present day and the beginning of their relationshi This was a seriously fun, lighthearted romp. The chapters alternate between present day and the beginning of their relationship. I didn't find it confusing because it tells you what time period you are in at the beginning of each chapter.
I think it was a great way to keep the action spread throughout the book and also allowed you to see what led to where they are now. I kinda loved it. Also, I would be first in line if they made this into a movie.
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Just throwing that out there. If anybody has any similar book recommendations, I'm all ears. Until then, I've already added Saving Mr. Perfect and Seeking Mr. I'm definitely going to want to go along for the ride. I received an advance review copy of this book that I have chosen to review. Jun 05, Talia Hibbert rated it really liked it. I personally can't cope with romance arcs that span multiple books, and that is entirely personal preference. So I won't be reading the rest of the series. But this book is an amazingly fun and sexy despite being closed-door story that stands alone and has a great HEA!
View all 3 comments. Fun, and funny read' I have to be in the right mood to read a 1st person viewpoint story , but enjoyed.
When I read the synopsis of this book I thought yes please this book is for me. I was correct and I couldn't put it down. The story is completely told from Penelope's POV so we only get her perspective on what Grant knows and is up to. I really enjoyed their cat and mouse game and verbal sparring. The romance was swoony without graphic detail which was refreshing. Grant is currently one of my favorite heroes.
He's good looking, sweet, super smart, and an FBI agent who carries a gun and can kick When I read the synopsis of this book I thought yes please this book is for me. He's good looking, sweet, super smart, and an FBI agent who carries a gun and can kick ass. What's not to love? This book is part of a series and I hate cliffhangers so I almost set it aside but the story hooked me so I decided to keep going. I am glad I did because the story ends in a great place without a cliffhanger. My only complaint was the flashbacks to the past. The story they told was definitely necessary but I wish it hadn't jumped back and forth.
I liked how the book opened but once it went to the past I wish the story would have played out from there. I almost knocked it down to 4. Feb 26, Cheryl rated it it was amazing.
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You know you are in for a good, funny read when within the first three pages there is already a joke being told. After this the book just got better and better. I just love when everything just comes together The product of this outcome can only be found in Tamara Morgan's Stealing Mr. Yet, it was very entertaining to see Penelope and Grant try to side step each other without entrapping themselves. Penelope may be a good thief but every thief could use some back up.
Meet Penelope's partners in crime, Riker, Jordan, and Oz. They were good for laughs as well. However, Oz did not make as many appearances as Riker and Jordan. One of my favorite moments in this book was involving Riker and Grant. Riker is a no-nonsense type of guy. So to see him wrapped in Grants arms for a "heart hug" was hilarious.
I could not stop reading this book. I was having such an enjoyable time. I am thoroughly looking forward to reading the next book. Apr 09, Nina rated it it was amazing Shelves: This book made me smile long after I finished I read it. BUT, I did feel a bit frustrated when the heroine had her dumb moments and when the hero refused to let her be in his plan. Both characters did a lot of shady things behind their special-other's back. But I shove it under the rag because the core of this story was supposed to be a Cat and Mouse-esque. Ho This book made me smile long after I finished I read it.
However, I rated this high because it lifted my mood. And that's what a book supposed to do. Jul 24, Els Tragic Romantic rated it really liked it Shelves: I absolutely loved this book. I'm pretty sure it was an impulse buy in an ebook sale a while back but I will definitely be buying the rest of the series later. Apr 23, Grace rated it liked it Shelves: There were moments when I was really into this, but overall it didn't quite draw me in the way I wanted it to.
I think the flashbacks format ultimately didn't work for me in this particular story. Jun 23, Shannon Dyer rated it really liked it. Round up to 4. This was such a delight! Penelope and Grant play an intriguing game of cat and mouse that kept me guessing until the end.
May 22, Alix rated it liked it Shelves: While I like this, it ended up falling short for me overall. I really loved the premise and I liked Penelope but I never connected with Grant and the overall story just didn't click for me. I'll probably still give the second book a chance since the included preview peeked my curiousity enough.
Dec 30, Nasreen rated it really liked it Shelves: I knew I would love this read half way reading the blurb, the concept is something I really wanted in a book but could not find for the life of me!! So believe me when I say I was over the bloody moon to find this rare gem, this is one of those reads that will definitely pull you out of that dreadful book funk!
Right was such a hilarious, swoon-worthy and lighthearted read which was exactly what I needed. It was filled with lovable, entertaining characters with witty dialogue which i I knew I would love this read half way reading the blurb, the concept is something I really wanted in a book but could not find for the life of me!! It was filled with lovable, entertaining characters with witty dialogue which is a must and a sexy, cute romance that always put a smile to my face.
I need more of Grant! I honestly can not wait for the next book and I know it will not disappoint me! Nice guys are more likely to be empathetic, nurturing and other-centered. When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. Yet ironically, the more beautiful she makes herself, the better her chances of attracting the wrong type of guy.
It is better to be looked over than to be overlooked. Conversely, the less attractive the man, the less likely he will approach a woman who is far more attractive than he is. But they are a rare breed. It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. The experience can be so foreign and disorienting that he comes across as a stammering fool. Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime and lots of happy fat women. Meanwhile, the nice guys sit in the back of the room and admire her from afar. O Woman, you are not merely the handiwork of God, but also of men; these are ever endowing you with beauty from their own hearts. You are one-half woman and one-half dream. Frustrated, she may close herself off emotionally to all men, eliminating any chance a nice guy may have of connecting with her in a meaningful way.
In this way, her fear of never finding the right guy can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We act in such a way that people finally comply and act in the way we feared they would act. You fear a person will leave you, and because of that fear, you act in such a way that finally causes the person to actually leave. The kind of charmers who are sweep-her-off-her-feeters are often the polar opposite of the kind of men who are good in relationships.
When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. Which brings up the question: Can men and women truly be friends? Yes, but only if neither of them has any romantic interest in the other.
Stealing Mr. Right (Penelope Blue, #1) by Tamara Morgan
If even one of them is harboring hopes of romance, the friendship will reach critical mass sooner rather than later, at which point the friendship must either dissolve or transition into a relationship. Nice guys are often more comfortable asking out and authentically communicating with women who they feel are more likely to agree to go out with them.
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. What if the beautiful woman in question is also brilliant and a successful high achiever? Yep, timid nice guys would view her as even more intimidating and unapproachable. Ah, but in Mr. One female reader succinctly commented: Excessive doting might sound like a problem many women would be willing to endure but life on a pedestal can get old very quickly.
A mature woman wants a partner who treats her as an equal; she will settle for nothing less than being authentically loved, not mindlessly worshipped. Demanding that nice guys man up is obvious, yes, but a tall order. In order to approach a beautiful woman, a man needs to have healthy self-esteem. The greater his autonomy, self-knowledge, and self-confidence, the greater the likelihood he will feel worthy of being with an attractive woman. In short, a nice guy has to stop dreaming and start doing the inner work that so many guys are reluctant to do.
When that day comes, external beauty will be little more than an afterthought. By definition, a guy who has sincere, caring, mutually respectful relationships with women cannot and would not be a hunter. For all the women out there who are frustrated about not being able to find a good guy, here is some sage advice from a woman named Suzy. I thought the comment she left was important enough to feature more prominently. I hope her advice brings you some measure of comfort and inspiration. Thank you, this is very true. I have experienced this and seen this with others too so many times.
This is one main reason why many beautiful but valuable woman are still alone, generally over thirty. As a woman, I just think that time is wise and eventually the right person will come. Meanwhile, for beautiful women who are still alone, I just think:. Take advantage of being single. Focus on yourself and your goals. Successful and happy people are far more interesting. Do what makes you happy and do it the best you can.
When if not now? Take the opportunity to meet more people, make friends and do more activities. Real friends are the people who will be around you when you get older. Artificial insemination, a crazy night on the beach? Whatever you choose, remember a woman can have a baby by herself. Aim to have a stable career that helps you raise your child. Forget about being with a man only for financial help. Life is much more than marrying and having kids. Forget about judgements from society. What people say or think is just that, their little thoughts in their small limited world of judgements.
Develop your inner self and your mind, more than the outside features. This way, the right people may start coming around. The last and most important one: Please see yourself as more than just beautiful. How you see yourself is what you project. Attitude is the key. Remember, how you see yourself is what you project to others. Click here to read my post on what women want from men. Click here to view all my posts about romantic relationships.
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This entry was posted on September 13, at You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2. You can leave a response , or trackback from your own site. I feel a bit conceited lumping myself into the category of beautiful women, but I have definitely experienced most of what you wrote about. If I sit back, the type of men who approach me are generally not the type of men I am looking for, for all of the reasons you detailed above.
The conclusion I came to is that the best way to meet people is to treat everyone like a good friend, with the same amount of love and respect. If something is going to develop beyond that, let it happen organically instead of having expectations when meeting someone. That said, I believe I have more meaningful romantic relationships overall. I appreciate the feedback, Jackie Rose. Your comments bring up a couple of good points.
First, yes, you are attractive! Second, will nice guys welcome attractive women approaching them? Your experience says probably not. This is a bit of a head scratcher to me. I suspect that the element of surprise is at fault here. So ultimately, I think it comes down to the guy finding the courage to overcome the intimidation factor and just go for it. Developing that self-confidence bodes well not only for the initial contact but also for the relationship to follow.
I can also relate, unfortunately, to some of these experiences. I imagine most of us have romantic regrets to some degree. May you make the right choices going forward. Very good job, Phil. I wonder if you have answer for my question. I am attractive, get a lot of attention looks , and zero actions. I think the problem is my age.
I look 15 ears younger. At 45, I am mistaken for Was married 3 times- first at 16,lasted 15 years, other 2 marriages-met them both on-line, married shortly thereafter. The second guy was a jerk, Still friends with the last one. It has been a VERY long time since a guy approached me. Is it because they are unsure about my age? I highly doubt that, Sam. Guys usually like younger women.
Do you want to get approached and asked out? It truly hits home!! Thank you once again for the article. Jovannie, you are the walking, talking embodiment of everything I wrote about here. If I may make a suggestion, I would advise you to turn the tables and ask a guy out if you meet someone who interests you. Good luck to you!
Phil — I will most definitely look to buy your book on this topic. I have, my entire life, had difficulties with relationships. I have been married three times — two short ones — one for ten years with children. Why did you have to screw it up? I date, and the last time I put my profile on a dating site, I got responses in two months — some of them really crazy men, saying crazy things to me.
This is the first time I am finding this information. I actually did a search on why we physically favored women have such a terrible time. I found you and your book. I am sad that maybe I will never find a man who loves me for the intelligent, sensitive, kind woman I am. Just men who are attracted to me, all the time for the wrong reasons.
I am followed in stores, I have to always watch out. I have never asked any man out. I have never in my life in any dating site, winked, or talked to a man first. Afraid I would be taken as a pushy dominant woman. Claudia, I am sorry to hear of your experiences with men. Sorry, but not surprised. I remember feeling sad when a beautiful friend of mine told me that she was frustrated because she felt like she always had to wait until a guy asked her out, which meant she pretty much never went out with guys she wanted to go out with.
Unfortunately, my book has nothing to do with this topic. I wish I could be of more help to you. All I can offer is another post I wrote on what women want from men: I have to agree with the majority by saying this article is the answer to a lot of concerns we as women have about where in the world Mr.
With that being said I find more times than not guys who I am not attracted to at all all the wrong guys get the confidence from somewhere to ask me out, or ask for my phone number, and become very bold. I can also agree with Hannah with certain type of guys being intimidated by me. Hannah made a great point about even the nice ones could fool you haha.. Thank you for your comment, LRenee.
Yes, I imagine that the intimidation factor is doubled or tripled when a beautiful woman is also a capable, confident executive. I very much appreciate your article on Beautiful Women and finding mr. I found my mr. This has been a desire of mine, but the way it played out was that i put my spouse on a pedestal appreciated who he was, talked him up, served him to my utmost, etc — bc he deserves it. But I believe I deserve it, too! I knew my value; I just never experienced it through his eyes — or through his expressions.
He was rather lacking in expression. He is easy to talk to. I used to be able to tell him everything, until we became romantically involved. Then it all stopped. Frankly, I do find myself attracted to the pursuer — as a pursuer myself. I like to pursue and like to keep the pursuit going. When should we ever stop learning who our beloved is? When should we ever stop being grateful for them out loud, in public? When should we ever stop being tender and affectionate with them?
When should we ever stop serving them? The marriage lasted almost 2 decades…of me waiting to be pursued. He was SO good at talking and listening, until we got romantic. But no, hubby was not a pursuer, which is why I might be attracted to pursuers. So my downfall is that I am attracted to brilliant overachievers, who capture what they pursue and then stop, focus on their own selfish interests and leave me behind or I leave them behind. I want a pursuer who is committed to ME: Yes, pursuit should be a lifelong ambition, in terms of pursuing knowledge about your partner.
This was fabulous reading—good job: I think the solution is a spiritual one: There is only Ms. Right within us and once we learn to truly love and honor ourselves as women — beautiful or not — we will hopefully draw into our lives, the mirror and reflection of who we truly are internally—not externally. We are all being asked by spirit to drop the externals and find within, what we are searching for, outside of ourselves. Thanx for this opportunity to preach to myself: This explains a lot. Boy, do I relate. I think all ten of the Davids I dated have predator dispositions.
I wear the traveling shoes of a weathered Cinderella. So nice and refreshing to run into your blog Phil. I resorted to reading your blog because I need a positive note to hang on to after this past year or two of getting back in the dating game. Sorry, not conceited — just confident. Surprisingly, it never seizes to amaze me how non-commital, game-playing, and emotionally unavailable these guys truly are; however, they say they want to be in a relationship. Or is it me?
Like honesty and monogomy for starters would be good. Life throws lots of curve balls so either run really fast or get out of the way because they will still be coming at ya!! Thanks for hearing me out Phil, God Speed. Thanks so much for responding, Sylvie. As for finding men who are mature, honest, good-hearted and emotionally available, the first thing that comes to mind is meeting them at places where people on a spiritual path congregate. But, of course, there are no guarantees there either. Lots of women are looking for a good man, and lots of men are looking for a good woman.
There are a lot of men out there who give men a bad name. I wish I could be of more help to you and all the other single people looking for a good match. Right-now a few times over. To some extent, I have written a post about guys manning up as far as treating women the way they want and need to be treated. Very interesting…but there is no solution from what i read except if I start going out in sweats, no makeup and a ponytail. I guess too it could be our faults as women. Maybe they were the exception to the rule. No, there is not a one-size-fits-all solution, Jenni. The more attuned you are to your own intuition, the better your chances of success in any kind of relationship.
I am SO glad that I found this site. I am an individual. I am a person. I am a human being. All that is crossing their path are players and cheaters. That is a man to be honored, respected, and looked up to. As a result of my very negative experiences since I divorced and started dating 6 years ago, I stopped dating 3 years ago after my last major hurt. This is the result of their being self-centered, selfish, egotistical and self-indulgent. Mutual in-love and mutual love free us from the chains of our own selfishness and makes each of us a better person for ourselves and for our beloved.
It leads to the highest level of love that results in a spiritual bonding. It has been very helpful for me to vent my frustrations — nay, resentment: I feel my sense of humor inching to the surface again. Now, to the point, I did want to add one more factual observation. I think that nowadays, the issue is sex. I had one moron ask me, within 20 minutes of having our first conversation over a dinner, how long I waited before having sex. I felt offended and insulted by his lack of manners and social skills. Yet another guy took me to an initial dinner and as dinner was ending, asked me to go to his house to see his garden and his collection of various types of peppers.
I seriously doubt that he wanted to show me the peppers in his garden — the only pepper he wanted me to see was the one attached to his body! Thank you for your passionate comments, A. I am sorry to hear about your all-too-common experiences with guys who give men a bad name. However, I can assure you that the issue is NOT sex. Unfortunately that means a lot of good men and good women are not spending time together.
Thanks for the info, Phil. However, I do have to share that I and most women I have spoken with or heard speak on this issue at workshops and conventions, which is hundreds by now believe a lot of guys have no problem inviting a beautiful woman out, but once they can tell that she is not promiscuous, based on her behavior, how she carries herself, the topics of conversation that she will enge in and not engage, they will not continue asking her out. It appears to be as simple as that. As to men approaching beautiful women.
The first part of the issue is having the guys approach us and talk to us; then the second part of the issue is whether they approached us because there is something in us that they liked more than just our looks and they want to get to know us better, or whether they are just trying to figure out whether we will agree to sex quickly or whether we are real women, which means that we view sex as part of a loving relationship and not just as a stand-alone activity.
Well, I think this is my last post in the thread. I shared everything that I thought was important and that might help other women. I could have written it better, but hey, writing on the fly like this is not easy. Everything you said is accurate, A. I can assure you that not all men are like that.
Not by a long shot. The nice guys who are not looking only for sex are the very ones who are too intimidated by your beauty to approach you. Hi, Phil — thanks so much for directing me to your blog! I find this subject infinitely fascinating. I have personally never had much experience with the hunter type of guy. Of course I want an attractive man to be attracted to me. Why give those hunter guys a chance to be hunters?
Why not make them communicate with you on your terms? What makes those men hunters any way? Maybe the way they have been treated by women — maybe they are used to women objectifying them, so they are just going with it? If you make the hunter pursue you on your terms, you can get what you want — you just have to know what you want and be honest about it.
There are some guys who are hunters because no one has ever told them to cut the crap. Another very important way to look at this is that we all will have reflected back to us what WE are putting out there. Perhaps taking a look at ourselves and see why we could be attracting situations that feel negative and find unfulfilling. I totally agree with the above. I think women perceive lack of action as a lack of interest — I know I do. What are you worth?
Fifteen Reasons Why Beautiful Women Have Trouble Finding Mr. Right
Thanks for your well-thought-out response, Jayne. You bring up some interesting points: Do hunters ultimately want a quality relationship with a woman? If a woman demands respect from a hunter, will he show her respect? Further, is he even capable given his current level of maturity of showing respect to a woman?
In other words, can a leopard change his spots? I know many people who need more self-confidence and self-worth in their lives, but my encouragement falls on deaf ears. How will they ever get to the point of having more confidence and courage? A natural extension of your recommendation is that everyone view life itself as a spiritual quest. That approach has indeed been the salvation of many, but like all ideals, few choose that path and even fewer walk far enough down it to achieve lasting results.
I am getting lonely and fed up. I am supposed to feel attractive but how attractive does anyone feel who never gets approached by men? It really makes you feel rubbish inside if you let it. I get a hard time from other women probably partly due to my looks. But I am single while averagely pretty friends of mine get all the attention. One of my own brothers is very jealous of my looks and is nasty to me about it.
I promise you that I am a very caring and compassionate person and good company from what I can tell. And I get a lot of crap from a lot of people. I just want to meet a man and pardon me for wanting a good looking man. But the good looking men are often players who want to use me. I want to be seduced, but as you say, the ones who can seduce are greedy.
I want someone who loves me. Someone I can start a family with. I have ended up in controlling relationships in the past and now I am wondering if my looks make men more likely to want to keep me on a short leach and if I accepted the poor treatment because at least it was some sort of commitment? I had a relationship with a guy who put me on a pedestal and it was healing after an abusive relationship, but so claustrophobic that I had to end it.
They would have cheated on me eventually of course, but while they lasted, those guys made me feel like the centre of their universe, respected and cherished. This is why I wrote this post—to give women some insight into how men think so they can break this type of cycle. Everything, that is, except your last line: Men who are too intimidated by your beauty to approach you in person are more likely to engage with you online. Then, when you agree to meet, you will have established a solid foundation that will greatly reduce the intimidation factor.
Your mindset is also vitally important. I wrote a post about affirmations that you may find helpful: By the way, never ever ever put anyone on a pedestal, because if you put them up there, the only way they can look at you is by looking down on you. This is not a character flaw in either party, this is a behavioral mistake. This is a great article and I identify with it completely.
Best of luck to you. This is all good to hear. I am the same. I used to model. I am in my 30s but look 25, very intelligent and accomplished. When the whole time, I figured they did not like me for one reason or another and I only got approached by sleeze-bags. Or they are way older than me, looking for arm-candy.
I am of course looking for a man who has taken care of himself; however I am not looking for Mr. Most beautiful women are nice and just looking for someone who is nice and average-attractive and who will value her. Beautiful women learn early that attempting to date equally attractive men is not worth it, because they are making their way towards sleeping with every woman on the planet and tend to be ego-maniacs. Therefore, we only looking for average!!!
Thank you for your comments, Julie. Your experience perfectly illustrates the dilemma faced by beautiful women. Perhaps you have given them hope by leaving this comment! Good luck, and I hope you find a man who appreciates you for who you are!
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As many of your respondents have said, being too attractive is not a subject you can discuss with most people, least of all family and girlfriends. I still find the very few men who have the nerve to ask me out are indeed the egomaniacs who just want the status of a beautiful woman with them.
However, my request to you is a little different. I understand so much more and am genuinely happy to be myself. I do continue to want a man to share my life with as an equal, but now I only want someone who is pretty far down the spiritual path as well. Do you know of a group where like-minded spiritual people congregate?
I did look into an online dating site that said they were spiritual, but it was filled with too many people who seem to have gone off the deep end, missing the simple essence of it all. Thanks so much for writing, Victoria! The point is, you have a much better chance of finding that special someone on whatever path speaks to your heart.
If you do not belong to any kind of spiritual or religious organization, then, yes, it gets more difficult. Online dating sites that claim to be spiritual are a good place to start. Another source would be Meetup groups meetup. Attending spiritual conferences is another way to meet like-minded people who are serious about their spiritual lives.
If you live in or near a big city, there almost certainly will be some kind of conference or expo in your area. Best of luck with your search! I now realize that I am not alone in the cruel world of dating. So many of my friends tell me to not be picky, to just go for it, to try but when I do it always ends up the same way, me being single and feeling worse about myself than before.
It has been a struggle for me as I am a believer that it should be the man that approaches the woman and not the other way around. Even though I have confidence in how I look and feel about myself, sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me and that if I ask someone out they will say no and I will feel bad. Both ended the same way with the guys saying that I would be better off without them. The turtle always wins the race! My fight is not yet over Phil, you have inspired me to think and act a little differently.
Those that are worthy will show themselves and it will be up to me to weed out the sheep from the wolves. Thanks for writing, Kay. Your experiences certainly support the theme of this post. You just said that you felt the very same way yourself. So the situation is: The guy is thinking the same thing about you. So nobody asks anybody out and each of you goes away frustrated and alone. The ideal solution is to meet men in non-dating social situations and stay open to the possibility of having good chemistry with someone you can start a friendship with.
Once a guy feels comfortable getting to know you, he will be less intimidated by the thought of taking the next step. Meetup groups may be worth looking into meetup. There are also lots of groups that offer non-dating social activities for singles. One of my friends met his wife that way. Good luck with your search. Now that you are more aware of the dynamics involved, you should be on your way! Thank you for your tweets! For years, I have been without many dates and seemingly lack of male interest. Men literally look the other way when they pass me by. As I see other women of all shapes, sizes, levels of attractivenss receive male attention, date and move into relationships.
But other minority women were dating. I also thought that there was some type of vibe that I was exuding to repel men. Some times I wonder why this woman gets male attention and I do not, except for online. This puts things into perspective. But I must disagree with you: I saw your Twitter photo and you are indeed quite beautiful. I still get told that. I see women much younger than I am showing signs of envy. A few years prior to this a man around my age that I had known for a couple of weeks and had coffee with called me up and performed a sex act over the phone.
This has been happening since I was a teenager. All I can say is that I find it weird. Perhaps I was a prostitute in my former life If you believe in that. Plenty of beautiful women have found good men and I hope the same for you. The more you love and accept yourself, the more likely that others will too. The world is a mirror of our inner life, and if you are able to reframe your perspective, great changes can occur.
I wish you the best. Thank you for your blog. After reading this, I felt a lot better knowing that other women experience the same problem as I do. It always happen when I am going to social events and weddings that other women would give me this look, thinking I am going to steal their boyfriend or husband.
I never even flirt or approach any of these men, but women have this crazy notion that I am after their man. I hope anybody reading this would back me up. When I tell my friends this, they think I am being silly or I should get off my high horse. Not only do men feel intimidated by them, but other women are often standoffish as well. Selfish, no personality or sense of humor, no work ethic, her day is ruined because she broke a fingernail, she has to have lipstick on when going out to the mailbox are just a few reasons why.
This assumption sounds suspect. I certainly understand being attracted to down-to-earth women but plenty of attractive women are also down to earth. As for women approaching men, yes, a lot of men would welcome that, but a lifetime of social conditioning can be hard to overcome. So true and so sad and so frustrating. I decided to approach a couple guys myself but they treated me like I was desperate for a relationship or just a skank looking for sex.
All I can tell you is that plenty of attractive women have found wonderful partners, so the worst thing you can do is give up, because that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. What I would tell both women and men is to stay positive and dedicate yourself to continual self-improvement in every aspect of life. The better you become, the better your chances of attracting someone else at that level, and the better the odds that it will work out. Above all, never give up hope!
Dreams do come true. A guy I know has a very cute wife—down to earth, and an all-around genuinely nice woman. He says that she struck up a conversation with him while at one of the stores in the mall. They just talked like two human beings having a conversation. She invited him to have lunch with her at a place she was going to that week, and she asked him which day would be better for him.
Only complete idiots would think a woman is desperate or easy because she simply asks a man out…. I agree with you, Perry. They need to get past that quickly. If they can, good things can happen. Thanks for your reply. That is definitely seeing the glass half full: Jenna, have you tried online dating sites? More than half of all relationships now begin online. You start conversations with women, right?
Then hand them your e-mail address. As a female reader so succinctly commented: I never really wanted to do the internet dating thing, it seems a bit weird to try to narrow down the sort of person you want to meet, but it seems like it might be the only option left. And the right kind of guy will be much more likely to ask you out if he perceives you as positive and cheerful. Started on meditation this morning, working on changing my mindset: Thank you for your words!
You can learn about it at http: I wish you all the best! I get this as well. They look suspicious, frightened, vaguely hostile. I also think I was fired from a job because of my appearance. The owner hired me and his wife fired me. I ran into a former co-worked and she confirmed that this was indeed the reason. In fact, I prefer baggy stuff and flats.
It I wore sexy clothing I would be under constant assault. Unfortunately, this dynamic is all too common, Elizabeth. Beautiful women not only have to put up with unwanted, aggressive behavior from men, but vaguely hostile reactions from women as well. Many women do not want their husbands to associate with beautiful women in any way, and are deeply suspicious of women who are better looking than they are. Your last line is very telling.
Yes, if you dolled yourself up, you would indeed be under constant assault. You would have to put up with aggressive behavior from men as well as withering looks from women. He comes right out for it. No same routine, same outcome and sane results just many more men than one would expect. I can emphatically assure you that that is not the case. You just need to meet a better quality of men.
However, I can tell you that if you continue to have the same attitude about men and about life in general, you will continue to attract the same kind of men and experiences. I wish you luck in breaking out of that cycle. I understand that fully Phil trust me I do. I have standards and things I find is necessary in a person yet I still end up with crap. Which I believe is unfair.
I still get ignored. Yet think they van fix it by finding another woman to make up for the slack. You and all the other men can disagree with me. All men are the same. I get nothing can be perfect. Never carried myself as promiscuous, even though there were rumours spread about me. Beauty Queen will give him an ounce of her attention. As a man, I can unequivocally tell you that you are dead wrong. Your comments are drenched in negativity and you are clearly angry and bitter. For example, you trash beautiful women in the last paragraph and lump them all into a shallow stereotype to make yourself feel better about yourself.
Do you not see the danger in this? This negative, bitter attitude is reflected in the way you show up in the world and affects how other people interact with you. Given that I know absolutely nothing about you or your situation, making any assumptions would be foolish on my part. All I can tell you is that the best way for anybody to be happier is to reinvent themselves by adopting a more positive, loving view of the world.
If that seems impossible or laughable to you, just remember: Nothing changes if nothing changes. ItzMzBunny, when someone talks like that, whether they are a man or woman, they are either exaggerating or they are the problem. It might be an eye-opening experience! You know, like fellow human beings even. Not all men act like Neanderthals. As a man who has a number of caring, intelligent and enlightened male friends who honor and respect women, I know this to be true.
And your comments as well as hers illustrate the truth of it. As for your criticisms of men with regard to their behavior in relationships, you are oversimplifying the issue and again assuming that most, if not all, men behave badly. THe way you characterize men is like a bad stereotype. Yes, many many are like that, but to give the impression that virtually all men are like that is disingenuous. Yes, there are certainly many, many men who give men a bad name, but there are a lot of unenlightened women out there too. You all claim there are good guys and how women are the problem and are stingy and all want to be married.
Maybe it should be stated that there are far more few than people say. Example oh there are good men but in actuality there are only or maybe even My father was a damn good man. But I do agree with M. I thought I could get the pick of the litter. Regardless if I change my hair style or color, buy new clothes or dress up I always get overlooked. I got dumped by my prom date and when I asked him why he frolicked off like he just got a load of candy. I never did get a response but so the rumors said he did it because I was hideous ugly.
There are sick men out there. Many women are left single, confused and damaged goods. They are the alpha women. Same goes for women who whine and moan about all the good men, yet they have them in their friendzone. I want an actual result. Hearing that there are good men is like hearing unicorns are real over and over again. Our society says that men want a size 0 bombshell who has superhuman powers and does anything he asks or wants without a fuss who works, takes care of the house and kids and in some cases is the provider.
ItzMzBunny, I needed to edit your post because the examples you gave of men behaving badly with you were too graphic. The world is full of dysfunctional people, and you seem to have run into more than your share. The best chance you have to live a more positive, loving life is continuous self-improvement. Life tends to get better, and you tend to meet higher-quality people, as you become a better person. That holds true for women and men in whatever situation they are in life. Look at my pic in my profile page that I send to newspaper and magazine editors.
And all we are basically talking about is JUST starting a conversation with a man, just like she would with a woman. They are more caring and understanding, but starting a conversation with a man and then asking them out is not part of their—makeup. And deep down, they know it. Likewise, women obsess about their looks and attach their attractiveness to their self-worth far more than men do, although as you pointed out, those lines are blurring as well.
A whole lot of research shows that men are typically attracted to women for their looks while women are often not always, to be sure attracted to men for their ability to provide security. I want to be able to sleep at night. Women HAVE been programmed not to approach men but the bigger problem as far as I can tell is that men have been programmed to be skeptical of women approaching them. The type of man who usually approaches me? Yes, the type of man who approaches pretty women. I would encourage you to keep trying. Hopefully, your run of bad luck will end soon. Thankfully, from what I understand, the younger generation is already starting to level the playing field.
Actually, Jenna, as a writer for singles, I do know how frustrating it can be—for both men and women. Perry, I think you hit upon a useful statement that Jenna and other women can agree with: Men can be doorknobs. I get porno emails. My life has been something like that. One guy took me to dinner and thought it was OK to grab my hand and place it on his you know what.
Am I just being prudish or is this stuff truly out of line? The very next man that was interested in me was the one who started sending porno emails. Elizabeth, what your experiences as well as the experiences of many women prove is that there is no shortage of men out there who give men a bad name. I can only begin to imagine the frustration and disgust that you and so many other women have to contend with. I wish there were some way to distinguish the good guys from the bad boys, but alas, that is more an art than a science.
I can assure you that this is not the case.