How can things get better if he refuses to change, and refuses to admit his faults? Read some of the stories in the comments section below and see if you really believe your dad deserves to be hated. My dad always makes me cry. He sometimes grabs me by my neck and pushes me to the basement. He and my mother say horrible things like "don't be like my son" or "I wish you were my son.
Living with Mom and Living with Dad
Can I live with a different family member or just a different family? You really must talk with other adults you trust. Perhaps your grandparents or your uncles and aunts if they don't behave as your parents do. Otherwise, talk to the parents of a friend. Tell them exactly what's going on in your home, and ask for help and advice.
Believe me; I understand that running away sometimes feels like the only option available to kids when they're really unhappy at home. However running away creates a whole new set of problems, and most kids end up going home again or being sent home again to more of the same kind of drama. So I want you to think of adults you trust, and then contact them and ask for help.
If you want to talk with me more about this, just write to me in the comments section below where you can write messages that can be as long as you like. I'll try and help and encourage you if you don't get immediate help from a nearby adult. My dad never loves my mom and me. He always threatens us for no reason. When he is at home, he keeps chatting with other people especially ladies. My mom doesn't like that, and when she asks about it, he starts swearing. It makes us feel bad. We can complain to police but to keep his image good in society, we don't.
So please suggest what we should do? I'm not sure if the police would get involved unless your father is actively violent towards you or your mom. But if he is violent, you should certainly go to the police. If your dad is so concerned about keeping his image good in society, perhaps your mom or your grandparents could have a talk with him about improving his behavior at home. If he wants to be viewed as a nice and respectable man, he should behave himself at home. The truth has a way of catching up with us all, and one day people will know what he's really like.
My dad never stops shouting at me. I usually spend the day in my room doing normal teenage stuff, which seems normal as I'm a teenager. But it seems like a problem to my father. He storms into my room and starts shouting way to close to my ear that I need to spend my time watching tv with him. He then proceeds to literally destroy my room to see what I was doing. Yesterday he broke the last present one of my best friends gave me before she died in a car accident.
Can you help me? If your dad knew it was a present from your friend who died and he deliberately broke it, he is cruel beyond belief. If he broke it by accident, knowing that should be enough reason for him to stop. I think you should have a talk with your father.
Tell him if he really wants you to watch something on tv with him, he should come to your bedroom door and invite you, in a civilized fashion like most fathers do. Then politely return to your room. My dad is always miserable! He always puts out a bad feeling in the room when he's in his depressed state. He constantly talks negatively about my mom and how we never do anything right. I don't hate him like he always says, but I get very frustrated when he's in these mood swings.
But when he's not depressed or angry, he can be really fun! What can I do to get him to stop being miserable all the time? The obvious way to try and cheer him up is to ask what he'd like to do that would make him happy. Maybe you could play tennis for some exercise or go to the beach or something else to get him out of the house and thinking about something different. But if he has a serious problem with depression, it is probably wise to try encouraging him to see his doctor. There might be a medical problem causing his mood swings and it won't be fixed without some kind of intervention.
Tell him how nice it would be if he could feel great every day just by taking a pill. That might get him to head to the doctor for a diagnosis. My parents divorced when I was a year old due to an affair, and I see him once a week, if that. He rarely asks me how school is going and how my friends are. My dad is angry with me simply because he says I think about only myself and not my siblings and that is so wrong. I love my siblings so much, and because of that he has started being rude to me and is just shouting and screaming and saying that he is not going to bother with me.
He says that I am ungrateful, but I am always grateful for what he can and cannot do for me. Ask your dad what his life was like when he was your age. If he makes a fuss about how hard it was, ask him what he did to cope. Try and get him to see that you need him to help you get through these difficult years. Talk to her about it. I do not hate my dad, but I hate my stepmom. She controls my dad, and I hate that. I hate that a lot. Your dad married another woman. I understand it is disappointing for you, but that was his choice.
Because I suspect she makes your father happy, even though you might not be seeing it. Either way, your dad has chosen to marry a woman you think is controlling. And yes, she may well be. It is good that he has a partner he loves who loves him. Even if she is controlling. Please respect their right to have the kind of relationship that makes them happy. If you are using drugs or alcohol to the detriment of your health, I could understand your father calling you an idiot.
He should be helping you instead of calling you names. His parents should have taught him to behave better than that. Try showing him and reminding him that you are responsible. Sometimes my dad is the best person in the world. I don't know what to do. He never actually hits me, but, I am worried that he might. My dad is a good dad, but not from the way I see it.
I am really close with my mom, and he is always making her do stuff while he does nothing at all. It is all about what he wants and what he does, and I hate it. He is so critical; always taking things too far. Never has he abused my mom or me, and I think my parents do love each other. I get so angry when he walks in the room because he always wants people to revolve around him.
You can see there are lots of good things about your dad, so he doesn't deserve to be hated. I can see that you don't like him being critical, and you think he wants to be the focus of attention, but that's not a good reason to get angry every time he walks in the room. I wonder if perhaps you are competing with your dad for attention, and you want the focus to be on you. That's pretty normal for a teenager, but instead of being jealous of him I think you should try and become closer to your dad. Surely you could give your dad some attention and then ask him to do something with you.
If it doesn't work, then just be grateful that you don't have the kind of rotten father most of the other kids who write her have to suffer with. Try and see the good things in your life. You're actually pretty lucky to have parents who love each other. My dad changed so much after my cousin came to live with us. He only associates with her, is so nice to her, and is so mean to me. When I say something to him, he always goes against me. Try talking to your dad and telling him how you feel. I'm hoping he just hasn't noticed he's treating you differently. Perhaps because your cousin is the visitor, he's trying to make her feel welcome.
But he's forgetting about you and that's not fair. Talk to your mother as well. Perhaps she can intervene and remind your dad he's not spending time with you or being as nice a dad as he used to be. Many of the issues would be the same in regards to mothers. It is not likely that I will write another article, but I can certainly answer questions about mothers on this one when asked. Ask them to help you. My friend and his wife were in a bad accident, and his wife died in his arms.
Now his kids won't have anything to do with him. What should he do? The kids are grieving the loss of their mother. Maybe they think their dad is responsible somehow for being on the road at the time of the accident, or for some other obscure reason. It seems unfair to make him feel guilty for surviving.
Was he drunk or on drugs? That makes no sense to me. You ask me if you should do something. Yes, I think you should. If you are frightened, tell people and ask for help. Please talk to adults who know you and your dad. If you think you and your brother are unsafe around him, insist you be allowed to stay with other family or friends.
I have to see my dad ever since my parents separated. My brother adores my dad. How should I tell him this? Telling your dad you don't want to see him anymore will no doubt hurt his feelings and might damage your relationship long term so I suggest you think about other ways to deal with the problems you are experiencing. It would be a shame if you later regret your actions, so let's talk about your relationship with your dad and consider a few options. It takes time for things to settle down after parents separate, and for kids to get used to the new 'normal'. When parents separate and divorce, you're in the process of making the move from one family unit to identifying with two families.
It feels sad and strange and it is normal for kids to apportion blame to one parent or the other. But life goes on and everyone is left trying to pick up the pieces. Your dad is trying to 'buy your affection', but at least he's trying. He hasn't pushed you away so you have to give him some credit for that when you think about him. I suggest you tell your dad you think it would be a good idea if he keeps spending time with your brother alone because he really enjoys it You'd rather spend a small amount of time just the two of you instead of with your little brother all the time.
That would give you a chance to have more mature conversations with your dad as you work to address any issues. It would also mean you don't have to be uncomfortable being on the sidelines with your younger brother. Don't forget to discuss this with your mother first, though. If she's not comfortable with your little brother being alone with your dad, she might want you to tag along. However I'm thinking it sounds like your dad is trustworthy enough, and your family is just passing through that difficult stage of no longer being a single family unit. I guess the first thing you could do is try not to be cheeky, but I know it is hard to be good all the time.
He takes it down at the end of the day and keeps a collection of his notes in a folder. Just wait for another day when you have something else to say. I had a beautiful foster daughter who had lots of things on her mind when she first joined my family at about ten. Sadly though, he might not be able to voice that to you. Or are you just angry about something else? You becoming a father had nothing to do with me, so you should blame yourself. If your dad keeps hurting you with his words, make a conscious effort to care less.
Never stop caring about yourself, and never stop doing your personal best. My father has relations with other women. I don't like this.
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Thus my home becomes a battle ground. How do I ignore it? Just remind him he chose to create a family with your mother so he has a responsibility to make sure you can both pay your bills But most kids welcome the changes if it means waking up to a peaceful home and going to sleep without hearing arguments. So do most adults. If you want to discuss this more or have any more questions for me, go to the Comments section at the bottom of this article. Sadly, children and families tend to be among the victims of the chaos and harm that comes with addiction to substances like meth.
My dad always nags me. He is really irrational, and thinks that he knows what I'm thinking. I try to explain things to him, and he either thinks there is something wrong with me or becomes even more irrational. It hurts me emotionally , and it happens quite often recently. You can give me more clues like your age and carry on the conversation with me in the Comments section at the bottom of this article, if you like. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. My father is a control freak, he does tend to abandon me, but another thing us he's not supportive of me.
I am bisexual and he's not okay with it. My dad is constantly in a bad mood that the takes out on my mom, myself and my brother. He's drunk most of the time and it makes everything worse. He is almost constantly making my mom cry because he takes out his anger on her. He's physically, emotionally and verbally abusive and I dont know what to do anymore.
My mom is the sweetest person you will ever find and I hate my dad for what he does to her. But she runs the house. My dad is always clinical, judgemental and no one can ever do anything right in his eyes. He's also a major control freak and we cant do anything without him knowing everything about it. Most of the time he just refuses to let us do it. I can't be a normal teenager because he refuses to let me have sleepovers or just go to my friends house in general. He's extremely judgemental over who I choose as my friends and make a lot of racial comments about them.
He constantly threatens us with violence and destroys our things. He keeps on saying he will divorce my mom, and my mom can go through with it even though she is at the end of her tether and can take anymore, because she need the financial support and has nowhere else to go. I hate him but I can even show it to him or it will get worse.
I've tried multiple times to explain to him that I need more freedom or what what he's doing is wrong but he won't listen. Nothing is ever his fault in his eyes, he cant do anything wrong. It's always someone else's fsut or someone else's problem. I dont know what to do. I'm 17 but have no way out. He's hardly ever there and when he is he's too tired or doesn't want to deal with us. And quite frankly we dont want to be near him but he to act like everything's fine or it'll get worse or start again. My father is just shit, always scold my mom even is his own fault also what ever i said is wrong but his one is too idk how to say.
Also, my father is like face freak out when he was mad and i was looking at his face like you scold me idc how much you want to say i just watch like a movie and even he scold me in car and i just open my music as loud as i cant hear his voice and he doesn't realize. I just hope i won't be a father like my father.
Also, his tablet charger is spoiled and he used mine for a hundred time and today is different, he used my charger and he told me to close before i go to sleep and i said sure then i said hwy dont you go buy a new charger then my dad said you are so selfish. I am a sophomore in high school and I hate my dad most of the time. He always gets mad at me for doing 1 itsy bitsy thing wrong.
He also gets mad at me for wanting to go to my moms house. He's been with 4 women excluding my mom and he still doesn't know why even though its obvious. When him and my mom were still together, he used to argue with her even though he was wrong. Sometimes I look into the things he's done good for me and I find a lot of stuff. I still do not know why I have mixed emotions about him. In a schadenfreude way, I feel so much better about my situation when I read the comments. My dad is very frustrating sometimes, but he in no way is a manipulative, abusive asshole like what some of these poor commenters have to deal with.
I'd like to say to everyone, especially those who are still living with their parents, that forgiving bad behavior and forgetting it are not the same. If your dad has wronged you, don't forget it happened. Just move on and take steps to protect yourself from the same hurt in the future. For me, that means avoiding emotionally charged conversations with my dad. If I'm depressing you, I won't share my feelings anymore. It still hurts, but I have protected myself from additional scars.
I wish everyone the best in dealing with their difficult parents. I know he is cheating on my mom and me and my mom both want to divorce my dad but he's the breadwinner in our family. My mom has a job but her income would not be enough for two. He often threatens me and my mom with money like whenever he's angry with us he'll just be like "I wont give you guys money anymore" and me and my mom would feel so threatened and scared.
Also my grandmother on my father's side is so mean to my mom. Whenever my mom talks bad about her, or even state the fact that the grandmother is kinda bullying her my dad would say that he will kill me and my mom and my mom's side of the family. My mom's side has always been nothing but kind to my dad's side but UGH. My mom gave up everything for that ungrateful selfish son of a biscuit and this is how he shows his gratitude towards her.
My dad gets on my nerves he takes my phone for no reason, and claims im ungrateful, and gets mad over the dumbest things ever. Sometimes he would say some things that get me so sad that I want to cry and even think about committing suicide. He is also strict on me like I can't even ask for a friend to come over or hang out with some friends because he's probably going to say no. There is a lot more things that he foes that makes me hate him so much.
I have a really complicated relationship with my father. He is aware that I hate him and that I don't like spending time with him, but he keeps trying to make me happy and when he doesn't get the response he is hoping for he gets really mad. He always asks me why I hate him, but I don't really have an answer to it. He keeps complaining that I'm always in a bad mood and don't appreciate the things he does for me, but I don't understand how he wants me to be happy around him when I just don't want a relationship with him.
I can't tell him that though because I don't even want to know how mad he'll get. I'm so tired of always feelings unhappy every time I'm around him. The saddest thing I've learned is how easy it is to make a kid love you. It takes an incredible amount of effort to make a child hate you. I never had a genuine hug from my step-dad. He never told me that he loved me, even though I've lived with him for over 15 years. I still feel like he's just a stranger living in my house. I've created a stronger connection with kids in 15 minutes, then he managed to create in 15 years.
That's so, unbelievably sad. I love my dad but he pisses me off. He gets on these political rants and becomes enraged if I don't parrot his opinions. He puts down my college education, even tho it was his idea. When mom or I are upset, he tells us to "relax" but if WE say it to him Like throwing chairs and punching walls are good coping skills. I don't drink when I'm angry because I watched how it affects him.
Whether intentionally or not, he makes me feel guilty for disagreeing with him. I have to remind myself that I am responsible for my own happiness and have the right to my own views. I am tired of confronting him when he pulls this crap, but I have become good at projecting a calm facade when I am screaming on the inside.
I am in college. I can't wait to finish my degree and move out. I know that he loves me and wants the best for me, but the way he deals with anger wears me thin. I must add to his credit, he admits usually the next day that he crossed the line and apologizes. I am a forgive but not forget Christian. I do not hold emotional betrayals over his head but I do not forget that they happened.
Fortunately this doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it's hell.
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When I'm stressed I throw myself into my work and pray, I don't marinate in alcohol and hurl abusive names at anyone I disagree with. If no one reads this, it still felt good to share. I just discovered this site and I love it. He also hits me whenever I forget to give something to him or when I made a simple mistake.
He also tries to make sure my mom isn't looking so he can hurt me. What can I do so he can stop abusing me? My biological father doesn't do any work. He's wearing a Rolex watch where he doesn't even know how to open an email, and don't even mention income. Every penny that he spends comes from my mother, who is working endlessly every single day. He is so embarrassing when we go out, for example he strips his shirt in Starbucks. I don't like it when he touches other women, so I'll react to that, but he'll just point and scold me in public. He makes my mother cry, and every time he is angry, he'll just walk away and treat our family like air.
My sibling and I don't even mind him leaving our family, but my mother is still hanging on to this marriage just because of us, the 'children'. My biological father and I just had a fight just now I tried to communicate with him but nothing worked. I'm grateful that he doesn't physically abuse us.. I don't mind if he doesn't care about our lives.. I just want a father who can set a good example for his children. And if you have children, they are saddled with heavy baggage of your doing. Your kids will spend years reading articles like this one, to try to heal from your parenting.
This is advice, not a question. Far too many women try to force their children's fathers to be very involved in their lives. That is not natural. Men do not relate to babies and young children like women do. Mother's should be doing most if not all of the child rearing and the children will be healthy and happy. Men should be relating to adults only including their own children when the children are older. They can, however, set a good example by living a good honest life so the children can see how they should be, but proper discipline comes from a woman.
Mothers who allow their children to be abused in any way should have their children removed from them and in some cases go to jail. He has abuse me but hitting me, Threatening me and using unkind words. I wish I had a new father. The only people who seem to love me is my brother, sister, Mom , and dog. What should I do in my life when this happens?? In addition to being abusive, absent, and perpetually angry, he failed to protect me from my psycho mother.
He failed to have a relationship with me, to know me. My psycho mother threatened to kill herself about once a week, and he got himself a traveling job where he wasn't home for 3 weeks at a time. There were no cell phones, and no other relatives I could turn to. Just me, the child, and my psychotic mother screaming that she'll kill herself because of me. I had no one to turn to. I had nightmares regularly, about my mother being dead and it being my fault.
I'd wake up in the morning, and my pillow was soaking wet, from crying in my sleep, and my eyelids so swollen my eyes wouldn't open. They just sent me to school. The sooner I'm out the door, the better. He never once asked why I cry in my sleep, just occasionally yelled at me for crying. He had no balls to stand up to his wife when she bullied him, and he did not grow a pair when it was needed to protect his child from his psycho bully wife. He told me once that if they are going to get divorced, it's going to be because of me.
He only said that once, but it's kinda hard to forget. His most common response to any of my requests or needs, was "I owe you nothing, you deserve nothing, you are not old enough to have rights". And his other gem, "I am not going to do anything for you, because nobody did anything for me".
But most of all, I hate him for not protecting me from the raging psycho that gave birth to me. I hate him I have this burning hate for him he treats me like dirt calls me names like satanic how do you call your child that and of all he has his favorite I'm just like an outsider I feel like I don't belong at all I hate him and that will never ever change I'm mentally traumatized I see other dads with their children and wonder if it was me how was I going to feel like I sleep on a pillow soaked with tears everyday I cry myself to sleep sometimes I feel like God is far away from me I hate him.
My dad emotionally abused me for as long as I can remember. When I was little I would call my mom when I was upset, which was usually because he was being a dick from screaming at me. After he caught on to this he ran around and took all the home phones so I was stuck crying in my room while he would curse me silently from the other room. He would curse at me and mirror shitty behavior constantly and is a constant source of stress in my house.
This other time he just left my mom at an abandoned gas station, then drove home. There was a drive-by shooting at that spot literally the next day. I fucking hate him. My father always beat me when i did some mistakes. If i does not get A Grade in school,he shout on me and beat me.
I hate my dad because he dont give respect to my mom. I have so many reasons why i hate my dad. I always want a good family: I hate it when father's abuse there children it is not ok and I will not except that in my house. My dad verbally abuses me all the time, it's like every time he opens his life he makes me cry. Its because of my attitude and tone problems. Please give me advice I'm a kid from an early divorce, back when I was three years old.
From there, I've gotten two stepmoms, one which was my mom's but is no longer, and one from my dad. At first when we lived together, everything was fine. The parenting for my dad and his wife was always, "I'll deal with disciplining my kids and you discipline yours. Most of these feelings of hatred, for both parents at home, really, began to really show their colors the first time when I tried to talk to them about being depressed but was told that I was just in an attention-seeking phase and that I didn't actually have depression at all.
I received no support until I had a breakdown in the car, because I missed the bus, and admitted to having suicidal thoughts and everything else. After I was in the hospital and returned, things were okay, but now we get down to the second problem that made me hate my dad. One of my siblings off of my stepmom's side was stealing my underwear and following me room to room when we were home alone, and he was just looking at me in a way that made me uncomfortable.
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Once I woke up on the couch and found him lifting up my shirt so he could look at my breasts. I just kept feeling more and more insecure and anxious about him, and I mentioned it to my dad and all he told me was that he was Lynn's responsibility and that if he tried to do anything to me, I could hurt him. But nothing was ever done to stop or discipline him and when I asked Lynn, all I was told was that she couldn't control him.
And when my discomfort with my step-brother acting like he was and saying things to me came out in the form of me snapping or acting rude to him, I was yelled at and I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself until he actually tried to rape me or touch me. Once again, I also became depressed and I tried to mention it, but was told not to talk to a doctor because if I mention how I was feeling, they were going to send me back to the hospital. It eventually got to the point where I almost committed suicide and my dad yelled at me about being ungrateful and a bitch and a huge brat and I eventually went to the hospital and told them not to tell my dad because I was afraid of him getting angry at me.
Now we're here and my main problems with my dad is that my stepmom now runs the house, and no matter what she calls me or says to me, he's always on her side about everything. He doesn't care about me and doesn't care what she says and it hurts my feelings to know that he doesn't care enough about me to protect me or at least try to understand how I feel. And I can't talk to him about my depression or anxiety because every time I do, he just yells at me about how I'm just acting like I am and how I'm, again, ungrateful for the food and home he provides for me.
I just feel like he hates me, and he's somewhat engaging in and letting my stepmom verbally and emotionally abuse me, and I hate it so much and I hate him too, and I honestly want to cut him out of my life as soon as I get out of high school. I really don't know what to do. But, I need to talk about something that I feel is wrong with my dad.
My father is worse than any other dads. He have been drinking for 15 years and he even make trouble in our house. He punches and he even punched my mum in both her eyes and she had a bruise in both eye but now it's better. He tries to take a knife and kill us and would talk about how he wants us dead and he is so violent.
He would complain when the internet is slow and would blame hs children and he said if he sees us using internet, he would beat us to death and he brage and swears so uch that even my 2 year old brother is now saying the f word. My dad even make trouble at night and it's hard for us to sleep. He haven't work or earned money for his family and he is so embarrassing in front of people.
He's eyes gets red and it's not even like he cried it's because he drank alchohol and he have made all 4 of his children cry. He said he doesn't care about us and he said just die and he uses really bad words. He would pull my mum's hair and try to punch her and he have even try to punch my sis and me. He didn't get me coz I dodge but my sis and my mum didn't. He is so rude and would blame everything on my mum and he would be like play my laptop to my brother who's 10now and afyer he would complain about the virusand all that. He is unbelievably rude and careless.
Sometimes he's fine but he drinks so much and would make trouble infront of our cousins who are still very young. Once he wanted money to buy alchohol so he brang 2 big knifes with him so my mum would give the money to him. My cousins were there and I felt bad for them.
Living with Mom and Living with Dad by Melanie Walsh
He is always yelling so loud whenever and te worst part is he did Karate so he knows how to fight and he could do really bad damages. But I'm not scared of him and would just stand there when he trys to punch me. Ge have made me cry 5 times and even when I cry, he still tries 2 hit me. He is very rude and he loves the internet and alchohol more than hs family and he won't live any longer.
He makes exuses to drink and he litterly wont ever stop. I dont careif he dies and I just hope he's not alive or in my sight on my birthday. His way of teaching me is supposedly good for me. He mostly talks about his mistakes in the past and fix them now. He often tells me to work hard now, for the family. I will have and will learn responsibilities in the future. He blocks my own time, and rather make me hang out with him. A cheating, lying father should not be forgiven. He has a duty to his child ren.
Bear and accept your responsibilities. Children are gifts from God. You are a weak cheating lying narc bastard. Go away and stop afflicting more pain. My dad emotionally and mentally abuses me, when I have mood swings, imapologise after come in and then he says something about me which forces me to run out crying and when I say sorry again he says he doesnt want to talk to me. I am an adult and my father has been verbally abusive all of my life. My mom and I were talking and he rudely talked over us to scold my mom for putting the coffee pot in the dishpan.
I pointed out that he interrupted us and our conversation. He tells me that he doesn't care. He's a horrible horrible man. This is just one example. I'm in my 30's and my dad still tries to mess my life up in any way possible. He's just a real jerkoff. Everything he says to me is negative. I'm never good enough unless I do exactly what he wants. Then he'll throw money at me like it's supposed to buy respect. He makes sure everyone knows about it too. His oppressive attitude has destroyed my ability to have normal relationships and he has my whole family tricked into thinking he's a great guy.
My dad roams out with a girl and he lies to me and my mom that he is at work. He replaces my quality time with that girl. I'm 12 and i dont know if this is normal or is it something to worry about. He also yells at me whenever he is tensed or angry and somrething else. He comes late from work. If that girl asks for money he just gives the money. But if i ask him something like a shoe or a good vacation the first reply is that we don't have enough money.
He and that girl roam to beaches, hotels etc. What should i exactly do at this point?? I am not sure. Can someone help me? My mom use to beat my mom up. And tried to make her life miserable I use to see my dad beating my mom up till the age I think 7 years have past and now I am 10 my father tries to use me as an spy and uses me to get what he wants he use to hit me also it's my culture where I come from parents hit their chilldren but it was with an wire though I don't wanna share too much personal information so I will leave it from there.
Draith, I suggest you start motivating yourself with the goal to leave your father behind you. Good grades, good jobs, good friends and an independent life away from your father should be your goals. The rest of you will have to stick together and support each other emotionally. One good thing that will come from all this hard work. However I do understand your frustration.
Perhaps you could ask your father how old your younger brother has to be before he starts sharing the workload so you can have some time to relax. Is it wrong that you feel like you hate your dad? Critical, hypocritical and formerly physical abusive, but that doesn't negate the fact it happened at a tender age of 10 being thrown into a fully metallic table headfirst.
And as far as my lacking research in psychology went, it seems to be also the same reason why I've developed more to be anti-social and completely unmotivated. He does not only make my mom crying but also he makes our family suffering!!! He does a traveling job and isn't home on the weekdays and when he's home on the weekends he makes me do so much work and gives me no freedom.
For my younger brother, it's a different story and he has the freedom to do what he likes. I already have good grades and I have lots of homework on the weekdays and when my dad comes home I have no time to relax. He pays all the bills and does things what I like but I still hate him. My dad is verbally abusive but I believe it is due to his severe bipolar disorder, not that that excuses his actions because he screams so furiously he basically speaks in tongues. He also compares me to my childhood friend who has always had good grades and always, without fail, undermines all of my academic achievements.
Please ask a trusted adult friend to help you. Do you have relatives you can turn to? I think I get what you mean when you say 'I'd rather not' and I want to assure you, you definitely shouldn't. Don't harm yourself because that's never a good solution to a problem. You say you want to kill yourself, but that's not true.
All you really want is for your father to stop humiliating you and making you feel bad. There's a lot of different ways you can address the issue of your dad being a disappointing father and we'll talk about them in a moment. First let's talk about the concept of suicide though, because it is something I've discussed with a lot of people over the years. I want to share a few thoughts with you. Nobody actually knows what happens when we die.
Different religions say different things. Some people think if they kill themselves they'll go to some kind of 'heaven' and everything will be great. Others think if they suicide they'll go to some kind of 'purgatory' and get stuck there. Others reckon that suicide takes a person straight to 'hell'. And I've heard some say they believe everything will just end and they won't have any problems any more. I'm not sure what you think will happen if you kill yourself, but one thing you should definitely know is that it will create a whole lot of different and much worse problems for other people in your life.
Think of your mother and how she'd feel. Think of your friends at school. You'd really mess up all their lives because they'd blame themselves for not spotting the problem and stepping up to help you.
Reasons Why a Child May Hate Their Dad
I don't believe you'd want to do that to people who love you, would you? Even if your dad continues being a crappy father and making you feel miserable, it would only be until you're an adult and old enough to leave home and exclude him from your life. As an adult, you'll have unlimited chances to have fun and success and feel happy all day every day.
You'll leave your unhappy childhood behind you. Unfortunately you'd deny your mother and your friends that same sense of fun and freedom. They'd be stuck with the sadness of your passing every year of their lives, and I'm sure you can see that's selfish. So for the sake of those who do love you, I'm trusting you to be a bit more resilient when it comes to problems with your father.
Besides, I don't know what really happens when we die I don't believe you can be certain everything would be 'great' for eternity if you opt out of life. So please, let's agree that's a bad idea. Now let's look for solutions to the real problem, shall we? The real problem is your dad humiliating you and how bad you feel when your dad says what he does. I'm going to tell you what I want you to do. And I don't want you make any kind of excuses about not being confident enough or anything like that.
Let's face it, you risk having your mother and your friends angry at you forever with your other idea I want you to sit at a table with your mother and father. Make sure you can all see each other. And then I want you to say I've been so unhappy I've been thinking of killing myself. I know that would be really unfair on you so I'm asking you for help. I need you to listen to my problems and take me seriously, because I'm in a really bad place right now.
And if you can't help me, would you please get me a counselor. Then explain how you can't cope with the things your father says. You need him stop. Say you understand he probably doesn't understand what kind of effect it has on you, but after so many years you're finding you just can't cope any more. I also want you to try and get a counselor who can help you become more resilient. You need to learn how to bounce back more effectively from disappointment. I honestly believe your father will try to change his behavior and be more willing to meet your emotional needs.
Of course we both know he's only human and may mess up every now and then, but you have to give him a chance to try. I'll always have time to listen to you if you want to write to me again. I'm more than happy to help carry you through the difficult times Stacy, your dad shouldn't be hitting you. Please don't ever accept that as 'normal' and don't ever get involved with a partner who treats you badly like that. You deserve to be treated with respect. I want to gently remind you that your friend was a witness to your father's abuse. That means your friend could support your story if you choose to report your father to the authorities.
I like to think you have some trustworthy adult in your life who can advise you and help you make a complaint about your father so he doesn't hurt you again. He puts me in school groups I feel uncomfortable in. If I have a bad grade he tells it to everyone and it makes me mad. He always yells at me when I mess something up. I feel better at school around my friends and it feels like a safe place. My mom is not harsh but does try to encourage me but my dad brags about me failing in a class and I want to kill myself. He never lets me have alone time and asks ridiculous things.
Can someone please help me? I am scared he will say something and it will be too late I hate my dad and the way he is. I can never word them right. About 6 months ago, I did something to myself and was sent to the hospital. My dad was there but not with me, he was outside of the room I was in. He was cracking jokes and flirting with the nurses outside. The best way I can explain one of my reasons is that he would humiliate me in public or in front of my friends. But Before my dad got home, I asked him if he could give my friend a ride home.
A couple minutes later I hear him pull up the driveway and so my friend and I came outside. I was getting ready to introduce him to my dad And before I could say anything, my dad spoke. Calmly he told me to go inside the house. Then he followed me in after. Then he kept on hitting me. He only closed the screen door so my friend heard the whole thing. The next day at school, I felt so uncomfortable around by him because I was embarrassed. When he gets mad at me, like 10 minutes later, he would act like nothing is wrong and would talk to me normally.
And he expects me to do the same. I would like to mention that he was the best dad a daughter could get until like 10 yrs from when i was born. But recently since 5 yrs he is been acting weird like hell weird. He left his job 5 yrs ago and was not able to find a consistent job since then. We have financial problems and some debt too.
He currently is not working and doesn't desire to work. My mom is a great wife and puts up with my father for our sake. As of me he just yells and never has hit me. He fights with my mother a lot for even very little matters but my mother forgets everything and acts to be happy. And now from past 2 days he is forcing my mom to have another child when he is not able to pay my tuition fees.
If in case the child born happens to be a girl then i m sure he would hate that child. I hate my father so so so much. Since I was kid I always get hit by my father, sometimes my mother too I think bcs she thought her husband get angry because of me. Undeniable I was naughty daughter back then years old cause I get to go hostel in 13 years old , I admit what that two people my parents maybe?
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