Painful Experiences are Opportunities for Growth

If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done, consider admitting it to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret, and ask for forgiveness — without making excuses. Remember, however, you can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time.

Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

Free E-newsletter

Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. Any use of this site constitutes your agreement to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy linked below. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only.

Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: This content does not have an English version. This content does not have an Arabic version. Healthy Lifestyle Adult health. Free E-newsletter Subscribe to Housecall Our general interest e-newsletter keeps you up to date on a wide variety of health topics.

Let It Go: 11 Ways to Forgive - Mindful

Letting go of grudges and bitterness When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward. By Mayo Clinic Staff. References Rakel D, ed. Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health.

Resentment And Forgiveness -- The Power Of Release To Revitalize Your Life And Work

Akhtar S, et al. Understanding the relationship between state forgiveness and psychological wellbeing: Journal of Religion and Health. Ferrell B, et al. Nurses' responses to requests for forgiveness at the end of life. As it was once said: Pause -- take a deep breath, then another and then another. Repeat until you feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins begin to simmer down.

If you have to remove yourself from the immediate surroundings temporarily to regain composure, do so if at all possible. Assess -- what are the true dimensions of the issue?

Who, what, when and how. Gather -- why did this happen, what are the possible solutions and the consequences of the various action steps? Involve all relevant parties as much as possible. Decide -- based on the above data, determine the appropriate next steps to resolve the issue and to prevent new ones.

Execute -- embrace the challenge with commitment and the comfort that you have assessed, analyzed and come up with the best solution.

Repeat any of the above steps as needed as you proceed; the situation can change and you have to be prepared to adjust to the circumstances. The healing is - understanding what you needed to learn from these painful events and then thanking these events and individuals involved for granting you the opportunity to heal yourself. Then and only then do we have the ability to move away from having to experience the painful lesson again.

Then, the other person is left with their dynamic of the lesson. The karma is theirs to deal with.

Let It Go: 11 Ways to Forgive

We are no longer enmeshed in the toxicity. Write out what this person did to you as you perceived it.


  • The Journey Back--B&W Edition;
  • The Past Life Connection.
  • Altern im Sozialstaat - Soziale Pflegeversicherung und Pflegeinfrastruktur in Deutschland (German Edition).
  • Alien Invaders 7: Junkjet - The Flying Menace?

Write out how you felt about these incidences. Make sure you really get into the feelings. Bring these feelings up, cry, yell, belt a pillow and make sure you totally get out the pain. This is totally important and by validating these feelings you will be able to take back your power. Now switch your awareness to a bigger picture perspective. The positive belief systems you have helped me create are I deserve respect', 'I am lovable simply for being me', 'I deserve respect, decency and honesty; etc.