But as we grew to know each other, our respect for one another deepened. Because you may not have realized it then, but you raised your little boy into the man of my dreams.
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Most days, my husband walks through the door at 5: He loosens the collar of his shirt, drops kisses on the heads of our children, and squeezes me a quick hello. He is steadfast and strong, a source of comfort and balance to my more excitable ways. He knows how to talk me down from the ledge of anger or resentment or fear with his calming words and quiet wisdom. You raised him to listen more than he speaks, to never snap to judgment or resort to anger, and to always be kinder than he feels.
How not to hate your husband after having kids
You raised him to be tender, to value every life, and to know the greatest gift he can give his own children is his time and unconditional love. His heart relentlessly pursues God as he leads our family in our imperfect walk with faith. He holds our babies in the pew on Sunday mornings as they clamor for his attention, hands them offering money to place in the plate every week, and spends late nights diving into the Word.
He tells corny dad jokes. Pays down his student loans without complaint.
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Makes a mean plate of spaghetti. Code believes today's children are troubled because they receive too much attention.
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Code believes that any worries parents have about their children are much more connected to their anxieties about their marriage than they realise. But when two parents drift apart, often one parent will drift closer to the kids," he said. First, it becomes harder to respect and enforce the boundaries that shape a child's character, so he simply badgers his parents until he gets his way.
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Future bosses and spouses may not be so patient with this behaviour. This draws even more attention to the problem, as parents seek a diagnosis and physicians increasingly rely on medicating children.
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What had been a molehill becomes a mountain, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that can cripple the child's development," he added. Competitive, intensive parenting is a modern trend that counts Kirsty Wark, presenter of Newsnight , among its devotees. But while Wark happily admits to having been a "helicopter parent ", the backlash has begun.
Psychologist Dr Madeline Levine recently claimed that children of over-involved parents are three times more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Over-involved parenting was a thinly disguised attempt to correct what had not gone right in the parents' own lives, she said.