Happiness has always been an abstract concept to me, something that was always just slightly out of my reach. And the happiness target was always moving, and most of the time I was barely keeping up. I spent so long looking for happiness anywhere I thought I could find it: Why was I doing what I thought was all the right things but still feeling empty?
Then, early last year, I started a small routine, insignificant almost. I started taking my contacts out when I got home from work. My eye doctor had advised me to give my eyes a break after being in front of a computer all day and so one night, when my eyes were particularly dry, I came home from work and took out my contacts.
And from there I started slowly adding to this routine: Previously, I had filled my time with anyone other than myself, desperately not wanting to be alone with just me. And I was doing anything to take up my time instead of just quietly being. He's rich, like, stupid rich. Your jaw will drop that she had enough time between swimming through piles of money to write this self indulgent crap. Her project includes all the things you would expect: These simple steps could be very enlightening if done by someone anyone but an upper east side yuppie could relate to.
I got through the cleaning out closets chapter fine. It's when the author had to start interacting with other people that it went quickly downhill. One particular story had me gobsmacked. It was her mother in law's birthday party.
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The point of the exercise was that she was supposed to do "proofs of love. So, she starts planning this shindig, whilst farming out tasks to everyone else so don't think this was a monumental accomplishment. Can you feel the love? Fast forward to the day of the party. Everything is going swimmingly. MIL looooves her party. She loves the food cooked by her son who is a private chef.
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So, the night went well? Love was proven, right? The author was feeling like her efforts weren't being recognized enough. Even though her MIL had a fantastic night no one stopped the party to golf clap her organizational skills. That is until her well trained husband, in the middle of gift opening, pulls out a gift for the author. Suddenly, all is well! The author stops pouting because finally it's back to being about her!
So, all in all I just can't with this book. But this one is getting tossed. View all 15 comments. Anyone who is looking to make personal change. Wow, when did I become so cynical and not even realize it? Just like Julia from Julie and Julia: However, this book helped me get out of my funk and become more creative. I didn't want to review this book until I tried my own "happiness project" because to be honest I was very sceptical about the results.
So, my personal j Wow, when did I become so cynical and not even realize it? So, my personal journey to getting back on track to being happier started in the LGA airport in the Hudson News Bookstore. My plane was delayed and I had finished my other book I had brought with. So, being bored and knowing I was going to sit there for a while, I purused the books at Hudson News. This is the one that spoke to me and I started reading it in the airport.
Most of the information isn't anything spectcular and it's all stuff that I already knew, but obviously I needed to hear it again for the millionth time, before it finally sunk in. I wasn't happy because I wasn't making time for the one thing that really makes me happy So, I decided to start my own project.
The first thing I did was clear the clutter out of my apartment.
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Not only did this make packing tons easier for my move to my new home, but it also lifted a mental weight that too much stuff can have over you and you'll not even realize it. This was a good first step for me. The stuff I didn't have use for I gave away or donated in hopes that someone else who does need it can. The second step was making more room for creativity every single day. I am really good at making time to read since I have an hour commute via train but I wasn't showing up at the page everyday to write and that really soured my mood.
So, I started a journal where I would write just a sentence every single day, even when I didn't want to, and you know what? Because I showed up and made the time for creativity, I started writing more than a sentence. I was writing paragraphs, and then pages. That made me really happy and for the first time in a long time I realized, I can do this! The third and final step and the one that's still a work in progress for me is spending money on unnecessary things.
I became addicted to internet shopping. It's really easy to do. I would just log on to some of my favorite sites: Etsy, Sephora, Groupon, Amazon and could order in an instant anything I wanted via my credit card. Pretty soon, I was in debt, and I had massive amounts of unnused products, books, and other things I didn't need. So, I stopped spending on the internet all together and bought only the things I absolutely needed like food and began to use up the things I had lying around. This made me feel happier, however, it's still hard for me to go into a store and say, "yes, this is a really good deal, but I don't need it.
Like Gretchen, I too just wanted to share my thoughts on this subject, and hopefully inspire others, not to do the same things I've done, but to find their own passion that will make them happier every day and grateful for the little things that we tend to overlook. View all 19 comments. Dec 05, Alea rated it it was amazing Shelves: I have no idea how to properly convey how I feel about this book. I felt so much for it and because of it and it's kind of crazy. I saw so much of myself in the author and some of the examples she explained, half the time I was sitting there dumbstruck.
She breaks down her resolutions in such a way it's very easy to follow along and she is so specific in how they work out you really can't ask for much more. Rubin writes in a way that it was very easy for me to relate to and understand. It's a rea I have no idea how to properly convey how I feel about this book. It's a real achievement how much research she did and how many information she is easily able to get across to the reader. Just her Happiness Project in general was a large undertaking but it seemed like so much fun as well. I actually feel happier just having read it and also trying out and noticing little things here and there about myself.
This is a book that I think will stay with me forever and one that's definitely worth a yearly read, I can not stop talking about it. I would consider it a must read for just about anyone. I found myself only reading a bit a day so I could draw it out longer, I didn't want it to end. It's funny that I've reacted to The Happiness Project so strongly too because originally it just sounded like a cute and fun memoir which is something I love to read, but it was so so much more than that.
You might think with it being a bit of a self help book that it could get preachy or be filled with boring clinical talk or charts and graphs but it's nothing at all like that. It's someone sharing their wonderful experience with great insight that is very easy to transfer to your own life. The Happiness Project is an achievement by the author and I would strongly suggest this book to everyone. View all 3 comments. I found it the epitomy of self absorbtion.
I've read many happiness books, often looking to use excerpts in my hospice speaches and volunteer training, but I felt this was so dumbed down. If you don't mind the constant references to her clerking for Supreme Court Justice O'Connor and her monied life and the mundane attempts at her "happiness project" you might be ok. Anyone who ever had any religious, marital of psych type of background, ie "Golden Rule", would be able to do this and probably al I found it the epitomy of self absorbtion.
Anyone who ever had any religious, marital of psych type of background, ie "Golden Rule", would be able to do this and probably already is. I didn't realize through the library's description it would carry you through one month at a time of her life. Hey, be kind, take your husband's clothes to the cleaners before he asks you??
Plan a super party for an inlaw, by gosh, just jump in and plan it and take control. Don't snipe at your spouse over stupid things for one whole month and you will feel happier.
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I realize she comes from a monied background and that doesn't influence my take at all. The book was shallow and just another version of I'm unhappy, it hit me one day, so I called my hubby outside his office and told him to look down at me while I waved because it made me happy type blog. This book was very 80's without the good advice. View all 8 comments. Nov 22, Melanie rated it it was amazing. This is not great literature. This is not earth-shattering or mind blowing in any way.
Yet somehow, underneath the veneer of light-hearted entertainment, this sneaky little book is filled with profound truths. It is also filled with extremely interesting bits of psychology and sociology research that are sprinkled throughout its pages, mixed with her personal journey and constantly evolving considerations. A study in self-empowerment if I've ever seen one.
A witty, self-examined life which bristle This is not great literature. A witty, self-examined life which bristles with good ideas and a contagious desire for self-realization that actually ends up radiating a stubborn, beautiful light. Often funny and self-deprecating, Gretchen Rubin made me think about many areas in my life which could use a little boost of "intention", and mindfulness.
And just for that, I'll willingly give her 5 stars. View all 6 comments. Jan 10, Jenna Copeland rated it really liked it Shelves: I'm not one of them-- while I don't think the book will change the mostly-good-already trajectory of my life, there were some nice insights and a swift kick in the rump to remember to enjoy life more and nag less. Absolutely worth my investment of time. Do be warned, though, that Gretchen Rubin is a classic Type A overachiever and this book is organized and written accordingly.
Being a gold star addict myself, I've gladly Wow Being a gold star addict myself, I've gladly written my resolution checklist and have it hanging on my wall-- full of happy little pencil marks. But, if you are a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person, this book may just annoy you a lot. My favorite criticisms that I've seen here and elsewhere use the life comparison argument: We all know that money buys you all the love and happiness you can ever need without one having to even lift a finger.
You may not have the time or resources to do all of the things suggested in the book and which wouldn't likely make YOU happy anyway but get inspired and what's the worst that can happen? You get a little more sleep or do that nagging chore or nag your spouse less or reconnect with an old friend. And all without the upper east side address. Apr 15, sleeps9hours rated it it was ok.
This was an inspiring book in some ways, but also annoying. The author admits that she is part of a new trend in books in which the author takes a year for self improvement. Over time the book dragged though. I was quite impressed with the plethora of quotes throughout she collects them , and tons of little ideas and research results I found interesting.
I had to get past the fact that her personal This was an inspiring book in some ways, but also annoying. I had to get past the fact that her personality seems a bit off-putting. Flawed can be more perfect than perfection. We are happy when we are growing. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating. View all 4 comments. Dec 06, Tina rated it did not like it Shelves: The most useful part of this book was when the author suggests not continuing to read a book you're not enjoying.
Apr 20, Diane rated it it was amazing Shelves: Oh, how I loved this book. I have read quite a few year-long project memoirs, but this is one of the most meaningful to me. Gretchen Rubin decided she wanted to be happier in her life, and, being an organized and thoughtful person, she devised a plan. Each month she would focus on one area of her life to improve, and by the end of the year, she should be measurably happier. The first month she focused on her energy levels, then her relationships, later she concentrated on being more successful in Oh, how I loved this book.
The first month she focused on her energy levels, then her relationships, later she concentrated on being more successful in her work, she also tried to be more mindful, etc. I found this book to be very inspiring, and I have adopted several of her methods. One of the key lessons I took away was that it's easy to fantasize about making your life more enjoyable, such as dreaming about winning the lottery and moving to the Carribbean, but the reality is that if you want to change your life, you need to find a way to do it here and now.
Don't get so hung up on the big things that you miss the small stuff — there are little things you can do every day that can help improve your life. Focus on those positive behaviors. I first read The Happiness Project several years ago, and since then I have pulled it down from the shelf several times to review a chapter, or to draw inspiration from Rubin's enthusiasm.
Her project won't work for everyone, but maybe you'll be inspired to try your own. Dec 11, Christy rated it liked it Shelves: I always like when authors narrate their own books, and Gretchen Rubin did a nice job with the audio.
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I listened to the book fairly quickly, it only took me 2 days. On the parts that related to my life, I can give an awesome star rating to. Unfortunately, a lot of the book had to do with parenting and other things not just ones own happiness and I found myself completely zoning out.
Still, it was a solid read and there are parts 3. Still, it was a solid read and there are parts of it that were insightful and I'll take away and use. Apr 18, Tasha rated it did not like it Shelves: All the navel-gazing of "Eat, Pray, Love" with none of the interesting commentary provided by other characters. Gretchen is the only actual being in her world; everyone else, including her husband and children, is merely a mirror reflecting who she thinks she should appear to be.
I'm convinced that the author wants to be happy only because someone else told her she should. I'm all for fluff reading, but this took it to a new level. The chapter on cleaning her closets yes, an entire chapter abou All the navel-gazing of "Eat, Pray, Love" with none of the interesting commentary provided by other characters. The chapter on cleaning her closets yes, an entire chapter about closet-cleaning did me in. Jun 14, Caroline rated it it was amazing Shelves: It involved following Gretchen Rubin in her year-long pursuit to increase the amount of happiness in her life.
I learnt a lot along the way, and often they were things I was not expecting to learn. I didn't agree with everything she tried - but then neither did she - some of her projects just didn't work out. But a lot of them did, and she has given us all a lot to think about. The book has been a great success, spawnin I enjoyed reading this book, it was fun and stimulating, and it made me HAPPY.
The book has been a great success, spawning a blog that loads of people seem to read and take part in, but the hype isn't just hype - I think she deserves the positive feedback. She takes a different topic each month of the year.. The main messages I got from this book about happiness? Blow doing anything you don't enjoy. If your real pleasure is collecting Cindy dolls - then just go for it, regardless of more highbrow pleasures that might turn other people on Try and work out what makes you happy, and then keep a resolution chart that will ensure that you actually DO the things that make you happy.
Rubin says that keeping a resolution chart was the very nub of what made this project successful for her. It ensured that she kept practising her new habits, or in Rubin's words "Accessibility to good ideas and practises makes it easier for the subconscious brain to access them.
Finally, the book ends with an excellent list of books for further reading. Happiness is a virtuous circle. Just 20 minutes exercise a day, 3 days a week for 6 weeks, will boost your energy. It makes you feel better and it gives you energy. Throw things away, but also create more filing and storage. You want stuff stored away, not stashed on surfaces. Tackle a nagging task: Studies show that one of the best ways to lift your mood is to engineer an easy success, such as tackling a long-delayed chore.
It can give you a dramatic boost. Act the way you want to feel: William James "By regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Practise enjoying their good habits. Try and keep cheerful. GK Chesterton "It is easy to be heavy: This is a phenomenon whereby we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills, relative to other people.
This again involves celebrating the good stuff about people around us. Tackle one subject at a time. Ease into arguments, don't just blow up immediately. Don't say "You always", or "You never". Be aware of how to bring an argument to an end, instead of keeping it going for hours. We need to SHOW love and caring. Pierre Reverdy "There is no love; there are only proofs of love". The experience of 'growth' versus achievement: Many researchers agree that it isn't achievement that brings us happiness, but rather GROWTH, eg training for a marathon, or learning a new language.
There is also the "hedonistic treadmill" whereby we quickly get used to new pleasures, so the good feeling wears off. An atmosphere of growth offsets that, that is why gardening is better than admiring your new dining room table. Novelty gives us pleasure.
We enjoy mastering new things. New things also enable us to expand how we see ourselves. The arrival of a goal often brings more work and responsibility eg having a baby or buying a house. Arriving at one goal usually reveals another, yet more challenging goal. The challenge therefore is to take pleasure in the 'atmosphere of growth'. Enjoying the now, without worrying too much about the future. I didn't take any notes from this section I have no children , but it was my favourite chapter in the book.
Rubin isn't the perfect parent, but sometimes she is darn good. She warmed my heart in this chapter. Studies show that we subconsciously catch emotions from other people, whether good moods or bad ones. Taking the time to be silly means we are infecting one another with good cheer, and people who enjoy silliness are a third more likely to be happy. Benefit of the doubt.
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We need to cut people slack when they appear rude or impatient. We don't know the things that may be going on in their lives. Familiarity breeds affection in most instances. The more see someone the more we like them - although obviously this doesn't apply in all cases. Studies show that people unintentionally transfer to you the traits you ascribe to other people, so if you gossip about someone being arrogant, that trait will also be ascribed to you.
Luckily it applies to positive things too. And if you complain a lot Samuel Johnson "To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy. Get involved in someone else's conversation, rather than just waiting for when you can speak up about your experiences. Being a know-it-all telling lots of anecdotes that show off your knowledge. Let me tell you about mine! I thought it was kind of boring. Looking for ways to contradict what someone says. Goody goody two shoes: Try having a Pollyanna week.
You may well not do it perfectly, but it's a great exercise. In many way Pollyanna-ish behaviour is good, and cheers everyone up. View all 20 comments. Aug 19, Sarah rated it did not like it. For fun, someone should do a search through this book to see how many times the phrase "studies show that" actually appears. The entire book reads like a college term project written by a self-absorbed teacher's pet.
The author readily admits to being the type of person who always wants a "gold star" for her efforts. She strikes me as the type of person who plays everything by the book - from graduating from Yale law school to clerking for Justice O'Connor, so it makes sense that she would tac For fun, someone should do a search through this book to see how many times the phrase "studies show that" actually appears. She strikes me as the type of person who plays everything by the book - from graduating from Yale law school to clerking for Justice O'Connor, so it makes sense that she would tackle happiness as just another project to be ticked off the list and approach it from the chart-making, resolution-keeping perspective.
Yet, she seems to yearn for some adventure, which it appears she believes she's at least partially achieved by "discovering what she loves" and making the decision to quit lawyering and become a full-time writer. Isn't that such a crazy and wild thing to do? Personality quibbles aside, I really hated this book. I tried to read it twice. Both times, I was struck by the mechanical tone and formulaic "how tos" of happiness achievement: Go with the flow!
One gets the sense that Ms. Rubin is gallantly trying to break free from her rigid, type-A personality, for which she deserves some credit, but it just comes across as play-acting for the sake of keeping her resolutions I. OK, personality quibbles not aside. Ultimately, she fails to convince me that any of these "how-tos" have anything to do with happiness at all. Rubin's perspective, it appears as though happiness is an relatively achievable goal - something you set your mind to, grit your teeth and, armed with plenty of charts and lists, set out to achieve. It's pedantry disguised as seeking and true insight.
You are the first person in history to both discover the meaning of happiness and achieve it. I won this advance copy book through the Goodreads Giveaway and could not have been more stoked! I am always creating lists and goals and things to improve my life. I feel like books, songs, movies always have a way of finding me when I need them most. I just quit my job because I was way too miserable and I have been home for the past few weeks feeling extremely unhappy and like my life was just miserable. This book was just the inspiration to want to change my situation and bring about more ha I won this advance copy book through the Goodreads Giveaway and could not have been more stoked!
This book was just the inspiration to want to change my situation and bring about more happiness into my life. While I am an adventurous soul and loved reading memoirs by people who go do extreme things to find themselves and change their lives ie Eat, Pray, Love. This is not a luxury I have and I liked Rubin's idea of not wanting to reject her life but wanting to "change her life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen.
Sure, I would love to go gallivanting off to other parts of the world to find myself and make myself happier but that is just not a reality and I'm just not sure it would teach me how to live my normal life. I loved the questions that the author asked of happiness and how she approached what happiness is and if she believed it was possible to make herself happier. I liked that she was honest about really being a happy person in general and admitting that her life has been pretty easy.. She just wanted to see if she could bring more general happiness into her life and, if did disaster did strike, would it be an enduring and embedded type of happiness that would help her through something.
I absolutely loved the setup of each section. It went month by month. She talked about each of the resolutions she made for that month and talked about her struggles and successes. She was often times humorous and also very observant. I loved the research she did pertaining to happiness and how she used these ideas to figure out ways to her own happiness. I like how she emphasizes that everybody's happiness project would look very unique. Different things make different people happy.
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I didn't always agree with some of her conclusions with her own resolutions but I appreciated the research she did and that it was HER happiness project with HER own results. I'm always skeptical of "self help" type things or 25 ways to happiness deals. I don't think there is a formula to happiness or peace or success. That is what I liked about Gretchen's book. She wasn't trying to say.. Here is the exact method by which you will be happy!
I was certainly inspired by her happiness project and I am planning on starting my own in January The author has a blog too that is chocked full of great advice and if you go back far enough it shows her journey throughout the happiness project. The blog really shows her actually going through with it. The book is the outcome and the reflection. I actually emailed her to get her resolution chart to see if it's something that might work for me or if I should create my own. She is extremely gracious and incredibly enthusiastic about inspiring and motivating other people to their own elevated happiness.
I'd definitely recommend this book if you are finding yourself increasingly unhappy.. This book got mixed reviews, but I liked it. It was realistic, very readable, and not exploitative of developing cultures like some of these other "Go find yourself " stunt books cough cough Eat,Pray cough cough. Rubin is up-front about the fact that she comes from a white, upper-middle class, happily-married, securely employed New York lifestyle that makes it seem a bit narcissistic for her to go out searching for yet more happiness when she has so many advantages compared to so many other peo This book got mixed reviews, but I liked it.
Rubin is up-front about the fact that she comes from a white, upper-middle class, happily-married, securely employed New York lifestyle that makes it seem a bit narcissistic for her to go out searching for yet more happiness when she has so many advantages compared to so many other people.
And yet, I found myself agreeing with her. For example, why is it that so often people assume that if you're a happy positive person you're automatically less intelligent? This will be the last time I make a disclaimer at work for being addicted to fantasy with elves and dragons and trashy paranormal romances! I am a university English professor and I have a masters' degree and yeah, the classics are great but I like what I like, and will continue to recommend it to my students along with Hemingway and Salinger and the Bronte sisters.
I do not intend to follow all of Rubin's suggestions. I refuse to accept, for example, that as a mother it is MY job to "be a treasure-house of happy memories. My Self would rather wake up late on Christmas morning to find that the husband and kids got up early and decorated the tree. I highly recommend this book. The writer can actually write, and all of us can find some useful suggestions or at least food for thought here.
View all 10 comments. Jul 24, Erin rated it it was amazing Shelves: Totally want to start my Happiness Project. Gretchen Rubin, happily married mother of 2, had a realization while sitting on a bus that she was letting her life pass her by without fully appreciating it.
Being a writer, she decided to research the origins, psychology and elements of happiness and develop her own Happiness Project, a month experiment each month around a theme like "love", "work" "energy", etc with carefully measured goals and resolutions to see if she cou Inspiring! Being a writer, she decided to research the origins, psychology and elements of happiness and develop her own Happiness Project, a month experiment each month around a theme like "love", "work" "energy", etc with carefully measured goals and resolutions to see if she could be a happier person, better wife, better mother, better woman.
I enjoy self-help stuff when it doesn't sound too preachy, and Rubin finds a really nice tone to her book that made it compelling, human, not preachy, and honestly kind of charming. She is pretty honest and open about when things worked and when things didn't quite, the fact that she can be kind of a pill I can relate! I think most people can relate to wanting to do new year's resolutions, but never holding on to them, and she counters that by using her resolution chart and holding herself accountable. I think what I liked most about it was that she had to learn to "Stay Gretchen" some things work for others and not for you, and that's ok , and that she wanted to change her life without changing her life she couldn't move to Africa, for example, but wanted to make small, manageable changes she could keep the rest of her life.
That spoke to me--I don't know that I'll stay where I am forever, but I think I'll be where I am at least for another year, and want to know that I've really started to pay attention to where I am right now and made a few positive changes. She is quite honest about how this could sound self-absorbed or self-indulgent, but she disagrees in general and believes backing that up with research that happier people are more productive, more generous, more thoughtful, etc.
I'm definitely intrigued and inspired to plan my own Happiness Project. More info on her blog here: This book will be more useful if read as a Self-help book, and not a memoir. If you are willing to take the blame, people will give you responsibilities. It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light. Do good, feel good ; feel good, do good.
Jan 07, Jennifer rated it it was ok. I used to pride myself on finishing every book I started -- no longer. I read it all the way through and wish that I had actually "Been Gretchen" for a brief moment. I really liked the concept of the book and of the project; however, I found it to be less inspiring and much more annoying than I would expect a book like "I did, however, vow to stop reading books that I didn't enjoy.
I really liked the concept of the book and of the project; however, I found it to be less inspiring and much more annoying than I would expect a book like this to be. From the constant, uncited references to "resources" to the quotes from obscure researchers, from the reader responses to the author's blog to the supposed word-for-word conversations between the author and others in her book, I found the book to have a very contrived feeling that left me rolling my eyes and sighing with irritation.
I felt the author contradicted herself continually throughout the book, used references to support her opinions NOT research while ignoring those that she didn't agree with, all to make a point Yes, I'd like to be happier in my life. Yes, I think Rubin had some good ideas on how to do that although how original those ideas are is questionable. No, I don't think reading her book gave me any more insight into being a happier person than what my own common sense has told me over the years.
Instead, I would go so far as to say that this book likely made my life a little less happy because I don't find reading someone's grumbling and whining all under the guise of "maximizing happiness" to be particularly uplifting. Jan 08, Gina rated it it was ok. Natasha's review of this book is perfect. I think Natasha should re-write The Happiness Project and then it will truly be a project about happiness. I felt that I knew what the book was about and that I could have written it but now that it was written by someone else, my idea for a self-help book was taken.
I said I was "depressed" Natasha's review of this book is perfect. I said I was "depressed" as a humourous play upon the title of the book -- it seems counter-intuitive that a book about happiness would make someone depressed, right? Except now that I have finished reading the book, the joke's on me: I actually am depressed about it. It was a sad read, in parts, because it was abundantly clear to me that the author doesn't really understand the secret of happiness.