Life without it

As a result the church needs to ignore the giggles and start rehabilitating the concepts of celibacy or singleness and chastity or sexual self-control. We need to articulate the benefits of a celibate life for some and to encourage chastity for all.

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Or, to put it another way, we need to start reading our Bibles again. For it is hard to see how the Bible could be any more positive about the celibate life. Its central character, Jesus Christ, was single and yet is held up as the only perfect human being ever to have lived. In Jesus you see life to the full — and his was a human life without sex. And then, of course, there is the example and teaching of the apostle Paul.

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Would he have been able to make any of his missionary journeys if he had a wife to care for? Would he have been such an effective pastor of churches and mentor to young church leaders if he had his own young family? He clearly expresses the benefits for the gospel of his celibate life in 1 Corinthians 7 and we need to start promoting similar thinking in our churches today. We need to listen to both Jesus and Paul when it comes to the subject of chastity. All Christians are required to be sexually self-controlled, and the need for it both outside and inside marriage needs to be stressed again and again in a world in which we are all too often encouraged just to follow our feelings.

Love is not just communicated by the sex one has had, but by the sex one hasn't had. We also need to remind ourselves that our sexualities can be valued by self-control as much as by sexual intercourse. It is true of the newly converted same-sex attracted woman who stops sleeping with her same-sex partner soon after becoming a Christian — out of her new love for Jesus. It is also true of the same-sex attracted man who remains a virgin until his dying day — out of his love for God too.

And the power of our sexual feelings can, amazingly enough, be valued most when they are most painfully experienced. The language and imagery of sexuality are the most graphic and most powerful that the Bible uses to describe the relationship between God and his people — both positively when we are faithful and negatively when we are not. If I were not a sexual being I would not get them and so him at all. That will mean lots of sex for some, and none for others — but both are different ways of appreciating an incredible part of what it is to be human being, created in the image of God.

All human beings long for intimate, self-giving relationships with others, and lives without sex would seem to deny them the satisfaction of this very basic need. Such thinking far too common in our churches where the nuclear family can be the only focus of attention is not biblical. Tim Chester is provocative but correct when he writes: Every time Jesus talks about families he sees them as competing for loyalty to him and his community. So to deny someone sex is not to condemn them to a life without intimacy and full of loneliness.

Loneliness will never be entirely absent it is not absent in the most successful marriages and nuclear families but intimacy can be there in close friendships and your church family. Neither Jesus nor Paul as single men was devoid of relationships. Lists with This Book. Still, food is the stuff of memories, and it is what binds her to two strong characters: My favorite anecdote is about Bud meeting his future mother-in-law: Grace presented him with shrimp which he had never seen before and refused to eat on one occasion, and a ham taboo for Muslims on the other.

The dishes were a perfect metaphor for what would become an always combative yet jovial relationship. Although roughly chronological, the book comes across as slightly unstructured, especially in the later chapters. And no more sugar.

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Even if offering something sweet out of an oven feels almost exactly like doling out love. View all 7 comments. Jan 13, Jenny Reading Envy rated it really liked it Shelves: I have read almost every book Diana Abu-Jaber has written so far; this started with a friend's recommendation of Crescent back in library school.

This is her second memoir, chronicling more about her adult life - three marriages, adoption, aging parents, career moves, trips back to Jordan, etc. It is the logical continuation of The Language of Baklava: A Memoir , a memoir I enjoyed more than her fiction! Her father Bud continues to be as central of a character as ever, particularly in his relatio I have read almost every book Diana Abu-Jaber has written so far; this started with a friend's recommendation of Crescent back in library school. Her father Bud continues to be as central of a character as ever, particularly in his relationship opinions and grandfatherly duties.

Thanks to the publisher for letting me read it early! Jan 26, Maureen rated it really liked it Shelves: I saw a meme the other day on FB that talked about how sometimes when you finished a book you wished that the author was your good friend and you could call him or her up anytime and talk about anything.

How can you live life without sex?

This is that book. I go back a ways with Abu-Jaber. A Memoir , set there in part, was a community-wide read in my hometown, culminating with a reading from her at our local community college. I went on from there to read some of her fiction, including Crescent , which was outstanding, and Origin , set back in Syracuse, a place that was both familiar and mysterious with her treatment. Her writing resonates with me in a way few other authors have managed. Her ethnic experience can't be that different from millions of other Americans, in fact I imagine it must be similar in some ways to the experience of my aunt by marriage's Greek family that settled in Syracuse.

But she describes something exotic, something the rest of us will envy. She writes about her journey from ambivalence toward parenthood through a positively gripping 48 hours waiting to learn if her wish will be granted, to the first wondrous days of becoming a family. I miss my own mother; more pointedly than on any given day.

I want to ask her more detailed questions about their emotional journey to becoming parents. I have the facts I curse my horrible memory; I want to hear the family stories one more time, to know I must commit them to memory. I'm jealous that the death of her father was a process, a slow unraveling, not a sudden tearing apart. Most of all, I am enthralled by the life that her prose gives to feelings, thoughts, even the smallest details of every day life.

They come alive; I think I can feel what she feels, see what she sees. It is exactly the place. I suggest you take the trip with her as well Feb 17, Lolly K Dandeneau rated it really liked it. I spent so much time highlighting sentences.

This is one of my favorite short lines. I admit, I was expecting non-stop kitchen stories and this is not that type of book. It is a journey- every bit of her from her limbs to her soul p Gorgeous. It is a journey- every bit of her from her limbs to her soul pulled in many directions, exceeding expectations, loving and aching, losing and gaining- the recipe for a life.

Her honesty into her marriages who refreshing. Particularly this "Though I'd already half-guessed it, already half-involved with someone else myself, I felt clobbered, a frying pan to the gut. If her fiction reads anything like her memoir, I am on board! It has moments of heartbreak and beauty, laughter and joy, family- always family.

I received this book through a Goodreads Giveaway. I was pleasantly surprised by this book. The author brought me into her life, and her experiences, in a very real way. Feb 08, Taryn Pierson rated it liked it Shelves: Abu-Jaber writes about her complicated relationships with her German grandmother and Arab father, who were almost always at odds with each other and influenced her life in equal, if competing, ways. It's also the story of her roundabout route to marriage third time's the charm and motherhood domestic infant adoption when she was well into her forties.

This is the kind of memoir that's less a recounting of events than it is a smattering of reflections on life. Abu-Jaber's voice is charming, but I didn't come away with any big revelations or experience any of that memoir-catharsis I so love. Feb 20, Janilyn Kocher rated it it was amazing. I received a copy of this book through net galley for an honest review. I adored this book. It's heartwarming, endearing, and insightful.

The author throws open the doors of her life for a reader's introspection with no apologies. I enjoyed her depiction of her father, who was obviously a character. Her diverse background was intriguing to explore as she shifts back and forth between her inter meshed cultures. This is a great read. Mar 10, Patty rated it really liked it Shelves: I'm a big fan of Abu-Jaber, which is why I scooped up this book immediately on finding out that it existed.

It's a memoir of her life, tied together by frequent referrals to food. There's not really a single topic or focus here; much as the title suggests, it's a meandering path through Abu-Jaber's life, covering subjects as diverse as the contentious relationship between her single, American, Catholic grandmother and her sociable, Jordanian, Islamic father; her own history of romantic relations I'm a big fan of Abu-Jaber, which is why I scooped up this book immediately on finding out that it existed.

There's not really a single topic or focus here; much as the title suggests, it's a meandering path through Abu-Jaber's life, covering subjects as diverse as the contentious relationship between her single, American, Catholic grandmother and her sociable, Jordanian, Islamic father; her own history of romantic relationships, good and bad; her decision to have children, the realization that she biologically can't, the adoption process, and finally the experience of raising a daughter; and the death of several close family members.

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This lack of plot makes the book move slowly at some points, since there's nothing really to drive you on to the next page, but it was redeemed for me by Abu-Jaber's gorgeous prose, which can be heart-breaking or deep or simply funny. For example, this passage: The mixer purrs, whirling around the careful minutes. From her stool, she watches closely. The room smells like a bloom of sugar and cocoa. She creeps into the kitchen, points at the top cupboard. At her party, she is briefly shocked by the singing and candles. High-chair—bound, she receives the first fascinating slice.

She considers it for a long moment, then picks up a hunk. She stops suddenly, staring, motionless. Then all at once, all the cake is going into her mouth. Her face is covered in chocolate; she lifts fistfuls of cake; there are chunks in her hair. She is a sugar priestess. Her fist waves in the air, face thrown back, mouth open, as if to say All chocolate is mine. A good book if you're in the mood to drift along with a thoughtful, insightful narrator. Dec 15, Whitney Page rated it it was amazing. Sad and haunting, a look into a writers real life, dealing with loss, attachment, the ordinary things.

May 13, Ietrio rated it did not like it Shelves: When you look at this book - it looks short. When you start reading it - it looks long. The text is clear, but the many ornaments of the text muddy the whole information making me turn the pages faster towards the next chapter, hoping it to be better than this one. A book dedicated to a child and a grandmother. Only to read that the wonderful grandmother is not very intelligent and does good things to the family like self medicating with strong alcohol, including the children.

Life without technology

So much for good p When you look at this book - it looks short. So much for good parenting skills in the family. But what is this book about? It resembles a biography. But it is badly structured and most of the biography feeling is from the chronology. Than I get on the biography of the author. A girl that was too proud to go about in life without a college degree. But had no idea what to do. Only English is the path you take if you want to bury yourself in the educational system. Which she does not want to. So a magic wand changed English into Creative Writing. Meaning it is the same burial ground, only some yards away in the adult education section where people with pipe dreams of becoming writers come to other uninspired people just like them.

And you need books to prove that you are qualified. So here's the proof Diana needed to enroll the minimum number of adults for class. Mar 30, Kate rated it it was amazing Shelves: I love Diana Abu-Jaber's books. They are beautiful, contain these wonderfully descriptive sentences and will make you hungry for days. This is a memoir about food and family, like her previous "Language of Baklava. I highly recommend this for Abu-Jaber's fans and even those who have not yet read one of her books. It is just lovely. Feb 17, Michelle Arredondo rated it it was amazing Shelves: There is hardly a memoir that I don't like This memoir is seriously a wonderful one.

I just really enjoyed it. I am placing this book on the shelf of my faves. I want to spotlight this book with a more thought out review on my blog eventually so I don't want to get into too ma I've mentioned before that I LOVE memoirs I want to spotlight this book with a more thought out review on my blog eventually so I don't want to get into too many details on here I don't think there was anyone she wrote about that I did not like but with certainty I can say I absolutely adored her father.

Being a wonderful quirky dad So much mention of good food Many of my childhood memories involved weekends with my grandfather and his wonderful BBQ chicken There were tears, laughter, anger, sorrow, and faith in this book. I had all those emotions reading this and some. A fast paced book that you want to force yourself to slow down just to embrace fully.

Life Without a Recipe by Diana Abu-Jaber

I look forward to writing a longer much deserved review on my blog soon. It took me forever to get this review out.. I love that about a good book. YES, I highly recommend this book. Thanks to the wonderful peeps here at goodreads for my free book in exchange for an honest review to which I gladly and voluntarily gave.

Apr 11, Victoria Allman rated it it was amazing. Having fallen in love with Diana's writing and her grandiose real-life characters in The Language of Baklava, I was thrilled to see them continue to be portrayed in Life Without a Recipe. Who could not love Bud when he is so lovingly portrayed in scenes like: He nudged Gram in the ribs; as if she were in one the joke, and, instead of writing his name, wrote: I make no promises. The othe Having fallen in love with Diana's writing and her grandiose real-life characters in The Language of Baklava, I was thrilled to see them continue to be portrayed in Life Without a Recipe.

The other return character is Grace, Diana's grandmother, who advises her: Never learn how to sew, cook, type, or iron.