But things are not as simple as that in your head. You have all these thoughts in your head, all these feelings in your chest, all these emotions in your heart. I am sorry you are going through this. The purpose of this article is to help you process all the thoughts in your head. To help you figure out what you want from her and life in general.
I will be a little more detailed than that. But I will ask you that you take action on what I say here. Unless you take action, your mind will keep running in circles trying to figure out what you should do after your girlfriend cheated on you.
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Before we get into what you should do, there are two things that you should not do right now. Your anger is understandable. But abusing her and calling her names is not going to help anyone. She will respect you more if you keep a check on the name calling and saying things to hurt her. But there is no point in letting that anger turn this into something ugly. It will not make you feel better. It will not make her feel better. It will not fix anything. It will not help save your relationship and it will not help end it.
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A lot of guys become too needy or desperate after they find out their girlfriend cheated on them. This is again a wrong move and it will get you nowhere.
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It will make your ex lose respect for you and you will regret it later on. In my experience, if you are going through this, you probably fall in one of these three situations. Infidelity is a very serious issue and very few couples are able to get past it. This is why you hear pretty much everyone tell you that you should leave her and move on. But you may be one of the rare cases where it makes sense to try to save the relationship. So how do you decide if the relationship is worth trying to save?
The first thing you need to do is take some time off. You have been betrayed by the person you love. Your mind is probably panicking and does not know how to process this betrayal of trust. Whatever you are feeling right now is not only painful but also confusing. A part of you wants to save the relationship and the other part just cannot see how you can ever trust her again.
So, your first step should be taking some time off from her. Find a safe place for yourself. Tell your girlfriend something like,. A part of me wants to and a part of me wants to leave you. I need some time to think things through. When you stop contact with your girlfriend, you will go through a lot of emotions. You were betrayed by someone you trust and love. Your mind and your thoughts will be all over the place.
Take your time to process everything. Speak to your friends and family. Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you. The important thing is to not take any decision out of fear or anger. Whenever you feel scared of losing her or angry at her betrayal, remind yourself that these are emotions that will pass with time and there is no need to make a decision fast. When you are feeling calmer, you need to start thinking about it from a different perspective. Try to figure out what are the pros of trying to save the relationship and what are the cons.
In a lot of cases, your girlfriend will cheat on you because she was unsatisfied in the relationship. I am not saying this excuses her behavior. But this does give you an opportunity to wake up and fix a lot of unhealthy issues you may have. A very common issue that most guys have is neediness and insecurity. They fall for a girl just because she agreed to be with them.
They put one girl on a pedestal and shower her with affection. As a result, the girl feels less and less attracted to the guy and eventually cheats on him. The root cause of this neediness and insecurity is often lack of confidence. This lack of confidence is usually around girls. To be frank, I think your brain needs to shut the hell up with all the negative talk. As I mentioned before, this lack of confidence and fear of never finding someone else is not the right reason to give it another shot.
When a girl you love hopelessly asks you for a favor, you will probably agree to go to the end of the world for her. When a person who betrayed you asks you for a favor, you will probably want to tell her to get lost and never contact you again. But what would you do if they are both the same person. And this time, she is asking you something that is even harder than going to the end of the world.
Cheating – Why Not Just End the Relationship?
Even if you both do everything right to try to rebuild the trust, there will always be a bit of resentment inside you for her actions. Your instinct might be to call her a slut, a whore, a bitch or a prostitute.
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But no good will come from it. You will only regret it later on. Does she regret cheating on you? I decided to start therapy after the last incident. But I thought that after the first time. I have a pretty difficult relationship with both my parents, but especially my father, who for my entire life has had a romantic relationship with another woman besides my mom.
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Though my parents remain married, my dad spends much of his time with this woman, even going on vacations with her. We rarely talk about it in the family, though everyone knows. I never want to be my father and ruin my family the way he has, but I worry that seeing and experiencing all of this as a kid somehow screwed me up for life.
My Girlfriend Cheated on Me – What Should I do?
I also think that some of this is about validation. I never really felt loved or supported by my parents who have always been really hard on me. I know deep down they love me, but they were sometimes outright mean to me as a kid and would even call me stupid. I worry that the love and support I needed then is now being satisfied by me going out and getting attention from girls.
I know all of this probably makes me sound like a huge jerk, but I promise you I love my girlfriend more than anything. I want to marry her someday. But I know if I do this again, it will be the last straw. Please, how can I prevent this? What else can I do? What is wrong with me? Will I be this way forever? When I sat down to respond to your long letter, my first thought was, I need to edit this down.
In the same way that people in therapy might take a while to get to the point, I wanted to get to the crux of your question. But there was a problem: If you and your therapist were already exploring all of the questions you asked in your letter, what, I wondered, were you asking of me?
I could help you to unpack the terrible dilemma you face in being torn between protecting your mother from heartache and protecting your girlfriend from heartache — and allow you to see how the rage and resentment you likely feel at being obliged to make your mom feel safe might get played out in making your girlfriend feel unsafe by not being faithful to her. And I could point out that chasing guarantees will get you nowhere: