My goal is to notice Victoria but gain the wisdom and courage to let Lissa-nanda make my decisions and operate my life. Which, trust me, is easier said than done. Last week I was at a conference, and Victoria was in her element. But she does let slip the kinds of things only someone intimately acquainted with these important people would know.
Noticing how Victoria was acting left me feeling guilty and juvenile. This realization made me more aware of how Victoria shows up, not just at big public events, but almost anytime I talk about other people. She shows up as gossip. When she feels threatened, Victoria winds up badmouthing people she adores, criticizing people who light her up, and generally acting like a high school mean girl dressed up in spiritually evolved clothes. But trust me on this. Such behavior erects a barrier between me and the people I love the most.
After all, if I might turn around and bad-mouth you to someone else, I eat away at your trust in me. She was out of luck. I am not proud of having had either of these thoughts when instead I should have shown compassion. Truth be told, what you say about others says alot about you. None of us like to be judged, myself included.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. Expect Miracles Denise Pelletier is an Advocate, writer, professional speaker, Human Resources Professional, traumatic brain injury survivor and thriver.
The lesson I learned about judging others
Comments Such a great article and a poignant closing statement by Wayne Dyer. Leave a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Learn as if you were to live forever. I've just found 10, ways that won't work. Free Updates Subscribe now to get my regular blogs as well as the occasional newsletter when I have something important worth sharing.
Your Information will never be shared with any third party. I was so not that parent that needs to talk to the teacher every day. I hate having to be that person now. Sometimes I lose faith in human beings but I like to think the majority at least are good natured. That poor family though and a good reminder for everyone not to be too quick to judge. Much as I often object to random quotes on social media, I always like this one: We are quick to judge when we should be kind. My daughter has recently been diagnosed with a serious kidney condition and is only at school part time.
On a good day, there is nothing about her appearance to suggest she is ill and imagine people who see her out of school wonder why a 10 year old is not in class. Of course we should challenge those who we perceive to be taking advantage of something unfairly. Of course we should. But it makes sense to try to understand why people behave as they do, before we decide they are chancers, I think. Sorry to hear about your daughter Helena, I hope she is doing well.
I have been totally guilty of judging others in the past and I am sure people have judged me too, I guess it is natural. I have been judged so many times and it has taught me to never be so judgemental. I totally agree with this and want to raise my boys to be understanding of others and look past the obvious. I want to teach them empathy without them having to experience these things.
It is a really hard concept for kids. Plus I try to model the not judge thing, as in reality behaviour breeds behaviour.
- The Giants and the Joneses!
- Le Rouge et Le Noir (Annoté) (French Edition).
- Judgement – a Life Lesson for those who are judged, and those who judge!
- King of Hell: you’ve read game of thrones, now read this (Peter Octavian Novel).
You do that in spades Jen. I think we have stereotypes in our head for groups of people and it can be easy to make sweeping judgements based on very little knowledge at all. Wonderful post, thought-provking and so very true. As for that note, I cannot believe anyone could do such a thing — terrible!
Judging Others
We judge the people we walk past on the street, the people we see accessing benefits etc but we have no idea of their backstory, so what right do we have to judge? Last week, I was waiting for a parking space outside the sports centre.
A nippy car whizzed past me and parked. At first I wondered how he had spotted a space, and realised it was a disabled space. Maybe he had a blue badge or not, but something tells me that at that moment he had his own emergency. Who knows what his emergency was — perhaps he was chancing things, maybe he was late picking up a child from the creche, or maybe he really needed to make a call for an emergency. Always worth finding out before making the assumption. My Grandma had to put up with similar things for a lot of her life. She has MS, the remissive kind rather than chronic progressive, but she was registered disabled as she had lots of health needs.
The most apparent thing on a day to day basis was a very weak bladder, but she sometimes had stick from people when she used the disabled loos. This is a great post to write to your children. It takes incredible strength to rise above the judgements and not retaliate with bitterness. And yet you have to, as well as rising to the challenge of your health problems. Being kind is number one on my list and this post i a good reminder to that.
But I recently watched a programme about a man with serious conditions brought on by diabetes and it shocked me. As for the note, how awful… some people really have too much time on their hands…. Brilliant post and so very true; it is easy to fall into the habit of believing what we read or absorbing the opinions of others around us but sometimes we need to take stock and actually wonder if what we think is true, really is.
Definite food for thought. I know a lot of adult diabetics keep it to themselves because they hate the judgement, or the having to explain it. But then they have to put up with the looks, and the tuts. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.
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Luke 6:37-42
Learn how your comment data is processed. Why people judge Firstly, the media. International Elf Service on January 22, at 9: I wish you and your gorgeous daughter as easy and as quick a learning curve as possible and I so hope the anxiety drops as you become more accustomed to it all xxx Reply. Helen on January 24, at 9: Pinkoddy on January 23, at 7: Helen on January 24, at Sarah MumofThree World on January 23, at 8: Izzie Anderton on January 23, at 3: Suzanne on January 24, at 8: Sarah Grenglish on January 24, at 3: Donna on January 24, at Emma on January 25, at 2: Candace on January 26, at 3: Helen on January 26, at Louise on January 26, at Helen on January 26, at 2: Emma on January 26, at