To the woman with 6 screaming kids at Walmart: Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Love, Carol Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young. It needs to be mountable behind the grill and come with a green pig shaped laser sight so the birds know where to go. Getting Lasik done this morning. This outfit today has been made possible by Spanx! Who Stacked the Quarters? An Hour to Kill. Dan Pearce - Sep 10, Few men experience what it's like for women when it comes to having long hair.
And I learned things that might change the way you view it forever. A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?..
- Your Funniest Facebook Status Updates;
- Status So Funny : ALL TIME BEST, FUNNY, EPIC, SMART FACEBOOK STATUS.
- Your Funniest Facebook Status Updates (Part III).
Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won. A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!! Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face.
People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness! One day a chicken croxed the road and met james bond and said whats your name??
Top Funny Facebook Status Updates, Quotes & Sayings | Fun Center
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Statuses That Will Get Lots of Likes
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Your Funniest Facebook Status Updates (Part III)
You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions. I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak. Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.. X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while. X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Waking up every 3 hours crying for food. X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said years.
Funny, Clever, and Cute Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter
People say that love is in every corner……gosh! Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear. She calls me her sixty second lover. Ha ha ha, erect. Make love, not war. Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police. The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary. Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
People who write diet books live off the fat of the land. Doctors waiting room needs some music.
Funny Facebook Statuses
And a pole in the middle of the room. Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain. Yes, I know how to shut up. You miss percent of the shots u never take. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret. I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.