Manners which were appropriate for a man were not always appropriate for a woman. Indeed it was completely unseemly that a woman swear for any reason whatsoever. It would bring great shame upon her father or husband. The medieval writer, Robert of Blois, admitted that ladies needed to know how to behave, but that it was difficult for her-. If she speaks, someone says it is too much.
If she is silent, she is reproached for not knowing how to greet people. If she is friendly and courteous, someone pretends it is for love. If on the other hand, she does not put on a bright face, she passes for being too proud. Women were instructed to be gracious in their deporture and not wriggle their shoulders, looking straight ahead with a tranquil and measured air.
Robert de Blois also wrote that. Ladies should walk erect, with dignity, neither trotting nor running, nor dallying either, with their eyes fixed on the ground ahead of them. They were to be particularly careful that they do not regard men as the sparrowhawk does the lark. Hair was almost certainly to be covered in one of the latest fashions outside the house. For a great deal of the medieval period, to go out with a bare head when one was not a child could have a woman marked as a prostitute.
Unless one was a washerwoman or a engaged in manual labour, the same could have been said for arms. They were never bare. If a gown with wide sleeves was worn, then another with close fitted sleeves was worn under it to prevent this happening.
A woman's neckline may be low, as low as her armpits, but no lower. When out in society, is was important that a woman's hands not be touched by a man who is not of her family. Hand-holding was quite inappropriate. When traveling outside the home, it was acceptable for any woman to walk arm in arm with her female companion or a male member of her family.
A woman of good breeding did not venture out alone. A working woman or a mother in a small peasant household may have cause to go out alone, but only when unavoidable.
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Where possible, she would send a son on an errand on her behalf or seek the security of another woman's company when going to the bakehouse or to the creek for washing. A woman who entered a conversation with a stranger would only gain herself a bad reputation and to accept a kiss from a male friend or acquaintance or from a man who is not related by blood or marriage, even on the cheek, would have had tongues wagging and have ruined a woman's reputation. In the middle ages, a woman's reputation was everything. One must never address a social superior first, especially if one was a woman, and an appropriate greeting must be given.
It was considered the height of rudeness to avert your gaze to a man or woman who ranked higher than oneself.
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Honesty was judged by the directness in the eyes and to hide ones face was interpreted as dishonesty and ill-intent. It was also unthinkable for a woman to turn her back on a social superior. She should wait for the person to pass or have removed herself from the room backwards. When introducing a person, should there have been no man to do it for her, convention dictated that a woman must introduce the highest rank to the lowest and then vice versa. This is still true for introductions today.
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An error in the order of introduction could have been a grave insult indeed. Should a woman have found herself in the company of important people and another important one arrive, she must bow and move away to permit the newcomer the privilege of standing closer. It was always better to err on the side of caution in this regard as it was better to appear humble and meek than ill-mannered and rude.
When a woman entered the house or room of a person of equal standing, a woman ought bow. If of higher standing, she must kneel on the right knee. Should she have been presented to the Queen, she knelt at the door, entered only halfway and knelt again. Only if she was motioned further might she have gone closer. Accepting gifts The Medieval Art of Love by Michael Camille tells us a little about love's gifts, what may and may not be freely given to a lady without being inappropriate.
Traditionally, knitted loo roll covers were always dolls but you may see some more unusual ones. If you need to use the toilet roll and it is under a cover, remove the cover and take what you need before replacing the cover. Shower curtains are hung above the bath on a railing or curtain rod. Its purpose is to provide privacy and to prevent water from flooding or spraying outside the shower area.
If you are showering, make sure that the curtain is pulled around the bath area and tucked into the bath. This will ensure that the floor is kept as dry as possible. Potpourri is a mixture of dried plant leaves and bark. It is highly fragranced and is left in bowls in bathrooms to keep the room smelling nice and fresh. It is not edible, do not try to eat it. You will find that the toilets in your school and other public places will all have locks on the door. To avoid an embarrassing situation, if you are using a bathroom which does not have a lock on the door, make sure you close the door fully.
Likewise, before you enter a bathroom it is polite to knock on the door and ask if anybody is in the room. In your home country you may squat to use the toilet. You must always sit on the toilet when you use it. If you use toilet paper, only use what is necessary to clean yourself. Do not take reams and reams of toilet paper because it is wasteful and it can block the toilet see below.
Always flush toilet paper down the toilet. In some countries, you cannot flush toilet paper because the drains are narrow and therefore block easily. The drains in the UK are quite wide and will not get blocked by toilet paper unless you flush too much of it. If you use wet wipes, check the packet and make sure they can be flushed down the toilet, otherwise this can also cause a blocked toilet see below.
Do not flush anything else down the toilet, as this will likely cause blockages such as paper towels, cotton wool pads, hair. If you prefer to use water to clean yourself, some homes in the UK will have a bidet which you can use to clean yourself with water. To use a bidet, stand over it with your legs slightly bent and turn on a stream of water.
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In the UK we often have separate hot and cold water taps, so be careful not to burn or freeze yourself! Lower yourself towards the water which is directed slightly upwards will clean you. Make sure you have your own personal towel to dry yourself after using a bidet.
Although the water is clean, we do not advise you to use it as a water fountain! Not all homes in the UK have bidets because these are a fashion item. If you would rather use water than toilet paper you must ensure that you have sufficient equipment to be able to clean yourself over the toilet. Make sure you have your own towel so that you can dry yourself and make as little mess as possible. If you get water on the toilet and floor, you must clean it up afterwards.
You can use toilet paper to do this and flush it down the toilet afterwards. Please do not do this as your homestay family will think it unhygienic. If there is a bin in the bathroom, you can use the bin for used cotton wool pads or buds, wrappers and other rubbish. You must NOT use the bin for used toilet paper. Toilet paper must always be flushed away. In public toilets you will find sanitary waste bins to dispose of used female sanitary items. If they are available, you should always use these bins.
If they are not available for example at your homestay you should discreetly wrap used items up as best as possible and place them in the bin. You can buy perfumed bags to dispose of used items, or use a wrapper or small amount of toilet paper. Do not flush them down the toilet as the toilet may become blocked see below. Unlike in public toilets, toilets in UK homes do not have urinals.
Men must use the toilet that is designed for sitting on.
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If you prefer to stand whilst urinating, you must lift the entire seat lid and seat beforehand. You must aim for the centre of the bowl. If you miss, you must wipe up any spills on the floor, toilet seat and toilet bowl. If you have lifted the toilet seat, you must replace the seat so that the seat is down after you have used the toilet. You must tell somebody if you block the toilet. Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed; sometimes these things happen. If you tell somebody early enough they will probably be able to sort it out themselves. If it gets worse, it can become an expensive problem as they may need to ring a specialist plumber.
If there is a smell after you have used the toilet, you should open the window to let some air in, unless it is raining or very cold. You may also find an air freshener which you can spray. If you make the toilet dirty, you must clean it yourself. Always put the toilet seat down after you have used and cleaned the toilet, so that the toilet is presentable for the next person who uses it.