I felt completely lethargic and unmotivated, and I found myself needing a lot more sleep every night. I also found myself online, googling my symptoms and looking to make an amateur diagnosis.
Did I have seasonal affective disorder SAD? Did I need to see a doctor about some kind of prescription? In the end, I thought the first place I should look was my diet, sleep and exercise patterns. Plus, the weather was simply bringing me down. Once I started making some changes, helped by the longer days and slightly warmer weather, I felt much more like my old self.
In a new book, How Everyone Became Depressed: Basically, we point the finger at everything and everyone but ourselves. You may think that your unhappiness is the result of the people or situations external to you, but the truth is that no other person or thing is responsible for your happiness. Only YOU are responsible for that. So when you are feeling unhappy, directly or indirectly, you will usually be responsible. Here are 8 guaranteed ways to make yourself unhappy.
Take a look and see if any apply to you… and if they do, ask yourself how can you change this? So what can you do about it? When it comes to your problems have you been known to show the coping mechanisms of an ostrich? If so, then this will be doing nothing for your happiness. So resolve to take action!
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A step, no matter how small, is at least a step in the right direction. And learning to tackle things head on will do wonders for your peace of mind. A good exercise to release your fears for the future and to start living more in the present moment is to think of your worst case scenario. This might sound somewhat illogical at first, but give it a go. When you allow yourself to mentally live through that worst case scenario; be it losing your job, separating from your husband or falling ill; you realize that you would still have options. Because when you compare yourself to others you exaggerate your o wn flaws and downplay the flaws of others.
Basically, you find it hard to see a negative event as a one off which can leave you feeling hopeless. After failing your driving test, you assume that you will fail everything else that you try in the future. Have you ever wondered "what if" something bad happens? What if I go to a party and no-one talks to me? What if I make no friends when I start my new job? This type of thought can often make us avoid going places or doing things that we would like and enjoy which too can contribute to us feeling low. Often when feelin low, people see things as either black or white, there is no in between.
They will only accept an A in maths as good, a B or anything lower is a complete failure. This too can make people feel as though things are never good enough which can contribute to low mood. Often people can ignore the positive aspects of life or situations, and instead focus on the negative elements. You focus on the one person who dislikes you and forget that you have many friends. This style of thinking stops us feeling good about ourselves and lowers our confidence.
People who are low often label themselves in negative ways.
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It is easy to see how labelling yourself in such a way would lower your confidence and mood. My partner hasn't called me after saying they would. Now you can challenge your unhelpful thoughts by asking these questions.
Are you depressed or just unhappy?
Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought? Can you identify any of the patterns of unhelpful thinking described earlier? What would you say to a friend who had this thought in a similar situation? I'm sure there'll be a good explanation as I don't have any evidence that suggests they're fed up with me. Try to apply these questions to the unhelpful thoughts that you notice.
It can help to improve your mood. You can use this technique to test your thoughts are realistic and balanced. Try to list every way that you can think to overcome your problem. Don't worry about how unrealistic an idea seems.
Are you depressed or just unhappy? - Chatelaine
Write down anything and everything. The best solutions are likely to be the ones you think of yourself. This is because nobody really knows your situation as well as you do. It may help to consider: How you might have solved similar problems in the past.
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What your friends or family would advise. How you would like to see yourself tackling the problem. Next you need to select the best solution from your list. Think carefully about each option. It is useful to go through all the reasons 'for' and 'against' each idea. This will help you to make a good decision and select the best solution. After this you may find that you are still unsure. Perhaps a couple of approaches seem equally good. Try to pick one to begin with. If it doesn't work then you can always go back and try out a different one later.
To help you carry out your chosen solution, it can be useful to break it down into smaller steps.