Bookstores are already filled with these. But as I like to say about the healing work of psychotherapy, it moves the ball down the field. As Leo Tolstoy once said: Expecting a little more. This is half a personal story and a critical examination of the art of being mindful, especially by meditation. Then the book was more palatable for me. Self-help and fiction is not my typical choice for reading I prefer historical non-fiction The last summarizing chapter seemed rushed and could have used a few more edits to be both eloquent and succinct.
See a Problem?
Still can't decide if the author was using a thesaurus or if he really uses that diverse vocabulary in his real life. To be fair, it seemed like an honest account of the author's experience. I think he was authentic in his vulnerability in telling his story. I wish him well in his life. But I would have thought seeing and reporting on really awful shit all over the world would give more perspective. I guess everyone's different.
I think everyone can find something useful, however small, within the pages of the book. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. But I was hesitant to read it then. Maybe you have to be in a certain place in your life. It's an excellent book and I learned so much I have a lot more reading to do to further understand the concept of mindfulness I intend to start with Dan's list of suggested readings. And I'm looking forward to learning more! Also, Dan Harris did a wonderful job narrating the book.
This was surprisingly good. It might do the most good for people who are complete sceptics about the virtues of meditation, calming the thinking mind, quenching the fires of tension in the body. I'm already a convert, and my path to becoming convinced was not unlike Dan Harris's. He did a good job writing about it. I thought he was a little hard on Eckhart Tolle, but even those sections were interesting. It kept my attention.
I could have stood to hear a little less about Dan Harris' own driven "journalist" personality, but still. Exceeded my expectations in every way. Meditation is good for you and you should try it. It was not what I expected. It's an autobiography of Dan's life which I was not interested in reading.
It's a book about his journey to meditation. The book is extremely well written which is why I finished it quickly, but if I could do this again, I would NOT purchase this book. See all 2, reviews. Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more about Amazon Giveaway. Set up a giveaway.
Customers who viewed this item also viewed. Going to Pieces without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness. Pages with related products. See and discover other items: There's a problem loading this menu right now. Learn more about Amazon Prime. Get fast, free shipping with Amazon Prime. Get to Know Us. English Choose a language for shopping. Explore the Home Gift Guide. Amazon Music Stream millions of songs. Amazon Advertising Find, attract, and engage customers.
Amazon Drive Cloud storage from Amazon. Alexa Actionable Analytics for the Web. AmazonGlobal Ship Orders Internationally. Amazon Inspire Digital Educational Resources. Amazon Rapids Fun stories for kids on the go. Amazon Restaurants Food delivery from local restaurants. ComiXology Thousands of Digital Comics. Harris seems to assume that all his readers have the same thought processes, make the same mistakes, and can be fixed the same way. He begins by telling us we likely believe four myths.
I think they believe truths that are very closely related to these that get twisted. Happiness is a possible natural state for all human beings happiness, not pleasure 2: You can learn to be happier by fixing your defective habits 3: You can create a better life, and you will have less negative feelings. You should gain better control of your thoughts and feelings as you progress. Doctor Harris spends half the book teaching a useful but difficult lesson.
We have two ways of thinking or two minds. The observing mind is always observing and recording. Then our thinking mind can interpret that information if need be, or think about something else entirely. Your observing mind always observed you were driving in your lane, so your thinking mind left it alone and pondered something else. Thoughts will come that we never wanted. When we dwell on them or try to drive them out, we always seem to make things worse and end up angry or upset at ourselves. He teaches us to simply accept the thought, and then move on.
Accept it, then move on. The end of the book is great. It teaches how to make real change that brings real happiness. Happiness comes from living according to your values. He urges us to spend REAL time discovering our values. Figure those values out, then set immediate, short medium, and long term goals that are congruent with your values.
What more can I say? Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book: So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Commitment means that when you inevitably stumble or get off track, you pick yourself up, find your bearings, and carry on.
View all 6 comments. Jun 18, Alice rated it liked it. I want to hate this book. It's so patronising and at times seriously flawed, logic-wise. It explains things with lots of exclamation marks! And basically it's just the author going on, without drawing on any examples from the real world! Despite all this, I'm persisting because, in amongst all the guff, there are some strategies in here that bloody well work.
And they work fast. This pains me because I, like the people Harris loves to patronise in the book, am one of thos I want to hate this book. This pains me because I, like the people Harris loves to patronise in the book, am one of those that spent a lot of time working through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy strategies. To have Acceptance and Committment Therapy boy come in, sit down and go "Here's some things that will work for you. I'm much less "grr" about this book now since I've been through all of it.
I think I actually want to read it again and do the exercises more meticulously.
The bottom line is, while the writing style isn't great, the strategies he's promoting are actually really good. Now it's just a matter of actually following through on them. View all 8 comments. Aug 11, Thomas rated it really liked it Shelves: In The Happiness Trap , Russ Harris crafts a persuasive, intelligent argument for why we should stop aiming for happiness and instead aim for a mindful, values-driven life.
His ideas in this book come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACT , a newer, third-wave cognitive behavioral therapy that has shown promising effectiveness in research studie 4. His ideas in this book come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACT , a newer, third-wave cognitive behavioral therapy that has shown promising effectiveness in research studies.
After this first section, he goes on to provide several strategies for increasing psychological flexibility, core principles that help us cultivate a rich and meaningful life. I will provide a super brief synopsis of each one: Recognizing thoughts, images, memories, and feelings as what they are — just words and pictures — without fighting them, running from them, or staying too focused on them 2 Expansion: Making additional room for these thoughts, images, memories, and feelings while allowing them to come and go as they please, without fighting them 3 Connection: Staying fully aware of the present moment and letting yourself experience the present moment with openness, interest, and receptiveness 4 The Observing Self: Bringing a pure awareness in which you observe your challenging, unpleasant thoughts and feelings without being hurt by them or subsumed by them 5 Values: Clarifying what is most important to you in your life, what sort of person you want to be, and not just focusing on external goals — focusing more on the expression of those values e.
Taking effective action in line with your values, no matter what the outcome and even if it is hard As a therapist and has someone who has been in therapy, I love ACT. I find it so effective for myself and for clients, and I appreciate its emphasis on both sitting with and honoring difficult emotions while also taking action to change your situation for the better. In some ways it reads like a more accessible version of this Acceptance and Commitment Therapy book , though I would recommend that book too without a doubt. Even a nod toward how we need a more culturally-relevant understanding of ACT would have helped, just to acknowledge that not all people are the same and thus we should make sure our therapies apply to folks of different backgrounds.
Still, a highly recommended read for those interested in Psychology and mental health. Nov 02, Philip Glennie rated it it was amazing. I'm a little at a loss about this one. But I'd like to start by saying that this book has made a significant impact on my motivation and overall quality of life. It's been months since I read it, but its message is still paying dividends. I've always been skeptical of the self-help genre, but this book came at the recommendation of a trusted friend, and I can honestly say that it's one of the most important things I've ever read.
My approach to my own mind has always come from a psychoanalytic p I'm a little at a loss about this one. My approach to my own mind has always come from a psychoanalytic perspective, in which I have believed that unearthing traumatic elements in my personal history might somehow help me to banish bad thoughts forever. But this book gave me my first exposure to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and more specifically, the branch of it known as Acceptance Commitment Therapy.
This approach to the mind is based on the acceptance that no matter what you do, a massive portion of your thoughts and self-talk will be negative. These thoughts can't be overpowered by positive visualization or a talking cure, but only by accepting them for the negative thoughts they are and moving on. Bad thoughts are not YOU; they are simply "things" being secreted by your brain and need to be treated as such.
I strongly recommend this book for anyone looking to feel more motivated and fulfilled in their day-to-day lives. You might notice that I leave the word "happy" out of this description, and if you read the book, you'll know why People struggling with negative emotions. When I got into self-help books, I had two problems I wanted to solve: The books were able to help with the first, but nothing I tried worked with the addiction. After our first session, I got instant results. Over the weekend that followed I had many changes to indulge my addiction and I had the desire, but I was When I got into self-help books, I had two problems I wanted to solve: Over the weekend that followed I had many changes to indulge my addiction and I had the desire, but I was able to use ACT to make values-based choices.
At that point, my knowledge of the principles of ACT was rudimentary. My psychologist loaned me his copy of this book and I read it swiftly picking up a number of tools that strengthened my practice of ACT. With a gift voucher for Christmas, I bought my own copy. The acronym also stands for the process Accept your internal experience; Choose a values-based direction; Take action!
It has proven effective with depression and addiction. The book explores a number of tools you can use to accept your experience of those things and make choices that will make you feel good long-term. It's a groundbreaking book that's simple to understand and easy to apply. If you're having problems in life because of negative feelings or self-talk, this book would be my first recommendation. Mar 29, Bronwyn rated it it was amazing. Dr Harris uses a great story of 2 kids in the car with mum on their way to the zoo. Both have been looking forward to the visit for weeks.
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT by Russ Harris
Johnny is looking out the window playing "I spy" with mum, looking at the cars passing by, waving at the trains and the truck drivers. Counting cows and sheep along the road side. Billy is slumped in the back, anxious and irritated "when are we going to get there" he keeps asking. A few kilometers from the zoo the car breaks down and has to be towed back to Dr Harris uses a great story of 2 kids in the car with mum on their way to the zoo.
A few kilometers from the zoo the car breaks down and has to be towed back to their home. They never did make it to the zoo. Which of the boys had the better day out? The Happiness traps is about the lives we lead chasing "happiness" - we will only be happy when It gives us the tools to really appreciate "the journey" and live a more fulfilled life. I highly recommend it. Apr 25, Josh rated it really liked it. Let's make him some soup. Life's mostly all peach these days, but I'm almost always interested in self-improvement.
We get one go on this globe and studying ways o It must reveal something if I feel cagy about advertising that I've read a book subtitled "How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. So let's say you're not struggling either. Or maybe struggling just in like this one area or two. Let's assume we're all arrayed somewhere along the fat median part of the continuum's arc and doing okay or pretty good or I'm-too-busy-to-even-tell, but maybe sometimes find ourselves on the far downslope, anxious or discouraged or frustrated with ourselves. The tenets of the book are solid and its suggestions useful.
I can endorse it though because many of the practices are ones I've already incorporated to some extent or, yes, have thought about incorporating because it sounds like a good idea and once I'm done with the dishes and today's heaping inbox and had a nap and watched an episode of Homeland I intend to think very seriously about maybe doing it sometime.
Anyhow, I'm particularly a fan of defusing from thoughts -- basically a Don't Believe Everything You Think approach -- and the practice of returning regularly to your values to make sure you're staying on course. I also liked his suggestion, Don't set goals a dead person can do better than you. I did heave a few impatient sighs in the beginning, where -- like in all self-help books, it seems -- Harris spends a good deal of time declaring how This Book is Different. Not to mention going over stuff that's as elementary as the Alphabet Song to anyone who's read anything even remotely self-helpy.
Lowest moment is when he explains that the acronym ACT is pronounced like the word "act": I think we might've guessed. He takes pains midway through to explain again how his method differs from previous methods, but it's not difficult to spot his ancestors most notably Richard Carlson, the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff guy, whose earliest books are owed such a great debt that Harris doesn't even whisper his name. His insistence on his own originality sounds hollowest when he declares that his take on mindfulness is different from other versions of mindfulness, or that his "living in the present" is somehow a new idea.
The "Further Readings and Resources" is woefully slim: So you have to slog through those parts to get to the good stuff. But the good stuff is good. It's not terribly new but it's exceptionally well-organized, which alone makes it worth checking out. Judging by other reviews, it's been a boon for a lot of folks and I can't quibble with that. Even though I found much of it familiar, I appreciated the reminders and like how the program's laid out a lot.
Consider the book recommended. Mar 25, Zahra rated it really liked it Shelves: Dec 12, Brad rated it really liked it Shelves: I found this book extremely helpful--I had previously read about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy on the website PsychologyToday. Apparently it is a successful and empirically proven therapy, so I was very much intrigued. I ended up going pretty slowly through the book, which allowed me to think about the principles it contains on a daily basis for a couple of weeks.
Some of the important things ACT teaches are that sometimes life is painful, and we need to accept that fact; our thoughts do not control our actions, particularly when we step back and observe what our thoughts are and decide whether they are in line with our values; if yes, act on them, if no, don't try to force the thoughts away, but choose an action that is in line with your values.
I've been thinking a lot about these things for both the big and little challenges that I face each day, and I have found them useful. This isn't a book that tells you how to be happy all the time, because that is not possible. But it does help you live a life of fulfillment, which I think is what matters most. I also believe that a fulfilling life is a joyful life--note that I do not say a "happy" or "ever-pleasant" life, as I think there is an important distinction.
- 38 of the Best Self Help Books to Improve Your Life.
- 18 Best Books on Happiness: How to Live a Happy Life Full of Joy.
- Processing: Creative Coding and Generative Art in Processing 2?
- Modern Ladino Culture: Press, Belles Lettres, and Theater in the Late Ottoman Empire (Indiana Series in Sephardi and Mizrahi Studies)!
- 18 Best Books on Happiness: How to Live a Happy Life Full of Joy.
I highly recommend this book. PG, probably, for some mild language? Things that seem like they might be useful for me: Pay attention to sensations of breathing. Let any thoughts come and go in the background, briefly acknowledge their presence, keeping your attention on the breathing can silently say "thinking" to yourself whenever a thought or image appears.
This may help acknowledge and let go of a thought. Practice it regularly to learn how to let thoughts come and go without focusing on them, how to recognize when you've been "hooked" by your thoughts, and how to gently "unhook yourself" and refocus your attention. If we consciously bring our awareness to how we are feeling and consciously observe how we're behaving, then no matter how intense our emotions are, we can still control our actions You can't stop yourself from feeling angry or afraid, but you certainly can control how you behave. Sure it's unpleasant and we don't like it, but it's nothing terrible There is no avoiding it.
But if we struggle with it, it becomes "dirty discomfort", the emotions are amplified when the struggle switch is on. Involves the observing self, not the thinking self. Then you ask, "What can I do right now that is truly meaningful or important? Thus, once aware of an urge, ask yourself, "If I act on this urge, will I be acting like the person I want to be? Will it help take my life in the direction I want to go?
So rather than try to resist, control, or suppress it, the aim in ACT is to make room for it, to give it enough time and space to expend all its energy--i. X, Y, Z"; breathe into it and make room for it and don't try to suppress it or get rid of it ; watch the urge as it rises, crests, and then falls again and if your mind starts telling you unhelpful stories, silently thank it --try rating the urge numerically, keep checking in on the urge, noticing whether it's rising, peaking, or falling.
Remember, no matter how huge that urge gets, you have room for it. And if you give it enough space, then sooner or later it will crest and then subside. So observe it, breathe into it, create space, and allow it. Checking in with your values--ask yourself, "What action can I take right now--instead of trying to resist or control my urges--that will enhance my life in the long term? Use all 5 senses to connect with a useful chore--if boredom or frustration arises, make room for it and refocus on what you're doing.
The moment you realize your mind has wandered and it will, repeatedly , gently thank your mind, briefly note what distracted you, and bring your attention back to what you're doing.
Follow the Author
Set aside 20 minutes to make a start on it. During that time, focus completely on the epxerience. After 20 minutes, feel free to either stop or continue. Do it for 20 minutes every day until your task is completed. If you had only one year left to live, how would you like to be as a person and what would you like to do during that time? Ask, "What's most important at this moment in my life, given all my conflicting concerns? If you're living a goal-focused life, then no matter what you have, it's never enough.
Not so with the values-focused life, because your values are always available to you, no matter your circumstance. If you're feeling miserable because you haven't yet achieved a particular goal, find the values underlying your goal and then ask yourself, "What's a small action I can take right now that's consistent with those values? And being faithful to them is usually deeply rewarding.
So the more you embrace your values, the greater your sense of fulfillment. What thoughts, feelings, sensations, and urges am I willing to have to complete this goal? We are willing to go through things we don't like, want, or approve of in order to reach the meaningful goal. Success in life means living by your values. Fulfillment is here, in this moment, anytime you act in line with your values. You can never know in advance whether you will achieve your goals; all you can do is keep moving forward in a valued direction.
The future is not in your control. What is in your control is your ability to continue your journey, step by step, learning and growing as you progress--and getting back on track whenever you wander. There's no point in beating yourself up when you screw up or fail to follow through. Guilt trips and self-criticism don't motivate you to make meaningful changes; they just keep you stuck, dwelling on the past.
Ask yourself, "What do I want to do now? Rather than dwelling on the past, what can I do in the present that's important or meaningful? But in every painful circumstance there is an opportunity for us to grow. The only things we can control are our actions and our attention, so put your life's energy there. The feelings I'm having right now are A, B, C. The thoughts I'm having right now are D, E, F. And the actions I can take to deal with this crisis effectively are G, H, I.