I wish you all the best in sharing that with others. The third paragraph describes me. I still feel the pain of those who hurt me even now. For nearly 24 years of my adult life I have been alone. It makes everything harder, and it makes happiness so fleeting. But not healing is the same. At least, with healing, we can get something out of it.
I have faith that you can begin to heal these wounds. This is like the most acurate, logical and, at the same time, emotional analysis of this feeling. Thanks for sharing this with us! Thank you for being here, Cristina. It really is hard to open up again after disappointments.
The innocence we reclaim after heartbreak is nothing like the innocence we have before it. But in some ways, I think reclaimed innocence is better. Closing down to love after experiences of hurt is automatic. Choosing to open up and heal: There is some honour in that. I am not that open to my parents that i share my personal feelings.
No one wants to hear me out. This makes me lonely and sad. By the same token, these days could be the most formative of your entire life. When everyone abandoned me, I felt lonely too. Not only lonely, but angry, self-destructive, anxious. Really, I was never alone. So I started working on building a better relationship with myself. Now, I can spend days alone and not feel lonely. I listen to myself. I give myself the love no one else can. I think these are hard days you are going through, but precious ones. If you can learn to feel loved alone in an empty room, you will be free. Not only will you be free from the pain of self-neglect, but you will also be free to truly love others without needing them to treat you in some specific way.
That is real freedom. They need me to be someone else. They go only by what they think they see, instead of what they know. You can find someone like that. It is the end of my first semester away at college and I feel very very lonely, anxious, and depressed. Being in a whole new surrounding with new people makes me anxious and also makes me realize that I have had this inner voice my whole life.
I would say that your greatness is hard for the average person to be around, and, although unintentional, you surface their deepest insecurities. When they compare themselves to you, they feel bad about themselves, which makes you feel bad about yourself. Thank you for your kinds thought however I am afraid those are not true. I have tried every kind of literature and outogussestion but I feel nothing is helping me how I feel. Again, I would like to thank you for your thoughts and hope one day I will figure out what is wrong with me. Accepting yourself as normal human who like to be part of human community, there is no shame in showing interests, even when it misfires.
You know the nerdy king, the engineers and computer scientists. There are lots of people who gravitate toward each other for reasons that may be mysterious even to themselves. Lastly, check out with a psychologist if you can afford it for a few hundred bucks, if it really bothers you why you are seen invisible. I really appreciate your advise and recommendations. I think you are absolutely right about me trying hard.
I try hard meeting people, I try hard pleasing people. You may look so confident that people are afraid to approach you.
Bogart and Bacall: A Love Story
Could this be the case? You must dedicate your life to change. Inner work comes first. You are not the opinions of others. Happiness is mostly a choice. There are endless battles to be fought, and many people quit after just losing one. You can reprogram habits and better perspectives into your mind within several months. When I had enough, and dedicated every single moment, right now, to being in control of my thoughts and emotions, I started seeing real results. My depression and social anxiety is normal now. I am much healthier in ever aspect because I do the work to get that health..
I found peace and self-love.. I am still invisible. I never fit in with those people anyway. But I am a human like everyone else, and although introverted, I do enjoy the company of others at times. So I understand the frustration. Human beings get really out of whack when it comes to seeking social worth, but in the end, as valuable as it can be, it is still an illusion.
You decide your worth. You must learn to be a warrior of life and enjoy it, and you can, but you have to dig deep down and do a lot of introspection. Sounds like you put a lot of your worth into the opinions of your parents, comparing yourself to your brother, and mixed with a lot of real or delusion when it comes to the opinions of others.
Understand deep in your soul: Put on a happy song, think back to one of your happier times.. Use it every day for the rest of your life. Thank you so much John!
I deeply appreciate your thoughts and it made a lots of sense to me. The hole in your life might be filled with His love. I love the Lord. God Bless you for saying that. I feel that everyone I am around family included tries to bring me down. I have constant hate from my family. They call me lazy, selfish, etc. You are not the opinions of others, even your parents. I really relate to it. But I just dont know how to keep that momentum going once it starts to work.
Eventually my mood just shifts and throws me off track, and i spiral down again. I feel like people tend to seek friendship with other who have a crowd around them. My loneliness is working against my chances finding friends. Oh hi Fred , I understand , it really sucks hey , really hurts. Makes it easier to tell the truth of how things are not so good for us , instead of pretending. Thanks again for your touching post , Kim. Im actually surprised how many people feel the way i do. Once in a while i feel good for no reason, and i just accept it and savor those moments.
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I look forward to reading more and learning how to silence the negative self hatred. Remember how people at school would gather around a victim and bully them? How everyone snubbed the unfortunate person because it was uncool to befriend them? Well these same people grew up to become the adults of today. They carried the same nagative values into adult life, the same mental idea that it is okay to tread on other people to remain popular, to reach the top — and that is exactly where they are!
I was one of those victims. Take a step back and consider modern behaviour in adults today: A spoiled generation who care little about everything from environmental destruction to the well-being of their own children. A throw-away age that also includes people. In fact, I think they should change. No man wants to stay with me, despite all my efforts.
They seem to b crazy about me and then all of a sudden.. The wicked thought am going to die lonely and afraid keeps reoccurring!! This article does an admirably accurate job describing how awful this experience feels emotionally. To me, this makes a lot more organic sense than doing battle with ourselves. Most of us have had enough of that— and these aspects are trying to help us, not hurt us. My mother died 3 years ago and I have no contact with my father.
I have very few friends and am becoming so lonely I just wish life would hurry up and end. I work full time and even though my manager and team mates always praise me I feel excluded and different and the more lonely I become the more difficult I find it to talk to people. I spend most weekends alone in the house. I have borderline personality disorder and the voice has completely taken over.
It keeps me inside a lot of the time and I have no opportunities to make friends. Hope you get to come and read this. Hope you and the baby is going well. What caught my attention most about your comment is when you talk about losing your personality because I have been there. I suffer from loneliness as well but feel that I am getting better over the years. I am getting much better but still battle with these emotions and feel that God Is showing me that I will never truly find happiness trying to relate to people. I have lived by myself twice and which people and in all my cases this feeling of loneliness never died.
Now I am about to live on my own again and I am prepping myself to deal with the thoughts of loneliness that I know that I will feel. Just recently after all these years of my father not being in my life I just found out that he committed suicide a couple of years back and it has also made me deal with myself a lot because many years of negative through will take you to a very bad place. I refuses to let the devil get in that much and it will always start with people. While I do believe that we can find truly loving worth while people and connections in life it can take a life time and depends on the quality of selection.
I am still healing and moving foward and still a lot if defeating thoughts of not being liked or feeling alone but I do put more effect of talking myself off of the ledge. I do have a partner but I am not always happy with the attention or quality time that I am getting and still contemplate about letting the relationship go. My of these concepts of live and connecting with people that we learn are illusions that turn into delusions over all it is about balance.
I have had the same experiences in life. At work people will talk about going to happy hour right in front of me and never invite me! Right now my boss only included my coworker in meetings, planning, and we do the same exact job. I recently found out that I am on the autism spectrum, high functioning, what used to be called asberger syndrome.
I have a heck of a time connecting with people. I too noticed that some people who no one likes because of bad behavior are included. I think it is because while they r annoying, they are real, alive, and connecting with others. Knowing there is a reason for my angst has helped. Wow…and I thought I was possesed or that I had a sign on my back that warned others to stay away from me! Well I feel better now knowing that all you good and sensitive people are senceing what I am.
For years I have made myself available for errands and household repairs only to discover that my suspicions were correct.. I WAS being snubbed. So I discovered that my inner self respect was being replaced by an inner being that was insecure and lonely. Make no mistake…there are really mean people in this world that can really mess with your head, and these types travel in groups. My so-called girlfriend must be really insecure if she must team up with her control freak siblings in badmouthing me behind my back.
For what its worth…Try with all your loving might to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you and respects you…that person is first and foremost YOU. I doubted myself and really believed that I was less valuable than those around me. My mind went to dark and self destructive places. As a Christian I prayed but I could not feel better about being me.
Slowly the haze started to clear as I learned to not feel responsible for the captious comments of others. What I do now is consider the source of my hurt feelings. I am responsible for alot of them but not all, and I am careful of what I take serious when I hear vicious rumors. Thanks for sharing…You are all in my prayers. Jane…you are an awesome person! Hugs and God Bless You! No one wants me around including my wife of 25 yrs. And many of us Good men really Hate being Single too. I m pursuing degree course i dnt like to meet relatives. It make me feel they will ask questions or what they want.
I feel so i think because i m nt beautiful nt yet got a degree i older than my freinds. It makes me feel so much better to see that so many other good people have had similar experiences. I do want to throw in that if you are friendly and nice and positive and people still seem to avoid inviting you in, it may be the very fact that you feel you need so much for them to like you. People sense that and they may become afraid, consciously or not, that if they give you reassurance you will cling to them and demand more and more, which is very daunting if they are already having to work hard to maintain their own confidence.
Then all will be attracted to you! I am so apparently UGLY that those men not only felt the need to laugh at me whilst looking at me, but point at me too whilst saying nasty, hurtful things. Makeup is my mask. If only I were even slightly pretty, maybe then I could start to get close to someone to stand the chance of them seeing me for me. I feel soo unwanted unloved and useless my husband has an OCD problem he fights with me everyday over household chores, he makes me feel like i can do nothing right.
I really try to hard to be a good wife give him all the love and support. When i try show him affection he always pulls away. Because of this i feel soo lonely, unwanted and useless.
Before we were married everything was perfect he was loving and caring. I thought i have found someone that would make me feel special, loved. All my life i felt unwanted useless ugly and worthless and after being married all those feelings have crept back. We argue all the time its physically draining. I am kidding myself thinking our marriage can be salvaged? I feel so isolated. Your relationship sounds alot like the last one I was in.
Your husband is abusive. No one should have to fight all the time. When you feel like you never do anything right. He is gaslighting you. Please read about it,find a support group and get out. Sarah is right…this sounds like an abusive relationship. A lot of what I have read in the lead article I can definitely relate to, the self-doubt and circumstances under which it arises.
I decided to keep quiet. In short, I had and still am, a loner. I suppose I will always be as I am, maybe the feeling I have about myself are ingrained just too deep. Its hard to be liked. I try to put myself to be outgoing and coolish but i feel likei get hurt and treated badly so i hide. My mom, dad, with the rest of my family dont like me its all pretend happy when they see me but they all hate me even at work im not noticed.
Im only noticed when someone tries to use me which is sad depressing. I really am not sure what to do next. I moved back home after a long term illness and on top of it all I was attacked and put into a coma for about 6 weeks. This got really bad to the point where I was even violently attacked.
The only thing I ever wanted was to be left alone. Before I got better from my sickness I decided to start working from home and before I knew I was in my own office and growing a business. I knew that the next attack would be from my own family. Because apart from the people who work for me, there are no other humans who I come into contact with.
I have just discovered that my own mother has been spreading the vilest rumors about me.. My parents were abusive when I was a child. My father was the physical one while she would just use mental abuse. It is like the more successful I am in my business the harder she has tried to break me mentally. And usually she uses my business as a target for her attacks.. Which is ridiculous as she knows nothing about it. Kinda like the cleaning lady telling the MD that his or her company is a failure. I think she wishes that it would fail.
She has gone out of the country and has been phoning me to taunt and laugh at me over the Christmas and New Year. And when I called her back to ask her not to call me again she pretended to not know what I was talking about. Which is specifically her problem. You cannot resolve anything with someone who refuses to talk to you. So she has clearly been trying to cultivate an abusive relationship towards me, while creating an impression to others that I have been abusive towards her.
I guess my long term nighbours would know better as they listened to a lot of what I had to go through. What do I do about the neighbors as well as her? And what is going on here?
- Nobody Loves Me Like You.
- ?
- Rádios que tocam Chris Tomlin?
- Canister Of Evil!
- DuMont Reiseabenteuer Leseprobe (DuMont Reiseabenteuer E-Book) (German Edition).
- “Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame.
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Does anyone see a pattern? Get away from these sick crazy people.
Feeling Unloved: “You Don’t Love Me, Nobody Loves Me”
Going to church and trying to please God is the only person I try to please. I got on this site Bc my granddaughter is going through a hard time at school at the age of But I tell her love God love your self. The one person that helps me all the time is Dr Carolina leaf look her up on you tube she really has help me so much! I have also learn to forgive fast…. You sound like a great , loving person! Has anyone thought if everyone here became friends how many friends we would all have!
I was thinking the same thing Lou! I may do it today as reading all the comments has been powerfully insightful and helpful and tear-jerking and heart-warming! And it seems like you have no answer for me, just like everyone else. Life is so hard right now! This article described my problems perfectly I feel Alot better now.. Im gonna try and fight this inner voice , i know its gonna be hard. I completely agree with you this article is great! Fight your inner voices! You can do it!
I have never had a friend. I take that back. One for a free babysitter, and one so they could get gas money from me. Sometimes no one likes someone. I want a girlfriend. The women who are just like me in personality type want a white guy with a big beard and tattoos. I suggest you move to where there is a critical mass of white hipster people, like Portland, and start hanging out at the places that appeal to you. I used to live there and I know there are plenty of women of all colors who would date a black guy with your tastes. On the other hand, Brooklyn has the same scene, but people tend to hang out in their own racial groups in NYC.
A gross generalization I know, but I used to live there too. Now I live back in Oregon, and a friend of mine, a black guy, just uploaded a playlist of Pink Floyd and punk rock to the cloud for his students. Turns out, it happens.
Why Does Nobody Love Me?
This article touched briefly on how I feel. The loneliness and worthlessness I feel, is all my own doing; I let myself get this way. I avoid mirrors as much as possible and rarely go out without make-up on because of my acne. One thing i understood no one can change their destiny. You just cant make others care for you and like you or love you unconditionally from heart…you may be most brightest generous charming successful but you cant make others like you…being liked and loved is a gift ,it cant be achieved. And what about many of us good men that are still single that really wanted a wife and family too?
My Parents are dead , my brothers are dead , my partner is dead. I have no children. All my extended family are dead apart from a few distant cousins who are strangers. I am only 48 but entirely left alone. Drifted from old friends. I have a roof over my head until the unemployment benefits run out. Hey, I was tired too! My little kids are the same way. I now realize all of these events have one thing in common…me. So, I choose to avoid them so as to not upset them. Like so many of you, I too have always struggled to make and keep friends.
As a child, I was always left out but really, really wished other kids would like me. As a child I was severely bullied throughout all of my school years, even by some teachers who seemed to take pleasure in humiliating me and was often mentally and emotionally abused by my mother who hated men, and a father that had very little to do with his son.
I lived this way for many years sometimes using pot and alcohol to numb my pain. Finally out of desperation I turned to the mental health field for help, which took a lot of courage on my part, but it was no help at all. The best I can hope for is getting on social security disability; I have a hearing in front of a judge next month. Someone else mentioned in one of the responses being an empath and I think I do have many of those qualities.
If you do turn to the mental health system for that help they will just further alienate you with mental health labels, medications that cause horrible side effects, and treating you at a distance with strict boundaries and callousness. I also feel utterly alone and unlikable. I have a very hard time believing that my husband or children love me. I was raised by a mother who told me how fat I was, lazy, stupid, and how no one in the family liked me. I am 50 years old, a successful healthcare professional and still feel like that worthless little girl.
I have a really broken view of myself and I can now see how it has affected my relationship with other people. I agree with, and like this article. The problem is, that this stays with you, and months later, you are still thinking about it. Anybody had similar experiences, and what do you do about it?
I felt as an outcast all my life since I turned six years old. The way I was treated as a child growing up living in a abusive home, with toxic parents, other toxic family.. I had to learn how to survived. With everything happen throughout my life since the age of six years old being sexual abused, bullied all through school, having to watch and sit seeing my father abuse my mother, it made me feel paralyzed inside. My father his favorite name for me clumsy child. His explanation to the doctors at the emergency which I being rushed to the emergency room frequently because of some unexplained accidents.
My faith and trust in God is what got me through the storms of my life. I only wanted a day with out phones if we go for a meal etc. Her whole entire family and friends hate me. Puts me down at any second she gets on Facebook or on phone for no reason at all. He calls me once maybe twice a year and it makes me wonder how does now your dad do this to you! It hurts because nobody wants to feel alone. Does this also cause me to judge others? I always think people dislike me or are bored to talk to me and would much rather prefer talking to someone else..
SO…I want to be liked, but I find it hard to like other people…. Vitamin B1 deficiency is an extremely under-diagnosed illness today, presenting in hundreds of symptoms. This great article mentions incontinence caused by B1 deficiency, as well as explaining about all b vitamin deficiencies..
In addition take Methylcobalamin with each meal. Actually most people here would benefit greatly from this same protocol as B deficiencies are ALL about mood and healthy brain. I have suffered greatly mostly mental from B1 deficiency…and know I have a long time recovery after 54 years of more and more suffering from insecurity and anxiety and fear and depression and anger, etc.
“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame - PsychAlive
Switching to a traditional Northern European diet a year ago has also helped me tremendously, mentally and physically. I had an awful unhappy childhood where both my parents didnt want me or loved me and one just didnt want to know me, but the other brought me up resentfully with a lot of cruelty.
This has coloured my whole life and my opinion of myself has never been good, Im now middle aged and am socially very much alone with no friends, I dont go to social situations as they make me feel terrible and I have depression, anxiety and suffer from panic attacks regularly.
But I would like to thank you for posting this as it has helped me in seeing that I must forgive and accept the past in order to move on. Ive felt crippled by my past and that horrible internal voice that always puts me down and tells me Im useless and unlovable, finding a way to lessen it and gain some confidence would be my goal now.
I would encourage anyone to just accept it. Some people are more likeable than others. I would encourage you all to be non-judgmental to your unfolding of experiences. Practice paying attention in the moment with curiosity, openness, acceptance, and love Look up Seigl C. L on mindfulness and awareness. They think I m weird n even my own friend makes fun of me. I feel alone in my class. Reading this article gave me a degree of separation from my inner critic. I pushed it aside for probably the first time ever and forced myself to read on knowing I was in desperate need of insight and relief.
Thank you for writing this. It has helped me be able to look at the voice as something separate from me instead of it being me which is a great start. Now I feel a tug of war.. I guess that it is progress and for that I am thankful. I hope I can continue to silence the harsh voice and get to know who I am without it. Feeling alone and isolated these days. I went through a divorce about 4 years ago — part of it, admittedly, my fault. My ex has brainwashed my two children into wanting little to nothing to do with me.
Everything seemed fine and then suddenly, no interest in having a relationship. I am lonely, went through the guilt of divorce, and have been trying to start over again. I miss having someone to love. Most the social interaction I have is with my co-workers at my job. I have a couple of friends, but they are usually busy with their families.