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Supporting a Depressed Loved One While Taking Care of Yourself

Sometimes a phone call or in-person meeting is a good idea for requesting a personal reference, but you can also start out with an email. Having worked with you for several years at Company ABC, I believe you can provide potential employers with specific information about my skills that will improve my chances of getting the job.

Attached is my current resume. Please let me know if you need any additional information to act as a reference on my behalf.

Thank you so much for considering my request. Thanks again, [Your name] P: Thank you again for being a reference for me. Thank you so much for all you did on my behalf. I sincerely appreciate it. These contacts will likely be important throughout your career. The information on this site is provided as a courtesy. Indeed is not a career or legal advisor and does not guarantee job interviews or offers. How to ask someone to be a reference Choose the right people. Notify your references in advance. Get started with our example email for a reference request below.

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Follow up, both before and after. Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps. Drinks more or abuses drugs , including prescription sleeping pills and painkillers. Depression Symptoms and Warning Signs: Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to a loved one about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries they will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.

But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. Often, the simple act of talking to someone face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about their feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment.

2. Ask them a question

Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again.


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Be gentle, yet persistent. Remember, being supportive involves offering encouragement and hope. Very often, this is a matter of talking to the person in language that they will understand and respond to while in a depressed mind frame. When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage. If you believe your loved one is at an immediate risk for suicide, do NOT leave the person alone.

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It may be hard to believe that the person you know and love would ever consider something as drastic as suicide, but a depressed person may not see any other way out. Depression clouds judgment and distorts thinking, causing a normally rational person to believe that death is the only way to end the pain he or she is feeling.

When someone is depressed, suicide is a very real danger. If you think a friend or family member might be considering suicide, talk to them about your concerns as soon as possible. Many people feel uncomfortable bringing up the topic but it is one of the best things you can do for someone who is thinking about suicide. Getting a depressed person into treatment can be difficult. Depression saps energy and motivation, so even the act of making an appointment or finding a doctor can seem daunting. Depression also involves negative ways of thinking.

The depressed person may believe that the situation is hopeless and treatment pointless.

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Because of these obstacles, getting your loved one to admit to the problem—and helping them see that it can be solved—is an essential step in depression recovery. Suggest a general check-up with a physician. Your loved one may be less anxious about seeing a family doctor than a mental health professional.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

If the doctor diagnoses depression, he or she can refer your loved one to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Offer to help your depressed loved one find a doctor or therapist and go with them on the first visit. Finding the right treatment provider can be difficult, and is often a trial-and-error process.

For a depressed person already low on energy, it is a huge help to have assistance making calls and looking into the options. Encourage the person to make a thorough list of symptoms and ailments to discuss with the doctor. One of the most important things you can do to help a friend or relative with depression is to give your unconditional love and support throughout the treatment process. This involves being compassionate and patient, which is not always easy when dealing with the negativity, hostility, and moodiness that go hand in hand with depression.

Provide whatever assistance the person needs and is willing to accept. Help your loved one make and keep appointments, research treatment options, and stay on schedule with any treatment prescribed. It can be frustrating to watch a depressed friend or family member struggle, especially if progress is slow or stalled.


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  • Helping Someone with Depression: Supporting a Depressed Loved One While Taking Care of Yourself;
  • How to Ask Someone to Be Your Reference: Email Examples.
  • Helping Someone with Depression.

Having patience is important. Encourage your friend or family member to lead a healthier, mood-boosting lifestyle by doing it yourself: Therapy, Medication, and Lifestyle Changes. Invite your loved one to join you in uplifting activities, like going to a funny movie or having dinner at a favorite restaurant. Exercise is especially helpful , so try to get your depressed loved one moving. Going on walks together is one of the easiest options. Pitch in when possible. Seemingly small tasks can be hard for a depressed person to manage.

Offer to help out with household responsibilities or chores, but only do what you can without getting burned out yourself! You can, however, control how well you take care of yourself. Remember the advice of airline flight attendants: In other words, make sure your own health and happiness are solid before you try to help someone who is depressed.

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Think of this challenging time like a marathon; you need extra sustenance to keep yourself going. The following ideas will help you keep your strength up as you support your loved one through depression treatment and recovery. Speak up for yourself.