Why were you chosen to participate in that class? Like so many women before me, I have shaken off the comment. But every time it stays there in the back of my mind, screaming for attention after every failure or setback. A girl who was always the first one to volleyball practice and the last to leave. A girl who was told she was too assertive and aggressive to advance in her career.

A girl who has made big mistakes, both personal and professional. A girl who swings for the fences even when no one is watching. A girl who puts in hours when other people are asleep. A girl who tells young girls how smart and strong they are. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

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It's wracking my brain. The connection I had with her was unlike any other girl I have ever met. She's the only girl I have ever had feelings for like this.


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I've searched and searched and she was my dream girl, everything I could ever have wanted. If I can't have her in my life, I don't want another woman. I seriously cannot see myself having feelings for her as intense for another woman that I have with her. We humans dont really know someone for a long time.

If she is your "dream girl" are you sure you havent had some infatuation for her I'm challenging you a little but there is a reason. See no matter what you say, you must not have known her all that well.

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Who knows why people do the things they do? Lets look at the extremes of possibility so we can clarify things.

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One extreme to the left is that she isnt very well, has mental issues to do with her emotional side that no one else knows about. She had fallen madly in love with you so much so she had to abandon ship as soon as you left. To the right is that she has a boyfriend she prefers than you.

She cant face other guys to tell them she isnt interested. She could be "playing the field". She could be heavily depressed in which case it is not a cemented relationship for you to intervene to "save her". And all the other possibilities in between. But I'm just guessing like you. What is important here for you, is that you understand that there is a huge gap between our emotional thoughts and the way the world is.

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Following your heart onyl is mixed with danger, a good mix of head and heart is the way to go. I dont believe for one minute that you'll go through your life not finding another girl you'll fall more in love with. I've been in love about 6 times, married twice, defacto for 10 years also with another. I know at this time you feel that way, time will give you the wisdom to know things happen for a reason.

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There is a positive side to everything. Now, imagine if you had children with this girl and she cut you off? I dont want to go into too much detail here and get off the track but then you'd be only seeing your children once every fortnight, have little money to have a decent life due to child support and at risk your kids would be turned against you You could do as I did after my marriage of 11 years failed. Daily I'd look in the mirror and tell myself I'm a decent person that deserves a decent woman to live my life with. That it wasnt my fault it failed. And I'm going out there and in time will find the love of my dreams Hi whiteknight, Am I obsessed?


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To be honest, I would have to say yes She was and is always on my mind, even now. The thing is I have never really had a girlfriend before. I've had brief flings with girls in the past but never a solid relationship. She was everything I could ever want in a girlfriend and everything I have always dreamed of in a girl. Does she feel the same way about me? I thought so and I'd like to think so, but if she did this to me I don't know.

I know sometimes we see in people what we want to see. If they are close enough to what we want, we project all of our wants onto them, and see them as the perfect person even if they're not.

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I know she wasn't perfect, but she was perfect to me. I don't see anything positive coming out of this. I can't explain why but interacting her and being around her I felt a surge of confidence in myself that I hadn't experienced in a very, very long time. Since she's cut me out, my confidence, self-esteem and self-worth has taken a nose dive and I keep tormenting myself with "what ifs" and "why did this have to happen" type scenarios.

I go from bawling my eyes out to becoming down and depressed and not knowing what to do with myself. I don't know how to get over it. I've tried to keep my mind busy by getting out of the house, reading and exercising and but it doesn't help. My parents are supportive but are getting sick of me talking about it.

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The only thing my friends have told me is to just suck it up and move on with my life, which is harder said than done. Part of me does not want to move on. I'm in love with her and I want to be loved. This may sound weird but I feel if I met another girl it would be cheating on her in a way, not that I'm looking for a relationship with another girl at the moment.

It is a two way thing.


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For you are not only describing the loss of a "potential" girlfriend, you would be posing a close person you've known and loved all your life that has died.?? So your dreams of the perfect girl cuts you off and refuses contact? Perhaps the "perfect girl" in your mind is like her but with improvements You are LC, not them. Sometimes the last people you ask advice from is people not emotionally involved or not qualified to comment. Your love for her IMO is infatuation and puppy love. That isnt meant to hurt you, its meant to clarify it to you.

Also bare in mind- for some this kind of love is only ever replaced by the love for another girl. Thats why its important to move on. I've felt this way myself a few times when young only to find the girl was seeing another guy all along. I was wasting my energy and thoughts for weeks It has come to a point now LC that you need professional help.

Unless you can divert you thoughts with the help of hobbies, sports, mates, etc then you have to seek the advice of a doctor and seek therapy. I am with you on this, I know how you feel. But not only are you not able to move on, one day in the future you might meet another girl and you'll feel the same way and WHAM.. As I said before imagine if you married and had kids. Your whole world comes crashing down as well as your future..

I am going to share with you a quote from one of my favourite books, 'Staying Strong Days A Year' by Demi Lovato, as I feel it is relevant to your situation. Zone in on this moment right now.