To me it seems that this world is all about death. If you think about nothing can live without something else has to die to sustain it. What kind of God could have created such a place. With so much in my heart i am here to express myself on how Dr. Myself and my husband were having some misunderstanding and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extend my husband was seeking for a divorce. So i have no option than to go to the internet to seek for solution to my problem it was there i came across Dr.
Now myself and my husband live together in peace and harmony all thanks to Dr. I so needed to read this to understand my conflicting emotions. My mother passed away 3 weeks ago, and I sensed that the pastor was admonishing me for lack of faith when I exhibited grief at her funeral. I have been questioning my lack of faith since. My mother was so faithful to her God, and knew absolutely where she was going. Makes me feel as though I have betrayed her memory. My ex husband passed away at 47 of a heart attack a few months ago.
We were married for 20 years and he is the father of my two sons, ages 21 and The pain of watching my children suffer has been the hardest thing in my life. I am also very sad.
Grief and Faith: the relationship between belief and grief
We were not getting along at the time but he was my first love. I have not moved on even after many years of being divorced. I had children to raise and no time to date. I wonder if anyone else has gone through this. I feel so alone in my grief because he was my ex.
From a Jewish perspective
My sister who was 6 years older than me was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour last April. She became forgetful and confused, after a couple of falls at home, she was admitted to a large teaching hospital in the place where they lived and I visited a couple of times. Then after yet another scan, they found that the tumour had spread and was pressing on her brain, so more drugs and a move to a small unit in my home town, I visited her every evening, I helped her with her supper because by the July, she could not lift or coordinate getting a fork or spoon into her mouth.
My niece and I visited her the day before she died and I said to my niece on the way through the ward, my sister was in a little room at the end of the ward and we were out of her earshot by this time that I thought death might be imminent, the senior ward sister came over to us and said the same, my niece drove me home and rang her Dad from my place. She stayed for a bite to eat and her Dad drove over to the hospital, where my niece met him. My sister died the next morning. I miss her SO much. Whenever I bought any new clothes, she came with me.
We spoke often on the phone. We lost our Dad 27 years ago and our Mum 10 years ago, I feel as if my arm has been wrenched off. When my sister died, so many people sent me flowers and cards. We got through her funeral and here we are 9 months later. My niece asks me when the pain will stop, I tell her that it will ease with time but it will never go away. Thank you for the lovely things that you have said and for letting me tell you all this. I lost all ability to even use the reasoning part of my mind.
I thought some miracle had occurred and that we should wait to see. Two months later I still thought that way.
Grief and Faith: the relationship between belief and grief - What's Your Grief
On the morning they killed Osama bin Laden my daughter called me in the middle of the night to tell me about it. Richard, the guy I talked to about it, appears to be the only person who can listen to things like this — especially in the middle of the night — and NOT make judgments of me. So I just plain like him and feel utterly grateful to him for being able to be with me without judging me during my darkest hours.
I am an Episcopal priest and also a recent widow. In our Book of Common Prayer, we have the following written with our funeral service: It finds all meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we, too, shall be raised. The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death.
Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So, while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord, we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn. These are wonderful and comforting words, Rev. Thank you so much for sharing! It is wonderful to know you are sharing this with families.
I have no doubt it is reassuring to them in their grief! We just have recently lost my grandma who has lived with us and faith is very important to us or at least to me to deal with her very sudden and unexpected dead. It also helps a lot that we know she was not afraid of death and believed in being reunited with her family in heaven.
I have been wrestling with this very question for about a month now. Thank you for this post.
Though I walk a different path then most, I do understand both sides of the grief issue. I know they wake each morning and for a brief time, think that everything is OK. Then they crash back into reality. It will never be OK like it was, life might be bearable, but that beloved child is in spirit. That said, I have also some frustrations. Some folks are so wrapped up in their grief and use it a sole perspective. Anything difficult in your life for instance, like right now I have Shingles for the second time in my life, my 24 year old son was diagnosed with a Hereditary Iron Disorder in Nov.
He lost his job, and last month was arrested. Guns for a traffic stop. Then there was the 8 hours handcuffed at the Precinct without being allowed to make a phone call. Anyhow, prayers he gets a break tomorrow. He is clean and sober now. Who I used to send an ecard to every Monday night — her daughter went into spirit on a Tuesday AM — who I told via email of my shingles resurgence. Emailed me again after 3 weeks to see if every thing was OK. And I told her Again, what was going on.
This person who I was there for after the first year, the second year, the third year, the fourth and yes, fifth. She did not reply. I guess my role was to always be the Rock and support her and I think that is wrong. I think that some folks may wrap themselves up in their grief and use it as an excuse to be, say a shitty friend pardon my language.
I am trying not to confront her on this, but I really do ask myself, at what point does the person who is bereaved, become a despot in a relationship and always expect the empathy, when they are no longer capable of even saying: Obviously you can delete this if it is inappropriate. I just needed to get that off my chest. The Death of a loved one changes people. But it does not give them the right to be the exclusive receiver of support.
From a Christian perspective
Sometimes it actually helps with grief to share and to give, and I hope my friend or perhaps ex-friend finds that place for herself. From my own experince with grief grandmother passed away 2 days before my wedding. There are some parts that are really deep and dark, there are other parts that are shallow and lighter and there are waves.
During the first year after her passing, grief was more deep, dark and full of waves. I would be doing something random i. Then there were other times when I could laugh and remeber how much fun she and I had. It was like a roller coaster, with ups and downs. It goes up and down. There are good days and there are not so good days. Sure, you can live without an arm or leg and the rest of your body will still function but that will never negate the fact that you miss the absent limb.
CS Lewis makes that analogy about grief and I have always thought it was a great analogy. Funny you mention crying in Target- I wrote a post about that very thing!! So, needless to say I can relate http: Beth, thank you so much for all of your amazing posts.
Your site has helped me so much already and much of my family too. Oh, and I cried on the plane on the way into Texas just this morning! While I take comfort that we had no regrets of unspoken words, 14 years later, I still miss his welcoming presence in my life. I found that people let you talk about your grief for just so long and then it is necessary to find a professional to spill over on.
He Gathers Your Tears: Words of Comfort for a Widow's Heart by Phyllis Moore; Wynwood, This candid, unfettered account pairs journal entries with scriptures of hope. Praying Our Goodbyes by Joyce Rupp; Ave Maria Press, This scripturally based book includes end of chapter questions for reflection and 24 prayer experiences.
A Time to Grieve: Moore; Abingdon Press, A Candle for Grandpa: This book is listed for the kindergarten to third grade levels. Fixing the World Anne Lobock Fenton; Brookline Books, In this poignant story, a good-natured handyman tries to fix his sick friend.
When a Grandparent Dies: The Death of Death: Resurrection and Immortality in Jewish Thought by Neil Gillman; Jewish Lights Publishing, A professor of Jewish philosophy with excellent knowledge of history comes down on the side of bodily resurrection. The Orphaned Adult by Marc D. Angel; Insight Books, The author confronts the death of a parent from a Jewish perspective.
What Happens After I Die?