Daddy Never Loved Me

This began a fierce battle for survival and a ten-year season of mandatory visitation with my dad.

I was constantly comparing myself to other girls, especially girls who appeared to have a loving relationship with their fathers. It bordered on being an obsession! I did everything in my power to stunt my growth, thinking that if I were just smaller, cuter, or skinnier, my dad would love me again. But all to no avail. I tried harder and harder to win his approval, only to have my hopes dashed repeatedly. Feelings of rejection overwhelmed my heart and made me feel worthless and unworthy of being loved by God or anyone else. Then when I was thirteen, my dad unexpectedly died of lymphatic cancer, causing my hopes and dreams of ever knowing the love and affection of an earthly father to be shattered.

By the time I was sixteen, I had totally given up on being a girl. Simply put, I was angry with God for making me a girl instead of a boy. I hated my femininity and did everything within my power to hide it. I struggled to keep thoughts of ending my life at bay and felt like my future was hopeless. While growing up, my wish was that when I turned 21 I wanted all the people that complete me to be there with me, but that never happened. I decided to find him. I almost hired a private investigator until my mom told me who he was. I searched for him on Facebook, and I found him.

He has my contact information, but he only called me twice. I never met him. I had very similar situation as many of you did: He had several mistresses while married to my mom, and I can still recall hearing her cry at night, wondering where he was and when or even if he would return.

My advice to everyone, especially those of you who are teens is to find help to deal with all your pain and unresolved issues before becoming involved with dating. See a counselor or therapist if at all possible and gain skills that will help you recognize that you may very well attract or be drawn to relationships and people with abandonment tendencies.

Children learn what they live, even if it was bad. Some of our attitudes and ideas were formed by what we experienced, and sometimes a bad relationship just feels comfortable or familiar and we don't even consider why. The cycle has to be consciously broken, which takes time, effort, and self-awareness. When I was born, my father left me and my twin for another lady. We were just a week old then. We are now My older brother's twin died at birth. So did my younger sister's. I'm lucky to have my twin by my side. Every day I wonder to myself, why did he leave me? Why hasn't he come back home?

When will I see him again?

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My mother got married 4 years ago, so I have had a father figure in a part of my life. But it's just so hard not knowing who my real father is. It doesn't feel right. I just feel so frustrated at him right now. My daughter's father abandoned her from the moment he knew I was pregnant. I've been to court, and still he gets away with it all. She's 7 months old and he never made an effort to do anything for her or be a part of her life.

I thought she doesn't understand what's going on, but when my friend came to visit with her son and his father was playing with him she stopped playing and sat quietly in a corner and looked at them with a sad face. I'm not sure she understood, but I felt guilty for her having to grow up without him. That's exactly what happened to me. My dad left me at birth. I haven't seen him since. I don't even know what he looks like except what I see on photos. I know how your daughter must be feeling. It's not your fault.

My dad abandoned me right after my mom died when I was 9.

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It was so difficult. But I knew in my heart that it was no one's fault except his. Your daughter loves you and will always love you. My dad left before I was born. He and my mom were still boyfriend and girlfriend at the time and she got pregnant. She had been trying to get pregnant from her first marriage, but that didn't go so well. When she told him, he said he didn't want to raise a child, that he wasn't ready.

My mom was already around the age of 40 and she said, "Fine, I'll raise my child without you. It'll be 14 years next week. Surrounded by a loving family. Men can be a pain, but sometimes if you stayed with that man, he might not have treated your child well. But I'm doing fine and a Junior Olympic swimmer who has a loving family.

And that's all I need! My dad left almost 3 years ago, from this upcoming summer.

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He left without a goodbye, and I missed him in the beginning. Over the past 2 years I have had so much hate for him. The thought off him made me want to punch something, someone. I am currently 15 years old. He missed Christmases, birthdays, and many other holidays. Recently, I moved states away from him, my mom seeing no chance of him coming back, and since then, I miss him.

He has ruined my like in so many different ways to the point where it hurts. I want to see him again, but to the point that it will hurt, I don't know. Fathers love their children. I haven't seen my daughter in years - not because I don't care, but because her mother and grandparents ripped my heart out of my chest. I was cheated on, beaten, and jailed.

To top it off, my car was stolen, I was kicked out of my house, and robbed by my ex-wife. There is a system designed to separate fathers from their children.

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It happened to me and my daughter. I love her but hate her mother, grandparents, and the army of enemies standing between me and my child. Just remember that our life doesn't have to stop because someone else decides to be selfish. We are responsible for our outcome and to break that cycle with our future. Other people should not have that control over our emotions, even if it's our parents. We determine our happiness. We control how our story ends. Let's pick ourselves back up and be better people than those who abandon us. Let's show that we are different and won't ever abandon those who love us.

I'm praying for you all. Yes, I relate to this. My dad left me when IO was just turning 10 years old. His significant other mistress walked straight to me, my mom, and my siblings while we were in the mall. Forgiveness is your ONLY way out. It's so easy to type, but it's so much harder to perform. Trust me, I know.

I always felt as though my father didn't love me or want me. The truth is that he was ashamed.



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He couldn't stand my mom and didn't want me to see the arguments. He couldn't face me after things not working out with my mom. He couldn't face me when he didn't have the funds for child support. My escape from this pain began with sexual promiscuity, short lived friendships, disrespecting my mother, and ultimately giving up a child of my own in a way I will forever regret. I remember being suicidal in my teens and thinking that was the only way out of hell. I thought I was in hell. Everyone had a daddy except me. I believe that the love of a father for a little girl is the most important bond on this earth and I never had the chance to experience that bond.

I come from a race and culture where fathers run. They don't walk away, most run.