I love going to barbecues and parties, to church and out for dinner with friends, but generally speaking, one activity a day is more than enough for me.
Lazy Parenting Rule #1: Ignore Your Kids
OK, let's get real: I'd probably be just fine with one activity per week. Does that make me anti-social? I couldn't be by myself all the time, certainly. I know I would miss people after a while with no human contact I would, right? I can rarely recall feeling lonely as an adult I always have lots to think about and lots to do. I'm entrepreneurial and always have ideas brewing, so there's never a shortage of things I could be doing. There's a reason I've worked from home for the past 15 years.
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When I worked in an office setting, I loved my colleagues. I enjoyed chit-chatting, and it was nice to have people there to bounce ideas around with. But in my estimation, working from home, I get done in three hours what I used to get done in eight. I rip through my work and never miss a deadline, making for satisfied clients and a happy Holly. When I ventured into parenthood just over 10 years ago, honestly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Prior to having my daughter, I had already worked from home for a few years.
This meant I could schedule meetings when I wanted to, but was rarely in situations where I had to be with people. Then along came my daughter: My daughter who hated napping because it meant being away from people. My daughter who was never happier than when she was out and about, surrounded by lots of people, noise and activity. And 10 years in? She still thrives on activity. She could be with friends 24 hours a day. She still has a hard time falling asleep -- I think to her, it means giving up on all the fun and activity of the day.
Two and a half years after my daughter was born, Sammy joined us. Oh, did he join us. He came out screaming and didn't stop for months. And you know what was super awesome? He, too, did best when we were out and about. Surrounded by lots of people, noise and activity. And me, the home body and introvert? I was, as you can imagine, somewhat less excited about the prospect of being 'out and about' all day, every day. He didn't do well at home. He cried and fussed and needed constant entertainment and stimulation.
And even as the kids got a bit older, and my high need toddler turned into a home-loving, contented preschooler, the challenges of being an introvert and a mom remained. While we didn't need to be out all the time, I discovered something interesting. Something no one tells you before you have kids. Something someone MUST tell you before you have kids:. As in 24 hours a day. If you're lucky enough to have a baby or child who sleeps through the night and takes naps, you get some down time. If not, you're screwed. When you go to bed, there is no guarantee they will not join you.
When you go to the bathroom, you can be certain they will follow you. I would suggest add some rules into your house rules about respecting property by not colouring on the walls, yes, i know he is only 2! Teach that crayons go only on paper. As far as making messes, set up specific time with your soon for supervised messy play time and only do it outside or in the tub or sink.
If he is getting into these items when you are not supervising him directly, you need to change how things are organized and where these items are kept.
Since when did obedience become the epitome of good parenting?
This article provides great research and backing to argument of the parent texting and checking FB in the park while NOT watching their kids. I have often made this argument to friends that children need to learn to play creatively and also that sometimes being at the park is the ONLY time a parent gets a break. As a mom of 4 young kids 8, 6, 6, 4 when my kids were a couple years younger the park was the only time I got a chance to sit down.
I take my child to the park so she can play — not so I can have yet another task added to my day. I try to combine socializing with park time too! In our case though, we have a few friends who live close by and have kids about the same age as my daughter, so we try to time it in such a way that we meet at the park around the same time. This article made my day! It feels as if you have a camera in our home.
Thankfully, the twins are pretty good at entertaining themselves. It is nice to see that other parents believe in children playing independently, in a secure environment of course.
This summer should be interesting, especially with my duo who like to divide and conquer playgrounds. Hopefully your children will be leading the free-play movement at the park this summer! Enjoy your free-play time, AG! Well done for saying it, you sound like a great parent.
I sure wish I had this info when my daughter was a baby to toddler age. The box idea is great. It has all the goodies like pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, pom poms, googly eyes, feathers, and just crafty things she can glue and use to make interesting art. I stole the idea from a close friend and it has been a great idea. Thanks for a fabulous article that helps to take away any guilt I have for being a lazy parent. I love the cage idea — after working as a school teacher for some years, it is amazing how much kids love rules and if we set clear boundaries and expectations at home, it does take away the endless power struggles around bed time, morning routines and makes our job to instil the right habits, values and beliefs into our kids much easier.
Thanks for writing such a great article — I will share it with my community.
Lazy Parenting Rule #2: Say Yes to TV
Thanks for sharing, Anna. Yet, as a parent, that was one of the hardest things for me to get the hang of… to put my foot down the first time the boundary is pushed and stay firm even if the tears flowed. We have a different approach to toys, though. As a musician and violin maker I have a whole lot of single purpose items I love, so there is value in that, plus who am I to determine what inspires my kids? Glad to know there are other parents who have a similar approach. I think therein lies the dichotomy, Korinthia. A really great article, Ashley because your suggestions are doable and because you have focused on how being less hands-on is better.
It gives parents more time for themselves and kids, the space to explore and learn on their own. Like you, I believe in the Montessori method and the Waldorf method too. My daughter attended Montessori and has grown up to be a self-learner. I so love your suggestion about regularly reading your own book as an example. Children then learn to enjoy reading and to observe adult boundaries and quiet time. I think some the struggle I have with boundaries, and sticking with them is that most boundaries are fluid.
Your framing of boundaries gives me a nice way to think about them and explain them to my daughter when she pushes back and tries to make an exception the new rule. What a fantastic article! I can definitely take some of your advice.
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However, I think the headline is something of a misnomer. Marcelle, you made me laugh when I read your comment! My parents raised me in this way and I have done the same with my kids. I am so proud of them and I see the merits of parenting in this style. Keep up the good work everyone!
How To Be a Good Parent Through Dedicated "Lazy Parenting" - A Fine Parent
Teachers will thank you! Ah, thank you so much for sharing that, Cheryl! Your methods sound similar to the way my husband and I parent our children. I believe providing a safe, creative environment for the children to explore at their own pace not only fosters learning but also raises more emotionally stable children. I guess we will see someday but so far they seem happy, stable, and creatively engaged in life. Finally a parenting article I completely agree with! I especially love, let them starve. I have lived in many impoverished nations. Let me tell you, there are very few picky little eaters there!
Creatures will eat anything if they get hungry enough seen Survivor?! Whenever I feel guilty about letting them play while I enjoy myself elsewhere, I remember my parents and grandparents. They did not play with their kids all day and we all turned out just fine. Sometimes old fashioned common sense makes sense! Sumitha, you have a lovely blog with quality content.
See the details on accepting your award here http: I agree…todays parenting is getting involved in each and every area of your child.. You are the parent. You are the one who is there for your kids twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. You make sure they are clean and fed and you go above and beyond to give them the best life that you can afford.
You care for them from the little things in their lives, like the dandelions they picked for you, to the big things, like listening to why their teacher hates them. Thanks for the information about identifying lazy parents. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We've done the work for you! Use our well-curated gift guides to save time on gift shopping and spend that time with your family instead!
Rarely experiencing a parentingfail feels great! So, what does lazy parenting look like? If I want to enjoy an adult conversation with my partner, we turn on an episode of Sesame Street for our daughter. If I want to read a book, I do. Lazy Parenting Rule 1: Let Hunger Prevail When did we start thinking it was wrong for kids to be hungry? Let Them Eat Cake A Dartmouth study of toddlers showed that children as young as 2 mimic their parents food choices, even when selecting items in a grocery store. Let your child explore their imagination using simple items from around the home.
Easiest at breakfast, we find. Register for a Netflix account or similar service. Store the majority in a box or closet you can get around to organizing later. Create a Building Box odd-n-ends box for the youngest ones. Empty jars, paper towel rolls, cardboard boxes, and more. Introduce reading time, right away. Read a book for 15 minutes a day, and explain the new daily activity. After all, a little chocolate is better than no chocolate! Outline rules you plan to enforce consistently. Strive to say yes within the boundaries. Rotate the toys from the closet or storage box.
Remember to resupply the Building Box Keep reading! Children are intuitive, and can sense when your willpower is wavering. LR, iPads are tough! Thanks for reading, and I hope it was helpful!