Love is Crazy

In psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence to describe this temporary state of madness and described the conditions associated with it:.

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The list reminds me of an old client of mine named Stu, a recovering alcoholic. Once, he told me an anecdote about the first time he got drunk at age fourteen. I passed out that night and got really sick, and yet still couldn't wait to have another drink. The sun would rise and the longing set in. I craved the next drink the way my friends longed for a girlfriend.

It startled me to hear how his words could have just as easily described what it feels like to fall in love with another person. The reason for this is simple, if a bit surprising: Magnetic resonance imaging reveals that the nucleus accumbens , the part of the brain that is activated in lovers, is the same part that lights up in cocaine users and gamblers when they act out their addiction. This recent discovery brings to mind the old adage: What we do know, however, is that the craving associated with romantic love is very real. Greek mythology provides us with imaginative and amusing ways to describe the felt intensity of romantic love.

Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty, had a son named Cupid.

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His job, as an archer, was to dip arrows into his mother's secret love potion before he took aim. Once Cupid's arrow hit its target, the victim fell madly in love with the next person he or she saw. This myth has given rise to some of the most extraordinary love legends of all time, including those of Apollo and Daphne, Helen of Troy, Antony and Cleopatra, and Romeo and Juliet.

We now know that the "hit" of romance can be partially explained by biochemistry. Science tells us that the pounding heart that leaves us breathless, trembling, and longing to be with our beloved signifies an overabundance of particular chemicals and hormones in the brain and blood, including PEA phenylethylamine , a natural amphetamine also found in chocolate and marijuana.

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As they float on a sea of PEA, lovers report more sensational and adventurous sexual experiences than they've ever enjoyed before, such as "mile-high sex" and a heightened pleasure in sensory qualities that might normally be a turnoff. Napoleon Bonaparte, for example, once wrote to Josephine, "I'm coming home. As if a generous shot of PEA weren't enough, the love cocktail is also spiked with endorphins , which boost pleasure and decrease pain, and oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and cuddling.

This cocktail infuses us with euphoria and extraordinary energy, which is why sleep and nourishment seem unimportant. Our perspective becomes so skewed that we see only what is good and beautiful in our lover; we're blind to all else. To fall in love is arguably a passive process. For love to last is not.

Long-lasting love results from the necessary work that two people do — the self-work, primarily — to create a strong, durable partnership over time. The preceding post is a modified excerpt of Linda Carroll's new book Love Cycles: Group 8 Created with Sketch. By Linda Carroll, M. Group 7 Created with Sketch.

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A Kind of Madness This first stage of love has been chronicled for as long as human beings have been on the planet. In psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence to describe this temporary state of madness and described the conditions associated with it: Overestimation of the good qualities of the beloved and minimization of the negative Acute longing for the object of one's affection Feelings of ecstasy in the presence of the loved one Deep mood swings from ecstasy to agony and back again Involuntary, obsessive thinking about the other Deep agony when the relationship ends.

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