A Loved Ones Destruction

Moreover, you feel not enough. For all the kind words and actions you give, they seem to fall flat. You begin an internal roller-coaster of grief, anger, and confusion.

You seem to go through the ups and downs of desperately wanting to help her or never wanting to feel for him again. You tussle between guilt at wondering if you played a role in her seeming demise or guilt for feeling oddly relieved when you do not have to deal with him. When a loved one is making dark choices that seem beyond his or her self, and thus you, it is human to feel dark, as well. Yet, the worse thing you can do is forget that you are human, too, and you need to feel love, especially self- love and joy.

Allow yourself to feel because it is those feelings that will help you and your loved one to revive your mutual numbness. When a loved one is hurting from addiction and self-mutilation, he or she is not receiving any emotion particularly, love. You are right to ask and feel the reproach of those questions.

How could they not see their worth? It should be about receiving. The choice to harm yourself and thus, your loved ones, is a choice made by a numb, self-centered person. It may sound cold to say addiction is self-centered but it is. When you are not receiving the love from others, it means you have no self-love.

This blocks you from sharing yourself and caring that the ones you love know their value to you. Self- harm is an egotistical act that validates this person does not see his or her self as a living spirit.

Cheating and Infidelity

Instead, he or she feels like a ghost or a shadow of what they could or should have been. Therefore, receiving love from yourself and thus them is what should be your mission because being right and being happy can have their differences. People change like the chapters in a book. In its insidious and progressive way, addiction slowly erodes the meaningful aspects of life we once cherished most.

• 1. Finances.
• Love and Relating;
• The Clear Will of God;
• Works of William Wines Phelps.

The time we used to spend with our children, our spouse or our friends is quickly replaced by spending time on our drug of choice — either using, trying to use or thinking about using. When our morality hinges on feeding our addiction, we no can longer prudently control our actions or thoughts.

As addiction changes who we are, loved ones become wary to trust our changes. Addiction steals trust from loved ones through our moral compromises and changing personas. The relentless stress of erratic and unpredictable behavior due to addiction causes serious riffs in our interpersonal relationships. Some loved ones may feel responsible, some hopeless, some ignored and some infuriated. However, friends and family typically never feel peaceful while affected by addiction.

October 2018

Addiction is an isolating and depressing disease; not only for those suffering from addiction but also loved ones of addicts. As our addiction progressively grows, it quickly creates a dark shroud of shame and helpless resignation among loved ones. The steady state of worry, anger, despair and guilt among loved ones never leaves any room for joy.

Aside from financial stability, the emotional, interpersonal and mental stress of addiction leads to the overall instability of our relationships. Once addiction has stolen everything else from a loved one, the disease finally begins to deteriorate their hope that a friend, spouse, child or parent can ever overcome their addiction.

As pleading, compromising and ultimatums prove useless, loved ones are often left with nothing but hopelessness and despair. Hope is the final thing addiction steals from loved ones. After hope, there is nothing more addiction can take.