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The Bar/Bat Mitzvah planbook - Glencoe Public Library
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The Family Guide to Spiritual Celebration. John Youth Study Book. A Revised Interpretation of End of Days. The number of people who can be an aliyah can be as high as eight, with the last one being that of the child, who is to the final blessing, which is known as the Maftir. This demonstrates the first real responsibility that a child is accorded in the congregation to illustrate his or her adult status. Other honors can include family members who are allowed to read a section of the Torah as well as tasks that can be taken on in some cases by younger children.
There are also tasks that can be taken on by those who are not allowed to participate in the Torah service. They can help to hand things out, serve as ushers, or even decorate the synagogue for the ceremony and bake refreshments. There is also a tradition for many of those in the congregation to throw nuts and candies at the newly proclaimed adult after the ceremony, and passing out such things is a job often taken on by younger family members.
After the service, many Jewish families throw a celebration. This has been a big change from earlier days, when there was no pomp but simply a declaration of the child becoming an adult. But these celebrations have become an important part of some congregations, particularly those of American Jews. Many more traditional Jews frown upon the seeming need of many families to try and outdo each other in the extravagance of this celebration. This is a prayer over wine that is defined as sanctification.
Red wine is the most commonly used for this purpose and it is decided by the family who will chant the Kiddush. This can be one or more people, depending on their preference. The only one who is required to drink from the goblet of wine is the chanter of the blessing, but some prefer to pass it around so that all may have a taste, or with larger groups, cups may be provided for all. Another blessing that is given is the Motzi, which is the blessing over bread. Bread is a very important part of the Jewish meal, and a braided bread known as challah is used for such a purpose as important ceremonies.
The bread is blessed after the wine, giving thanks for the feast that is to be shared. During the Kiddush, the challah is covered with a cloth, some traditions stating that this is to protect the bread from being embarrassed because the wine is blessed first. After the blessing of the bread, there is no need for blessings to be said over any of the following courses.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planbook
It is usually tradition for a grandparent, or eldest member of the family, to say the blessing over the bread as well as cut it after the blessing. It may then be sliced and then passed around to all present, although some prefer to tear the bread with hands instead of cutting it with a knife. It is then usually salted before being eaten, and then the rest of the meal follows.
A more recent tradition among the American Jews is that of the candle lighting ceremony. Thirteen or fourteen people are commonly chosen to light candles that are often placed on a cake, and sometimes make a blessing over the candles for the child. A Bar and Bat Mitzvahs Page 8 of 9 cake is not always used, however, with some people preferring a candelabra or other setting.
When the candles are lit is also optional, some preferring it before the meal while others wait until after.
Music is often used to announce the tradition, and special words are often said by those lighting them and occasionally by the child as well. During the celebration is also a time when many choose to make toasts to the child and his or her future and to wish that child well.
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The parents might choose to give speeches, and usually anyone is invited to say something if they wish, although brevity is often appreciated. There are many choices as to who can lead this service, from the rabbi to the bar or bat mitzvah. However, there are also those who prefer less formal graces, and they might even include a poem or other prayers.
The conclusion of this grace is a prayer for peace. Music has always been a large part of the Jewish culture; therefore it is often included as an important part of the celebration. The offerings of this can range anywhere from the simple to the more elaborate, depending upon the tastes of those involved. It is preferable to involve the guests with this, and that can be done in a variety of ways, from singing to dancing, which usually includes the hora.
It was developed early in the twentieth century in Israel, and is a group dance, where the dancers are linked to each other in a circle, arms linked and hands on the shoulders of those next to them. This represents the closeness of the community and the equality of value of all of the people involved… After the hora often comes the chair dance, in which the child sits in a chair and then that chair is lifted above their shoulders by those present. They are then danced that way, and often parents and other family members are allowed to share in the feelings of exultation by having their own turn in the chair.
This dance emphasizes not only the individual who is put in the spotlight, but the community around that person who supports the chair and the individual during that time. The sense of community is very important to those of the Jewish faith, and this dance is a demonstration of this.
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