This could be what is keeping you from truly helping your son reach beyond his addictive lifestyle. Openness, Honesty, and Forgiveness are the key components to establishing trust. In order to get a message across to and absorbed by a teen, it is crucial for parents to establish a sense of trust. This trust is exactly what will get your child to open up, and provide more details about his or her drug use.
How can you do this exactly?
The 4 Stages of Trust When Your Addicted Loved One Comes Home
The first step will be to relate to your teen. Perhaps tell him a story about a mistake you made in the past, and how it negatively impacted your life. Welcome your teen to do the same, to be open and honest about the facts he or she has been trying to hide. Your son or daughter may be most concerned about disappointing you.
Let your child know that it is okay to confide, that you are willing to listen and that there will be no immediate repercussions. By doing so, you will be better able to discover what extent of help is needed, and further, establish enough trust where your child will expect you to do what is best.
The most significant way you can help someone battling addiction is to show them how and where treatment is available. The extent of help and type of treatment may vary depending on the substance s he or she is using.
Join a family support group. Family is a vital part of a successful recovery. Your teen needs you to be there for him, as a solid entity, every step of the way.
The 4 Stages of Trust When Your Addicted Loved One Comes Home
Joining a family support group can help you better understand the disease of addiction, and talk with other parents in the same position as you. Together, you can learn how to heal, how to grow, and how to help your drug addicted child. This is the first thing that needs addressing. I would strongly recommend that you get some counselling or group support from someone qualified in working with the partners of addicts. You need to find out who you are after all this and most importantly, what you want to happen now.
I would suggest that you make it absolutely crystal clear that if there is to be any talk about going forward together as a couple, he must address his problems with someone qualified to help him. Addiction and all its related problems are incredibly difficult to overcome alone.
Recognising and reaching out for help is often one of the first signs that someone is ready to start the road to recovery.
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But if he is asking you to stay with him, you should let him know you mean business about both of you getting help. I want to say too, that obsessing about this other woman is actually the proverbial red herring. They seek solace and support from all over the place. Your trust and what you thought you had has been severely dented but although going over and over what happened can seem inescapable, this is not the place to start. No one made him do this and I would suggest you see it as part of a much bigger problem for which he needs help. I can appreciate that my rather strident tone here might feel overly assertive.
Partners and kids are usually the collateral damage where addictions are concerned.
How to Help my Drug Addicted Son
The legacy can and often does last for years. Of course being supportive to a partner who wants to sort themselves out is an essential part of their recovery. But it really is very important to understand just what is meant by healthy support as opposed to a collusive one. These are often confused and confusing.
- Are you in need of help?!
- CATEGORIES.
- Private lives: I can't trust my heroin addict lover | Life and style | The Guardian.
- The Girl Who Wished for Rain (The Dry Land Happenings Book 1);
- You are here.
- Unexpected Places.
- Schönes Deutschland Teil VI: Mecklenburg-Vorpommern (German Edition).
Although it might be hard to hear, getting a real clarity about which one you might be supplying is essential so you can do more or less as required. Spending time with a qualified therapist will help you to sort out your own mind and I cannot emphasise enough how important this is both to you, the family and interestingly, to the addict. From what you say, it looks like you and your husband are at a crossroads. The man you love or loved is still there but for the time being and maybe for longer, he is unavailable to you.
This is a consequence of addiction.
But a word of hope here too. Family recovery is possible. Some families find a way through.