Susan did everything right medically — annual breast and gynecological exams, yearly physical, etc. Last April, she very abruptly became seriously ill. After a week of numerous hospital tests we were told she had breast cancer which had likely spread. Fourteen days later three doctors came to her room to tell Susan she had less than a week to live.
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The breast cancer had taken her liver and her kidneys were failing. That evening she passed. January 2nd, I received word from the U. Government that Susan was certified as a victim of radiation exposure from the above ground nuclear testing conducted near Las Vegas, NV during the s — early s. The scientists and decision makers for the above ground testing were fully aware of the nuclear hazards and risks to the general population.
There were atomic cocktails served at atomic bars with entertainment by the atomic performer — Elvis Presley. The museum does not speak to the human cost of the nuclear testing. As of March 2, , the U. However, compensation does not right past federal government atrocities. Forgiveness is out of the question! Moving past the anger is accomplished.
Susan, my wife for 42 years and eternal soulmate asked me to take care of myself and move on with my life. He was an addicted lifetime smoker, and he loved smoking! As much as I hated it! The last six months of his life were tortured and he found no peace as he wrestled with the fact he was dying when others his age were just settling into happy retirement.
As I watched him die I felt very angry at times, angry because he had neglected to look after his health and angry that he was going to leave me on my own. We had been together 15 years and were soul mates, he was the love of my life and to lose him like this was just devastating.
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His last days were heart breaking and truly horrendous but I was with him till he died, as he had requested. I have had to forgive him because ultimately, we all make our own choices about our lifestyles, health and how we live.
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He made his choices, which were extremely detrimental to him, and to me as well…but end of the day they were HIS choices and I finally learned to respect that. I feel very sad that I now have to live alone without my beautiful man, but I have forgiven him. I know how much he loved me, and how much I loved him…that was the important thing really! He was my first love at 17 and we reconnected many years later. He asked me to move in with him which meant a mile journey that I made without hesitation. It lasted a month when he said he had to go back to his wife. I was SO hurt and angry.
He complained of hip pain and I was worried. In two months he was diagnosed with cancer. Then told him that I forgave him for the heartache he put me through. How could I let him go to his grave thinking I hated him? It helped him and lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders.
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He passed away three months later. I still cry every day because I miss him so much but happy that things were right between us before he died.
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Forgive everyone for everything! In the beginning i felt anger towards henry cause im sure he felt ill before he went for a nap and he just didnt tell me. But then i remembered what the coroner said that there was nothing i could have done, he was gone within minutes so i couldnt have changed the outcome no matter what i did.
Its not easy to forgive him but it makes me happy that he loved me so much and that he died peacefully.
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Another part of this is that my good friend rick died the same way a week later but in his case his wife tried to give him cpr but it didnt work. By the time the ambulance showed up within 10 minutes he was already gone. That shows me there is nothing i could of done to save henry. We are intensely, viscerally social animals.
Try not to be overwhelmed, but open to the shock, hurt, sense of injustice, anger, or other aspects of the experience. Allow the thoughts and feelings and related desires to have breathing room, and to ebb and flow over time with their own organic rhythms. Forgiveness is not about shutting down your feelings; opening to the experience in a big space of mindful awareness is an aid to forgiveness. Watch out for exaggerating how awful, significant, or unforgivable the incident was.
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Put the event in perspective: Appreciate the value of forgiveness. Cost others I care about? What would it be like to lay those burdens down?
See the big picture. Try not to take wounds so personally. But it does mean, when appropriate, deciding to not make mountains out of molehills. Every relationship requires a bit of give and take. Learning to forgive can make that whole process a lot easier. You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Making your relationship stronger Why forgiveness is one of the most important parts of your relationship. Why forgiveness is one of the most important parts of your relationship.
Communicating clearly The first step towards forgiveness is understanding. Building forgiveness into your relationship Forgiveness is a skill. Is conflict becoming an issue in your relationship?