I Chose to Die (Siren Suicides Book 1)

This is impossible to tell by her writing. There is no hint of an "accent" or any clumsiness with the language. Suicide is one of those things that most people do not think much about, until someone you know takes their own life. It is a subject that then draws you in and at the same time repulses you. In this story Ailen Bright choses to end her life on her sixteenth birthday.

She makes her case to the reader, but her and her best friend do spend quite a bit of time getting high so you wonder if this is all stoner talk or something deeper. Ailen is imaginative and this shows in her naming the sirens serving as legs and the faucet of a very large bathtub. Ailen spends many hours in the bathroom because it is the only room in the house with a lock on the door. The sirens become characters in her mind. From her first unsuccessful attempt at taking her life through her second and successful the story is told in the first person in almost a stream of consciousness.

There is fear, confusion, anger, and determination in Ailen's voice. All the thoughts surrounding death, the process, and what happens afterward flow together. There is a busy and cluttered mind as different thoughts move to the front of her consciousness. The story is good. It is definitely a fantasy, and although I am not a huge fan of fantasy, I followed the story. The story, however, was secondary for me. Anske has a real talent in this respect. Subject matter aside, I found I Chose to Die fascinating.

I Chose to Die (Siren Suicides, Book 1) - Ksenia Anske - Google Книги

It was not what I expected, and perhaps one of the few book I liked for the writing style more than for the story itself. I am sorry I let this one sit on my "To Be Read" pile for so long. Aug 24, Adrian Fridge rated it it was ok Shelves: The premise of this story is anti-suicide. However, the fantasy in this fiction ruins a lot of the empathy factor. Ailen Bright is naive, resentful, and self-destructive. She's the epitome of teenage angst, and we meet her at her darkest hour: The only silver lining is Ailen's best friend, Hunter, and her inanimate siren sisters who decorate the bathtu The premise of this story is anti-suicide.

The only silver lining is Ailen's best friend, Hunter, and her inanimate siren sisters who decorate the bathtub she plans to drown in. The story deconstructs the foolishness of choosing suicide. It's an intense experience watching Ailen struggle with the consequences of her choice. It's even more frightening how she escapes into internal fantasies of siren sisters to avoid the reality of her life. But that leads you only through the first few chapters.

The siren mythology becomes the dominant aspect of the story. See, the sirens are actually real, and they want to help Ailen. I'm told what to think and feel as Ailen runs around indecisively, the focus of everyone's attention as she whines and mopes about not being loved. She doesn't get the opportunity to develop or mature because all her bad decisions are wiped clean, which leads me to believe that if there was no supernatural intervention, this would be a far, far darker story.

The later parts of the novel are groan-worthy. I'd go as far as to say every character loses their depth for the sake of an archetype: The only reason this is part of a trilogy is because nothing is answered except that Ailen isn't dead, her final decision more of an unwilling circumstance rather than a true character turning point. It's less about anti-suicide and more about wish fulfillment. View all 4 comments. Nov 20, JD Estrada rated it really liked it.

I chose to die is the first novel by Ksenia Anske and definitely piques my interest in regards to the rest of this series and her other work. That said, I think I can easily say that this book has four aspects for me that I enjoy in varying degrees. The idea that is the foundation of the Siren Suicides is downright brilliant. A young girl makes a rash decision and the result is that something that she daydreamed about becomes a reality when she becomes a siren. The process isn't I chose to die is the first novel by Ksenia Anske and definitely piques my interest in regards to the rest of this series and her other work.

The process isn't pleasant to say the least and Ailen Bright has gone through a ton of things in her search for making sense of her life. How she becomes a siren and what being a siren entails is a refreshing take and a good slice of fiction that was a treat to read. A strong start, a hit or miss middle, and a hurried finale left me curious to see what happens but I can't say I was fully satisfied as a reader.

I think Anske could have offered a better resolution rather than a tie in for her next book and the last two chapters felt a bit rushed for me. When Ksenia takes her time to describe something and reveal a new concept bit by bit, great things happen. When her hands are trying to keep up with a story bursting forth, some pages feel as if they could have benefitted from a little marination.

Like I said though, it's a strong start and it shows that when she hits her stride good things happen on a page. Ailen and her transformation take off when you're riding on descriptions and her internal monologue. Hunter is a bit of an odd character. Canosa has moments when I love her and moments where I can't really see her intentions. Finally, Papa Bright is an intensely dislikable Ailen consistently refers to him as Papa, and having seen Stranger Things recently, I can easily say that anyone called Papa is going to be awful.

Papa and his Maserati and his fancy shoes is an awful antagonist that is pretty much instantly hatable. There's A lot to dislike there and he consistently delivers. The only aspect that was more miss than hit for me, was the dialogue. Often times I was engaged with the descriptions but was knocked out of it with dialogue that at least for me missed the mark. I know Ailen is a teenager that's gone through a lot of things, but she kept stumbling back to the same thought patterns that would bite her in the tail.

That said, I still enjoyed the book even though it took me a while to read and I will be reading more work from the author. If you want a different take on fiction with a great concept, check this out. Even with its flaws, it has something to enjoy. Oct 10, Lauryn April rated it liked it.

I have somewhat of a love-hate relationship with this book. Ksenia Anske definitely has some talent. She can write beautifully descriptive scenes, and has created unique characters with a storyline that felt new and different. However, too heavy of descriptions weighed down the plot, making this book tough to get through.

Ailen Bright is a rather damaged character. I understood her thought process and why Ailen makes most of the choices she does. She makes a number of comments aloud that I thought would have been more likely for her to have just internalized. She seemed a little too wishy washy about that.

I do commend her, however, for taking on the serious themes that are in this book and exploring them honestly. There is some beautiful imagery in this book; I particularly love how the souls were described as sounds. Anske displays some true talent with her writing. However, while the imagery was well written, there was way too much of it.

I feel like large chunks of detail could have been cut without affecting the storyline. At one point they were driving through town and there was so much detail it felt like I was being given directions, it was just unnecessary. The excessive imagery makes parts of the book feel drawn out, and overall the pacing feels off.

To read more of Lauryn April's Reviews go to http: Nov 21, Laura rated it really liked it Shelves: This was a deliciously dark read, and I was hooked from the beginning. Ailen often thinks of the world in numbers, calculating durations and distances and memorizing every number associated with her birth. Here, for the most part, it was well done—it felt real, as if I were Ailen being slapped and yelled at.

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Later on, however, the father felt less real, more two-dimensional All being said and done, I agree that it could still use some tightening, and occasionally the prose is a bit choppy. This book gets a solid 4: Aug 08, Cassandra Thebookishcrypt rated it liked it Shelves: Since making the decision to commit suicide, her life is thrown upside down and she starts uncovering things along the way. I wasn't a fan of her character most of the time. How she reacts to her father I wanted to slap some sense into her!! At times she had the backbone I crave in a main character but most of the time, it was nowhere to be seen.

And that, made me mad. He is paychotic and the worst type of human being imaginable. He disgusted me, to put it bluntly. I loved the illustrations at the top of each chapter!!! Only thing I have to say about that is that they were sort of spoilers. If you don't mind knowing what happens in the chapter then it isn't much to think about. But, for me, I would've liked more mystery. I saw quite a few things coming which didn't make it enjoyable for me. I also felt this book to be a little It just seemed everywhere and sadly, I didn't really get anything out of it.

There are too many unanswered questions so I shall continue reading the next two! Sep 02, M. O'Neill rated it it was amazing. I was lucky enough to read Siren Suicides' second draft, back when it was one big volume. The majority of the warts had been eliminated at this point. I re-read the final release.

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Most criticism for this book is in regard to the writing. Yes, it is florid, and yes, it is almost disorienting in the gold release. It really helps set the tone for this "undead" world in which Ailen exists. Ethereal and dreamlike and sad. I think Anske hit the nail on the head by choosing to employ such l I was lucky enough to read Siren Suicides' second draft, back when it was one big volume. I think Anske hit the nail on the head by choosing to employ such language for this type of a book.

Wouldn't work with another type of YA fare, say, The Hunger Games, where the action is stark, quick and brutal. Yes, Siren Suicides is brutal at times, but this milieu needs a penning that is slower, providing more for the reader to chew on. This form is perfect for this kind of setting. Aug 22, Deyanira Villalta rated it really liked it. I was privileged enough to start reading while she was still writing it. The evolution from one book to a trilogy has been exciting to watch. I have enjoyed the story of the main character as I have never read a book quite like this.

The story line is original and moves at a good pace. Looking forward to finishing Book 2 and starting Book 3. Sep 25, Rachel Barnard rated it it was amazing. It all starts with a death wish, hope for paternal love, and Ailen wanting to get revenge on her father for what he did to her and her mom.

Ailen Bright was the daughter that was supposed to be a son. She wa It all starts with a death wish, hope for paternal love, and Ailen wanting to get revenge on her father for what he did to her and her mom. She was created by the Siren of Canosa and the three underling Sirens: Pisinoe, Ligeia, and Teles. They hunt for souls and are hunted themselves by Siren Hunters. Will Ailen learn to accept who she is? Will she be able to accept the life she jumped out of? I have read Rosehead and Irkadura and I know she is a special person and a special writer.

The Siren Suicides was written as a three part book, as Ksenia pointed out at a live reading, because it was too long to be one book. The point being that a reader cannot simply read one book, but needs to read the entire series as if it is one lengthy novel. This review, then, is of the entire three-part series. I have found that in Ksenia Anske. This is a book well worth listening to as an audiobook if ever the author converted her novels into audiobooks.

My blood is concentrated seawater pumped through my veins by a dead heart. Eating my dinner, humans served live, their souls draped over the garnish of soulless siren. They have powers of oneness with the water, not superpowers, but a true calling with the natural element. What baffles me about the Sirens is how they are not discovered by any other than the Siren Hunter s when they presumably have killed so many. Sirens feed on souls and Ksenia gives life to the very essence of a person using all her senses so that the reader is enveloped in a short truth of a person: No wonder sirens find them so tasty.

Ailen is not the perfect character. She bugs me at times throughout the books. She is moody and stubborn. I want to sympathize with her so badly that I believe everything. When she gets upset at herself for her shortcomings and when she breaks her promises to herself, giving in to her weakness, I want to tell her that she is not perfect and that is alright.

I want to give her the words she craves from her father. Anske has a knack for creating characters you want to comfort and protect. Ailen Bright is such a strange troubled character that I held my breath as I wondered what she would do, what would happen to her next. Anske delivered the only logical conclusion to the story. The only major shortcoming was the length of the three novels combined, as they only work as parts of a whole. On a final note, this series is based in Seattle and is entirely true to the environment of Seattle and the characteristics including weather one can find in this place and for that I love Anske.

I recommend this book for anyone who enjoys the imagination of Neil Gaiman, the seduction of a vampire book, anything else by Ksenia Anske, or a fantasy suicide novel. Jun 13, Mihaela Mateescu rated it it was amazing. I started it yesterday, and only abandoned it to selfishly write my own story.

I Chose to Die

Before you assume anything, this was not the case here. My humble opinion is that Ksenia Anske deserves to be read and taken in. Let her live on the pages in front of you, you can just feel the longing for it, and the passion that goes into every turn of phrase. I love the idea of turning into a siren, and continue some kind of existence when all you want is to die and disappear forever.

We all seem to have a fascination with what happens after dying I personally love movies dealing with that , and many writers have dealt with the topic myself included. However, the idea of turning into something not dead but not alive either, something so beautiful, enticing, and lethal as sirens, is just different to me.

Taking an old myth and turning it into something this new and current takes, I think, a lot of talent and guts. This would make a great movie, I can imagine the visual effects involved. The dialogue seems so effortless and flowing, as if the writer has multiple personalities and is able to inhabit each one at a time, by pure choice, and switching between them as fast as the lines switch from one character to another. This whole first book somehow reminded me of Perfume by Patrick Suskind, where the main character processes his environment through the sense of smell.

The siren here processes everything through hearing: One-word sentences just work, but I had to see them used by Ksenia Anske to finally accept it completely. I love the descriptions of the city.

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I feel like I could take them as directions, and follow them to all the places where Ailen goes. These are all over the book, so just go read it yourself! I find myself completely trapped in the story, and need to know how it continues. Please go to www. I will update this post after I read the other two. Aug 20, N. Layne rated it liked it Shelves: I can't give this book anything less than three stars because at times I was blown away. During the first quarter of the book, when the MC attempts and commits suicide I was immersed in this book. This introduction wasn't shock value.

It was a well written, emotionally potent, and complex opening that I really connected with. There were some additional moments in the body of the book that were written just as well, and these scenes indicate that this book could have been amazing.

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If it had the t I can't give this book anything less than three stars because at times I was blown away. If it had the time to breathe. I know how this story was created. I have been following it on Twitter. Six drafts were done in a year and a half of this 3 book series. And I love her dedication. But her later drafts would have been more effective if there was a long period of time between drafts, like I am talking at least a year. For the author to mature and grow and learn how to avoid all the writing errors that make it really obvious that this book is someone's first book.

There is no point in making a long list of every error that is in this book besides battering the author, so I will only mention a few things to explain my point. One thing that really pulled me out of the story was the MC knowing information without having to work to gain that information in anyway. For example, she knows how her siren powers and body works without anyone telling her. She knows what is going on in other character's heads without them expressing it.

I really don't believe that all of this is because she is a siren and she was perfectly good before. Another thing that jerked me out of the story was the writing style. At times there were paragraphs of purple prose that really added nothing but flowery language to the story. That should have been cut. At other times there were paragraphs of technical telling, especially in regards to emotions of characters, that also should have been cut.

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