Maybe the girl was jealous of your new outfit and said you dress like a skank. Maybe a guy said you're not a good writer because he's jealous that you just published a story. Maybe the person was just in a bad mood and felt like taking it out on someone. Whatever the reason, remind yourself that it had little to do with who you are.
Put yourself in the person's shoes. Understand where he is really coming from. Though the words will still sting, it might make you feel better. If your coworker yelled at you for no reason, but you remember that he is going through a divorce, then you'll start to be a bit more understanding, won't you? Look for the grain of truth. Okay, so maybe the criticism was delivered in a way that was completely mean, unnecessary, and hurtful, and most of the things that were said were way off base. Maybe your co-worker said you were "a complete mess" or your friend said you were "totally selfish" for what you think was no reason at all.
Take a minute to think about it, though: Have you been known to be a little selfish from time to time? If so, then maybe you should reconsider your actions without getting hurt by the way the criticism was given. Sure, it's very hard to take someone seriously if they are yelling at you, calling you names, or generally treating you with completely disrespect. This makes it nearly impossible to take a word they say seriously.
But if you want to be the bigger person, try to find the underlying message if there is one. Remember that words can never hurt you. What was that thing your mother told you about "sticks and stones" not being able to break your bones? Sure, you thought it was stupid in third grade, but now, you're a lot older, and it's starting to make sense.
In the end, destructive criticism isn't made up of bullets, swords, or atomic bombs -- it's just a series of words connected together in a way designed to make you feel terrible. So, remind yourself that criticism only consists of a bunch of words. Criticism can't steal your money, slap you across the face, or crash your car. So don't let it get to you. The most important thing you can do is maintain your confidence. No matter what people are saying about you, you have to stay strong, remember who you are, and not let other people influence your own self-worth.
Being confident doesn't mean thinking that you're flawless, but it does mean loving who you are and how you look. If you're truly confident, then you won't let haters get you down and make you think less of yourself. If you're unhappy with who you are, ask yourself why. Make a list of a few things you don't like about yourself and figure out what you can change. Being confident also means accepting the things you cannot change about yourself. So, you don't like that you're so tall. Do you plan on slouching for the rest of your life, or will you start to love your long legs after all?
Hanging out with people who make you feel good about yourself will also go a long way in making you feel more confident. If you're hanging with people who always bring you down, then yeah, you're not going to feel good about yourself. Keep doing what you're doing. Will you start participating less in class? Or your co-worker has told you you're too type A.
Are you going to stop being who you are if it's working for you? If you haven't received a valid criticism and know that what people are telling you is only only being said because of jealousy, anger, or mean-spiritedness, then there's no need to change your routine to please people. If the criticism has no basis whatsoever, then the best thing you can do is to ignore it completely. Don't feel bad if you're not able to push all of these negative words aside right away. It takes practice to stop caring about what people think. Part 3 Quiz If the criticism has no basis, the best thing to do is: Confront the person and ask why they said it.
Combat the criticism by explaining that they're just jealous of you. Make a list of your best attributes.
Simply ignore the criticism and walk away. A person may be sensitive due to various reasons. Some people are born sensitive and some as a result of traumatic or negative events in life. Think about where your sensitivity comes from. Are you sensitive only in certain situations? If yes, write them down and think how you can change your perspective about the situation. If self- evaluation doesn't help or if you have problems dealing with them, consult a counsellor. If you are sensitive to even constructive criticism, it's time to change the way you look at it.
If the criticisms are destructive and baseless, ignore them and be comfortable and confident the way you are. Not Helpful 4 Helpful How should I handle an argumentative student who has trouble accepting criticism? Not Helpful 3 Helpful My friend told me I'm annoying. I was pretty bummed about it, but my other friends told me she just says things without thinking.
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What should I do? If she does it again, she is either impulsive or really doesn't like you. Either way, keep a lookout. It might be time for new friends. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 8. How do I must respond to destructive criticism like "You are so fat! Or give a blank facial expression? You can't control the thoughts, words, or actions of others.
To attempt to do so is folly and will only leave you exasperated. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 7. I am very sensitive. Something mean or critical said by family and friends stays with me a long time and I can't even get good sleep at night. What can I do? Tell the people who hurt you about how it makes you feel.
They may not realize they are upsetting you.
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Not Helpful 6 Helpful What should I do if a classmate of mine or a friend does not get good grades while I do and they say that they can do better if they start studying? Then encourage them to start studying so their grades reflect their true potential. This sounds more like friendly competition than criticism. Don't worry about what the say.
You're doing well, so you have nothing to worry about. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 3. Speak with him during his office hours, and let him know that you are feeling personally affronted by his criticism. He may have a reason behind it. If not and he blows you off, you can always report him to the Dean.
Not Helpful 8 Helpful 9. People used to criticize me because of my looks, which lowers my confidence. How can I deal with this? It nice to feel pretty or feel confident, but looking good pales in comparison to having good character. Take care of yourself and try to look your best because you are valuable and by doing so you're honoring the valuable person God created. Aside from that, give it no further thought, because your looks will only become a prison if you allow them to solely or even partially define your value.
Not Helpful 3 Helpful 4. How can I stop crying when someone makes a constructive criticism to me? Not Helpful 6 Helpful 5. One minute my friends parents are nice, and the next minute they are making little digs at me. I never used to be this sensitive, but when I lost my mother to cancer things changed. Is it possible they're joking around with you in a way you're just not used to?
If that's potentially the case, they won't know it upsets you unless you tell them how you feel. If you tell them, and the behavior doesn't stop, you should just walk away when they say something negative if you must be in contact with them. It might also help you to talk to a mental health professional counselor, therapist, etc.
Not Helpful 3 Helpful 3. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube. Tips If the criticism is faulty, ignore what has been said or contact the person who sent the criticism. Criticism means constructive advice pointing out your faults.
If you are trying to deal with insults, read the articles in the related wikiHows. You should be polite with people so that they will not use harsh words all the time. Warnings Don't flat out tell the person they are wrong and should "stop flaming you", this doesn't make a difference whether they are right or not.
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People might think you are weird if you tell people to criticize you. Article Info Featured Article Categories: Featured Articles Criticism In other languages: Omgaan met kritiek Print Edit Send fan mail to authors. Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. SP Suveera Purohit Mar 5, It does help you to channel your thoughts and work in the right direction. It's true that not everyone is perfect, but that doesn't mean that only because someone criticized us, we must turn cynical about ourselves.
Positive approach is the key pathway.
How EQ helps
SR Sandip Roy Aug 9, It is light to read, yet delves deep into the important nuances. This article is well written and helped me. Suggestion for me and other readers is to keep coming back to this article to internalize the techniques so they embed in action. PW Phyllis Wilson Aug 19, I realized that there are some things you should change, some things about yourself you should embrace, and sometimes it is worth while to take a second look at working in a negative environment.
AJ Angela Johnson May 5, I like the idea of turning a negative circumstance into something positive! A Anonymous Apr 29, This article would have been better if it mentioned how to ignore destructive criticizers, but still it's best.
SB Shweta Bangar Aug 9, I am oversensitive and often take things personally. I was planning on dumping it in a few minutes. If someone has the courage to tell you your presentation stunk, don't waste time explaining that you needed more time to prepare or you didn't know who your audience would be. OK, this one comes with a caveat. Obviously, you shouldn't automatically take the fall for something you didn't do, and there are circumstances when you'll need to defend yourself.
But in general, keeping a learning mindset when it comes to criticism will bring the most benefit. When you see yourself as right all of the time, you're missing something. Politicians and spin doctors are experts at this.
How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It
But refusing to tackle issues head-on is not only bad form, it's also self-defeating. For some people, it's always the other guy's fault. Those individuals usually end up pretty lonely. We can't control others, but we can work on ourselves. When we accept criticism, apply it, and move forward, not only do we benefit--but others benefit from our example. Let's go back to that opening story. Although I learned a major lesson that day, we could argue that David didn't respond with great EQ.
But I took his words to heart, asked him why he felt the way he did, and learned from his honesty. But if you work at controlling yourself and your emotions, every situation becomes a chance to learn and grow--just like that one from years ago did As a young teen, when Dad came home and asked why I hadn't taken the garbage out, I would respond: And therein lies the moral: Nobody's perfect; we won't always respond in the best way possible.