Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. The power of this extraordinary book - and the riveting and provocative read it provided -- was not a complete surprise. Freyd is a distinguished research psychologist and Birrell a skilled clinician, both contributors to a seminal body of psychological research on trauma, memory and betrayal: Why do we sometimes forget traumatic events?
Why and how do we remember them? Why and how do we find ourselves stunned when we discover betrayals that it seems everyone else had seen all along?
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Why do we blind ourselves to truths that much later seem so obvious and clear? But this work did surprise. And it provided the kind of profound insights that informed the work I do in a very different field. Freyd and Birrell take a complex body of research on betrayal and clearly and accessibly bring it to life through the lives of real people. These are complex human beings, struggling with fully-human contradictions and anxieties, who face nothing less than the collapse of the most basic assumptions about safety, security, and self. Why, they ask, didn't I see that my secure world was about to be shattered by a lie, an infidelity, a betrayal?
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Freyd's and Birrell's subjects are so richly drawn that what society often caricatures as the implausible gullibility of the betrayed is revealed to be a much more basic and powerful human response, a way we all protect ourselves from the deep hurt of having had a supposedly trusting relationship suddenly ripped apart. The larger issue I am now stuck on - and the reason I think people from a variety of backgrounds and disciplines need to read this book - has to do with the question of evil with which my colleagues sociologists and criminologists, for the most part deal.
Much of our work tries to understand large-scale, collective acts of extreme violence that can also rip away our most basic feelings of safety and security. But as I was pulled into the world of individuals who have felt the sting of betrayal, I found myself questioning the most basic assumptions of what constitutes evil behavior. Might our focus on genocides, natural disasters, and acts of terror obscure the extent to which cruel acts of betrayal - sometimes occurring behind closed doors and without explosions and mayhem - are among the most painful and traumatic experiences we can know as human beings?
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And might the perpetrators of these betrayals fully deserve a fully prominent position in any hierarchy of evil? I may not have any answers, but Freyd and Birrell have brilliantly brought these questions to life with profound wisdom and insight. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase.
This book has been so helpful for me. It's helped me to understand how on earth it was possible that certain people didn't see what was being done to me when I was a child. It's helped me to understand how someone can tell me a story that clearly indicates they were aware of what was happening on one level, but had talked themselves into believing something else was happening. I could never understand that before. It's also helped reinforce my understanding of why amnesia was my only choice in the midst of what was being done to me.
There is also a clear presentation of what led to the whole False Memory Syndrome debate that was very helpful. I'm not entirely keen on some of the writing style, but that's a personal thing and doesn't detract in any way from the power of the content of this book. I salute the authors for bringing this much needed information into the world. This is an eye-opening insightful book that describes how so many of us are literally blind to the ways we are betrayed in life. The book describes the psychological reasons why our brains, in attempting to protect from traumas, make us reject obvious betrayals.
There are many kinds of betrayals, from those within families, relationships, and our institutions. The notes from this book that follow are for them, as well as the public who wish to learn more in general about this topic.
Blind to Betrayal by Jennifer J. Freyd
The book goes into far greater explanations and does so in a manner that is understandable to the general public. Complex psychological issues are clearly and expertly presented. Policy students may wish to note both how governments can be involved in betrayals. Further, the general issue itself creates societal issues that need to be addressed by our intellectual disability services.
For those seeking a review, this is an excellent book for people who wish to learn more about this area of Psychology. It may be useful to learning more if one has experienced betrayal or if one seeks to learn more about others who have been betrayed. This book will be extremely helpful. For those seeking some notes about some points from this book, my notes are as follows: Our brains often operate is convoluted ways, according to the authors. Sometimes when the mind deduces that someone emotionally close has evidently committed betrayal, the mind reduces the immediate pain from that recognition by transforming the betrayal evidence from recognizing it towards rejecting it.
This though may be worse in terms of long term pain, especially if the betrayal continues and continual emotional pains are inflicted. The authors recommend that people admit to themselves and others when they discover betrayals. What may emerge from this is hope that the mind may process this towards leading to healing. The alternative of continued blindness may be more emotionally harmful to the betrayed as well as allowing the injustices of further betrayals to continue. Children may suffer betrayal blindness when it comes to being abused or discriminated against.
There is a downside to being blind. We risk being revictimized and we risk a loss of self-esteem. Others can be victimized if we do not speak of the betrayal. Shame plays a part in keeping us silent. Telling others is risky, but you take back your power when you do. There is a chance for hope and justice when we speak. Betrayal blindness is not seeing what is in front of our faces. Others can see what we do not. We need to see the world as a safe place. We need to trust people and we need stability in our lives.
It makes sense for us to block awareness. When children are betrayed, it is usually by being abandoned and left helpless, being rejected, or someone withdrawing love. This allows him to remain attached to the abuser. Jen rated it it was ok Oct 04, Sean rated it it was amazing May 22, Jody Crowley rated it it was amazing Jan 08, Amanda rated it it was amazing Sep 06, Amber Erkan rated it it was amazing Jun 28, Molly rated it it was amazing Jul 30, Kellie Barlow rated it it was amazing Jun 22, Catherine rated it it was amazing Jun 24, Rachel Shepherd rated it it was amazing Feb 14, Laramie Turner rated it really liked it Mar 24, Bryson rated it really liked it Jul 13, Jan 14, YHC rated it liked it.
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Blind to Betrayal: Why We Fool Ourselves We Aren’t Being Fooled
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