Stay on target

He pushes Emma into the web and leaves her to die as he runs to the clock tower with the sword. As the spider wraps Emma in its web and drains the life out of her nightmares for days , the sword is filled with her power.

Desensitization: The Most Proven Method for Reducing Phobias, Anxiety, and Fear

Gideon opens up a portal for the Black Fairy to come through. Thankfully, Rumpelstiltskin runs into the spider house and saves Emma. It gets worse though. Emma was unconscious just long enough for the portal to open for a second. That was enough time for the Black Fairy to appear in Storybrooke.

Armed with a bag of jewels from Agrabah, he tracks down Blackbeard for a magic bean. He starts a game of poker, wagering his ship against a bean. He loses the hand but neglects to mention that his ship is back in Storybrooke. Blackbeard uses the bean and Hook thinks of returning home to Emma. Hook and Blackbeard end up in Neverland, being chased by the Lost Boys. They find a boat by the water and Blackbeard uses it to abandon Hook to the feral children. Finally, while all this was happening, Regina was trying to break the sleeping spell placed on Snow and Charming.

As he leaves, he directs Henry to the back of the book to find the source of his troubles. He implies that no one wants to be around for that. We finally have a formidable villain for the season, who will no doubt take more than a single episode to deal with. Gideon just never worked as a villain, and I guess now we know why. All three storylines moved the plot forward in interesting ways. Now, the show has a focus again. There is a strong villain, and the promise of a final battle to come. He was 23 and had never had a date. Being with a member of the opposite sex who is a member of the family.

Being with a member of the opposite sex who is not a member of the family. Seeing a less attractive member of the opposite sex that I know not so well. Smiling at a less attractive member of the opposite sex that I know not so well. Saying A hi or A hello to a less attractive member of the opposite sex. Talking to a less attractive member of the opposite sex for a short time. Conversing with a less attractive member of the opposite sex for a long time. Capitalize on free information when conversing with a less attractive member of the opposite sex.

Utilizing open-ended questions in a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, who is less attractive. Seeing a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex I know not so well. Smiling at a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex I know not so well. Saying A hi or A hello to a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex. Talking to a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex for a short time. Listening to a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex for a short time.

Conversing with a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex for a long period. Capitalizing on free information when conversing with a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex. Utilizing open-ended questions when conversing with a moderately attractive member of the opposite sex. Seeing a very attractive member of the opposite sex that I know not so well. Smiling at a very attractive member of the opposite sex that I know not so well. Saying A hi or A hello to a very attractive member of the opposite sex that I know not so well.

Talking to a very attractive member of the opposite sex that I know not so well. Listening to a very attractive member of the opposite sex that I know that so well. Conversing with a very attractive member of the opposite sex for a short time that I know fairly well. Conversing with a very attractive member of the opposite sex for a long period that I know fairly well.

Smiling at each other.

Asking for initiating activities together. A Could I walk you out to your car. In asking for a phone number, give yours first. Asking him or her for a date. Asking him or her for a dinner date. Putting your personal feelings forward. A You have a warm and sensitive nature about you.

A You are a very beautiful person. A Being close with you sure makes me feel nice inside. A I would like to get to know you better. A I am beginning to like you a lot. Opening up and saying what you feel about him or her. Express compliments B feelings about the other person. Expressing physical B sexual approaches. A hug B an embrace. A caress B a total body caress. Being close to one another so as to share and enjoy each other.

Non-demand pleasuring of your partner.


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This will give you a convenient reference during the desensitization sessions. Please write your items on one side of the card only, as the other side will be used for record keeping. One might be a positive outcome scene related to your hierarchy situation. As Discussed above in the introductory section of the manual, people are desensitized to the anxiety-evoking items on their hierarchy by stopping the anxiety with relaxation. In order to do this, you must first learn to relax completely , and also learn how to achieve this relaxation at will.

The technique which behavior therapists use to relax patients is known as deep muscle relaxation. This technique will help you to achieve a very deep and thorough state of relaxation, enabling you to progress through the desensitization of your hierarchy. Before beginning your desensitization sessions, you should spend at least two half-hour sessions or two days, a half hour per day beginning tomorrow practicing the relaxation technique.

In order to receive the full benefit of deep muscle relaxation, you should observe the following guidelines in relaxation training: Spend at least one twenty-minute session, every other day, relaxing and imaging the steps in your hierarchy. Read and imagine acting out the steps in a setting in which you can carry through the full twenty-minute session uninterrupted.

It is of the utmost importance that the relaxation training sessions as well as the desensitization sessions be carried through without interruption. It is also important that you concentrate completely on each of the relaxation procedures and carry out the exercises as instructed. Both the relaxation training sessions and the desensitization sessions should be carried out in a quiet, semi-darkened room. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on a comfortable bed or couch. It is important that you be comfortable and able to concentrate throughout a training session or a desensitization session.

In addition to practicing the relaxation exercises during an actual relaxation training session, it is helpful to practice the exercises at other times as well. An excellent time to practice is during the minutes in bed before falling asleep. Many people find that such practice not only increases the rapidity and effectiveness of achieving relaxation during a session but also helps them to fall asleep earlier and to snatch periods of relaxation during the day.

When you are able to relax yourself completely in three or four minutes by briefly running through the relaxation exercises, then you are ready to begin your desensitization sessions. Many people need only 2 practice sessions. If you find you need more, stay with them until you feel that you have achieved the ability to relax. Practice them for twenty minutes for two days or until you can relax completely at will.

Having constructed an anxiety hierarchy of from ten to twenty items, and having practiced deep muscle relaxation so that you feel you have achieved the capacity to relax at will, you are ready to begin desensitizing yourself to the hierarchy. Briefly, an item is desensitized by imagining it in vivid and realistic detail while trying to maintain a state of complete relaxation. The item is repeatedly imagined until you are able to imagine it with feelings of complete relaxation and comfort, i. When you are able to imagine a given item with complete relaxation, you then move on to the next item and repeat the process: Imagine each item in vivid and realistic detail while remaining relaxed.

In this way, you proceed through the hierarchy from less to increasingly more anxiety-provoking items B desensitizing the hierarchy item by item. Each item on your hierarchy describes a situation. For the desensitization to be effective it is extremely important that when you imagine the situation described by an item, the image in your mind be as realistic as possible B as if you were actually experiencing the situation.


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  5. An excellent way to make your image realistic is to imagine the situation very vividly and in complete and minute detail. You should imagine all the accessory details of the situation B all the sights, sounds, and smells B that you would be aware of were you actually experiencing the situation. For example, if an item involved your making a date with a member of the opposite sex, you should have an image of the other person B his or her facial expressions B your gestures, etc. You should notice all the aspects of the other person B his or her face, smiles, eye contact, etc. Make the other person seem real and alive.

    Hear your voices and the words you say and notice your emotions and thoughts, etc. You should imagine all these sensations vividly and make them an integral part of your image of the situation. Or, if an item involves your speaking with a high status professor, you should have a very specific and complete picture of yourself and that person B the clothes he is wearing B the way he is standing B his facial expressions B the words that are said between you, and your own reactions and feelings about the conversation. With only a little practice in imagining all the details of a situation, you will soon be able to make your images very realistic.

    The Completion of an Item. It is important for you to know when you have completed an item and are ready to move on to the next item on the hierarchy.

    See a Problem?

    During your training sessions and practice of deep muscle relaxation, you will learn what it feels like to be completely relaxed and at ease. An item is completed when you can experience the feeling of complete relaxation while vividly imagining the item as you do when you practice deep muscle relaxation without the item in mind. One pitfall in this progress is leaving an item before it is really finished. In order for an item to be completed, the degree of relaxation you can attain while imagining it must be total.

    Drawing pictures of 'smiling' spiders can help people overcome arachnophobia

    That means that even if you feel the slightest bit of tension or nervousness, you are not completely desensitized to that item. Stay with the item until you feel absolutely no nervousness, until you feel just as calm as the relaxing exercises. In desensitizing yourself to an item, you first relax completely using what you have learned in the training session. When you are completely relaxed, you then imagine the item vividly. You will soon learn to perceive when tensions and anxiety enter into the imagined scene and interfere with your relaxation.

    If you feel anxiety while imagining the scene, immediately stop imagining the item and imagine a relaxing scene or just focus on relaxing again. You may then try the scene again or add new items to your hierarchy to fill in any A gaps. The number of sessions necessary varies in accordance with many factors. For relatively simple problems, experience has shown that ten to twenty sessions is often sufficient.

    Occasionally fewer are necessary and sometimes many more. However, it is not wise to set a limit or expectations on the number of sessions you will need to desensitize your hierarchy; just proceed step-by-step through the hierarchy B moving on to a new item when you have completed the previous one. In the beginning, when you are working on the low-anxiety provoking items, you may be able to complete several items in a single session.

    Later, as you reach items which provoke more anxiety it may take more time to desensitize yourself to an item B perhaps several sessions to complete a single item. It is an excellent idea to set yourself a regular schedule for the sessions. You will be desensitizing every other day. Since the sessions are only twenty minutes apiece, this should not be a great burden. The setting is basically the same for the sessions as that of the relaxation training sessions: Each session is conducted in the same basic way, according tot he following outline: Sit upright or recline on the chair or couch, making yourself as comfortable as possible.

    Have two piles of cards placed conveniently so that you do not have to reach for them. It is best to have the cards immediately before you, on your lap. Memorize the first items of each stack of cards. Make sure your cassette recorder is within easy reach and locate the beginning of the relaxation instructions on side 2 of the Self-Desensitization Instructions.

    Relax yourself completely using what you have learned from the relaxation training. When you feel relaxed , start your desensitization session. Use the following procedure to guide you: Each trial lasts 25 seconds, during which you keep the image as vividly before you as possible while trying to remain completely relaxed. At the end of each trial, take a 15 second rest, during which you should think about your body getting more and more relaxed. Imagine a positive scene from between each hierarchy scene.

    You should stay with a given item until you can imagine it three consecutive times a block of three trials with absolutely no tension or anxiety of any kind. Remember to stay with each particular item until you have gotten through a complete block of three trials without any anxiety. Then try the difficult item again. You should then modify your hierarchy by inserting one or two items between these two. These new items should be less anxiety-provoking than the one which gave you trouble but slightly more anxiety-provoking than the last one you completed.

    One good way to invent such intermediate items is to consider the situation of the difficult item and then think up ways to make that situation slightly less fearful. If the difficult item appeared very early in the hierarchy, this means that you are starting off with items that are too difficult, and that you should begin the hierarchy with a couple of very easy items and then work up very slowly.

    Thus, if you were working on item 6, for instance, and had not completed it when the session ended, you should start the next session with item 5 and stay with it until you have again imagined it three consecutive times without anxiety. Then go on to 6. On this run-through you should be able to imagine each item on the list three consecutive times without the slightest tension or nervousness.

    If any item still evokes the slightest bit of anxiety, stay with it until it is completely anxiety-free. You may reach the end of your hierarchy before the end of the four weeks or you may not B just work at your own pace. The completion of an item on your hierarchy in desensitization sessions indicated that you are making progress toward the alleviation of your problem. The real test that you are solving the problem, however, is that your ability to imagine a situation without anxiety is followed by an ability to experience the real-life situation without anxiety.

    For some people, such transfer is almost immediate: The lag may range from a few days to several days or weeks, depending on the person and the particular item. Should you have progressed a good way into your hierarchy without noticing any significant transfer to analogous real-life situations, that is, situations related to your target behavior, it is likely that you are not desensitizing the items completely.

    This can often be remedied by spending a full session on relaxation between each group of 5 to 8 desensitizing sessions. Then be sure you are completely anxiety-free before leaving one item and proceeding to the next. After you have completed a few items successfully in your hierarchy , begin to follow this important rule.

    If you end up in a situation that has a negative outcome , you may experience a A set-back. SEEK encouragement and assistance from those who can adequately provide it to you. Having family or friends, or a counselor routing for you can be very helpful. If it is, get help with improving skills.

    A I will have a celebration, trip on Saturday, etc. I will eat dinner only after I ask Sara for a date, etc. The other technique you will be using in this project is role playing, and the remainder of this manual deals with that technique and that of record keeping. Since you have read a substantial amount, you might want to take a break and continue reading in about ten minutes.

    But be sure to read and understand this entire manual! Most of the role playing techniques can be done in your imagination. This is also an effective way to do it if you cannot find a group partner. You will be working on desensitizing yourself to the steps on your hierarchy every other day. In order to maximize your success, you may combine the desensitization procedure explained above with another procedure, role playing. Therefore, you will be alternating desensitization and role playing, doing desensitization every other day and role playing every other day.

    After you have spent two days learning how to relax yourself start on Friday so these days would be Friday and Saturday. Spend one day working on the first one or two items of your hierarchy. Then, on the fourth day, role play the item with another person for 1. The next day, of course, you would be back to desensitization and work on completing the items on your hierarchy which are the first and second step with positively no anxiety in desensitization.


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    You will be alternating these two procedures throughout the experiment B role playing the item s you worked on in desensitization the day before. Briefly, role playing is simply acting out a behavior that makes you feel anxious with someone you feel calm and comfortable with. Using role playing, then, you will A act out each step on your hierarchy. Role playing each step will help you to become less anxious about those situations related to your target behavior.

    You will be using the hierarchy you have constructed and will slowly work your way from step to step by acting each one out until you feel calm and comfortable in the role playing situation. It is very important that your role playing partner be someone your are completely comfortable with.

    This way you can continue to associate a comfortable, relaxed feeling with each step in your hierarchy. His or her characteristics, such as sex and age, can be largely determined by your own preferences. Be sure the person is interested in helping you and willing to work with you about 15 minutes every other day for four weeks. Stress the importance of completing the project to your partner B that the project is important to you and to your psychology grade.

    Be sure that your partner will stay with you through the experiment. It would be very disappointing to you and the experimenters if you were proceeding well with your modification plans and then had to forfeit valuable time in looking for another partner. Often family members or close friends are ideal role playing partners. They are already concerned with your welfare, easily available, and usually the most relaxing people for you to be with. You can present the experiment as a project for your psychology course and tell the partner how he too can benefit from the experience.

    He will learn a technique for modifying some of his own anxieties, help you get a good course grade, and be pleased at your progress with your target behavior. Most of all, make sure the person you pick is someone who takes your project seriously and really wants you to improve. To repeat, then, when picking your role playing partner, make sure that he or she has these characteristics: S He must be a person with whom you are completely comfortable.

    S He must be seriously interested in helping you succeed with your modification plan. S She must be available every other day for 15 minutes over a four week period. Briefly explain these points to the person when you ask him to be your partner: Try to pick up your role playing partner by Monday, March 15, so you can begin to role play the first one or two steps on your hierarchy that day B after successfully desensitizing the item s the day before.

    To repeat, you will be pretending that your role playing partner is someone connected with your target behavior. Therefore, since you are role playing, the sex or age of your partner does not matter. For example, if you are a male who is modifying his anxiety around women, you wouldn't have to pick one to be your role playing partner. You could pick your mother or your father, your next door neighbor B any one person who cares about your progress and who you feel very much at ease with. If you are modifying anxiety around groups or more than one stranger, your role playing partner would A play the role of the group of strangers.

    Role playing is a technique which simulated a real life situation, therefore, your role playing partner can be of great help to you in this project.