Avoid focusing on what wasn't done or 'should have' been done differently. Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself. Try laughing instead of criticizing. Don't put standards on yourself that you wouldn't expect from others. It's great to want to do well, but expecting yourself to be perfect which is impossible and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious cycle.

Using expressions like "I should have" is just a way of punishing yourself after the fact. Replace criticism with encouragement. Instead of nagging or focusing on the negative in yourself and others , replace your criticism with encouragement. Don't feel guilty about things beyond your control. You are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a problem. Apologizing for things and accepting blame can be a positive quality, if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn't feel responsible for all problems or assume you are to blame whenever someone is upset.

Don't feel responsible for everything.


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Just as everything is not your fault, not everything is your responsibility. It's okay to be helpful, but don't feel the need to be all things and do all things for all people. This is taking too much of a burden on yourself AND limiting those around you. Let others be responsible for themselves and their actions -- you shouldn't feel responsible for their happiness.

Do feel responsible for your feelings.

How to Build Self Confidence (with Examples) - wikiHow

Just as you can't "make" other people happy, don't expect others to "make" you feel happy or good about yourself. In the same way, they shouldn't make you feel guilty or bad about yourself. You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. People and events may have an affect on your emotions, but they can't dictate them. People often feel more comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn't consider treating others.

10 tips for improving your self-esteem

Do you criticize yourself with terms like "stupid" "ugly" or "loser"? Would you use those terms to describe a friend? Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated as well as you treat others.


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  • While everyone occasionally has doubts about themselves, low self-esteem can leave you feeling insecure and unmotivated. Either way, there are heaps of things you can do to improve your self-esteem. Make an effort to be kind to yourself and, if you do slip up, try to challenge any negative thoughts.

    BRIAN TRACY

    This can be really hard at first, but practise makes perfect. If you want a few pointers, check out our tips for talking yourself up. Comparing yourself to other people is a sure-fire way to start feeling crummy. Nobody needs that kind of pressure! Exercise is a great way to increase motivation, practise setting goals and build confidence. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.

    One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts see next item with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale , but my goodness this works.

    I want to stop and go watch TV. I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it mentally of course and squash it. Then replace it with a positive one. Only one mile left! Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well.

    Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are.

    Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. Be kind and generous. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule , and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person.

    It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me. One important key to success is self-confidence.

    A key to self-confidence is preparation. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built?

    1. Be nice to yourself

    For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule and fail often. This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it.

    Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It will make you feel more confident.