Hell, zombie condoms actually exist. You can also get zombie dildos and fleshlights, which presumably come in handy after you try to introduce zombie condoms to the bedroom.

~ dark & passionate erotica

People are buying these things, and those people are terrible. Anyone who owns a zombie birdfeeder has a black hole where their personality should be. This has to stop before someone can decorate their entire house with zombie products. Because they will, and then the brains of good taste will have been eaten.

The Zombie Survival Guide is a terrific piece of deadpan humour. Surviving The Apocalypse, and dozens of other titles by authors who may be raccoons in disguise and yet are still selling lots of books, because zombies. Look at how lazily the zombie is thrown into the title. Vampire Hunter, which itself was only made because of the success of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Did you follow that? A work of zombie fiction inspired a work of vampire fiction, which inspired a zombie knockoff because everything must be zombies. And then, of course, you had the inevitable complaints about the World War Z movie not sticking to its source material.

Have you ever been on a zombie walk? If you really feel the need to watch a bunch of people shamble around aimlessly as they moan and spill bodily fluids, go visit a nursing home. Look, I get the appeal of dressing up. Unless you find joy in blocking traffic or making a mess in public, zombie walks are boring. If you want to moan with a lot of strangers, go to an orgy.

User Reviews

Zombie walks are for people who spend so much time watching B-movies they need a genre-themed excuse to go outside. Yoga class boring you? Of course, zombies are known for their love of dance. So please stop advertising zombie kung fu or whatever as the hip new thing that only cool people get. Other people get it, too. Zombie erotica gets one point for bringing something genuinely new to the genre.

Ravaged by the Mutilated Lesbian Zombie Queen

It gets minus all the points for being zombie erotica. Or zombie on zombie, or human s on zombie s , etc. It then goes on to suggest that the zombie apocalypse would be the perfect time to get with the cute co-worker who rejected you while they were amongst the living, finding a way to make necrophilia even creepier.

So for those of you who have always wondered if zombies can get boners, apparently the answer is yes. Baby needs a new pair of cocaine and hookers. Turning our most famous creation into a zombie completely destroys what made the character popular. It would be like redesigning Speedy Gonzales as a quadriplegic, or Pep? Le Pew as not a sex offender. Why yes, there is a ton of official merchandise based on this storyline. Or would you like some Zombie Peanuts?

Or perhaps Zombie Hello Kitty? Why are they zombies? The all-night celebration morphs into a hallucinatory nightmare when they learn their sangria is laced with LSD.


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  • Books by Aster Zhen.
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Not Rated min Drama, Horror, War. In World War II Italy, four fascist libertines round up nine adolescent boys and girls and subject them to one hundred and twenty days of physical, mental and sexual torture. Pier Paolo Pasolini Stars: R min Horror, Thriller. An aspiring model, Jesse, is new to Los Angeles. However, her beauty and youth, which generate intense fascination and jealousy within the fashion industry, may prove themselves sinister. Nicolas Winding Refn Stars: R min Crime, Drama, Horror. A journalist goes undercover to ferret out businessman Harrison Hill as her childhood friend's killer.

Posing as one of his temps, she enters into a game of online cat-and-mouse. R 98 min Horror, Thriller. Majestic mountains, a still lake and venomous betrayals engulf a female married couple attempting to celebrate their one-year anniversary. R min Action, Horror, Sci-Fi. A group of scientists try to track down and trap a killer alien seductress before she successfully mates with a human. PG min Fantasy, Horror, Mystery.

When Eleanor, Theo, and Luke decide to take part in a sleep study at a huge mansion they get more than they bargained for when Dr. Marrow tells them of the house's ghostly past. Jan de Bont Stars: Not Rated 99 min Horror, Thriller. A young college student desperate for tuition money moves into a house that streams content to an X-rated website. After a deranged fan determines the house's location, she finds herself in Jon Knautz , Trevor Matthews Stars: TV 45 min Comedy, Horror, Mystery.

A semi-anthology series that centers on returning characters being terrorized by a serial killer in different locations, including a university and a hospital.

Nine Reasons the Zombie Fad Must Die | Topless Robot

Not Rated min Drama, Fantasy, Horror. A confused religious girl tries to deny her feelings for a female friend who's in love with her. This causes her suppressed subconsciously-controlled psychokinetic powers to reemerge with devastating results.

Vampegeddon - Full Movie English 2015 - Horror

R min Action, Horror, Thriller. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's homage to exploitation double features in the 60s and 70s with two back-to-back cult films that include previews of coming attractions between them. Not Rated min Action, Comedy, Horror.

After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it's up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release. R 94 min Horror. Three American college students studying abroad are lured to a Slovakian hostel, and discover the grim reality behind it. R min Drama, Horror, Thriller. A brilliant plastic surgeon, haunted by past tragedies, creates a type of synthetic skin that withstands any kind of damage. R min Horror.

When a successful country lawyer captures and attempts to "civilize" the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades, he puts the lives of his family in jeopardy. Not Rated 84 min Drama, Fantasy, Horror. After a fight with her boyfriend, a successful female erotic novelist on a book tour of Europe joins her ex and his female friend, with whom she falls madly in love, for a party at a castle owned by a dangerous cult.

R min Horror, Mystery, Thriller. In Victorian-era London, a troubled clairvoyant police detective investigates the murders of Jack the Ripper. Albert Hughes , Allen Hughes Stars: TV 43 min Drama, Horror, Romance. Dracula travels to London, with dark plans for revenge against those who ruined his life centuries earlier.

However, his plan is complicated when he falls in love with a woman who seems to be a reincarnation of his dead wife. G min Horror. A scientist doing research on the paranormal invites two women to a haunted mansion. One of the participants soon starts losing her mind. Not Rated 80 min Comedy, Horror, Mystery. Cindy Lucas , Bridgette B. R 90 min Horror, Mystery, Thriller. An elderly woman battling Alzheimer's disease agrees to let a film crew document her condition, but what they discover is something far more sinister going on.

Action, Adventure, Drama Filming. Set five years after the events of The Last of Us, Ellie and Joel continue their journey through the wasteland of America, encountering even more dangers in their path. R 90 min Action, Horror, Sci-Fi. An elite group of soldiers on a covert mission to retrieve a scientist from an underground lab encounter an ancient evil in the facility.

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While one seeks love with humans the other hungers to dine on the human population of the city.