Me and Lance broke up for a lot of reasons, but the main one was that he thinks I'm constantly waiting for something I want. According to him he isn't that something. At the time I didn't understand, but in the last few months I've been thinking I get what he was trying to say. Gwen nods and her smile is so wide and genuine that I can't help but give her a real smile in return. Lance gets his keys out and we head over to the alley where he parks his car.

Lance refuses to trust the local car park, he worked hard to get his car; I helped him fix it up. He treats that car like it's his baby, which is a source of constant amusement for me and Gwen. I say, live on the edge, park in the car park. It's this magical place just for cars to park in, as the name suggests" I say with a smirk, knowing exactly what reaction I'll get.

Leave my car alone, she's a loner. You should understand that, being one yourself" he says, but his tone is mostly playful. As we get into the car the conversation is easy and normal. Well, normal for us anyway. Mostly teasing each other about everything we can think of. We all drive each other mental, but I love both of them, they're my family as well as my best mates. When we arrive at Elyan's private, and very expensive, primary school Gwen gets out of the car.

She says she'll be back in five minutes and that we have to behave whilst she's gone. Her actual words were " Be back in five, if you're both dead by then be warned, because I'm telling mum Elyan did it.

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I'm sitting up front in the passenger seat next to Lance. We manage about ten seconds of not uncomfortable silence before Lance says,. I shrug, really not wanting to go talk about it, mostly because I'm not even sure what to make of what I was thinking. Of what I still am thinking about.

Lance used to say that my eyes are the one place where I can't lie. I don't like to meet people's eyes really, it makes me feel strange, like I can see things I shouldn't be able to. Things I don't want to see. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair nervously. I try to find the right words, but they won't come so I decide to just go for it. I can't get him out of my head. All of which is true. But what he makes me think of most are the dreams I've had ever since I can remember.

But lately they've been becoming more detailed, longer, and I'm having them a lot more frequently. The stranger reminds me so much of the man in my dreams. In some ways they look exactly alike, but in others completely different. The man from my dreams has strange and enchanting eyes too, but his aren't gold, they're silver with flecks of gold inside the iris.

Both of their gazes are intense. Although the eyes of the man in my dreams are darker, more dangerous. The man in my dreams hair is also darker; it's a natural ebony colour and is much wilder. But they have the same face, the same striking and gorgeous face. A face I cannot let go of no matter how hard I try. I know Lance very well, so I pick my words carefully. There was a time when I would have said whatever I felt like to him. Usually I'm not very good at being open about things, I find it hard to trust, but I can't say exactly why. I know he wanted me to be honest and serious with him, but I couldn't bring myself to be, not right now.

Secondly, Gwen only points out men who she thinks are insert descriptive word of an attractive man here. Lance is smirking now even wider, but again there is still the underlying layer of hurt that I cannot do anything about. Lance puts on a very serious expression and I worry for a moment that he's going to pin me to the spot with one of his outright questions. He loves them because it throws me off. Lance says most of the time he can't tell what I'm thinking, so he loves to send me into a panic. Eventually he says, deadpan,. Only Lance could say something like that so straight faced.


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Lance starts to laugh too and then we're both laughing so hard tears are practically streaming down or faces. Once we calm down a bit we're breathing heavily and our faces are close together, our foreheads touching. My eyes are closed and I can't remember laughing so much in ages.

When I open them I realise Lance is no longer laughing and his expression is quite serious. For a moment I wonder if he's going to say something else to set me off again laughing like an idiot. What I don't expect is for him to lean forward and press his lips against mine. Lips I know very well. I'm so confused that I kiss back on instinct for a few moments before jerking backwards in shock. Lance's hand has moved to my neck and his thumb smoothes over my cheek. His eyes are full of longing, it almost breaks my heart all over again, the same way it did all those months ago when I broke it off.

I did it for him more than me, but that didn't make me feel any less shitty. Lance pulls me forward and I do not resist. He rests his forehead against mine again and takes a deep breath. I can hear the longing in his voice as he whispers,. Sometimes I miss you so much it hurts to even look at you. Because I know I'll never be the one you desire with all your beautiful heart".

For a few seconds we just stay like that, not moving or saying anything. In those few seconds I take in all his sorrow and pain, I take in every negative emotion, and then I bear the guilt it brings. I feel your heart beat. The young Knight is correct. You do indeed have a beautiful heart, both pure and brave.

I will soon come for you my Prince". My mind spins and I feel so light headed that I swear the world is twisting and changing shape all around me. Lance is frowning, his expression one of concern. It is then that I see Gwen, and I have never been so glad to see her. She is holding Elyan's hand and pulling him forward. The little eight year old has the same big sky blue eyes and white blond hair as his sister. He is a very pretty little boy, like a Fae child. Lance has moved away from me now, smiling at Gwen instead. Gwen isn't stupid though. She raises her eyebrows at me after taking one look at his face.

Gwen's expression saying with complete certainty that we will be discussing this later. Gwen thinks I'm mad for not being with Lance, she's always had a thing for him. But Gwen's never discouraged me from being with Lance. In some ways I would have much rather Lance fell for her instead of me.

Gwen and Elyan climb into the back. Elyan is his usual energetic self, another thing that makes him seem so much like his older sister. I turn in my seat to look at him as Lance starts the car and begins the short drive home,. Elyan cringes slightly mid bounce and Gwen aims a disapproving look his way.

I raise an eyebrow at both of them and eventually Elyan says,. But I can tell she's hiding a smile, so whatever her mischievous little brother has done must be funny as hell. Elyan looks warily at his sister but is obviously very proud of what he has done and seems desperate to tell his story, especially to me. As his only father figure Elyan looks up to me quite a bit. Their dad died not long after he was born.

But my stupid teacher just gave me more work and I said I was finished for the day, but she said I had to do more because the day wasn't over yet. I screwed up the work sheet and threw it away.

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Then she said I had to go outside for being silly, but I went to the book corner instead and started throwing pillows and bean bags because she was shouting at me. Elyan takes a deep breath, I can already feel Lance chuckling beside me and I'm having a hard time suppressing a laugh too. I used the key to lock the door so the teachers couldn't get back in.

Elyan finishes his story with a self satisfied nod. All three of us only hold out for about three seconds before erupting into laughter. Elyan's 'it just had to be done' expression is the funniest part of it all. When the laughter dies down I catch Gwen's eye and she shrugs helplessly, but there is an under layer of dread that I understand immediately. We may find it funny, but Gwen's mother, Vivian, certainly will not. I love Vivian very much and I respect her greatly, but she is strict about how her children, including me, should behave. She raised us all to be polite and courteous in any given situation.

Elyan will certainly get a severe scolding for this. Then again Elyan spends more time getting scolded and told off than anyone else I know. I love him to bits, but he is a tricky little sod. For about ten minutes everything is easy again, no one talks about anything important. Not that we would with Elyan in the car. Clever as he is, we don't want him to learn too much too fast.

It's then that mid-laugh I feel something ice cold slip down my spine causing my whole body to shudder. The coldness spreads through my whole body making it almost impossible to concentrate on anything else. Suddenly I wish for that strong confident voice inside my head. The coldness doesn't go away and I start to shift in my seat warily. Something is coming, I have no idea what, but I can feel it right down to my bones. When I look out the window I see a flash of black and red before the car is hit hard enough to leave a dent in the door.

Lance jerks the wheel and Gwen grabs hold of Elyan instinctively. I'm about to answer when another hit comes and this time the car is forced to balance on two wheels for a few seconds.


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Gwen makes a yelping sound and Lance growls, his fingers whitening as he grips the steering wheel. I look out the window again, trying to see what's bashing us, but all I see is a thick black fog moving to cover the car. When the fog reaches the windows I start to really panic. Somehow I know this is because of me and that whatever is outside means us all a great deal of harm.

What is that black stuff? I turn in my seat to check on them, Elyan is frowning harshly at the blackness covering the windows as if confused by it's presence instead of it's actual existence. I run a hand through my hair and meet Gwen's eye for a moment. Hers are full of fear and my hands clench angrily.

I'm no longer frightened as the need to protect my family takes over. Ice starts forming slowly on the windows, causing them to crack. I can feel the blackness seeping in from outside. I clench my jaw as Lance drives on seemingly unable to do much else. I touch his knee gently and he looks at me, I see fear in his eyes as well.

But I also see determination, and I know he wants to protect Gwen and Elyan as well. Lance's eyes widen, his expression telling me I'm insane. I simply stare back at him, waiting,.

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He does it so suddenly that I almost go shooting through the windscreen. The blackness is still seeping into the car, but now we've stopped I know what has to be done. Gwen is still holding tightly onto Elyan and Lance seems to be waiting for my next instruction. Elyan meets my gaze then and I nod, he nods back as if approving of a plan I have not yet voiced.

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I put my hand on the door handle and the blackness pauses for only a moment as if unsure of how to proceed. I have no idea if what I'm about to do is right or just stupid. But the coldness spreading throughout my body tells me that the blackness is here for me, so I have to get it away from my family. I push open the door with surprising ease and practically throw my body out of the car. The blackness looks so thick that I assumed it would feel solid, but I move through the blackness as if moving through smoke. The feeling it causes however is nothing like smoke.

The coldness gets so intense that I can barely breathe and the feeling of dread is overwhelming. In the back of my mind there is a spark of recognition, but I push it back for now. I manage to kick the door closed behind me and drag my body as far away from the car as I can. Just as I'd hoped the blackness slowly starts to move away from the car and towards me. I don't know if it's lucky we're on an old country road that is barely used or not as no one will be along to help any time soon. I can hear muffled shouting from the car which I can only assume is Gwen and Lance arguing over what to do.

Lance is so very loyal, he'll be torn between coming after me and obeying me. I manage to stand up shakily, but the blackness is getting stronger as it tries to snake itself around my body. I have no idea what will happen when it completely covers me and I have no intention of finding out either.

All I can think to do is get as far away from the people I love as possible so they'll be at least somewhat safe. The side of the road I'm on leads into a forest and I decide that's my best bet as running on an open road will just give the blackness a clear target. If I can't hide from it then at least I can put obstacles in it's way. Within seconds I'm running through the forest, darting through trees and trying like fuck not to trip on a twig.

If anyone is likely to fall over something in situation like this, then that person is me. I run fast and hard, making sure I weave a bit to hopefully throw 'it' off. I can still feel the coldness snapping at my heels like it's trying to curl around my ankles.

The blackness speeds up then and so do I. I hope like hell that as soon as I ran into the forest Lance drove away with Gwen and Elyan. He wouldn't want to leave me but Lance isn't stupid enough to come after me either. The forest gets thicker and my body smashes against trees and branches as I run.

I don't stop to think about how bruised. I'm going to be if I survive this. I don't look back either. People who look back usually die, and although this may not be a story inside a book I'm not willing to chance it. The feelings inside caused by the blackness are surprising as I don't feel fear, at least not for myself.

It's anger that coils in my gut, maybe even rage. A hot boiling rage that threatens to take over in an almost painful manner. I know that the rage I feel is not my own. But if it's not mine, then who's. Whoever is controlling the blackness maybe, as I sense it is not acting of it's own accord, at least not completely. The way it paused earlier, made me think it was waiting for orders. I start to wonder how far I'll get before the blackness wears me down, because I know I'll tire before it does.

I chance a quick look behind me and all I see is a flash of red. Red eyes, bright as ruby stones. He walked along the line of cells. The one in the far right was the only occupied one. He took a deep breath, and step before the door. Merlin was sitting on the floor, playing with a couple of straws. He did not look up but Arthur knew Merlin knew he was there.

Arthur looked at his former servant, the young man he could have called friend. He had not raised his eyes from the straws between his fingers. I would have noticed" "Well, you did not" Arthur stared at Merlin and shook his head. I refuse to believe it" Merlin laughed coolly.

The way Merlin spoke had assured him. Why would you practice sorcery and come to Camelot? You had to know you would get caught eventually" "I did not know that. It was a possibility, yes, but I hoped there would be amore understanding king one day, to who I could reveal myself". Merlin laughed as he saw Arthur's face, filled with disbelief. It took my mother from me! Why was he even listening to him? Have you ever seen anyone do anything but evil with magic? Well, no, but yes. People who use it are not.

Magic can be used to both good and evil. You just cannot see the good because of Uther's rage. Nobody in their right mind would come to Camelot and start helping people with magic, they do not want to die". Arthur could not meet Merlin' eyes.

Episode 7 - A Secret Wish - Character: TANYA -Merlin Fan Fiction Season 5

He could never admit what he was saying made sense. Them too, but mostly I have been saving your royal behind more times I can count" "You? And saving my what?! Merlin was obviously angry, he never spoke to him like this. I could go on and on" "But neither of those situations include Remember when you fought in that tournament where your opponent was using a magic shield with the snakes? I just made them surface. And then there was the time when I got poisoned on your behalf. Remember those little lights that appeared to light your path?

Even when I was ill, nearly dead, I helped you. And then there are the countless of other times, like-" "Alright, I get the point" Arthur cut in, clearly annoyed. If it were any other situation, he would not have let his servant speak to him in such manner but as he did, he felt more familiar, more like his friend.

The two remained in silence. Arthur observed his friend. He could not believe Merlin has the power he had been taught to be evil. For a moment he saw hurt in Merlin's eyes, but they quickly softened as he realized Arthur was genuinely curious. It is much more complex than that. To me, it is natural. Yet I do not automatically know what to do if something happens, now and then I have to consult a book to find a specific spell for a specific usage. Like saving your royal behind".

Merlin's laughter grew even stronger as he saw the shocked look on his face. What is so funny?

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He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. After a few minutes he finally managed to continue "You have been tiptoeing around me, and apparently you have finally gotten over your fears" "What do you mean? I might have been.. I never knew you were a sorcerer, and all the magic I have witnessed has been evil" "All you know you have witnessed" "Yes, Merlin, apparently you have been doing some good with your magic such as saving my life and I was wrong to think magic is evil and I should change my views and if only possible" Merlin burst in laughter once again.

Arthur tried to hide his own amusement, but failed miserably. Soon he had fallen to the ground, all his dignity and crossness forgotten.