Footballs Biggest Ever Joke Book

These were often staged assaults.

Playing Peru, he is marked so brutally by Luis Reyna that as Maradona leaves the pitch to have his wounds tended, Reyna goes over to the touchline and just waits there for him to come out again, ignoring the rest of the game going on behind him. Numbed, Maradona plays on. He is at this time the most expensive footballer in the world. Imagine if this happened to Messi now. Someone would be shot. North Korea would launch a missile at the moon. The internet would break. It turns out that in the moment he was also hissing frantically under his breath, pleading with his team-mates to come and mob him before the goal is ruled out.

Carlos Bilardo had forbidden his midfielders to celebrate goals in order to save energy.

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This is still the lasting imprint of Touched By God, the feeling of something entirely other. Not to mention another example of the basic pointlessness of comparisons, of that endless, formalised quest for an all-time champion, for one of these giants to be named definitively as the greatest. There is no real point of comparison here. It is simply another sport, another life entirely.

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Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are at least present in the same timeline, pressed against the same surfaces, subject to the same pressures, a consumer choice between competing forms of greatness. Apart from the obvious — raising money for charity — the book has been written by one of the most talented football writers and acts as a great reference for all football fans.

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The author provides a unique insight into each individual through carefully crafted profiles. In addition, the book features wonderful artwork and has been beautifully produced by Ockley Books. From West Brom to Real Madrid, Cunningham was a mercurial talent who rose to the top of the game, only for injury and tragedy to follow. He won La Liga and was afforded a standing ovation from Barcelona fans.

A car crash in Madrid cut his life short. The first book proved a massive hit, allowing the reader to dip and out. Experience has taught me that self-doubt, anxiety and the occasional bout of mental constipation are just the annoying parts of an otherwise great and fulfilling job. Mauricio Pochettino may be the most interesting coach currently working in England, perhaps even Europe. The author is granted unprecedented access to see the inner workings of one of the success stories in the Premier League in recent years.

Spurs have enthralled with a young team — a concoction of English and continental flair. Change is so difficult.

He was quite clearly aware of all of that. The target is to get to the top.

For everybody to buy into that he had take a lot of very good decisions along the way. To find out which goalkeeper has taken the most throw-ins over the past ten seasons. Through the numbers Alexander offers some fun snippets, while providing understanding of the game, including why Liverpool have not won the league since Does it have something to do with the back-pass rule changing?

They like it distilled into interesting things which you tell your friends down the pub or at the game. Ajax, Benfica, Bayern Munich and Athletic Bilbao are just some of the stops in this ambitious and compelling book, which provides some of the answers as to why certain clubs continue to be the best, while others constantly punch above their weight.

It provides lessons for the causal football fan as well as club management, while exploring fan culture and society. The author is one of the most respected investigative journalists in sport and craftily lifts the lid on one of the most conniving and conceited governing bodies in all of sport. Plus an extended interview with disgraced former president Sepp Blatter. English coach Stephen Constantine has perhaps led the most peripatetic and interesting career in football, taking in Nepal, India, Sudan and Millwall to name but four. It is the perfect book to learn about football away from the money and glamour.

It is about love and passion for the game, taking the route less-travelled to forge a career.

Plus, is there any other manager in world football who has been chased by a hippo in Malawi? Of course it is hard and not without sacrifice but what good thing is? That's why our new email newsletter will deliver a mobile-friendly snapshot of inews. This will feature the stories you need to know, as well as a curated selection of the best reads from across the site. Of course, you can easily opt out at any time, but we're confident that you won't.