It's glitz and tits and if you aren't blonde, twenty-three years old, six feet tall, and one hundred twenty pounds, you really shouldn't even bother moving there. I lived in LA for many years but I had to leave. They actually sent me an eviction notice once I passed the one hundred twenty five pound mark.

Seriously, I wanted to live in a place where I could breathe the air, drink water out of the tap and not be mocked because I don't look like a Somali orphan. Thus starts my journey through the worst economic downturn in recent memory where every single thing has happened to me. Join me on my wild ride filled with more laughs, strange sights and killer squirrels than you can shake a stick at.

Who Stole My Spandex? Life in the Hot Flash Lane. Garfield's Top Ten Tom cat Foolery. Twenty Funny Stories, Book 1. Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut: Sex Tips for Gay Guys. I've Got This Round. Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl. How Not to Act Old.


  • Through the Hidden Door;
  • Shadow Blood: Book 4 of The Witch Fairy Series?
  • Bytes From Babylon.
  • Social Media Modeling and Computing.
  • How SWM Press started their book cover journey!

People Who Deserve It. Rude Bitches Make Me Tired. Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave. Blacklisted from the PTA. Twenty Funny Stories, Book 6. The Gay Jew in the Trailer Park. Thank You For Not Laughing. Diary of an Accidental Dad.

Because I Said So. The Sand Bucket List. Twenty Funny Stories, Book 4. A Freddy Malone Mystery. Ridiculous Adventures In Suburbia: From the Other Side. There Is a God! Fixing the Feng Shui in My Shorts: Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolitans. A Collection of Irritating Irritants. Santa's Village Gone Wild! Naked Man on Main Street.

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It Seemed Like a Good Idea Welcome To My Pond. Plain and simple, though not as simple as some people may think. Last year was my first year participating. A few of my writer friends were talking, it sounded like code and it sounded cool. What exactly does this mean? It means I have a rough draft of a book. It gave me the joy of working with friends with similar interests and cheering each other on, whether everyone made their word counts or not.

It gave me a first draft of the book. I have about forty pages left to polish on the final draft before I send it to beta readers. There is the rub. It seems this year when I started NaNo, I was exposed to a darker side of this great program. Honestly, I fail to see the value of people who want to piss in my Cherrios. What harm does it do for hundreds of thousands of people to actually focus on literacy and writing for a month?

I can hear it now.


  • New Book Cover for The Squirrel Stole My Thong and Other Reasons I'm Still Single.
  • Comment être une pro du kama sutra sans jamais avoir pris de cours de sanskrit (Mini) (French Edition)?
  • See a Problem?.
  • Uncategorized | Bytes From Babylon | Page 12.
  • Some of the designers who made it happen?

But that is part of the job when you are a publisher and there is a place for those projects. Then again you could be Stephanie whatsherwhoseits… you know, Sparkly Vampire Writer, who writes dreck and does get published. Miricles happen, dreams do come true so who am I or anyone to judge? NaNo also puts on a Young Writers Program and quite honestly, I can think of many worse things young people could be doing besides writing. You know, the usual, so I think getting them excited about writing about the things that interest them is a good thing. Personally I hope you catch the NaNo bug. It really is a great deal of fun, gives you a sense of accomplishment and keeps you off the streets.

We all know there are no more jobs out there. You might as well make your own or at least do something for you and not for your parents. Remember, they never liked anyone you dated anyway. I will be sitting there, wearing my Mickey Mouse ears, with Princess Aurora on the window, hopped up on chai and writing away. Sooner or later, we all get a little geek on ourselves. On Monday night, an engine fire crippled the Carnival cruise ship, Splendor, off the coast of Mexico. No one was injured. The ship finally limped into port in San Diego four days later, towed by tug boats.

The ship does have auxiliary power. Toilets and water were restored Monday night and remained operational throughout the trip. What was the problem? There was no air conditioning but that hardly matters in the Pacific in mid-November. No hot food service. You can deal with no hot water for a few days. The telephones and internet were knocked out. You want to know real horror? Real horror would have been if there was no plumbing! No food and no water at all! Now that would have been a horror show. No internet or phone? There are some resorts that bill this as a perk and people pay a great deal of money for it.

Granted, some food options were out since they needed heat to prepare but that leaves a ton of other options. Fruit, veggies, pate, sushi, cereal, ice cream, pie, sandwiches, beef tartar, hummus, cheese, the options are endless. Have you ever been on a cruise ship? They have a shit ton of food!

There is breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, tea, snack, ice cream social, dinner, midnight buffet. Hell, you roll off a cruise ship with five extra pounds at least if you graze throughout the day. Now how wants to play bocce ball?

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Think about that for a minute. You can live a few days without being plugged into the net. In fact, you might actually have to TALK to people. Carry on a conversation. Talk to other people. You want to know what would have been worse? Unloading you in Mexico and trying to get your asses across the border without being kidnapped by drug lords. THAT would have been worse. There was talk about getting busses to transport people if they had to dock in Ensenada, They were trying to figure out how much of a military presence they would need to secure the safety of the passengers, whether they could get US military to assist and get co-operation in border crossing.

Okay, dealing with that would have been a nightmare. Sitting on a luxury ship, eating tinned crab on a croissant, reading a book and watching the ocean? I can think of worse ways to spend a few couple of days.

So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday, I thought I would tackle a serious social issue, the criminal actions of our pets. Only human beings think like that. What put me down this path? Well, one of the ladies in my writing group mentioned that her Corgi steals food. Now I knew a Corgi when I was young. His name was Sam and he was a fantastic dog. Scary smart, just brilliant but I never heard of any food issues he may have had.

I thought perhaps this was an isolated incident. I mean this lady does have a parrot as well and maybe the bird is just making the dog look bad. I guess there are over a million larcenous Corgis out there, at least! I decided to do some research on the subject. You could never feed them enough to curb their unstoppable desire for more food. So it should be relatively easy to put a Corgi on a diet that will keep him at a perfect weight.

Unfortunately, many people who have Corgis as pets seem to be taken in by the pleading looks, and plaintive complaints of starvation coming from their very dramatic and manipulative little dogs. Corgis are experts at getting what they want. Their expressive faces, and artful begging, can make you feel terribly guilty for not giving them just a tiny bit more.

My thoughts on the City by the Bay & the Greater Bay Area

For the rest of her article: Those dogs can charm the pants off a nun, if nuns wore pants. Note that the most daring heist at the end was pulled off by, yes…. The moral of this story. If you have pets, keep an eye on your food. I would invest in a nannycam if I were you. I wrote this on Monday, was positive that I scheduled it to publish but I guess not. So here it is for Friday, just understand it was written Monday. I am a total dork.

I wanted to write a whole fabulous blog on Friday about Halloween and then write a witty blog today for the election tomorrow.

The Squirrel Stole My Thong and Other Reasons I'm Still Single

What do you get? Also my schedule is all whanked up. I have two ideas I wanted to write about. The first is the idiot trend away from trick or treating due to moron parents who want to wrap their kids in bubble wrap for no reason and the second is idiot, slutty costumes. Yes, we have all seen the female slut party that Halloween has turned into.

You name it and chances are, there is a slutty, crack whore version of that costume. To me they are all equally bad. Whatever happened to clever? To clothes in general? THAT is the holiday for getting drunk, naked and stupid though New Orleans residents will also argue that point as well. Boys can be sluts too! Hence the picture of Mr.

Oh the jokes abound! Pepperoni is too spicy for me to eat personally. Is cold limp pizza still good pizza? You tell me who got the raw end of that deal? Why the outpouring a contradictory gratitude? Have you heard about little Miss Flat Earth? Have you been living in a hole?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Allow me to elucidate. There are countries where a particular religious belief is the law of that country. A specific religious view, whether Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, is the law of that country. All people living in that country are taught those beliefs in State run schools and institutions.

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Some countries have severe penalties for not following the dictates of that specific countries religious beliefs. Our countries very first law states there shall be NO laws governing any specific religion. This means no ones religion will be the governments religion nor shall the government keep you from exercising any religious belief system you choose.

It is a matter of individual choice and liberty not a matter of government mandate. Any school or institution that operates with government funds must keep religious bias out of their curriculum. If anyone chooses to exercise their right to the free exercise of religion as far as schooling, they can.


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It is called a private school. It is paid for with private funds donated and raised by like-minded people. You can not teach faith-based doctrine in a government-funded school or institution. The Constitution guarantees people the right to worship as they wish and not to take sides in regards to faith and belief.

OK, so that was scary and sad.