Most of the women I know make more money than the men they are in relationships with. Many of us are about all those other things a good man can provide such as support, companionship, physical intimacy, love, loyalty, family. She could have married the next suitor so her kids could eat, but she refused to go down that road again. I take great offense to any suggestion that women and their children should be put in that situation again just so some men can have their egos rubbed. Older men exclude older women.
Why Am I Still Single? 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single
What some men have said in this forum about women, can be said of you men too: You can realistically expect to have your cake and eat it too. Men are very very very picky and idealistic. It is what it is. My cousin went to a singles dance with his friend many years ago and saw this girl that he was very attracted to which he said to his friend that someday i will marry her.
And God punishes many of us Single men and women that would had certainly wanted the same thing. One very good reason many middle aged men are cynical and jaded about relationships is the financial ruin that many go through after their partner files for divorce. Roughly three quarters of divorces are initiated by women. All the loneliness in the world is far more preferable to me than the wreck. I still wear my ring, not as a reminder of the past relationship but rather, as a deterrent.
Much to the dismay of most of my friends and family, I have decided that staying single is a far better choice for me. My brother just went through a nasty divorce. As you stated, you are not alone. Stories like yours and my brothers make me feel a bit better about never getting married. Good luck going forward. I find myself going through longer and longer phases of loneliness, terrible loneliness.
I have a lot of women friends and do socialize with them during the week, but nights and weekends are reserved for their families husbands,children and grandchildren. I am kind of their touchstone to another life, the single middle aged woman friend. I passed up marriage for a career that never really materialized. No children although I did want to have children.
I should have cut my losses and moved on but we spent years trying to be friends. Why I ask myself? I should have started dating in a serious way, but instead I closed down and really gave up. I am 53 now and I look back and see clearly how I passed up trying and being open to finding a husband and father for the children I wanted and the family life I wanted.
I am very alone and no one in my life really knows how alone. My married friends have no clue how difficult it is to date now. I would rather keep my loneliness to myself and fill my time when I am not working with my interests. I am single because men I meet and date just want sex and are not serious about commitment.
I watch porn once in awhile but i still want to spoil somone with love and affection. I even consider myself attractive too but seems nobody wants commitment these days. My last partner i made clear my feelings. Even after sex i tried many sweet gestures to win her over to no avail, i stayed with her when she needed me and tried to make her laugh and happy, always respected her feelings. Then when i finally gave up and stopped trying we met up again 3 months later while she had a new bf that she decided to come out and tell me about, i didnt ask.
I said congrats and continued my work. Same night she showed up an hour later to ask if i wanted to makeout after im off work. I looked at her with my broken heart and just walked away saying nothing. She claims to my old friends she had too many booze that night. Every relationship ve been in was very similiar. Just people taking my love for granted and me getting fed up with it over time. I have been in a very similar situation me being in your shoes and it really sucks!
I understand being scared to open up again. Same with me, although to add that every time I talk to a guy, he immediately wants to rush into a relationship. No guy that I have come across ever want to take his time to get to know me. Guys, if you are reading this…. Keep doing your thing. Stick behind your beliefs and what you do and believe in yourself.
One day, a woman will see that and be attracted to the qualities she sees. Change your job, work out, get manicures, etc….. Some really attractive and nice men stay single or fail every one of their relationships because of the stuff that was explained here. Sometimes looks are the issue, but not always. As far as I know, I even think self-esteem is more of an issue working out and stuff as you said can help improve it, but people, me included, should above all learn to love and accempt themselves.
I could do all of the things you say because I used to and end up with a superficial, stupid and annoying wife that I have no love for. Today the times are certainly much different than it was back then, and it definitely was so much more Easier finding love at that time. There are really No good places to go anymore since they had single clubs other than the bar scene without drinking, and they had a lot of church dance for singles too.
Well that certainly explains why our parents, grandparent, aunts and uncles had it much easier at the time, and many of them are still together as i speak. Why should it be the men who have to change? Why not the woman? Why is it always that the woman does the deciding? Why is it that we must meet her standards? Sure women have the pressure of having to look pretty and all, but men have the pressure of both looking good and having to do the asking.
There is always talk about the lack of equality between men and women, and I agree with a lot of it, but no one ever mentions this. That men have to do the asking and seek approval, and women do the deciding. How sad are many of the responses. I had all those excuses and more when I was single, and stubborn, and picky and I thought happily single.
Then I met my now husband and can now study, and work, and care for my family and pets…and go on holidays and with friends and still have a loving comfortable home-life to come home to. My husband shares all that with me, and makes life and all of the above infinitely easier. So none of those are valid reasons.
Someone who truly loves you will wait while you do your homework each night, surely? Other people think they will vanish or self-combust if they are not in a relationship, and will try to be in one no matter what the cost is. This was one of the best articles on this subject I have read in a long time. I found it brilliantly insightful and illuminating. I find this exceptionally ironic for two reasons: One thing that makes it impossible for me to date is that I never jump on the chance to have an interaction with a woman. They need somebody, but nobody needs you specifically.
You are nobody in the sands of dating possibilities. I have this wall that I feel like I need to be perfect in order to date somebody. God created you and because of that, you have value. Our world today likes to teach us from early childhood that we are a random accident of evolution. It is not true; God created everything.
I believe your most critical need is to have a personal relationship with your Creator, who loves you. I would encourage you to find a Bible online or in print and read Genesis history of the world , Psalm , and the book of John—the fourth book of the New Testament. I just got out of a 12 year marriage. Trying to be a husband and parent at the same time put me and especially her under a huge amount of stress.
So what have I come to conclude? As such, I am a control freak times a million. My life is SO sheltered and scripted, and when people try to be spontaneous or change things I present them with super huge resistance. Foot dragging, procrastinating, whining, complaining. Why put people through that?!
So — to add to this otherwise exceptional article, I think sometimes people like me have mental illness that just makes a relationship too impractical. Look how hard relatively normal people struggle to work on and maintain their relationships. Can you imagine how hard it is for someone with NPD to please their partners? Can you imagine how someone living with an NPD must feel? I read their accounts online and it just makes me sad — how much sadness and emptiness people with my illness cause others.
The last women who showed interest in me was politely rejected. She was disappointed and I found it very sweet that someone could be interested in a guy left with so little — so little to offer. Little did she know, I was doing her a massive favor! I am just so entrenched in this personality disorder that I may never change at all, or if I do change, not enough to make a good companion for someone.
I want to make a positive difference in my life and the lives of others. I have to combat my mental illness. Not within a relationship. I found your answer to be one of the most sincere, but self deprecating. I just do better single and am not that great in relationships. I feel like relationships bring out the crazy in me. I must have been in a real heavy mood the day I wrote that piece! But, the shoe does fit. This is even when I try to be mindful, and giving and appreciative. Anyways, thanks for the reply. Normally when I come out with that stuff people can be rather… judgmental. Self-depreciating or not, some people are just in rough shape and really should maybe avoid romantic relationships.
That is very refreshing to see that you own it and have processed it. That takes a lot of self awareness and courage. Well there are many of us men that really hate being Single, especially when we have a very hard time meeting a Good Woman to spend the rest of our life with, and Loneliness is very much a Curse for us too. Someone decided we would have a credit crunch though about 9 months before I was gonna hit the real big time…. Then, I kind of projected all that feeling for her I suppose on to this other chick I used to know, I had previously known her from school.
All the real problems I had were still waiting for me, change the circumstance, change the man….. Saved some cash and went travelling, and boom I was off again, banging backpackers, waitresses, receptionists, cleaners, sales women, 1 journalist even, all sorts of chicks, left, right, centre…I could tell you how to do it, I can tell you what to say, I know exactly what is required to get laid, I even wrote a blog on it for a couple years….
Anyway, my travelling days came to an end, and I came home. Thanks for the article. Gives me something to think about and act upon. Reading some of the comments, it seems like many are in denial …. This is the best articles and all the comments are very interesting… I am a single mother of 17 yrs old boy. Your solitary days will be no more, for tomorrow is safe in my hands. Merry Christmas mommy, love you so much. I can identify with certain of the points of the article: Starting with the latter, in my early 20s, I lived my first, which happened to be a long distance relationship, with somebody.
During that time, I was unaware of the other relationships that she was engaged in. Tragically, I learnt that she had been sexually assaulted over the course of that year. I was confused, filled with contempt and compassion. It is important to forgive, but to never forget. About a decade later, I gave another shot at being in a relationship.
We liked each other, but there was no love. I think was expecting too much. In fact she was too intelligent for me on a social and logical level. When my work ran out, I moved again, thinking that I loved her. She asked not to be contacted, but I would have liked to at the least keep a friendship going. Single, 35 years old female, educated and good job. As a woman I do not understand this. I am not sure what woman would accept a man being continuously unemployed and doing little about it.
I still looked past it and stayed positive. I am shallow and admit it. If I can make time to look good for you, then I feel you can try to look good too. For the men who replied saying they are good guys but think they are unattractive, you can change that. One reader posted that all the good ones are taken, this is true because those men have lives in order and want to move to the next phase. The remaining ones do nothing to change, look like cavemen, or is a whore. Nobody wants a dictator.
My problem is that all the women within my age range are either divorced with children, or have children. It is one thing to have preferences, but nobody wants someone telling someone what to do. Of course I get the weirdos and the garden variety creeps. Like people with staring problems. There is this old saying I learned long time ago, steer clear from the ladies staring at you as they are looking for lust, and unclean. I am destined to be alone, period. People do so much to tick me off on a daily basis, in fact my head would explode if I tried.
I keep trying and failing. Lots of sex and lots of dates but nothing solid. I have no idea why. I wish I could secretly interview all these women to find out why am I always used as the boy toy and never a potential partner. And sometimes if we look real closely we might find we have higher expectations for our partners than we do for ourselves! Not saying you in particular, but a lot of people, a lot of the time. But what about many of us Single people that really hate to be Alone?
And i am sure a lot of the other men and women out there would certainly agree with me too. Really meeting the right person is very hard nowadays since the Divorce rate is so out of control now, unlike years ago when many men and women did make their marriage work. But otherwise, single people have no idea what that phrase means. Having spent most of my adult life single i know all the difficulties that come with it. But i firmly believe some people are really better off remaining single for their sake and the sake of those they become involved with.
I always knew i was self-centered but thought i could change when i got married. Not long ago during a fight he told me i was the most selfish person he had ever met. That was quite a blow. While he is no picnic basket he does give to others more than i do. I know i have compassion for the less fortunate but never learned to be a very giving person, or at least it would seem.
In any relationship you have to give a lot. Make sure you are ready. You know, it was stated that a bad routine of work and staying in is almost a fault of our own making. My ex lives four states away and only sees our kids every other weekend. I have no interest in bringing a bunch of men around my kids and as a single mother; I am barely able to keep up with work, a household and all the demands of my children. It means that every other Friday night if I am not working a 6th or 7th day for the week , I am dying to put my feet up with that glass of wine and put the TV on.
Not because I am avoiding intimacy, but more because in those moments, I have no demands put on me. So, I ask this question- where and does a person that is genuinely exhausted meet someone else that has just as much on their plate to share this insanity called life with? I like the idea of being in love and having a relationship, but the theory is different from reality.
I think I am lucky to be divorced. Each day that goes by I am stronger being single. I am not alone — I have kids, family, friends… even my ex-wife is a part of my life now, just in a different and limited way. Was she impossible to please? Some say she was pretty demanding and unwilling to compromise… Or was I putting too much effort into the wrong things? Did I just miss the boat entirely?
I am going to enjoy this summer, free from what felt like a whole lot of work and frustration only to have an unappreciative audience at the other end of it. And connecting with the right person for us is very Difficult for us right now, especially for us Good men looking for a Good woman to settle down with. I think that some people want to have ralation but dont know about true contact and what say and how say first time. I think am just ugly.
My height has also contributed. Otherwise some of us wish we had them. I used to be very successful at dating until I was 26, and after that, everything went downhill quickly. Today with almost 31 years old, I have been years without dating, except from maybe a date every 9 months, after which the girl usually wants to know nothing about me anymore. Maybe they are right. With so many very high maintenance women out there these days it certainly makes it very hard for us good single men meeting a good decent one today. I found this really helpful.
I am still lost but mostly because i cant tell which or how many of these are the true cause of my problem. I am only 17 and am by no means dying for a relationship but i was begining to think that there may be smothing wrong with me. I have always been a little more observant than other kids and when i was in the first grade and girls where already fighting over guys t date i was disgusted. I began to think i was aromantic or asexual and that maye i was better off with just friends.
The problem is most people are selfish and self-entitled. Hi, My situation is weird I read some comments who would agree with me. But, nobody shows interest in me the way I wanted — serious relationship! To find someone suitable for you, is to find someone who shares the same things as you not everything, can be a couple of things , wants the same things in life as well. For the most part why relationships break, is lack of proper communication nagging adds stress to partners , lack of common interests and always giving negative energy. When I find guys, I am looking for common interests, hobbies, views on certain things, something that complements my life and vise versa.
The other dating site is way better and more details, 5 categories with percent matches etc. One more thing, children needs a stay home parent to teach and raise their kids and not strangers, that is why some females are looking for a financially stable men! Yeah I agree with other comments. Sometimes I just sit and think that maybe I will never have a man In my life because I am not attractive,or maybe God wants me to focus on Him. I always wanted someone to compliment my goals and aspirations.
I fall into the category of dating adventagous men. It is amazing that the workforce makes you into someone that must succeed higher than the mom just working to put food on the table or compared to the other single woman whom holds herself as a powerhouse with the boys club. For me being single has been more of a curse than a blessing. I am 26 years old about to 27 next month and I have found that special someone I do see myself with for the rest of my life.
In the beginning we did have something special going but now it has deteriorated due to my lying manipulation and other dumb things I have done to anger her. I grew up being bullied not only at school but at home too. My friend gave me the strength to get away from them for good so I can finally start my adult life.
Technically I am single because of the things I have done to hurt my friend and I have to prove to her that I can treat her right. I am in the process of changing my demeanor how I think act and everything so I can prove to her I can be the man she always dreamed of. By all means I am not looking for any sympathy or people to coddle me.
Seriously my parents did enough of that shit to me which made me what I am right now a little pussy. I have found that just I need to get better and change. Lol this is what happens when you wake up in the middle of the night with your mind racing and once you get to rolling, you trip over yourself. I think relationships are give and take nothing is easy in life. But a miserable relationship is not good once people feel taken for granted the resentment sets in which is the beginning of a downward spiral.
This situation can be just as bad for both men and women. I am a man, 38 years old, and alone and probably will be alone for whatever the remainder of my days are. I was married for 16 years and with her 18 years. The separation is just over two years and the divorce is just under a year. She held a burning contempt for me for the last ten years as I desperately tried to find a way to make her happy, or at least appeased. Attempting to form and maintain romantic relationships has never been easy for me. It has always been the realm of heartache, embarassment, and pain that I am no longer able to bear.
Well dating sites out there make it very tough for us good men looking looking for a good woman to connect with, since many times women will show you what there picture is suppose to look like which it never is. And so many women these days are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very picky as well which makes it very hard meeting a good honest one that could Accept us for who we really are since many women today do Prefer men with a lot of Money. There are days I hate being single and days I love it.
With that being said I feel the same way you do but towards men. In my case, I strive to be my best, in and out of relationships.
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I find I do being single better. I personally do not care how much a guy makes. As long as he has a job or career. I prefer a man who has a sense of humor, loves his family, has friends, has his own interest, and money. Because I have a huge heart, some men tend to take advantage of that. But after a while I just walk away.
No one likes to get used. So dating and finding love have many obstacles. But being honest and open help. I have grown children and am working on my goals. So I guess my status is a woman who has a low tolerance for bs, some games can be fun not mind games , and I am happily a work in progress, even at And i will certainly agree with you as well since it is unfortunately a very bad time for finding real love nowadays for many of us especially for many of us good men that just keep meeting the wrong women all the time instead of just one good woman to make us very happy.
Good luck to you as well. I am 29 and a single guy, l am,concerned with myself very close to 30 years of age trying to ask women out but then get no response get rejected, but feel shameful for not finishing my degree earlier than getting a job, by now then l can go and get that lucky girl, but every time l read my news feed on fb my friends are getting engaged and or just got married seeing them holding hands, just makes me jealous, feel l am not good enough or l am to picking, l freaking out.
Please help me what a start work part time and study to go out with a girl but l am not working just frustrated with myself. There are several levels, the bottom is safety, food, etc, then it goes up from there. Jobs and education fall into a ring below such self-actualizing activities as love, spirituality, etc.
That is why a lack of money causes many a break up. I am 42 and widowed for almost 4 years by now. I have to say that I was more content when I was alone by choice than after I resumed dating and experienced all frustrations which come with being single in your 40s and trying to start a new relationship.
Yet these are the two problems that seem devoid of solutions in this article. Neediness works just they way you described it. In reality, men who have none of these qualities are usually the most caring, intelligent, reasonable and trustworthy partners. The confident ones get most quality women because they do not really care whom they are dating.
When rejected they just move on and on and on…. Personally, I do not really care about getting a 15th replacement of somebody I initially liked. So what, I am ready to spend another year alone watching movies. Well, that looks so good on paper, and in the psychology textbooks. I think the reasons are accurate. Unfortunately, the solutions listed are oversimplified.
This article really hit home for me. I am tired of being single. I miss dating and talking with guys and I really want a relationship. I am lonely, I am consumed with loneliness. And I hate it. I see people and I am so envious of them, envious of the fact that they have someone to be with, they have someone to come home to, someone to love and talk with and share their time with, travel with. I miss all of that. And my last relationship was horrible that I am questioning is love and relationships are really worth it.
Is there anyone who is honest and mature enough to be real with me? I became interested in girls when I was 12 years old. That was when I was in the 7th grade. I would always have fun talking to them in school. I would hang out with them too. When I graduated 8th grade, I went to high school and met a lot of very beautiful hot girls. I would ask some of them if they would want to go out with me or go to dances with me. But unfortunately, they all declined. I was so very hurt by them. It was like, none of them ever found me cute, attractive or good looking. I felt treated and tossed aside like garbage by them.
In , I went to another high school. I met someone that I rode to school with. She was very wonderful. In the spring of , we started talking a lot and hanging out a lot too. When the summer approached, her parents would let come over, visit and spend time with her. I would also go swimming in the backyard pool. Her parents were so good to me. As the years have been passing by after high school, I have been trying so hard to get whet I want. But every time that I tried, I failed miserably.
I really hate being a virgin. My whole life without a girlfriend or a woman to fall head over hills in love with me, my life is complete crap. Friendship with a woman to me, is just not good enough. I have unfriended the women that are in relationships with someone else on fb. Me not having a girlfriend, makes me feel unwanted, unimportant and nothing. I feel that they have no sympathy and no compassion for me. I gave up on love in July when my exboyfriend dumped me and I got that dumped because I was too Catholic for him. Many people laugh if you tell them premarital sex is a no no, most would never date a virgin, much less a 30 year old one.
I am educated, work, workout, weigh under pounds, look young for my age so it is not my looks that turn the opposite sex off. But the fact I model my life after Jesus Christ and I will not sacrafice my salvation, morals, personal beliefs just to make some guy happy. So I know as long as I live a biblically grounded life and continue attending mass, I doubt I will ever get married. I can sympathize with your frustration.
I have heard the same thing from other people who are very devoted to Christ. I myself, have been abstinent for quite some time after my divorce. I dealt with hpv and cervical dysplasia and a lot of headaches and heartache for having premarital sex with my ex-husband.
He turned out to like having sex with new and different women and being verbally abusive. I could have saved myself some pain had I done what you are doing. At least you know if you do marry, that you will be marrying someone with good values and a strong faith in Christ. It was a rational choice. People are on edge, afraid to commit and afraid to be emotionally vulnerable because they feel like everyone is playing games or using you. Ten or twenty years ago life was easier, you could easily find a job.
Nowadays is way harder, you have to search a lot and have to have college education and possible extra master degrees in order to beat competition. Children are not taught to love. They are taught to think only of themselves and use other people to meet their needs. This is very sad and our generation is suffering because of this. Many of you geniuses on this comment section try to come up with all the reasons in the world on why you or certain people stay single.
So none of you here are these harmless angels as much as you believe I used to have the same problem. So go out there, put your ego aside, and meet someone. How very likely it is…most here that complain…have totally dumped someone that was very nice, trustworthy, and loyal. And men too…are guilty of this. But seriously…the truth is…we all want someone nice…most just want the asshole we love to be nice to us. Especially for many of us Good men still looking today. This kind of list is what drives single people, like me, insane!
This list is vindictive, condescending and manipulative. Whoever wrote this, I would like them to kindly take this list down before you damage anymore people. Hi friends Totally agree with the manuscript. I felt empty, worthless, sad, desperate, and dead. I was joblessand single and still am. What can I say! Being lonely really sucks all of your blood and signs of life out of your body. I was even thinking if I could get rid of myself just in my dreams but I said to myself that I am not weak and coward. But I believe God exists if not who could make such a brilliant body system of human through a pile of mud, blood and meat!
I do believe God. We are all the pieces of Gods light and his sign. Hope to be happy and free some day you and I. I have always had a girlfriend since I was I am now However recently we have broken up. Im so deeply depressed about it. So scared that I will end up alone. It drives me crazy. I have always enjoyed having someone there for me and to share all the times together. Now that is gone and its just me. I hope I grow stronger and become accustomed to being single.
But I do not see this happening any time soon. I just dont know what to do with myself anymore. I really hope I find love again or at least a life companion to share things with. Being single sux for me. I sometimes wish I was more like some of you guys on here that it doesnt bother. It would make life so much easier. I have not been in a serious relationship since I too took the break up so hard that for the next three years after the break up, I gained like 50 pounds over the break!
I did lose the weight after I snapped out of it even though today, I am still a single woman. In today society its hard to meet a nice male friend or companion let alone get into a relationship with someone. I figure God has someone really special that he going to spring into my life one day…hopefully soon!! I believe that the Ukraine has some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen!! I have seen photos of women from the Ukraine who are more beautiful than any woman I have ever seen in the US. Actually,I have found my match. She is wonderful and beautiful and has a pretty little girl.
We are now working to bring our family together in America. I wish you the best in your search and recommend mlagency. Just too many Career women today that are keeping Good men like us Single since it is all about them. Thing is, I believe I have like 5 out of these 8 issues. Especially self esteem, and the overflowing of bitterness.
I project myself as kind as can be genuinely chipper at work , but I think my anxiety and self loathing can still be detected. Or too anti self esteem, it just burrows deeper until I have no idea what to do. Some people stay single because they do not attract the opposite sex like myself a man of 48 that has never had a sexual experience or a girlfriend. This article fits me for the most part…. I see myself as being unattractive and unsuccessful…. Although I am trying to finish a B. But maybe these are false thoughts?
A growing almost hatred of women and people in general…In America you fit in with the heard or die. I moved to Japan after graduation for work when I was It simply never happens. The language and culture barriers are pretty huge for me. There is absolutely nothing I can do or say to change. Sometimes I feel like I will forever be alone. Stop being so judgemental! That I can do. I will patiently wait for the man who will come into my life. Hi Allison, you sound like you have read my thoughts, communication is the key, was married for 25 years and the most important thing is to communicate to each other on all topics not just your own.
I have felt alone for so long I too feel like I will never meet someone who gets me. Anyway thanks for your notes. I guess I need to get over my cynicism. Most women are really to Blame for many of us Good men still Single today since they have really Changed over these years when there is No Reason at all to Blame ourselves since it does Take Two To Tangle.
And Most of the women that have their Careers now certainly Would Not make a Good Wife at all since it is all about them. This is a devastating article. I have almost if not all of the problems listed here preventing me from entering into a relationship. And worst of all I seem to be passing these to my child as well. I am 38 and single. I was diagnosed with ADD in 6th grade , and I think it wrecked my self-esteem over the years.
It usually ends when I get tired of the sex, or just suddenly feel trapped. The thought of growing old alone is weighing heavy…I stopped drinking and have tired to stop the casual sex… I have not a bit of trouble talking to women in bars, but this one pretty woman who goes to my church whom I think is perfect brings out terror in me!!! I have been playing catch-up due to my emotional immaturity.. I am sibgke because i WANT to be.
I am healthy, well adjusted and better as a single person. I may have times that I date…and when I do I may or may not have sex. I am a confirmed bachelor. A single father of 18 and 10 year olds. Funny how all of the reasons are negative. I am 21 and still single for childhood breakup, i dont make girlfriend ….. I dream about having a lover a lot and I get jealous when I see couples out together. It makes me wish every time why am I unloved and unwanted?
She or he is so lucky. Who ever wrote this article together with most psychologists are just born to make people feel bad about themselves! Then there are many of us good single men that really should have been all settled down by now with our own good wife and family since most of us that are still single now never expected this to happen to us in the first place. Its exactly opposite to convincing yourself to be single. If you need sex and dont have partner — go to prostitute, if you need children and dont have wife — adopt someone, if you dont want familuy life — do what you want..
The society will always be there to comment on anything you do — the only way to keep yourself satisfied is doing what makes you happy. It is not a race to find someone as a partner — some find it early, some in mid-life, some later, and perhaps some will never find it. Imagine this, if fear of being single is not present, the whole structure of religion, family, economy developed to provide jobs and feeding family will collapse.
Who will prevent it from collapsing? The ones who believe in it! Basically in our society it is easy to be afraid of being single, and see the advantages of being married if you are single…But try to free your mind, put emotions away for some time, and see a rational picture. And this is definitely a very different time we live in now since back in the good old days real love was very easy to find with no trouble at all either. And usually when it comes to dating, most women i would say certainly have it much easier than many of us men do.
We live in a world now that is so very horrible unfortunately since most men and women just want the very best of all and will never settle for less either. But when it came to finding love which both men and women Accepted one another for who they were at that time since that was the way it use to be which really explains why it was much easier finding love back then.
Today it is all about the money since most women will go for the men that have money unfortunately which is very sad how money changes people for the worst of all due to their greed and selfishness that is now everywhere these days. It is very sad that many women these days are real Golddiggers since money is very important now for so many women these days which makes it very sad. I go out and try to meet people almost every weekend. Just not attractive enough. I dress well, put myself out there, but never get so much as a phone number.
How about an article on how to get used to being alone? You just described me!!! Please how can I control this, this is exactly me, despite the fact I am becoming successful day by day I always feel like I am not good enough for a relationship. When someone really really like I always find it suffocating but I will start dragging and begging for their attention after when they grew tired of me, I always want to date people that are very far away from me too.
Please what should I do to stop this… Thanks. Your email address will not be published. Why Am I Still Single? An accomplished and much requested lecturer, Dr. Firestone speaks at national and international conferences in the areas of couple relations, parenting, and suicide and violence prevention. Can you see how this might be confusing? Reply if you guys are so happy being single than what brought you to this article?
We all have a gifts with in us Reply. Reply YES , totally agree Roger , at 59 still single but found better not happier to be alone than being in a few in a few bad relationships I had. Someone great is hard to find.
“Why Am I Still Single?” 8 Reasons People Often Stay Single
Reply But not impossible. Reply Unfortunate, but true. Reply Can someone please explain this? So true nicely said, I totally agree. You said exactly the right thing Reply. Reply Let the next chapter begin Reply. Love that person for who they are and not what they have. Be with them through ups and downs in and outs. There the one that are rare. Reply Your comment makes no sense at all.
Reply No ned to go there. We are discussing and learnng about ourselves. Also jesus loves you. And he loves and believes in you, sweetie. Reply God, if he exists, loves me so much that he gave me a congenital hearing impairment. Wtf Reply Some people are single for years because of unwanted outsiders always melding and pro-shaping their life with out that single person even knowing. Reply I guess you tried confiding in a trusted friend or family member?
Exactly,Erin you are so right. Thank you Erin Reply. Reply Some stay single because they want their undivided attention on something other than a relationship. Hit the nail on the head! Reply Can you share the steps you took with me? Need the steps Reply. Thank you for your insight. I will make use of it. Reply Is hard for some ppl, because some ppl scare of rejection, is hard for them do it again.. Reply You bring up a good point. Feel free to avoid answering that rhetorical question.
Reply Love is ageless Yvette. Reply I hope so for me. I became a part of that bunch too. For me, I t was …… I am a single because I choose to be. I am alone but I am not lonely. I thought i was pretty but now i understand i am not. I am obese, very short, with thinning hair, pot belly, an overbite , bulbous protruding squinty eyes and a teeth gap. My father and brother r alcholics and i have lived watching them fight and abuse my mom and sis in law. I am over qualified.
I have a postgraduate degree and dictorate and a high level job. I believe i dont deserve to be on top. These r a few of the reasons why i am single. I feel sad and hurt and ashamed when i see my neice and nephews getting married and having kids. I came across this article and said…wow! I ask myself every day or so, why did God leave me alone? I am so angry sometimes I could scream!!!
I read somewhere that serial killer Charles Manson married while he had been incarcerated, yet there seems to be no one in the free sane world for me? There is light at the bottomless pit of singleness for me. I have decided to adopt a baby: For those singles who want a family, take a deep breath and let it go, along with the burden of being single. Create your own story that does not end with you dying alone.
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! I get so tired of the have faith phrase. I have even tried dating sites. Trying to figure out what have I done so bad that has cost me ever having the love of my life…even down to questioning does GOD really love me? I mean the Strongest desire I have right now is to be married. I am praying for GOD to take that desire away. I wanna be free from it if it is not his plan for my life. The hardest part, for me, is not being single.
I can actually appreciate certain moments of my singleness now. Like the weight I no longer feel waiting on some guy to call or show up or make me feel worthy. And those days of playing detective, only to uncover the ugly truths I never really wanted to face, are gone. THAT is the hardest part about being single for me. To have had love. An unconditional, honest, pure, and beautiful love. And to have been too young and stupid to have appreciated it.
They say if you have chemistry you only need one other thing: But timing is a bitch. So here I am, single. Not at all how imagined my life would be at I imagine I could have been happily married with a kid or two by now. Instead, I chose to walk away from the love of life. I guess I thought I could do better. I was only 19 when we met and 27 by the time I ended things. I thought I might have been missing out on other options. I wanted to know what else was out there. That was my biggest mistake and if I could go back in time and take it all back I would. In a single heartbeat.
Enough to know that my soulmate is the one man I left behind at And now he is with someone else and I put him there. Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? If you ask me, no way. What they failed to mentioned was that your heart will break every day, over and over again, searching for the love it once felt only to come back empty every time. Mandy, you spoke not only your heart, but the heart of myself and pretty much every other single woman. Your fears are my fears. As much I love your positivity and encouragement, which has uplifted and kept me going many days, I adore your vulnerability in also sharing the ugly truth.
Positivity can bring us together, but it is the bare common ground that binds us and reminds us we are not alone. Being single is scary and when I see a happy couple i feel like crying. Am so scared that il die single. At 38 I have never experienced true love. Surprisingly after being disappointed the whole of my life, I still believe in love.
What is wrong with me? Im the one stood waiting for her friends only to find out they have left with the guy i was bypassed by. I can completely relate. Single still at almost Left my abusive husband back in and wound up dating the same kind of jerk until when I realized I deserved better and decided to take a break. I am horrible on myself. Thank you for posting this Mandy…. I divorced my husband after 20 years of him struggling with sexual desires and then being physically abusive to our son. You are such an inspiration in this interesting, crazy, sometimes lonely, but still forging ahead journey called the single life.
Nashville is on my bucket list of places to visit and when I get there I would love to meet you! Thank you for your post. I relate a lot to what you said — pretty much everything you said. I was writing a blog entry the other day about a funeral I attended for a family member and I was thinking about how that side of my family was dwindling pretty fast. Then I was thinking about how my own side of my family pretty much ends with me. I have a sister, but I feel like that is their own part of the family that they get to carry on. I will be carrying on nothing.
I feel pretty sad about it. I just want to be me, with my strong faith and my huge sci-fi geek side. I want to be the grad student and the one who enjoys a young adult novel. The one who uses Facebook to keep up with friends but to also play social games. You make me wanna cry and hug you.
This is me as well. The kid thing is getting to me more and more everyday. Being 32 and single has been very hard. Harder than I expected are willing to normally admit. I see no flaws in anything you mentioned, rather perfection. I am almost 39 and 21 months ago I decided, after years of thought and prayer, to take matters into my own hands and had an appointment at a fertility clinic.
It may always just be the two of us, but he is the greatest loves story of my life. Someday I may be a wife but, if not, thank god a precious little boy calls me mommy. This was God sent. This journey have many ugly heads. I know I wont end up alone, But being single and 35 is not a game. I just want to hug you. I know how hard it probably was to write this, because that fear of judgement is REAL. I wrote a similar entry on my blog about a month ago and I was terrified to press submit.
But I did, because someone needed what I wrote. Today, I needed what you wrote. I love how God works things out! Anyway, thank you for your honesty. But you know that the men are not perfect either!! Marriage is 2 imperfect people focusing on the good in each other more than the bad.
It really resonated with me. Thank you for reminding to embrace these moments. You continue to be an inspiration, Mandy! Thank you Mandy for sharing! I can relate to each and every word! All we can do is simply live this single life to the fullest. Wow, I can totally relate to everything you said. Reality is hitting home and I deal.
I too am mid thirties and single and can so relate. Sometimes we can even become obsessed with the single status. But I try to live this time to my fullest as a writer blogger and traveler. We aRe here for a reason. Very excellent and very honest blog, Mandy! I feel the same feelings you feel about being single. Keep your head up and keep encouraging other single women in their walk with the Lord. Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for writing this post and tackling this question. You seem to be writing everything that I am currently feeling.
It gets very hard at times, but I usually try to stay optimistic. My previous bad choices in men have made me question myself, and I also had a man to basically tell me something similar to what you were told. That was years ago but I realize now that it really effected me. I really have a huge issue with being 26 and a single mom….. My ex telling me if I was just this or that we would work…. Kayla, you are enough for YOU and your son. What your ex is looking for is someone to fill the voids in his own life.
No one can do that but him, so let him do that work himself. Thanks for writing this article Mandy, I try to stay positive and keep busy. But in those moments when I am alone in my bed I have those same thoughts. I am ugly, too fat, too nice and no one will ever want to be married with me. I throw myself a pity party, cry myself to sleep. Its not easy being alone or single, but I would much rather be single than in a miserable relationship.
This made me cry. Every day I think I am doomed to wander this earth by myself. Just last night I was boo hooing because my kids were gone and I was all by myself at home washing clothes. Thank you for your honesty. I feel that I am a very loving, compassionate, caring woman that I feel is pretty nice looking wondering why God would make me this way and not give me someone to share my life with. You too are very beautiful, thoughtful and just wonderful. Thank you for your message.
I love this post. And LOL, I am still single at Married for 23 years…miserably…and slowly getting to where I want to be. The truth is, we all have those doubts. We all want to be what we see presented in magazines and movies. And we are all flawed. As are many of the men out there. I want a partner…an equal…So I keep on living my amazing, wonderful life and maybe some day, in my travels, I will meet someone interesting enough, secure enough, funny enough and smart enough to make ME take a double look.
So, carrying on and being me! I feel like these were the words right out of my own head! I never expected to be here at this stage in life as a still-single woman! This is exactly how I feel. Waited 5 years after second divorce to date, to get myself together, to learn to forgive and trust.
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Dated and then got into another bad relationship. Another man I was going to help to love me. I can definitely relate to this. Mandy — Single at 36, and can completely relate to everything in your post. It scares me sometimes thinking about what will happen when I get old — who will take care of me and love me… I put up a brave face and try to enjoy the good sides of it, like travelling or taking up jobs far away from home. But deep inside yes I do feel the void.
Have you sneaked inside my brain. Your words read like everything I think I agree with Jenn. Spent most of my 20s being silly and praying my period would arrive. I am 37 single with no kids with a raft of what if and if only. I will keep reading your blog realising. None of us in this boat are alone xxx. This is so timely. I am older than you and my husband left after 10 years of marriage. I may just remain single which may not be a bad thing. This article has hit the nail on the head. No more self hate talk!
I do the same thing! Always wishing for something! More money, bigger boobs, less fat, whiter teeth, more time, more laughter. Always on the run, waiting for something in the future and wishing today away. Today starts a new approach. Living in the moment with my eyes on Christ! Keeping our eyes on Him lets us walk on water!!! But rather, too much pep talk annoys me.
And you just answered why. The bible says that we have this treasure Christ in us , in earthen vessels our bodies. I personally believe that you got to have those days that you feel weary. And I often found that during these times the Lord catches me best. As a 35 soon to be 36 year old woman, I totally relate to this post. Please give yourself some grace in this area. Thanks for sharing and I hope the readers that can relate to this post encourage you to just keep on your journey being exactly who you are.
To friends around those of us going through divorce, be it currently or 5 years ago, I ask for patience. It takes a lot of time to work through all of the detritus of divorce. And with a kiddo in the mix? Thank you for peeling back some layers and showing the ugly truth. And yes, I agree that we do need to be open and honest about the ugly parts too.
I refuse to whine, wallow or any of that about being single. Not everything about it is bad. Not by any stretch. I can barely see through my tears to type this. I know it never will. No man can be serious enough or even know what they want for the future. Well done on being brave enough to face the turmoil inside, even though you may not feel strong right now. Your fear is so totally understandable. I myself need medication, too, and many days I still fight to be grateful and hopeful The ONLY hopeless situation is one in which you give up.
I just see from your post that you have or are considering giving up on a search for hope at all. Let me say that again: But we are ultimately responsible for opening our hands and accepting the good things God has put in place for us. The help we lonely people need does require us to stand up, pick up a phone, and talk to someone. Single at 41…soon to be Struggling with being single.
Two failed marriages wrong men , one serious relationship that failed and almost destroyed me I felt he was my true love , and most recently a year casually dating a guy that was not ready but I kept on with him thinking I could make him get there by being totally into him. I was myself from the start but not a fit for him. I feel like it was outward thing about me and what I do for work , not to mention location of where I live as to why he has distanced himself from me.
Have I not picked up on the hints he is dropping? Life not going as I dreamt that it would. They want the benefits of a relationship but not the stress of one and plenty of women to give it to them. This goes for both men and women. Single life is not rewarding. You said every single thing that a single woman in the 30s could think inside and coild say outside thank you for these totally meaningful words. Thank you for this post! I am 39 and still looking for the one.
The one who will not only accept my imperfections but embrace them. I constantly put on my suit of armour and tell people just how great my life is. I have a great job, my own place and an adorable dog. But inside all I want is someone to come home to at the end of the day….. I giggled when you said some days you think anyone will do. I myself am 39 and have said that many times.
Best of luck to you! Dear Mandy Where do we go from here? How do we change our attitudes so that we can be open to Love again. I do believe we have created barriers for ourselves and have become stuck in a rut for fear of heartbreak. I am almost 53 and single for 14 years. This is getting boring but how do we leave our comfort zones? I think I may be in Love with someone but too afraid to tell him and besides this crush I have had for 11 years could be my way of staying single as a defense mechanism. He has shown no interest although he comes across as shy and flustered when he sees me. Strange how we can let time slip by… almost unnoticed.
The ugly truth needs to be exposed so we can heal and allow ourselves to be truly cherished the way we deserve to be loved. Your story is precisely my experience … people compliment me all the time… I am the only person that does not believe I am beautiful — bless your heart Mandy — let go and let God. Lately the guys that I meet end up being immature, have too many problems or are just overall losers.
You inspire me everyday to be a strong independent woman. The right guy will come along for all us. I know… It will happen! I forgot to include that it would be awesome to meet you and would be awesome for all of us single ladies here to get together! He tells us not to be anxious in anything to trust in Him to supply all our needs.
When I feel lonely, I will pray and God will give me a sign that he hears me. The more we force the issue the more we will be disappointed. And in the mean time have fun with your lives and continue to keep the faith!! Maybe I focused too much on school and then on my job.
Maybe I was too driven and my tunnel vision kept me from meeting Mr Right at that frat party I passed on in order to get some more study time in. This spoke the truth like nothing else I have read. Its nice to know I am not alone even if I am single lol. Thank you for writing this! I needed this today because I was starting to feel really lonely but I learned to embrace my loneliness and deal with it. It helps to be truthful with yourself and not feel like you have to have an answer to being single. This is a great article and I feel like it completely describes me in every way.
Thank you for writing the TRUTH so that all of us that have these fears that we may not discuss to others know that we are not alone and that it is ok to feel like this. Things have been real tough the past few weeks but by the grace of God, I know He has greater things set aside for each of us. Our best days are yet to come! This was exactly what I needed to read.. I love the honesty and I have felt these emotions so many times.
I hate being asked that question because I take the tone as what is wrong with you. But I have hope because I met someone a couple months ago. But at 32 I almost feel like I have preconditioned myself to expect failure. I guess it amounts to getting out of our own way and letting things develop. But sometimes someone stumbles in our path when we least expect it and accept us flaws and all. Well guess what, being single is hard too. Dating is definitely NOT what it used to be.
So, I pick myself up again and each time I wonder if this it… The last time I will go through that familiar pain. Thanks Mandy I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for sharing this. But the bottom line is we are human. We have wants, needs, and desires. So what am I learning? So thank you-for sharing your thoughts. Thanks for the honesty.
Overcoming our self-doubt can be harder sometimes than dealing with rejection or criticism from others. One thing that has helped me is to try to talk to myself as if I were talking to a friend. I would never tell a friend she was worthless or no one would ever want to be with her, but I tell myself that — even though I am a wonderful being and know that God made me who I am on purpose, with a purpose. It can be a daily struggle. Wow, this is exactly what I am going through.
I have said all these things to myself. I have been praying and doing a lot of meditating. But still hard some days. I needed to read this right now. Weeping not sure of the reason and feeling tired of being lonely behind closed doors so that I do not allow anyone to see my struggle , I get tired of hiding the fact this process is difficult.
Mandy, I appreciate this…you describe exactly how I feel. No divorces and no kids. Mind you, he pursued me. So, I accept it. We are in this together. My son is And barely how to talk to guys. I have been trying to step out of my comfort zone, but I feel so drowned by fear. I was rejected for everything I was.
I feel your pain. Getting past these fears are a serious struggle. I really love what you wrote. I am 38 39 in September a single mom, once engaged but never married. I too try to stay positive but its difficult. I appreciate all of the ladies here who expressed their feelings and you Mandy for having this blog available for us. My wish is that we all find the true, honest, loving relationships we long for. Love and blessings to all of you. Thank you for sharing these very real thoughts and emotions.
My heart literally hurts and I struggle to find happiness. Just yesterday I had a coming apart with God. I so desperately needed this post today. Looking amazing, wonderful size 8, thank you Pilates! I also love Jesus. I have fabulous friends. I attend an incredible church. I own my own company. I love so many things, all of which I enjoy. I am involved in just about every way I can be…. Prayer, tears, and fighting the good fight each day, to claim my life as God intends and accept His will.
He never promised happiness. His plan is bigger than my pain. I am weary of it and yet each day, I rise and thank Him again. You are not alone. I want so desperately to be a partner in a marriage. I have strong faith and know God has a plan in it all. Thank you for sharing your honesty! It does help to know we are not alone in this. Thank you for this blog! Sometimes I absolutely love it! I can do what I please, when I want or how I want without checking in with a significant other. These were guys that I was interested in and they approached me or were flirting with me or so I thought.
I have spent many days and nights analyzing what went wrong. I have yet to come up with definite answers. I wish I would though. I sometimes wonder if I want it too much and that maybe I should just let it go. I felt like you was speaking my story. I too was in a toxic relationship for years.. He was my first love and is the father of my kids. This is the year I turn 40! Never in my life did I imagine I would be single by the time I reached the big This really brings home all of my doubts and fears. Am I pretty enough? Will he accept me as I am?
It is hard being single! Have you ever read this book? I read it last year and recommend it to my clients a lot. It helps so many women…please keep it up! U are Not ALONE trust me ur ugly truth is my truth too, Thank you for being you and In very and truly grateful that God is using you to speak to women on theses topics because they are much appreciated. That ugly truth is my truth.
Scared, angry, unworthy, unlovable. My exhusband of over 15 years told me that I would never be happy. About 2 years after my divorce, I met Paul. Paul was a breath-taking, tall, romantic, and handsome man. He used to write me love letters, leave cards on my windshield while I was at work, stare and smile at me for no good reason.
Now, 13 years later…we are still not married. About a month ago, I asked him why;that being married was very important to me and he knew it was. We used to have fun. Now we live a confined life. Of course after 13 years, there was a lot more to it than just that conversation, but that conversation is what ended it all. I think I remained in a loveless relationship for 10 years out of fear of being alone for the rest of my life.
I do feel unlovable, not good enough, ugly, and fat. I feel diseased and unwell. Thank you for sharing your truths. Among all the things I feel right now, alone, is no longer one of them! Freeing your heart from the need to be perfect by Holley Gerth. I have so much to give and pray that He sends me a man I will actually have chemistry with.
Although I love my independence and free to do as I please, I long for the day when the search is over. When I meet that smile and when I close my eyes at night I see the eyes of my best friend looking back at me. I long for that love, peace and security of having a partner again. Thank you for your humor and all your writings which have been a source of comfort. I turned 45 yrs old this past Sunday. Although through the years I have had a few long-term relationships, I sit here at the middle of life…single. I have certainly told myself all of the negative comments, and then some.
Thank you for writing this blog. I look forward to more from you. What a wonderful post, I just adore you! We are beautiful and lovable, and we deserve the very best! Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability. Your words speak volumes of truth. I am single and age I am adjusting to the fact that unless I wreck into someone out on my commute, there is minimal chance I will meet someone. Thank you for your blog! I agree with you on the men not noticing me at all comment. A few years back a lady at my church gave me a makeover and many men who never spoke to me before or noticed me before started noticing me.
Seems shallow to me. I am judged harshly for my age, not being married, having no kids, not drinking, etc. Thank you so much for this! Being single is HARD, but so are relationships. Its nice to know that Im not the only one out there that questions themselves……. This is how I have felt at times, but recently I decided to go to a large church and it was there that I began to have several guys approach me — just after I thought that season was over. You and I are the same age, born in the Fall like you, too.
You changed my life. I thought I was the only one! And then you came along and all the single women cowering in the shadows of public opinion started stepping out unashamedly into the light. You are a Godsend, Mandy, to thousands of women and people around the world! I believe God sent you to light the way… and to dry our tears. And sometimes to cry from laughter, or at how vulnerable we feel after you touch something in our souls that only Mandy Hale ever could.
You are beautifully, perfectly imperfect. The bright diamond on our social media. You have often been the sunshine after our rainy days. Someone as brave and as inspiring as you, deserves everything wonderful. Thank you for opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of so many. The truth is it happens when it happens and no one really knows why it just does. I rather believe that someday unbeknownst to me I will be guided to the man that is meant for me. Meanwhile there is no reason to why I am single I just am. Hi Mandy, This was so well written and articulated, which really struck a chord wit me.
I have some underlining issues and am currently in therapy to resolve. However, I have those same excuses. Thank you for this enlightening message. Everything you write speaks to my heart, and even more so with this raw realness. Thank you for sharing your heart!
I was married for 10 years and he was all I knew. I just have to get to know a person. I have had the same problem of not meeting men as well. Now it seems like I walk into a room and I go un-noticed, as well as everyone is paired up already. Thank you so much for writing this blog.
I am 43, single, never married, and refusing to settle. I always envisioned myself as married with about 4 children, but God has a different plan for me. Brene Brown would be so proud of you right now!!!!! Your vulnerability just made me a reader again. Today you caught my eye and of course I had to read and now you have truly won me over again.
It is like a hole inside of me every day that I have not been granted the one thing I wanted, to have a baby and a family with someone. I feel totally invisible. And I am the queen of negative self talk. I have to work on it everyday. Whew, there, what a relief, I just spit it out and said it to a whole slew of your readers instead of just my close circle of friends!
Not locking it inside. And now that it is released, may we all be able to speak the positive back in and take comfort in the good things about being single. At least we are not in a terrible and unhappy relationship or marriage, right? Reading this today and reading others comments really, really does help. May we all find comfort here and the ability to keep the faith and let go.
Mandy you have spoken to my heart deeply tonight. Your blog came to me via my 26 year old girlfriend, who thought I would find this interesting. He just married a little over a year ago at the age of 42! Apparently the men struggle too. As for me, I am approaching 4 years with a man who loves me flaws and all, and I am struggling with the barrier of loving my own self unconditionally such that I have a hard time receiving his love.
The negative self talk, anxiety, and performance driven mentality is a barrier to intimacy, vulnerability and openness, not to mention empathy, compassion and unlimited joy. I am in therapy because life has happened and I am woman enough to own my own stuff. Im standing for a breakthrough. Keep up the openness of your journey Mandy, I hope to one day blog and share my journey with you. My blessings are too numerous to count. And that was after a LONG drought where i had finally come to terms with being alone.
I truly am hopeless and devastated and wonder how things have gone so wrong. I wake up every morning and put one foot in front of the other. Thank you for this post. I am a 31 year old single woman who has never been in a serious or long term relationship…or really any romantic relationship for that matter. I almost feel afraid of it at this point. I do think part of it is just me being afraid and having shied away from guys at times. I think of all my flaws and sometimes I wonder if I really have anything to offer in a relationship. I could probably go on and I do feel like I just sound negative but you know what?
Thank you for allowing yourself to be so real with us. But that is my relationship frustrations for the day. Feels good to vent it out. My kids are grown and on their own and sometimes I feel like I have nothing left. Then I blame myself for not having enough confidence and allowing myself to believe what I think is wrong with me! Your heart is ravishing with hope, as mine.
In 45, and experienced identical journeys. Bless us and all ladies. Married women do feel more alone than us. God is watching over our path. For so many reasons. This is where I am in my journey!
Day Eleven: Why I’m Still Single (The Ugly Truth)
Truly, some days are great and being single is awesome! And there are the other days…Thanks for being real! We have to be positive! None of us are approachable with a rain cloud hovering over our head! Seriously though, you said it! Truth is sometimes difficult to accept. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I am miserable being 37 and still single. I have a very hard time meeting men. I went 7 years without a man in my life after my last relationship ended. No one I met ever wanted to date me. I am devastated and am filled with self-doubt. Why am I not allowed to be miserable about being single? Thank you, thank you for putting into words what us single girls are thinking. It is ok to feel sad and mad and glad. I am so glad I am not the only 36 year old who wonders what is wrong with me. I am just in a different stage than others. Hopefully that will change for all of us one day!
Thanks for being honest! Thank you for sharing your heart. I am right there with you in the fight! She is 10 years younger than me and has waited a long time for this gift. I have had lucid visions, where I round-house kicked each of those people in the face for being idiots. That makes the waiting bearable. It stinks changing my own light bulbs; killing my own cockroaches, spiders and mice; eating left-overs for days or freezer burned with a thick crust of ice over the top ; and walking to church through a rainy parking lot while women with husbands get dropped off at the front door.
It absolutely stinks…and I long for the day to have an earthly companion to share those experiences. I think there was a glitch in posting, so reposting: Thank you — so much — for saying this! You have really hit the nail on the head. So often I, too, would like to do the same thing roundhouse kick those folks with their platitudes. It is sometimes so annoying, though well-meaning I am sure, and loaded with so much privilege. Anyway, thanks so much for your thoughts, they are resonating with me this morning. I spent a lot of time lamenting my singleness. I volunteered as a Big Sister, at a petting zoo, as a fire fighter, emergency medical responder, with search and rescue and as a jail guard.
I rescue dogs and advocate for animal rights. I learned that I love history, genealogy and everything gold rush. I am an artist and a leader and that to define yourself by just one or two things is so very limiting. My original career is now over and despite the uncertainty of the next 6 months I am both frightened and exhilarated. It is hard being single mostly because you have to do all the work myself but I only do what I need done I have a high tolerance for dirt-having 4 dogs and 1 cat.
I recently received the best compliment from the 27 year old daughter of my neighbor: I want to be like Row. She does whatever she wants. Every word is what I feel everyday! I pray every day for the man God has for me. Thanks for being honest, Mandy. I can really feel that I am not alone. More positive thoughts for all of us! God has a plan. Just what I needed. I can never put into words how I feel. You did an excellent job of summing it up.
I really appreciate you!