They were protecting me: child of divorce

Amazingly, they got along quite well. It left me wondering if life would've been different had they cut the cord a decade or so sooner. The worst thing you can do about a failing marriage is to ignore that it's failing. Because ignoring it for one day turns into ignoring it for two weeks, then a year One conversation can be the catalyst for taking steps to improve the marriage or collectively deciding all parties would be better served by a separation.

Help Deciding if You Should Stay Together for the Children

I am not encouraging anyone to leave their spouse. But you are neither doing yourself nor your children a favor by sticking around and projecting a rotten attitude day after day.

Blink 182 - Stay Together For The Kids (Live @ Leno)

If there is love between the two of you and you're both willing to work at it, there is certainly value in staying together despite the struggle. But if one or both of you have already checked out, you're only tarnishing your children's memories with angst. When I was 20, right around the time dad had moved out, I was rummaging through some boxes looking for old photos. I came across a rather official-looking piece of paper with my parents' names typed across the top.

It was their marriage license. Since they never celebrated their anniversary, I had no idea when it actually was. I couldn't believe my eyes. I looked at the date on the paper and then to the calendar on the wall. That day was my parents' 25th wedding anniversary. Astonished, I shared the news with my mother, who was equally unaware. We shared a pained grin and a shrug. It was a sad, yet appropriate, moment.

Devastatingly, mom passed away in But dad remarried in , and by his own account, has never been happier. I'm thrilled about that. I only wish my existence hadn't indirectly prevented that happiness for so many years.


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If you're having marital issues, do your children and yourselves a favor and address them. Or run the risk of one of your kids uncorking deep-seeded feelings in a HuffPost blog. Not communicating is never the answer. Fantasy football, cheeseburger, Larry David enthusiast.

It's not an honest family dynamic: psychologist

News Politics Entertainment Communities. Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos. Be honest with each other about your future together Two happy separated parents are better than two miserable together parents. Tattoo Artists Weigh In. But the fact that I am a more confident, happy and healthier person really speaks volumes," she said.


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Ms Bennett says if the relationship isn't improving after seeking help, it's not healthy to remain as a family unit. First posted April 19, If you have inside knowledge of a topic in the news, contact the ABC. ABC teams share the story behind the story and insights into the making of digital, TV and radio content.

Why staying together ‘for the sake of the kids’ is the worst thing that parents can do

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Stay Together for the Kids - Wikipedia

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