Many people found them annoying. If character-building traits also lead to a good personality, so much the better. Socrates and Diogenes were not the most popular guys on the block, but they were probably the most content with their lives. Here are just a few of them: I believe you can and should shape character by teaching appropriate thought and action.
But personality is different. For example, you might want your quiet and sensitive daughter to learn to speak up for herself.
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This is a very noble intention. However, in my experience, if you really want your shy child to speak up, then you should help her become confident in who she is. If you keep telling her to be more outgoing, she will get a very loud and clear message that she is not good enough, that there is something wrong with her for being shy. But if you love her for the quiet person she is, she will learn to be confident in herself.
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Being confident in her inner character will give her the ability to speak up for herself when necessary. Being insecure about her personality will only make her less confident and more anxious or shy. Our kids get plenty of messages from the world friends, classmates, tv shows about what their personalities should be. What they need from us as parents is an understanding of what their character should be. People of any personality type can be happy, so this is not an important factor in the art of living. But only people with one type of character a virtuous character can find eudaimonia.
When you look at it that way, it seems clear that personality is irrelevant for living a good life, but character is crucial.
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Which one do you want to give your child? Hi Brittany…very well written. Thanks for bringing in another perspective, Jasan. Does Krishnamurti see any conflict between the pursuit of virtue and of a pleasant personality, or do they complement each other?
It sends the message that this is what really matters in life. Our kids will learn to value virtue for its own sake, not because it makes you popular. They will be more likely to judge other people based on their character, so that they choose their friends and future romantic partners wisely.
Kids often see parents placing a high value on their work life, Dudley said, and taking family time to be active shows kids that fitness is important, too. Forming such routines can have added benefits, Everett points out. It gets adults to exercise, and it helps children form healthy habits at an early age. They don't worry about sweat or about getting their hair messed up.
Melinda Smith, coordinator for health and physical education at the Plano, Texas, school district, regularly makes time to swim, walk or bicycle with her 5-year-old son. Don't place too much emphasis on organized sports, either, experts say.
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Put up a basketball hoop near your garage; encourage children to go outside and play with friends; or enroll them in gymnastics, soccer or ballet classes to see what they shine at. Sailing, fishing, yoga, Pilates, rock wall climbing, skateboarding, horseback riding and even riflery are healthy activities that get children outdoors and onto their feet, experts say.
Even some chores have the added benefit of getting children outdoors--raking leaves, for example. Smith said her family washed their car together in the driveway "just to stay active.
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Parents should also encourage kids to simply get out and play. Some parents put too much emphasis on signing children up for sports camps, and kids don't get much unstructured outdoor time, Everett said. But for parents in two-income households, that raises a delicate issue. Many families worry about kids playing outdoors without a parent's supervision--and if kids arrive home before parents do, many end up in front of a television or a computer, Dudley said.
For those families, Dudley said, there is no good answer. But enlisting a friend or neighbor can often help solve the problem. If a child's friend has parents who arrive home early, encourage those two children to play together in the afternoon. Or seek out after-school centers with physical activities that get kids moving around. They don't realize the effects that significant amounts of sedentary time are going to have on these children. Look for this banner for recommended activities.