On college I learned, that it actually was a sphere flattened at the poles. On the university, I learned that it was a geoid. I looked up the word and found it meant 'Earth-shaped'. The guys are back playing the steel drums by the pool bar, but now the music seems creepy, like when children sing in a horror movie or when guys play steel drums on a cruise ship that almost sank. There's only one thing that I know how to do well And I've often been told that you only can do What you know how to do well And that's be you Be what you're like Be like yourself.

What kind of pyre? A pyre of fire! Captain Obvious to the rescue! You're not afraid of a little pain, are you? There's a cat cloud, there's a dog cloud Eroge a Japanese abbreviation of "Erotic Game" are sometimes referred to as "Eroge games" in text. Ken Patera faced Bobby Heenan in a debate over his prison sentence and remarked, " I had a lot of time to think about the Bobby Heenan types of this world. Which he ended with a now-famous botched line, "And that's why I kicked your leg out from under your leg. Extreme Championship Wrestling wrestling.

That's been a rather common thing with many wrestling companies with the words in their abbreviations.


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For those that don't get it, Toryumon means "climbing up dragon gate". CM Punk looks like a punk. Kennedy before he left WWE and became Mr. Anderson in TNA , Mr. Kennedy once introduced himself, perhaps referencing Austin Powers , by saying "Please allow myself to introduce myself! It has been parodied a couple of times.

Swagger, whether out of fondness for Michaels or amusement at the joke, has since adopted the term. British comedian Simon Munnery, in his stand up show Hello illustrates a point with a Venn diagram, consisting of two overlapping circles, one labelled Diagrams, one labelled Overlapping Circles and the overlap labelled Venn Diagrams.

That'd be like blowing a guy for a half hour for sold-out concert tickets and then finding out they're selling them at the door. There's no other way to complete that analogy 'cause that's the shittiest thing that could ever happen to you. The thong is the victim. I'm amazed that two grown men can't sit down and discuss their problems like Warhammer 40, 's fluff for the orks states that orks who have themselves wired into Killa Kans find that the biggest downside to being permanently sealed inside a giant metal can is being permanently sealed inside a giant metal can.

His current form is the Dragon he was once merely the Shadow of. The rules of Fluxx can be summed up thus: The person who goes first is the person who goes first. The person who goes second is the person who goes second. The winner is the first person to win. All other rules will be in full view at all times that they are in play.

The game has some pretty hefty and thorough wording in its comprehensive rules, one of which amounts to: If something would knock out all players at the exact same time, then nobody "wins". It also serves as the default way for a winner to be declared, as there are card effects that can outright declare a player the winner, as well as card effects that can declare that a player loses. There's also the card Platinum Angel: Even worse, it's necessary that the card specify "the game" and the rules clarify what the term means, as while this should never happen in a tournament setting there are ways in which you can be forced into playing additional games against the same opponents and there are ways in which a card played by somebody who isn't even in your game can affect it.

It's still theoretically possible to start a game, play Platinum Angel at some point before that game ends, and lose the game without Platinum Angel having left play Phyrexians, generally speaking, look like Phyrexians. William Shakespeare wrote several examples: Antony and Cleopatra is the Trope Namer , as shown in the exchange at the beginning of this page.

Hamlet , Act II, Scene 2: Your noble son is mad: Mad call I it, for to define true madness, What is't but to be nothing else but mad? But let that go. Redundant speeches were pretty much Polonius' shtick when he wasn't busy being self-contradictory. What must be, shall be. Well that's a certain text. To be up late is to be up late! For, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, "That that is is;" so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for, what is "that" but "that", and "is" but "is"?

What kind o' man is he? If there sit twelve women at this table, let a dozen of them be as they are. Where liest o' nights, Timon? Under that's above me. Where feed'st thou o' days, Apemantus? Where my stomach finds meat; or, rather, where I eat it. Officers, what offence have these men done? Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.

Once a man is, he should make sure he is. And once he makes sure he is, and is, he should be what he is, and shouldn't be what he's not, as is often the case. Of course I know what this is. And a pretty piece of work it is too. If I'm who I am because I'm who I am, and you're who you are because you're who you are, then I'm who I am and you're who you are. If on the other hand, I'm who I am because you're who you are, and if you're who you are because I'm who I am, then I'm not who I am and you're not who you are.

How much do you pay this man? It's like a party with revenge is what it's like. It's like a party with revenge is what we're throwin'. There are a few Homestar Runner examples: The Cheat Theme Song: Who's the man that looks like The Cheat? My internet's crawling along like If I had to pick one word to describe myself, it would probably be Maybe he's just going to the ATM machine.

Splunge is for Splunge. I baked you a pie. The evil Enigmarons are threatening the Earth from their moon base on the moon! Our thieves are only allowed to steal from the people that our thieves are allowed to steal from! My employee's circular logic notwithstanding, she is correct. Faye, you're my friend but if you steal Sven away from me I'll murder you so hard you'll die from it.

Primarily known as the guy who looks great in suspenders and ticks an awful lot, Ples is the guy who [unsurprisingly] looks great in suspenders and ticks an awful lot.

Queering up your shelf, one rec at a time!

Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, the killer committed the crime and made it look like a shark attack because the killer was hungry , and happened to be a shark? You obviously know nothing about police work. I feel like I'm on a bad reality show, which is ironic because I am on a bad reality show. Web Original Stories on the Internet. The Evil League of Evil, in Dr. The Musical , Felicia Day describes art as "magic as a magic thing" and "lovely as love.

The Grinning Man , he responds to a character claiming to be happier than a pig in shit by stating himself to be as bored as a person that's bored. Blue , the evil AI O'Malley gives this speech: Only now do you realize the folly of your follies! Prepare for and oblivion for which there is no preparation!

Kill would always murder his victims See, what happened there is you guys caught me singing "Judy Moonlight. Because, Judy Moonlight is the one the song is about. But because I sing with singiness, the dreams I'll dream I'll dream! What's your favourite idea? Mine is being creative! How do you get that idea? I just try to think creatively. Western Animation Cartoons from the Occidental World.

From the aborted Buffy the Vampire Slayer animated series. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man. Swee'Pea went into the factory! He'll be killed to death!! Super King you rule! Cloberella beats you up Cloberella beats you up Who does she beat up? Citizens, never fear Crazy do-good freaks are here Until they run out of steam Miracle cream, miracle cream Gives the power to the team Its effects wear off for sure So they just slop on some more.

The New Justice Team! Fry, you half-mad, half-insane maniac! I forgot you could tempt me with things I want You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go. The way I communicate is much different. I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again. I am clear, concise, to the point!

We were flying to Mojo Jojo's house. Oh, and then there were these really pretty clouds. And there was one that was shaped like a heart, and there was this one that looked like a pretty pony, and there was one that looked like a cloud One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one!

Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out! Do you smell it? A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells Do not cheer me, fellow adult students. Flatts is the real victim here. A victim of a society that's going down a violent road to nowhere Prolonged exposure to the orb of confusion will give you If we're still alive in the morning, then we'll know we're not dead.

Behold, the two headed dog, born with only one head! And behold, out of the mists of time, the legendary Esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit, and the body Due to our policy of overselling flights, this flight has been oversold. But what was really like a drug were the drugs. You will always be my little brothers Because you're younger, we're related And you're boys. That voice of yours is a goldmine. That's right, a mine fulla gold! Mansionland, that's right, a land fulla mansions! And I was gonna ventilate yo head brain with this here gun bullet. Gun bullet, heh, that's redundant.

You're from the Big Blue? Well, it's, uh, big, and it's blue. I will see you there! And by will, I mean won't! Laughs and leaves Returning Cos you're not invited. I, er, wasn't sure if I was clear earlier. Leaves Returns To my party! Leaves Returns Forgot to wash my hands! Everything that exists has a specific nature. Each entity exists as something in particular and has certain characteristics that are part of what it is.

And, no matter what reality he calls home, Luthor is Luthor. Well, actually, kryptonite is my kryptonite. I came here to notify you about the Brotherhood of Evil. They mean to harm us all. They are quite evil. Hey, cro-magnon, you can't use a word to define itself. And everyone knows that where there is one witch, there will be others Cressida Cowell is the author and the illustrator of the bestselling How to Train Your Dragon book series. Cressida is also the author of the Emily Brown picture books, illustrated by Neal Layton.

How to Train Your Dragon has sold over 8 million books worldwide in 38 languages. She grew up in London and on a small, uninhabited island off the west coast of Scotland and she now lives in Hammersmith with her husband, three children and a dog called Pigeon. Kindly donated by Cressida Cowell. I'll Keep You Safe: Paperback signed by Peter. A thriller that alternates between the glamorous fashion world of Paris and the rugged beauty of the Isle of Harris in the Scottish Hebrides.

When a fabric entrepreneur is killed in a car explosion in Paris, Niamh, his wife and business partner, becomes the prime suspect. The Parisian police continue to hound her when she returns to Harris to bury her husband's remains. After an attempt is made on her life, Niamh has to wonder if the motive is simply money, or something far more personal. Peter May is a Scottish television screenwriter, novelist, and crime writer. He is the recipient of writing awards in Europe and America. The Blackhouse won the U.

Peter's books have sold more than two million copies in the UK and several million internationally. Kindly donated by Peter May. House of Hopes and Dreams: No Charge The Content: Angel Arrowsmith has spent the last ten years happily working and living with her artist mentor and partner. But suddenly bereaved, she finds herself heartbroken, without a home or a livelihood.

Life will never be the same again — until old friend Carey Revell comes to the rescue. They move in to Mossby with high hopes. But the house has a secret at its heart: Will all their dreams for happiness be shattered? Or can Carey and Angel find a way to make this house a home?

She likes to paint, eat, drink, and read literary biographies. Her previous hobbies included getting divorced and packing to move. She lives in North Wales. Kindly donated by Trisha Ashley. Katie and the Dinosaurs: Signed Paperback with added illustrations by James. Entering a door at the Natural History Museum marked "No Admittance," Katie finds herself in the world of the dinosaurs.

She helps a baby dinosaur find his family, rides on the back of a Brontosaurus, and has a picnic with a Triceratops. But just what will she feed a very hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex? His first book for children was Katie's Pictures Show, Orchard Books establishing the long running series about a child's adventures in an art gallery. Many of his books have a cultural agenda and James is passionate about introducing children to art, music, opera, ballet and traditional tales.

He has published over 60 books, and illustrated and written for many other colleagues including Philippa Pearce, Martin Waddell and Jackie Morris. As a storyteller he has devised and performed a series of sell-out concerts for children with the de Havilland Philharmonic Orchestra, and has participated in prom performances at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden. All Among The Barley: From the author of Costa-shortlisted and Baileys-longlisted At Hawthorn Time comes a major new novel.

Set on a farm in Suffolk just before the Second World War, it introduces a girl on the cusp of adulthood. Fourteen-year-old Edie Mather lives with her family at Wych Farm, where the shadow of the Great War still hangs over a community impoverished by the Great Depression. Glamorous outsider Constance FitzAllen arrives from London, determined to make a record of fading rural traditions and beliefs, and to persuade Edie's family to return to the old ways rather than embrace modernity.

She brings with her new political and social ideas — some far more dangerous than others. For Edie, who has just finished school and must soon decide what to do with her life, Connie appears to be a godsend. But there is more to the older woman than meets the eye. As harvest time approaches and the pressures mount on the entire Mather family, Edie must decide whose version of reality to trust, and how best to save herself from disaster. A masterful evocation of the rhythms of the natural world and pastoral life, All Among the Barley is also a powerful and timely novel about influence, the lessons of history and the dangers of nostalgia.

She is a nature writer, critic and columnist for The Times, the Financial Times and the Guardian, among others. Her new novel All Among the Barley is due for publication in August, Kindly donated by Melissa Harrison. Brightstorm A Sky Ship Adventure: Vashti will personally post her book out to the winning bidder. Twins Arthur and Maudie receive word in Lontown that their famous explorer father died in a failed attempt to reach South Polaris.

Not only that, but he has been accused of trying to steal fuel from his competitors before he died! The twins don't believe the news, and they answer an ad to help crew a new exploration attempt in the hope of learning the truth and salvaging their family's reputation. As the winged ship Aurora sets sail, the twins must keep their wits about them and prove themselves worthy of the rest of the crew. But will Arthur and Maudie find the answers they seek? Vashti Hardy is a writer of children's books living near Brighton in Sussex with her husband and three teens.

After leaving teaching to focus more on her writing, she became a copywriter and digital marketing executive. Vashti is an alumni member and writing buddy of The Golden Egg Academy. Kindly donated by Vashti Hardy. Singing In The Rain: Tim will personally post his book to the winning bidder. I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, Oh, what a glorious feeling! Spring calls in this classic Broadway number, brought to life in a beautiful picture book--perfect for sharing!

Jump in puddles, raise umbrellas, and dance with joy through the pages of this visual story. With colorful, springy scenes and the familiar lyrics, this is a beautiful, gift-worthy, feel-good read-aloud. He lives in York, England. Kindly donated by Tim Hopgood. The House Of New Beginnings: Free of Charge Lucy will personally post her book to the winning bidder. On moving to Brighton, Georgie finds throwing herself into the city's delights fun and exciting, but before she knows it, she's sliding into all kinds of trouble. Charlotte's in the city for a new start, hoping to keep her head down and somehow get over the heart breaking loss she's suffered in the past.

A terrible revelation sent Rosa running from London to start again as a sous chef. The work is gruelling but what if Rosa's passion for food could lead her to more interesting places? As the three tenants find each other, it's as if a whole new chapter of their lives has begun. The Author; Lucy Diamond is an English author of chick lit novels.

She was born in and grew up in Nottingham. Her real name is Sue Mongredien, under which name she has authored several children's books,including books in The Sleepover Club series. Kindly donated by Lucy Diamond. Free of Charge Kevin will post his book directly to the winning bidder. Phuket, Thailand, seemed to be the perfect getaway choice for twenty-two-year-old Calum Armstrong: What he saw, and did on that holiday proves to have far- reaching consequences; not only for himself, but also for those closest to him.

In Germany, uncompromising Frankfurt detective, Otto Netzer,is leading the manhunt for a brutal serial killer who preys on heavily-pregnant women… Neither Calum, nor the killer, yet realise that their destiny lies in the hands of a mythical creature who resides beneath the turquoise waters of the Andaman Sea. I was born of Irish parents, and have lived in Malaysia and Germany: I write in the magical realism genre, meshing otherworldliness into the harshness of our real world.

I also like to handcuff humour and tragedy to the same radiator. Perhaps incongruously for an author, I have a background in karate and kickboxing and also travel extensively — particularly in the Far East. I'm married to Julie , and currently live in Norwich, England. Kindly donated by Kevin Ansbro. Leon was founded on the twin principles that food can both taste good and do you good.

In this book, Leon authors Jane Baxter and John Vincent bring together recipes for fresh, vibrant, delicious salads that will have you feeling healthy and happy. Divided into chapters that include Classics, Naturally Fast, Salads for Friends, Family Salads and Lunchbox, this book contains salads for all tastes and all occasions. Whether you're looking for a bright salad with which to dazzle your friends, or a simple salad to take to the office, this book is a must-have kitchen staple. John is co-founder of Leon, which now has more than 55 restaurants including restaurants in Amsterdam, Utrecht, Oslo and Washington DC.

He believes food has the power to delight, invigorate and bring people together. He thinks that our relationship with food should be positive and joyous and that we need to listen more carefully to our gut, eat more good fats, less sugar. And a whole lot more plants.

Chef and food writer Jane Baxter is a regular columnist for Cook. She currently runs food and event company Wild Artichokes, based in Devon, and her latest book, co-written with Henry Dimbleby, is Leon: Kindly donated by Leon Restaurants. John Vincent Leon Restaurants. LEON was the first restaurant on the high street to pay attention to a new way of eating - championing gluten-, dairy- and sugar-free food. We've always done it. It's always done us and our customers good. Now it's time to stop it being a secret. From recipes for gluten-free Spaghetti Vongole to chocolate beetroot cake, breakfast dahl to chicken and olive tagine, this book contains recipes for every meal of the day and every occasion, and proves that a free-from menu can be utterly delicious.

Riddle of the Runes: Alva rushes through the trees in the dead of night with her sniffer wolf, Fen. Being out alone when there's a kidnapper on the loose is reckless, but if she ever wants to be an investigator like her Uncle Magnus, she'll need to be first to the crime scene. But what Alva discovers raises more questions than it answers, drawing her into a dangerous search for truth, and for treasure.

Janina is the course director for the Undergraduate Certificate in History of Art at the University of Oxford, and contributes to a number of courses, including a forthcoming seminar series on decoding symbols in art Trinity She continues to publish her research, most recently in international art history journal Gesta.

Janina loves teaching, and has found enthusiastically sharing ideas face-to-face with students fed perfectly into television and media work. She is currently working on a number of television and research projects. She lives in Oxfordshire with her husband, son, daughter and two cats. Kindly donated by Dr Janina Ramirez. Chloe will personally post her book to the winning bidder. When Emma Nash is ghosted by love of her life Leon Naylor, she does what any girl would do — spends the summer avoiding all human contact, surrounded by the Chewit wrappers he left behind.

Chloe Seager grew up in East London with her mum and much-loved cat, Katie. Chloe lives back in East London with her boyfriend and pet fish. Kindly donated by Chloe Seager. Friendship Fails of Emma Nash: Emma Nash is back…. Signing up for the school fashion show seems like the perfect opportunity. Would going back to creating a life for herself online reaaaaaallllyyy be so bad? A World On Fire: Free of Charge https: The two nations are divided, according to Amanda Foreman's history of the American civil war and its repercussions in Britain, not by a common language but by mutual animosity.

Don't trust the cant of politicians about a special relationship. Offered a choice between the industrial Union and the slave-owning Confederacy, an MP such as John Roebuck had no hesitation about who to back. The plantation owners of the south counted as honorary Englishmen; the immigrant hordes of the north were "the scum and refuse of Europe". She lives in New York with her husband and five children. She was born in London, brought up in Los Angeles, and educated in England. Kindly donated by Amanda Foreman. Tom will personally post his book to the winning bidder. It is always an event when Tom publishes a new book and this one is definitely no exception.

You will be greeted by the terrifying Tickler — a bizarre entity which attempts to tickle his victims to death, and you will learn about the Yovar — a race of ancient beings who are said to be even more evil than the Devil. There are accounts of timeslips in this amazing book and tales of witchcraft, possession and nercomancy; furthermore, you will read of two spine-chilling accounts of haunted sleepovers and an unearthly story about two strange deities who resurrected a heroin addict.

Lose yourself in the uncanny story of the teenager who fell in love with a satyr, but peruse the chapter on omens of death at your own risk, and do not dwell too long on the unsettling accounts of the ghost that gets around — the Night Maiden — or she may pay you a visit. These are just some of the terrors you will encounter in Haunted Liverpool Tom Slemen is a Liverpool writer, columnist and broadcaster, known foremostly as the author of the best-selling Haunted Liverpool series of books which document paranormal incidents and often unsolved or unusual crimes in his home town of Liverpool, past and present.

Kindly donated by Tom Slemen. Free of Charge Sarah will personally post her book to the winning bidder http: An internationally admired figure, Queen Elizabeth II is the most high-profile monarch in the world, and her enduring popularity is tantamount to her wide-ranging supporters. Spanning from to present day, Elizabeth reveals the details of Britain's longest-reigning monarch's extraordinary life.

Sarah Gristwood follows the twists and turns of Elizabeth Windsor's life and its key turning points—including her teenage years during the war, meeting and marrying the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Phillip Mountbatten, and her ascension to the throne in Sarah Gristwood is a best-selling Tudor biographer, former film journalist, and commentator on royal affairs. She wrote two bestselling Tudor biographies, Arbella: Kindly donated by Sarah Gristwood. Signed Hardback Personalised message available. Back at her childhood home, Maisey must make a heartrending life-or-death decision.

Searching for answers, Maisey uncovers one unspeakable secret after another when she stumbles upon a shattering truth: Kerry Anne King is the author of the international bestselling novel Closer Home. Licensed both as an RN and a Mental Health Counselor, she draws on her experience working in the medical and mental health fields to explore themes of loss, grief, and transformation. Kerry lives in a little house in the big woods of the inland northwest with her Viking, three cats, a dog, and a yard full of wild turkey and deer. She also writes fantasy and mystery novels as Kerry Schafer.

Kindly donated by Kerry Anne-King. Christmas at Rakehell Manor: Free of Charge Liz will personally post her book to the winning bidder. Prudence Eylesbarrow is resigned to dreary spinsterhood and to never finding love. All she wants is one Christmas where she's not at someone's beck and call. But when Prue finds herself snow-bound at the infamous Rakehell Manor, her curiosity with Hugo, Marquess of Warwick - mysterious, handsome, world-weary, cynical - tempts her to reveal passions she never knew she possessed.

Even so Prue is under no illusions. It was fool's game to think a penniless nobody could tame the master of Rakehell, for that way lay heartache and social ruin. Or has the time come for the power of passion, the promise of love and the magic of Christmas to unite two people from very different worlds? She lives in a village in the heart of England and writes whenever she can sneak away to her desk. Kindly donated by Liz Hanbury. A Thousand Paper Birds: Free of Charge Tor will personally post her book to winning bidder. Nothing is set in stone. A bird can be refolded into a boat, a fish, a kimono, or any other extravagant vision.

At other times it aches to return to its original folds. The paper begins to fray. After the sudden death of his wife, Audrey, Jonah sits on a bench in Kew Gardens, trying to reassemble the shattered pieces of his life. Chloe, shaven-headed and abrasive, finds solace in the origami she meticulously folds. But when she meets Jonah, her carefully constructed defenses threaten to fall. Milly, a child quick to laugh, freely roams Kew, finding beauty everywhere she goes.

But where is her mother and where does she go when the gardens are closed? Harry's purpose is to save plants from extinction. Quiet and enigmatic, he longs for something--or someone--who will root him more firmly to the earth. Audrey links these strangers together. As the mystery of her death unravels, the characters journey through the seasons to learn that stories, like paper, can be refolded and reformed. Haunted by songs and origami birds, this novel is a love letter to a garden and a hymn to lost things.

After studying theatre and film, Tor co-founded a dance-theatre company and spent most of her twenties directing, writing and performing. She taught drama for several years and choreographed an opera for The Royal College of Music. A Thousand Paper Birds is her first novel. She lives in London with her husband and two young children. Kindly donated by Tor Udal. I Am Watching You: Free of Charge Teresa will post her book directly to the winning bidder. When Ella Longfield overhears two attractive young men flirting with teenage girls on a train, she thinks nothing of it—until she realises they are fresh out of prison and her maternal instinct is put on high alert.

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The next day, she wakes up to the news that one of the girls—beautiful, green-eyed Anna Ballard—has disappeared. A year later, Anna is still missing. Someone is sending her threatening letters—letters that make her fear for her life.


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But they are watching Ella. Teresa also writes women's fiction. During her long career as a journalist, Teresa worked for newspapers, magazines and television, including 15 years presenting the BBC TV news programme Spotlight. Covering crime for so long, she was deeply moved by the haunting impact on the relatives, the friends and the witnesses and it is those ripples she explores now in her darker fiction. Teresa's books have been sold for translation in 15 languages. She lives in glorious Devon with her husband and two sons.

Kindly donated by Teresa Driscoll. Teresa will personally post her book to the winning bidder. On a train with her husband, miles from home and their four-year-old son, Ben, Sophie receives a chilling phone call. Two boys are in hospital after a tragic accident. One of them is Ben. She thought she could trust Emma, her new friend, to look after her little boy. Because how well does she know Emma, really? Should she have trusted her at all? Time is running out. Powerless to help her child, still hours from home, Sophie is about to discover the truth.

And her life will never be the same. Signed Paperback Personalised Message Available. Claire will personally post book to winning bidder http: When twelve-year-old Ava and her brother return to their birthplace of Wyse, they discovers that their once magical town has been losing its charms under the control of Lord Skinner. Uncovering a working magic mirror, Ava opens an unauthorized link to the twinned town of Unwyse, where she meets Howell, one of the unlucky Fair Folk who is being pursued by the terrifying Mr Bones.

Discovering that they are the joint guardians of a grumpy old book that can tell the future, the new friends are unexpectedly launched headlong into an adventure to uncover the mysterious link between Mr Bones and Lord Skinner, and to find out what's happening to the waning magic that connects their two worlds. Claire Fayers writes comic fantasy featuring swashbuckling pirates, evil magicians, heroic librarians and man-eating penguins.

She grew up in South Wales, studied English in Canterbury, and is now back in Wales where she spends a lot of her free time tramping around castles in the rain, looking for dragons. She has worked as a church caretaker, a shoe shop assistant, in accountancy, in health and safety, in IT, and in a library.

Only one of these prepared her in any way for life as a full-time author. Her first book came about quite accidentally after she won a writing competition. She was more surprised than anyone. She now works from her home in Cardiff and shares her workspace with a pair of demanding cats and an ever-expanding set of model dinosaurs. Kindly donated by Claire Fayers. Mark Of The Cyclops: Saviour will personally post book to winning bidder https: A thrilling mix of Sherlock Holmes and Ancient Greece from bestselling author Saviour Pirotta, with stunning illustrations from up-and-coming illustrator Freya Hartas.

This exciting adventure will have readers gripped from start to finish. Young scribe Nico's new friend Thrax has a strange knack for figuring things out. When they travel to wedding with their master, a valuable vase is broken and Thrax's special skills might just come in useful. Can the boys prove that slave girl Gaia is innocent, and discover what the mark of the cyclops means?

This dramatic and mysterious tale is packed with wonderful characters and insight into the daily life of the ancient Greeks, a required topic in the KS2 History curriculum. Perfect for fans of the Roman Mysteries, or anyone interested in ancient Greece. Saviour Pirotta is the award-winning author of over one hundred fiction and nonfiction books for children. His works have been translated into 28 languages. Originally from Malta, he now lives in England. Kindly donated by Saviour Pirotta. Secret Of The Oracle: The second book in the ancient Greek Mysteries series, a thrilling follow up to Mark of the Cyclops, is a mix of Sherlock Holmes and ancient Greece from bestselling author Saviour Pirotta, with stunning illustrations from up-and-coming illustrator Freya Hartas.

Scribe Nico and his friend Thrax are back for another adventure in ancient Greece. Their master has brought them to Delphi, to seek guidance from the great oracle. But between the majestic hills of the sacred city, a sinister plot has been formed, and a farmer's daughter has gone missing. Can Nico and Thrax solve the clues, save the girl and learn the secret of the oracle?

Free of Charge Jo will personally post her book to the winning bidder https: Late one night a man walks into the luxurious home of disgraced banker Harry McNamara and his wife Julie. The man launches an unspeakably brutal attack on Harry as a horror-struck Julie watches, frozen by fear.

Just an hour later the attacker, JP Carney, has handed himself in to the police. He confesses to beating Harry to death, but JP claims that the assault was not premeditated and that he didn't know the identity of his victim. With a man as notorious as Harry McNamara, the detectives cannot help wondering, was this really a random act of violence or is it linked to one of Harry's many sins: This gripping psychological thriller will have you questioning, who - of Harry, Julie and JP - is really the guilty one?

And is Carney's surrender driven by a guilty conscience or is his confession a calculated move in a deadly game? Jo Spain is the author of the Inspector Tom Reynolds series. The Confession is her first standalone thriller. Jo is a graduate of Trinity College Dublin, a former political advisor in the Irish parliament and former vice-chair of InterTrade Ireland business body.

Jo lives in Dublin with her husband and four young children. In her spare time she has four children, there is no spare time really she likes to read. Jo thinks up her plots on long runs in the woods. Her husband sleeps with one eye open and all her friends have looked at her strangely since she won her publishing deal. Kindly donated by Jo Spain. Clarissa is almost seventeen when the spell of her childhood is broken.

It is , the beginning of a blissful, golden summer - and the end of an era. Deyning Park is in its heyday, the large country house filled with the laughter and excitement of privileged youth preparing for a weekend party. When Clarissa meets Tom Cuthbert, home from university and staying with his mother, the housekeeper, she is dazzled. Tom is handsome and enigmatic; he is also an outsider. Ambitious, clever, his sights set on a career in law, Tom is an acute observer, and a man who knows what he wants. For now, that is Clarissa.

Judith was born in Northumberland, England, and is the author of four novels: As well as being an author, Judith is an occasional painter, nature lover and reader. She lives in Hampshire, England. Kindly donated by Judith Kingdom. The Fat Loss Plan: Joe Wicks The Body Coach. The Fat-Loss Plan shows how to adopt a lean lifestyle in a way that suits you. Inside the book are 60 reduced-carbohydrate and 40 post-workout recipes — all incredibly tasty and easy to make in 15 minutes flat. Thanks to sample weekly plans and ingredients lists, Joe makes it simple for you prep like a boss and eat well every day of the week.

Joe has more than 4 million followers on social media where fans share their personal journeys towards a leaner, fitter lifestyle. Become a Lean in 15 winner and start your journey to better health and fitness with The Body Coach. Joe Wicks is a British fitness coach, TV presenter and author, specialising in cooking and fitness books.

His first published cookbook Lean in Kindly donated by Joe Wicks. Cara will personally post book to winning bidder https: A woman and child are found locked in a basement room, barely alive. No one knows who they are - the woman can't speak, and there are no missing persons reports that match their profile. The elderly man who owns the house claims he has never seen them before. The inhabitants of the quiet Oxford street are in shock. How could this happen right under their noses? But DI Adam Fawley knows that nothing is impossible. Cara Hunter is an established English author of fiction.

She currently resides in Oxford. Hunter admits that she lives on a street that is very similar to those that she writes about in her novels. She specializes in novels in the crime fiction genre and her first series features a detective inspector that lives and solves cases in an area much like her own. Kindly donated by Cara Hunter. Joan of Arc A History: Helen is happy to personalise the book alongside her signature.

Free of Charge Helen will personally post her book to the winning bidder: Acclaimed historian Helen Castor brings us afresh a gripping life of Joan of Arc. Instead of the icon, she gives us a living, breathing young woman; a roaring girl fighting the English, and taking sides in a bloody civil war that was tearing fifteenth century France apart. Here is a portrait of a year-old peasant who hears voices from God; a teenager transformed into a warrior leading an army to victory, in an age that believed women should not fight.

And it is also the story behind the myth we all know, a myth which began to take hold at her trial: Joan and her world are brought vividly to life in this refreshing new take on the medieval world. Helen Castor brings us to the heart of the action, to a woman and a country in turmoil, a world where no-one - not Joan herself, nor the people around her, princes, bishops, soldiers or peasants - knew what would happen next.

She directed studies in History at Sidney for eight years before deciding to concentrate on writing history for a wider readership. Kindly donated by Helen Castor. Free of Charge Tom will personally post book to winning bidder. Author and historian Tom Holland returns to his roots in Roman history and the audience he cultivated with Rubicon—his masterful, witty, brilliantly researched popular history of the fall of the Roman republic—with Dynasty, a luridly fascinating history of the reign of the first five Roman emperors.

Dynasty continues Rubicon's story, opening where that book ended: This is the period of the first and perhaps greatest Roman Emperors and it's a colorful story of rule and ruination, running from the rise of Augustus through to the death of Nero. Holland's expansive history also has distinct shades of I Claudius, with five wonderfully vivid Emperors—Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero—featured, along with numerous fascinating secondary characters.

Intrigue, murder, naked ambition and treachery, greed, gluttony, lust, incest, pageantry, decadence—the tale of these five Caesars continues to cast a mesmerizing spell across the millennia. Tom Holland is the author of Rubicon: His third work of history, Millennium: The End of the World and the Forging of Christendom, was published in the autumn of Dynasty, about the first Caesars, has been published by Little, Brown Book Group and is out now in paperback.

He has written and presented a number of TV documentaries, on subjects ranging from religion to dinosaurs. He served two years as the Chair of the Society of Authors and was on the committee of the Classical Association. Kindly donated by Tom Holland. Free of Charge Helen will personally post book to winning bidder http: Seventeen-year-old Veerle is frustrated with life in suburban Brussels.

But a chance encounter with a hidden society, whose members illegally break into unoccupied buildings around the city, soon opens up a whole new world of excitement - and danger. When one of the society's founding members disappears, Veerle suspects foul play. But nothing can prepare her for the horror that is about to unfold when an old foe emerges from the shadows No one is safe, and The Hunter will strike again The Author: Helen Grant born in London is an author of novels for young adults, now based in Scotland.

Kindly donated by Helen Grant. The Vanishing of Katherina Linden: Reviled in her German village home where her only friends are a fellow outcast and an elderly storyteller, young Pia investigates the disappearances of three local girls whom she believes are tied to unsolved missing persons cases from decades earlier. Have the girls been spirited away by something supernatural-- or is Pia facing a world full of human evil? Helen's most recent novels are Silent Saturday , Demons of Ghent and Urban Legends , which form a trilogy of urbex-themed thrillers.

In Helen's new novel, Ghost, will be published by Fledgling Press.

Angie McCartney and Pete

Ghost is the first of Helen's books to be set in Scotland. Aaron will personally post book to winning bidder The Content: Each year on the first Monday of October, the Supreme Court reconvenes for another new term. But this year, the first Monday brings only terror and tragedy, as six bombs tear through their temple of law, killing people. Meanwhile, former First Lady Rosemarie Irving volunteers to assist the current President in nominating replacements for the four Justices lost in the tragedy. Is her motivation the lasting legacy of her husband, or something more nefarious? Aaron Cooley is a producer and development executive for famed film director Joel Schumacher.

Kindly donated by Aaron Cooley. February, , 'The Winter of Discontent'. Economic chaos has led to widespread strikes across Britain. As the rubbish on the streets begins to pile up, so does the murder count: There are no suspects and the manner of death is different in each case. The only link between the two victims is the location of the bodies, found within a short distance of each other near Rye Lane in Peckham.

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Three days later another murder occurs in the same area. Press headlines scream that a serial killer is loose on 'Murder Mile' and that police incompetence is hampering the investigation. Jane is under immense pressure to catch the killer before they strike again. Working long hours with little sleep, what she uncovers leaves her doubting her own mind. Lynda La Plante born Lynda Titchmarsh is a British author, screenwriter, and erstwhile actress her performances in Rentaghost and other programmes were under her stage name of Lynda Marchal , best known for writing the Prime Suspect television crime series.

Her first TV series as a scriptwriter was the six part robbery series Widows, in , in which the widows of four armed robbers carry out a heist planned by their deceased husbands. Kindly donated by Lynda La Plante. Eloise will personally post book to winning bidder http: She distracts herself looking for sea glass on the foggy beach. But is someone following her? Who is the figure that Snow keeps drawing, the girl in green?

Do the locals who tell them to leave the site just hate travellers, or is there something about the history of the beach that Lark needs to find out? A story that perfectly combines the chill of a ghost story with the warmth of a family tale about standing up for each other and being brave. Eloise Williams was born in Cardiff in , which is a real year from history. Having worked as a travelling actor for over a decade, Eloise won a bursary to study the MA in Creative Writing at Swansea University where she graduated with distinction.

Eloise lives in a tiny cottage by the sea in Pembrokeshire, west Wales, with her artist husband, Guy Manning, and her cairn terrier, Watson Jones. She collects sea glass, sagely pretends to know about the tides and accidentally sings Welsh songs out loud on the beach. Kindly donated by Eloise Williams. All Nansi knows is that her mother disappeared on the day she was fished out of Cardiff docks. She can't remember anything else. Now, with no other family to turn to, she works for Sid at the Empire Theatre, sometimes legally, sometimes thieving to order, trying to earn enough money to hire a detective to find her mother.

Everything changes when Constance and Violet join the theatre, both with their own dark secrets. Nansi is forced to be part of Violet's crooked psychic act. But it's when Constance recognises her, and realises who her mother must be, that Nansi's world is turned upside down forever.

She is soon on the run for her life and she will have to risk everything if she's going to find the truth. Waiting For Callback Set: All three bookd signed by Perdita Cargill. Free of Charge Perdita has wrapped each book in ribbon and will personally post her books to the winning bidder. The Content Casting Queen Series 1 When Elektra is discovered by an acting agent, she imagines Oscar glory can't be far away, but instead lurches from one cringe-worthy moment to the next! Just how many times can you be rejected for the part of 'Dead Girl Number Three' without losing hope?

And who knew that actors were actually supposed to be multi-lingual, play seven instruments and be trained in a variety of circus skills? Off-stage things aren't going well either - she's fallen out with her best friend, remains firmly in the friend-zone with her crush and her parents are driving her crazy. One way or another, Elektra's life is now spent waiting for the phone to ring - waiting for callback. Can an average girl-next-door like Elektra really make it in the world of luvvies and starlets?

Geek Girl meets Fame meets New Girl in this brilliantly funny new series! And while it's obviously great news that she's moved from the friend-zone with Archie to become his almost-girlfriend, it would be better if he hadn't immediately relocated to Transylvania to play a vampire hunter surrounded by 'maidens of peerless beauty'.

She's finished her first feature film even if her character was unexpectedly killed off half-way through filming , hosted the party of the year well, before her mum arrived and threw everyone out - how embarrassing! But with social media to navigate actinggoals instanightmare , GCSEs looming and a seemingly never-ending parade of failed casting calls, Elektra's road to acting stardom is proving to be as rocky as ever. Perdita Cargill spent years working as a commercial barrister before she finally turned to writing.

Bizarrely for a pessimistic Scot, she loves to write funny books. Now nineteen and at Oxford reading Classical Archaeology and Ancient History, she enjoys researching party scenes. Kindly donated by Perdita Cargill. Good Me Bad Me: Ali will personally post her book to the winning bidder. How far does the apple really fall from the tree? Milly's mother is a serial killer. Though Milly loves her mother, the only way to make her stop is to turn her in to the police. Milly is given a fresh start: But Milly has secrets, and life at her new home becomes complicated.

As her mother's trial looms, with Milly as the star witness, Milly starts to wonder how much of her is nature, how much of her is nurture, and whether she is doomed to turn out like her mother after all. Ali is now a full-time writer and lives in West London. Kindly donated by Ali Land. Ten In The Bed: Special 25 year edition signed paperback. Penny will personally post her book to the winning bidder. There were ten in the bed and the little one said Roll over, roll over!


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But who were the ten? And what happened to them all after they rolled out of bed? All is revealed in this bedtime tale featuring a small child and an assortment of soft toys. Kindly donated by Penny Dale. Amanda will personally post book to winning bidder The Content: Jesika is four and a half. She lives in a flat with her mother and baby brother and she knows a lot. She knows their flat is high up and the stairs are smelly. She knows she shouldn't draw on the peeling wallpaper or touch the broken window. And she knows she loves her mummy and baby brother Toby. Or that Paige, her new best friend, has a secret that will explode their world.

Mandy was born in a British military hospital in Germany and grew up in Edinburgh, reading books, playing music, writing stories and climbing hills. She studied music at Sheffield University, where she met her husband, and they climbed some more hills in the Peak District before setting off to travel around the world.

After learning to teach in Glasgow, she taught in a primary school in the Cambridgeshire fens not very hilly , where she rediscovered the joy of making up stories and started writing again. Kindly donated by Amanda Berriman. When Elsie married handsome young heir Rupert Bainbridge, she believed she was destined for a life of luxury. But with her husband dead just weeks after their marriage, her new servants resentful, and the local villagers actively hostile, Elsie has only her husband's awkward cousin for company.

Or so she thinks. Inside her new home lies a locked door, beyond which is a painted wooden figure--a silent companion--that bears a striking resemblance to Elsie herself. The residents of The Bridge are terrified of the figure, but Elsie tries to shrug this off as simple superstition--that is, until she notices the figure's eyes following her. A Victorian ghost story that evokes a most unsettling kind of fear, this is a tale that creeps its way through the consciousness in ways you least expect--much like the silent companions themselves. Laura Purcell is a former bookseller and lives in Colchester with her husband and pet guinea pigs.

Kindly donated by Laura Purcell.