Things I have found helpful to say:. Unless you live the life of a hermit you will be told from the day you can understand the language, what to do. That goes from being a child and how to behave…don't do this, don't do that. Then in your pre teens, what chores to do, when you can go out with your friends, and what time to be home for dinner. Then at school your teachers will tell you to do your homework, stop chewing gum in school, put your phone away, etc. You reach your working life your employer will tell you what to do and when to do it.
How many hours a week you'll work. What time to be at work, and when you can finish work, even tell you that you're fired if you don't do as you're told. You might decide to get married, no doubt your wife will have a few things to ask of you as well. Having said that, you cannot escape being told what to do from the time you are born, until the day you're put six feet underground.
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That's life as we know it. People judge and criticize you, no matter how hard you try to stop it. Everyone has a right to have an opinion on everything. If you feel you are doing it right and can be honest and true to yourself, you are good to go! Don't waste your time and energy stopping and justifying your actions to people who stop you. I think you shouldn't care about what some random people tell. People who are important to you, and for whom you are important are the ones you should care talking to or taking advices. In the end, it's these people who got your back, no matter who messed up you are.
So, try to form your opinion, make up your mind and justify it confidently. As I said before, people who care for you are definitely going to understand! Stay positive and sometimes, you need to just let go of somethings and some people. It is interesting that you see everyone interacting with you to be trying to tell you what to do. What you should do is assess if there is validity to their comments. And if there is, then act on them, and improve yourself accordingly.
If there is no validity, then smile, say "Thank you", and have the confidence in yourself to know you are fine just the way you are, doing what you are doing. It's most doubtful you can change their behavior, but you can change yours - you have control of that. And that change can be as little as accepting that other people have no power over you, unless you give it to them.
By saying TY, and then getting back to what you are doing, you let them know that you have heard them, but you are not going to entertain their input.
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Eventually, even the thickest will catch on, and back off. Give them feedback of risks that you see, and support your ideas with facts. If they are not willing to be questioned and support their ideas, then they are being less helpful in giving you the opportunity to learn, and they are acting more controlling. There is a time to be humble and listen. Often friends and family tell you what to do because they care. They do not want you to waste your time, efforts, get frustrated, and fail.
They want you to be successful. They want you to benefit from their experience. Sometimes explaining to people that there is more than one way to do things is helpful. You might need to explain that you understand they believe their way is better, but you want to try it on your own. At 40 years old, I have taken some bad advice.
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I have realized that I would rather fail on my own and take responsibility for my actions than fail because I was mislead. In this way, I also experience my own successes. I did it of my own accord. I ask a lot of questions. I am very headstrong. The more people tell me no and say it cannot be done, the harder I push for excellence. I sort of always look for a different and better way of doing things.
I am an out of the box thinker and a lateral thinker. Maybe you are too. Finding the reason when people start to tell you what to do. You can directly ask your friends and colleagues stop interfering your life. Thanks providing advice in the past. But now you are competent to control your own life, their duty is done.
Regarding your family members, this is tough. Regardless of you like or not, they seems have rights to be part of your life. You got to deeply tell them you are grow up, it is time to fly by yourself. You may be get hurts, feel tired, make mistakes, however it will make you grow. Truly listen to what they have to say. Do not hear what you think they are saying. Probably because they care. If you do not want their opinion, just tell them that you appreciate their concern, but that you are perfectly ably of dealing with things yourself.
If they actually command you, and say things like: If it puts you off people talking to you like that, you should just share it with them. No use beating around the bush. People they keep telling me what to eat, what to say, what to think. Even if I should go to the grocery. They start guessing what your problem is. The ideal situation is, if you don't talk to people about it, they should mind their own business and if you want suggestions, you talk to people about it. Guess who ends up losing in both these scenarios?
Yes, right, the people who were doing what was expected. What people say to you is their business or concern depending upon how close they are to you and not yours. This can be anything from actively avoiding that person or being in front of them physically but not mentally. Socrates eventually ended up drinking poison! Ok, I am spinning the Socrates story a bit but the facts are true. Just do not entertain them, I mean if you do not they may overtime get tired as they notice that their opinions do not matter to you. After a while you do not owe anybody any explanation however people will neg regardless you can then choose not to explain yourself to them.
Depends on who the person is and your age. Or speak up for self politely and nicely. Practice it in your head and be confident. Ask New Question Sign In. How can I get people to stop telling me what to do?
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Learn More at try. In short, walk with faith and every word of God and pray often to maintain your relationship with him. He our God has already laid everything out for us. He has equipped us for every work that we may accomplish in his name. He has already spoken. Reblogged this on the heartfelt adventurer. Thank you thank you thank you! Added confirmation to what God was already showing me. I do not believe God is like that at all, and this helped relieve my anxiety even more!
Reblogged this on peanutofgallifrey. It matters not as much what we choose to do but rather if are we are obedient wherever we are and in whatever we are doing. Most of the time in life, there is no clear right direction. Keep trusting and obeying. Kevin definitely leans on the more self-sufficient side of decision making, and I personally do as well. Something to keep in mind. Just Do Something — http: I was also going to recommend this book for the same reasons. There are lots of people in this world to choose from and as Christians we should focus on 1 does this person love Jesus?
I think with those 3 things, it can work with just about anyone. We can only get so much on our own. When we seek God in truth, I think God does bring people into our lives and give us the opportunity to be with those who can help us find out more. Excellent excellent post, man. Really thoughtful and insightful, as are your other posts. I look forward to reading more. Alright, this question is for the author. I ask solely to encourage critical examination. What evidence of any sort of plan do you see? Throughout my life I have gone through hardships that had the ability to try to paralyze me into not growing as a person.
Even when I was not actively seeking God I still wanted his will. Through each of these trials he guided me through and taught me a lot about who I am and who he wants me to be. His plan is not a road map that you can exactly plan your route. It is trusting him that he knows what he is doing, and spending time talking with him praying to hear what he has to say about your situation. I would be a very different person if it were not for his effect on my life.
Thanks for contributing your thoughts — they make a lot of sense! My perspective on this changed when I found 1 Thessalonians 5: When I was still a very devout Christian, I used to work at a fruit processing plant, a minimum wage summer job near my hometown. He made stupid jokes, smoked weed on his breaks, wore a snapback and a belt with a marijuana leaf buckle, thought he was cool and stylish, idolized singers like Lil Wayne and Snoop Dogg, etc. I worked with him and other people for the summer, and then went back to college.
About a year later I found out via facebook that a few weeks after we parted ways, he drowned in a creek near the town.
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This event was one of several bricks in the road that led me out of Christianity. How could anyone say that God had a destiny in mind for him? Any claims about destiny and divine plans strike me now as nothing more than wishful thinking. More than likely, it was his life decisions that ultimately led him to the place in that creek. When you looked at him….. He was obviously NOT functioning in his designed function at the time you knew him…or you would have seen something quite different. He can see the beginning and the end, all at the same time. I believe we should seek His will for our lives.
I believe if we ask Him and listen for the still small voice which is hard to hear in this world we live in these days He will guide us. We were given the Holy Spirit as a helper that functions in that very way. I pray you find your way back to the Father. I think you will find, if you study the Word, and what it ACTUALLY says, rather than the shallow, watered down message you have probably previously understood, you will find the answers to the questions you had.
Please prayerfully reach out again. Not that I expect to change your opinion, but: I remember the still small voice very well. Trouble with that voice is that it only tells you things that you already know and suspect. That was on of the realizations that hurt a lot, one of many. As for a watered-down message, well, over two and a half years I read through the Old Testament three times and the New Testament seven times. I was praying every day, seeking to commune with the Holy Spirit every day, communicating with pastors and the Christian community in that place frequently, journalling extensively through all of this.
I was a leader myself, I had so many people looking up to me and coming to me for council on getting closer to God. But when you devote yourself to something that much, and you try to put into it everything of yourself physically, spiritually, and intellectually, the realization that you were mistaken is earth-shattering. You can find it on Amazon. We live in a fallen, broken, painful world that is the result of sin. God allows us a certain amount of free will and we generally exercise it to do evil and run from him. We generally cause our own pain as well, and shake our fist at God, even though it is simply consequences of bad choices.
But random tragedy is harder to swallow, granted. We have to decide how to deal with it. God exists; we know that deep in our souls. When we get angry at him or try to make sense of painful situations like you described, sometimes our reaction is rejection or denial. I am sorry about your experience, but God did not cause it, nor is it evidence that there is no God. Creation is a more powerful proof of God, than the existence of evil being proof that there is no God. The real, loving relationship we can have with him through Jesus Christ is much more powerful than any pain. And pain is what we get in this world, no matter what we believe.
For believers, we have the amazing promise of an eternity with him, without the presence of evil or pain. That outweighs this short, troublesome life. I pray that you will revisit your relationship with God sometime after the pain and anger subside. We have a choice whether we will line up with what the word of God says or not. I am not making light of the situations that many like that young man had. What I am saying though is that if we try to do things that contradict and reject the safeguards that he has put in place, then we are playing a risky game. In your time of need call out to Jesus and expect and answer to be given to you.
The Bible says that God does not want anyone to be destroyed, but for everyone to turn to him 2 Peter 3: When we rejected that, he set out to make it right. But again, he does not force anyone to receive the forgiveness available through Jesus. And those who do come back into relationship with God make choices everyday to either extend the love they now know or to keep it to themselves- or even to do what misrepresents God. I see God working toward bringing us into wholeness at every turn— within that which is his part to play. If you are sincerely looking for truth, I wonder if you would be willing to do some soul searching regarding your role— you said you were a devout Christian.
Did you love this kid your comments call it into question?
Did you pray for him? Did you demonstrate love toward him and invite him into your community? Did you share the good news that Jesus gave his life for him and offers something better than what he was pursuing? You said you were bothered about the thought of people saying God had a plan for that kid. But this is all part of them becoming their own- and they can only turn to me in mature relationship if they have choice to do so or not. I can tell you I have no greater joy than when they choose to walk in the truth!
However, the most troublesome thing in this article is when you say: Yes, the Lord wants us to love God, love other people, and make disciples. BUT, do you not believe that the Lord has intricately planned out your life as well?! If you believe the Lord knitted you together and made you perfectly and beautifully, do you think He just stopped there? He does have a plan for your life, and we are to search for it! That plan includes all of the times when we are wondering what we are to be doing and when we make mistakes. He knows all that and plans for it. He has your best interest in mind, and if you believe that the Lord made you, you should also believe He has a unique plan for YOU!
The God I serve has created me intricately and has also designed a plan for my life. Jesus modeled the plan for us. The plan isnt to just read the bible and figure out the rest on our own.. And what did Jesus model to us? Seeking the Father, over and over again, so that the Father could unfold the plan. When I seek the Lord, He starts to show me more pieces of the plan before it happens. This is why God implores us to seek, seek, and more seek. Having said that, God does not always answer everything we ask.
Some of it we can ask for, but we may not receive the answer or like the answer we receive. For that, we continue forward with the best option we see fit. It is the basis of all they do.
It defines the churches mission! We just did a Love Does series and it was amazing! Everything I absolutely needed to hear. Reblogged this on alissaleonardmissions and commented: You missed a big point! A very big point!! Why teach people stuff, why promote your unhealthy lack of self to others until you can love yourself!!! The church is full of guilt throwing, hate mongering, self-loathing people! As humans, we do just fine in the self-centered, selfish department.
Thank God for his Word that defines who we actually are, and who he is. Guilt-throwing is from a person who is judgmental in a non-biblical fashion, usually a self-righteous person… not from a self-loathing person. Hate mongering is from a member of a church who is really not a born-again believer.
All this is just my observation, experience, and from a reasonable grip on Scripture. I hope it helps someone. That was an interesting read; but while we all know what God wants us to do… Love God above all, and love your neighbor.. And yes, Jeremiah Loving Him and Loving our neighbor are His will for us… but the plan refers to how we are able to achieve these. Yes, even the How should be guided by Him. Let us look at the life of David.
He consults God in almost everything..
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Consulting the Lord is a very intimate act… it is surrendering our frailties, our weakness to Him. It is telling Him that we are nothing without Him. So, yes, wait on Him … should I go to Atlanta, or to California? Should I attend this meeting or not? God DOES have a plan. And that plan WILL be carried out. As Jesus was entering the city, his disciples were cheering for his arrival. God has a plan.