While pointless ceremony is something I dislike, I do like a little bit of ritual. Ritual, in my opinion, when done right is brief, significant and beautiful.
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Ritual can involve a right of passage or a commemoration of some important facet of life, or it can be something simple and of only personal significance. Well, one thing I like is establishing little rituals for subs. Perhaps in the way dinner gets served.
Or perhaps one for entering the bedroom. So what sort of ritual am I talking about?
Dominance and submission
It reinforces that the point of her service is to please me, and that her service to me includes her submission as my submissive. Any sort of ritual like that can also help with the mental bonds that help a sub feel safe and connected to her Dominant. When something like that kind of ritual is created, it makes the service more personal and more intimate. The submissive is doing something for the Dominant that, usually, she does not do for anyone else.
And it, of course, adds to the structure of her service and gives the sub an opportunity of a specific moment to please her Dom and to receive praise, if she deserves it. Which brings me to another kind of ritual. Sometimes what can be fun for both the Dom and the sub is a ritual of wherein the sub gets some praise or reward. It would not be something done all the time, but it would be something that once it starts, the submissive knows she is about to receive some praise or some reward.
A Few Notes on the Use of Ritual within D/s Relationships
In my experience, subs delight in this, not because it means they get some attention, but rather because it means they have done something well enough to merit this special ritual. So what kind of ritual might this be? Well, it might involve using a special toy that is only brought out for this specific ritual. It might involve a special piece of bondage equipment. Or the ritual could be something more tame. The ritual should stem in someway from something that the submissive enjoys.
In a similar manner, a Dominant can use a ritual for a punishment to show his extreme displeasure in something the submissive has done. The ritual might involve a specific tool of punishment or a specific kind of bondage. It will impress on the sub that something she has done is not a minor infraction. She will know, when this ritual is brought out, that she has been particularly bad.
In which case, the ritual will build dread and shame in the submissive. She will remember the experience, and it will become a motivation for her to improve. Ritual can be a useful tool in controlling the submissive. But it can also be a means of marking and celebrating special moments. The sub might get, for example, an anniversary spanking wherein she gets one swat to the ass for every year she has spent with the Dominant. Or, if the Dom is into having his submissive wear a collar as a sign of her submission, perhaps when she achieves a breakthrough or some new level of submission, she gets a new collar.
All of these kinds of rituals help to draw the submissive and the Dominant closer together. These kinds of rituals become the little things that mark memories and help make the relationship unique and special.
Over the years he has practiced and studied High Protocol lifestyles from many different viewpoints, combining them with many other aspects of the overall BDSM lifestyle, allowing him to come up with these examples of how many define High Protocol within their lives. Bear has remained an active part of his local BDSM and High Protocol communities where he has always strived to share his knowledge and experience with the community where ever needed.
Denver-Metro, a founding member and part of the executive committee for the National Leather Association-Colorado, and was a founding member of a Denver based dominant support group. Jun 25, Luna Carruthers rated it liked it Shelves: Many of the misconceptions is that it's hard to do and that only the more serious power exchange relationships participate. KnyghtMare and I have some moderate protocol all the time since I love it and he likes control so anytime he gets opportunity to take control the better. So I wanted to do some more reading. The initial chapters of this book had me a bit perplexed.
The author makes it seem like this thing he speaks of is so secretive when there are MAsT Masters And slaves Together chapters all over the world. Here in the Midwest that doesn't seem to be the case so perhaps where the author is located the people interested in higher protocol relationships are less likely to be a part of the larger community. It's certainly not some secret society.
I appreciate that the author covers a lot of the psychology of the submissive during the protocol as well as the mental conditioning that happens.
The Ritual of Dominance & Submission: A Guide to High Protocol Dominance & Submission
So much of any BDSM book is the actions involved and rarely do we learn what impact this might have on the Dominant and submissive. Each of the steps to building a protocol level that works for your particular relationship has the psychology of it drawn out for you so you can see what impact it may have on your relationship before implementation. Now, a large part of this book is dedicated to providing examples and detailed descriptions of protocol that you could apply to your own relationship.
Keeping in mind that the focus is high protocol, the detail is great and anyone can downgrade the attention to detail or specifics to suit their own style if they choose. Training programs are covered, but I personally would like to remind people that formalized training doesn't have to happen in the same way as this book, again it focuses on higher protocol relationships.
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Adding any level of protocol to your relationship can be useful and learning it will require a time period of practice - essentially the training program dumbed down for the casual or moderate level user. One thing that was quite annoying throughout was the number of grammatical and editing errors within the book. Some of the book could have been trimmed down just by removing all of the fluff and flowery language used and it would be been a more succinct and direct book.
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If you are a grammar nerd you might want to turn that off for the duration of reading. The book was created and published by the author, without the aid of an editor and while it shows, quite blatantly in some places, the content is worth reading. I'm not giving this a higher rating because it was hard to get into the book since the author starts out with making high protocol sound impossible to achieve and that groups are secret societies that no one will ever find, but also because there's no clear details on how to get started for the beginner in high protocol.
It is written with the assumption that you already know about protocol and just need to up the level to a more formal degree and while that's great for those few people that are there; the majority of people interested in protocol don't have any amount of prior experience and simply have an aching desire to add it to their own dynamic. The book could have done a bit more to help that section of the BDSM public out. If you are interested in protocol and want to read about high protocol and what it might look like in your dynamic I suggest you give this book a try.
The attention to detail will have you learning about positions, verbal and hand cues, formal dining parties and so much more. Nov 20, CandiAnne rated it it was ok Recommends it for: Recommended to CandiAnne by: Painful to attempt to read, if you are a grammar Nazi move on, don't even open this.
A Few Notes on the Use of Ritual within D/s Relationships | Liberate One
No idea who edited it and there is no publisher listed or I'd be giving them a piece of my mind. We aren't some secret society. N Painful to attempt to read, if you are a grammar Nazi move on, don't even open this. I've been at this nearly 30 years and I found this book to be silly and laughable. Is there some good and relevant information in it? Yes, there is but it's hard to get through with all the over writing, poor grammar, horrid spacing, misspellings and all the rest. The author puts down the Gorean ways, yet many of the positions he uses are in fact Gorean.
If you want a decent read on this topic I suggest a host of other books, for instance those written by Dr. Robert Rubel are awesome, sometimes dry, but still highly informative and very well edited. Thomas Kruise rated it it was amazing May 01, Robin rated it it was amazing Oct 02, Darcknight rated it it was ok Mar 28, Jessica Roche rated it it was amazing Aug 08, Thomas rated it it was amazing Jan 14, Daniel Brown rated it it was amazing Jun 25, Carenza III rated it really liked it Aug 04, David Moore rated it really liked it Jun 05, Loyola rated it really liked it Jan 04, Jean Batt rated it it was amazing Dec 17, Pamela Hansen rated it it was amazing May 25, Carolyn Binns rated it really liked it Sep 02, Konijntje marked it as to-read Mar 22, Samantha marked it as to-read Jul 19, Luke Noir added it Jul 21,