First make sure the information's correct. He took out accident insurance. That's the way it is. You must do it this way. And so they decided to act immediately. I don't say it without reason. I'll let you know as soon as I get there. Your attendance isn't necessary. I took care of him during his illness. Were you present at the meeting? The wash'll have to be put in the sun to dry. They were taking a sun bath on the beach. He put his head out of the window.
It's forbidden to lean out of windows. He amazes everybody by his cleverness. I'm amazed that you say that. He assumed full responsibility. What's the subject of that play? Don't meddle in my affairs. Your screams frightened me. She's frightened by loud noises. If we go this way we'll catch up with 'em. He cut him short by saying no. Lace your shoes up tight. When I heard that I put two and two together. I've danced so much that I'm dizzy. The announcer called for attention. I'll never forget your kindness.
She likes to attract attention. I reprimanded him for his insolence. The clerk waited on them immediately. Please pay attention to what I'm saying. He takes very good care of his guests.
I don't know what to depend on. There was an attempt on the life of the president. Su atento seguro servidor. He guessed the amount of money I had in my pocket. He didn't succeed in explaining what he wanted. I can't find the keyhole. I've never seen such a scatterbrain. What an attractive woman! She's very pretty but she has no appeal. She's back there with some friends. Don't back up; there's a tree behind you. She stayed behind with some friends.
This'll delay my trip a long time. I have to set my watch back; it's very fast. My watch loses ten minutes a day. I think we're getting behind in this work. The backwardness of that country's well known. The bullet pierced his arm. I've crossed the Atlantic several times. A truck stopped crosswise in the middle of the road. He doesn't dare to tell me. What a horrible thing! An automobile ran over him. If you want to do a good job, don't rush through it.
We can't tolerate such an outrage. Three pedestrians were victims of an accident. So much noise rattles me. He was stunned and didn't know what to answer. We can still get there on time. Even now it wouldn't be possible. He hasn't come yet. Even if he doesn't come we'll have to begin. Though I wasn't born in the country, I know it very well. He left the class because he was feeling sick. Is there enough room in the car for everybody? Which is cheaper, the bus or the street car?
He couldn't maintain his authority. They reported it to the authorities. The car moved very slowly. We're not making any progress in our work. The floods ruined the crops. He agreed to what they said. He's a very promising young man. He gets ahead of everybody in his work. He shamed his whole family by his conduct. After he said it, he was ashamed. The mechanic repaired the damage without delay. The shipment was damaged by the rain.
We have to notify the police. I'm warning you for the last time. They revived the fire by putting on more wood. Why don't you keep your eyes open? Step lively; it's very late. Wake up; you're half asleep. I want to help him carry the packages. Don't smoke on an empty stomach.
Let's take that chance. He likes games of chance. He chose them at random. This would embarrass anyone. When I told him that he was very much embarrassed. The enemy suffered many casualties. There was a general fall in prices. He dropped out of the club. For lack of payment they dropped him from the subscription list. Let's go down the stairs slowly. Bring the suitcase down from my room. Will you help me take the suitcases down from the rack? They saw us as they were getting off the train. He bent over to tie his shoe.
I want a low table. He's shorter than his brother. They were speaking in a low voice. Let's put the basses on the left. The temperature's fallen below zero. The superintendent lives on the ground floor. What's my bank balance this month? Don't rock in the chair; it's going to break. Three shots were heard. He had three bullet wounds in his chest. They're giving tickets free.
He tried to get her on the phone without success. Can I cash my check in this bank? All the benches are taken. The skirt had three red bands. He wore a red sash across his chest. That band gives me a headache. A gang of thieves works these parts. Please bathe the children. I'm going to take a bath. It's very pretty and besides it's cheap. They sell things very cheap in this store. There's a sale today in that department store.
He eats too much. What he did was an outrage. I like her an awful lot. How many times have you made the trip by boat? We need an iron bar. The spectators cheered the players on. He dicho que te calles. I told you to shut up! Do you have enough money? She's a rather pretty woman. There wasn't enough food for all. The suit's made of very rough material. Please beat the eggs. He defeated his enemy. They haven't unpacked their trunks yet. He doesn't appreciate favors. The profits were very high.
He doesn't know the difference between good and evil. He spoke very well. The beer's very cold. He has a great deal of property. He's rich rather than poor. All right or Correct. Pay close attention to what I tell you. Have you bought the tickets? Give me the money in fives and tens. You have to put a screen in front of the door. I wish I'd bought a white dress!
There are white people, Indians, and Negroes in this city. They hit the target. Leave this sheet blank. They hit the mark three times. The soldiers had target practice in the morning. He didn't open his mouth all afternoon. The subway entrance is on the corner. The child's sleeping on his stomach. He was lying on his back on the beach.
What an embarrassing situation that was! What sultry weather we're having! What a shameful action! Blow the horn so that car'll let us pass. I'm out of breath. Give me that iron ball. We bought some tennis balls. There was a crowd of people at the entrance of the theater. She carried a silk purse. I need a paper bag to put it in.
I don't know what the quotations are on the exchange today. They used a pump to take out the water. The bomb destroyed three houses. It struck like a bombshell! Where is there a filling station? Se puso una bomba. He got drunk [ Am ]. Three bulbs have burned out. Thank you for your kindness.
Please wait a moment. He was lying on the bed.
- CARTAS PARA ABRIL SERIE ABRIL 2: Books - theranchhands.com.
- In the Line of Fire: How to Handle Tough Questions -- When It Counts.
- Give Terrorism A Chance;
Be careful, don't throw away those papers. Look how that ball bounces. I want a can of tomatoes. When he heard it he jumped. The theater was jammed. Be careful, it's a fierce bull. He got very mad. I don't like this paper; it's too shiny. He gave her a diamond bracelet. Let's drink to your health! I said it as a joke. He takes everything lightly.
"el pasado abril" in English
He's abrupt in his way of speaking. That's a very good car. It was a good opportunity. I'm not feeling very well. Bueno, nos veremos a las cinco. All right, we'll meet at five. He gave it to me willingly. They made a terrible racket. He went out with a bundle of clothes in his hand. He has a swelling on his head. As soon as he saw what he had to do, he ducked out.
They were making fun of him. Put these letters in the mail box. He's a perfect gentleman. Here's your bill, sir. She wears her hair loose. Nothing else will fit in the trunk. The piano won't go through that door. There's no doubt that he's English. That child has a very large head.
He was the leader of the movement. You have to use your brains in this work. He plunged into the water head first. Business is in a mess. He never loses his head. Ese proyecto no tiene pies ni cabeza. There's no rhyme or reason to that plan. From end to end. We can't leave any loose ends. They passed the Cape of Good Hope. He has corporal's stripes. They put an end to the conversation. I know the story from beginning to end. They carried out the plan right away. Take this junk out of here. Every day he says something different. Every one paid for his own meal.
He asks me for it every time he sees me. A heavy rain fell. He dropped to his knees. The suit's becoming to him. His birthday falls on Sunday. He was taken sick a few days ago. I didn't realize it until much later. She fell down the stairs. Be careful, don't drop the tray.
He was lame after the fall. The opposition of the House caused the fall of the government. He gave her a box. He put a lot of money in the savings bank. They keep their jewelry in the safe. Look and see how much the cash register rings up. We have to see how much cash we have on hand. I'm going to buy a pack of cigarettes. They've lost the key to the drawer. They received a box of books. She turned him down.
They flunked him in geometry. He got a cramp while he was swimming. The dagger penetrated to his heart. I got home drenched. He pulled his hat down to his eyes. Let's figure out the cost of the trip. Please heat the water. They warmed themselves in the sun. He's had a fever for the past few days. Is this good material? Be careful, the soup's very hot. Why are you so quiet? He kept quiet while we were talking. He kept the truth from us. You're talking too much. Se callaron de repente.
All of a sudden they stopped talking. What street do you live on?
"el pasado abril" English translation
I had no choice but to throw him out. When his business failed he was left penniless. We're in a blind alley. There was a calm after the storm. He takes his time when he works. These pills will ease the pain. He didn't calm down until much later. I don't like the heat. It's very warm today. Everything he's saying is slander. What size shoe do you wear? I'm going to chock the wheels so the car won't move. Please make my bed. He's been confined to bed for the past three months.
What kind of a camera do you have? They were talking together like old pals. The maid hasn't made up the room yet. Ask the waitress for the menu. I want to reserve a first-class stateroom. He hasn't changed a bit since I saw him. Can you change a ten-peso bill for me? Has there been any change in policy? Do you have any change? What's the rate of exchange on the dollar today?
I'll give you this book in exchange for the other one. He's very fond of walking. You have to move cautiously in this matter. Is the road all right to drive on? I don't know how to go about getting it. They started out the following day. He was in his shirt sleeves. The soldiers will soon return to camp. I didn't hear how many times the clock struck. We lived in the country for many years. She found her first gray hair. She has a lot of gray hair. We passed through the Panama Canal. The boat was approaching the English Channel.
They brought us a basket of fruit. There are tennis courts in this park. What's the latest song hit? Give me a light for my cigarette. They decided to exchange prisoners. This man's very tiresome. It's a very tiring job. She gets tired quickly. He's always harping on the same string. I want to learn that song.
The tenor sang very well tonight. I'll have to tell it to him straight from the shoulder. How much do I owe you? He's a singing teacher. I like folk songs. Stand the book on edge. A lot of sugar cane is grown in Cuba. He carried a cane. They have to fix the water pipe; it's clogged. He bought a double-barreled shotgun. Have you seen the Grand Canyon? He wears a Spanish cape. The door needs another coat of paint.
Poor people, they're on the downgrade! This tank has a capacity of thirty liters. He's a very capable business man. I'd like to talk to the foreman. It's a room large enough for a library. He's not capable of such a low trick. I've been told that he's a very competent person. The company has a capital of a million dollars. They took a trip to the capital. I've read only the first three chapters. Don't pay any attention to her whims.
She has a very pretty face. I don't understand the words on the face of the coin. He told him right to his face. He had to face the music. He's a man of very good character. Everything she does shows she has character. You have to put more coal in the stove. They were splitting their sides. He doesn't have enough money to travel.
This mule can't carry a heavier load. It's a cargo ship. They're taking the freight out of the car. They loaded the truck. The battery has to be charged. The cavalry charged the enemy.
I'm charging this amount to your bill. He was very affectionate with his parents. My best regards to your family. I usually eat meat once a day. This cold weather gives me goose flesh. Do you want beef or pork? I need a leather briefcase. The correspondence is kept in several files. I like horse races. They live on Third Avenue. He's preparing for a diplomatic career. He wrote it hurriedly. He sprinted to catch up to them. The highways in this country are excellent.
There was a mule cart on the road. We're going home by car. I'm going to mail this letter. He received a registered letter. Let's play cards a while. She was carrying a large leather bag under her arm. He took his wallet out of his pocket. Will that briefcase hold many books? What time does the mailman come? Will you be at home this afternoon? Are you married or single? This is the priest who married them. These colors don't match well. He'll be married next Sunday. He married a very young girl. Have you got something to crack these nuts? This orange has a thick rind.
Where do I throw these eggshells? You're getting to be an old crab. The soldiers were wearing steel helmets. The ship's hull is damaged. Though you rack your brains over it, you won't solve it. You very nearly guessed it. There have been several cases of infantile paralysis. I'm going to tell you about a strange incident. In such a case, notify his family. Anyway, we'll see each other tomorrow. He doesn't obey his parents. Don't pay any attention to what he tells you. He has brown hair.
He speaks a pure Spanish. He's a real Spaniard. What a coincidence meeting you here! Do you know him, by any chance? He's a professor at the National University. The two are not in the same category. His rank isn't high enough for that position. He's a man of importance. The family fortune has increased a great deal. The river carries a huge volume of water. He was one of the leaders of the revolution. What was the cause of his delay? It was one of the famous cases of his time.
She's caused me a lot of trouble. You have to be careful in business. There's a lot of big game in that forest. The reporters were hunting for news. He transferred his whole estate to his son. He wouldn't give in. That strong light blinds me. My boss has a grudge against me.
They celebrated his birthday with a big party. They all applauded his success. I'm certainly glad to see you. He was the most famous writer of his day. He's a very zealous worker. He's very jealous of his wife. Where did you eat last night? We had fish for supper last night. Mail has to go through censorship. This article has to go through the censor's office. You can't blame her for what she did. There were a hundred people in the hall.
People died by the hundreds. He's on sentry duty. We live in the center of the city. There was a dance at our club. This belt fits me too tightly. Confine yourself to the facts. Don't hug the inside of the curve. I have to brush my hat. These boards haven't been planed right. Where can I buy a brush? The station's near the hotel. It's about eleven o'clock. Is there a good restaurant somewhere near here? They live in a house close to ours. They fenced in the property with wire. I'm going to buy a box of matches.
The temperature's forty below. Please close the door. Add a few words before I seal the letter. There's a very good view from that hill.
Dictionary of spoken Spanish
I'm certain he's coming. Do you need a doctor's certificate? I'm going to register these letters. Let's drink a few glasses of beer. The noise hasn't stopped all day. Yesterday they fired seven employees. He always tells vulgar jokes. He makes fun of everybody. He's always in something underhanded. Stop joking; it's a serious matter. The roof's covered with sheet metal. You have to change the lock on the door.
She has beautiful rosy cheeks. I don't like botched jobs. He speaks broken Spanish. We played a joke on him by leaving him the bill. We were very disappointed in that girl. He lives in a very small room. She has three kids. From the window you can see the smokestacks of the factory. They climbed up on the roof to clean the chimney. They sat by the fireplace. I have a pebble in my shoe. The maid'll take it to your house.
Navigation menu
Are these cups porcelain? Give me a dozen oranges. I got it right by accident. Watch out for the sparks that are flying out of the fireplace. He's not at all stupid. When I told him that, he got furious. When he saw his father, he didn't even say a word. The two cars crashed. They often clashed over their political beliefs. I'm surprised to hear you say that. He turned on the faucet and a jet of water came out.
They built an asylum for the blind. He went into that business blindly. The sky was filled with airplanes. He appeared out of a clear sky. He makes five per cent on what he sells. Is it true he's coming tomorrow? Some people like it.
Certainly not, I don't agree with you. How many digits does that number have? The letter was written in code. Sin embargo, creo que es pertinente volver sobre estos asuntos con la seriedad que merecen, porque en cada parto maltratado y en cada congelamiento del cuerpo y de las emociones de la mujer ante el desprecio, estamos contribuyendo a que nazca y se desarrolle un nuevo guerrero feroz.
O un nuevo soldado abusado. Que a la embarazada que la escucha, esto no le interesa en absoluto. Y anestesiada si hay que pagar costos corporales o emocionales, justamente porque respecto a nuestro cuerpo y a nuestro territorio emocional, estamos escindidas. Fuera de nosotras mismas.
Todo esto es posible porque masivamente transitamos por las autopistas, y cuando miramos alrededor, constatamos que todos van por el mismo camino. Entonces concluimos que no existen alternativas. Cuando participemos en las escenas del inicio de la vida, con la fuerza arrasadora de nuestras pulsiones vitales, nuestro amor y nuestra libertad.
Quiero relatarles una experiencia personal, aunque ya he descrito brevemente mi segundo parto en mi libro La maternidad y el encuentro con la propia sombra. Yo era una joven exiliada argentina, con muchos ideales en mi haber. Mi hijo mayor es un hombre extraordinario.
Ella tuvo su parto. Fin de la historia. Estar en silencio y esperar. Por eso les acerco la idea de una vivencia similar: A las hembras humanas nos pasa exactamente lo mismo: Sin olor, no hay reconocimiento. Sin reconocimiento, no hay apego. En verdad, nos han sucedido cosas bastante peores, pero nadie las recuerda. Ni siquiera nuestra madre que nos estaba pariendo: Estas son las historias comunes sobre nuestros nacimientos. En todo caso, han sido nombradas desde el punto de vista de nuestra madre.
Sin ritmo, no hay vida. Los seres humanos estamos regidos por las pulsiones: Todos esos impulsos son vitales. Del olfato, por supuesto. Del gusto, mientras bebemos la leche materna. Todas las sensaciones placenteras o desagradables son sensoriales. Si desplegamos nuestras pulsiones instintivas dentro del confort y en permanente contacto con el cuerpo materno, simplemente nos desarrollamos en concordancia con nuestra especie.
Eso nos ha sido negado. Alimentarnos con leche de vaca maternizada ha sido eso: Nada que ver con la intensidad del encuentro. Incluso con ese nivel de silencio, las pulsiones no se aquietan. Reptando, gateando, trepando, luego caminando y corriendo. Los retamos si se mueven demasiado. Sigue sintiendo deseos de descubrir. Sigue sintiendo necesidad de moverse.
Casi todos los recuerdos genuinos que tenemos de nuestra infancia tienen que ver con percepciones sensoriales. Negarlas o rigidizarlas opera en contra de la totalidad de nuestro ser. Ya hemos dicho que cuando nacemos, nos es negado el cuerpo de nuestra madre, que es como perder el hilo del contacto con la materia. El cuerpo es pecaminoso. Una manera eficaz de lograrlo es elevando toda la libido a la mente. En todo caso, cuando abordamos nuestra infancia, es habitual encontrarnos con un panorama bastante desolador: Con sus facultades sensoriales intactas.
Los varones lo solucionan escindiendo, separando el cuerpo de las emociones: En cambio las mujeres nos mezclamos en emociones confusas —bajo la forma de abundante llanto, por ejemplo—, pero sacando el cuerpo del juego. Una cosa es tener sexo. Y otra cosa muy diferente es ser capaces de tener intimidad sexual con alguien. Para tolerar la intimidad, se requiere haberla vivido desde siempre como una experiencia gozosa.
Porque no lo sentimos propio. Simplemente porque nuestro cuerpo nunca fue propio, ni nuestras percepciones ni nuestras pulsaciones. Algo de lo que otros se ocupan. Esa que es tan sucia y desagradable. Ya sabemos que casi no hay partos institucionalizados que permitan que la sexualidad sea protagonista en la escena. La realidad emocional de nuestra infancia. La pobreza de nuestra vida sexual. La cabeza separada del cuerpo. Eso nunca es un impedimento. El trabajo no es depredador de la capacidad de intimar emocionalmente.
Y en segundo lugar, el trabajo que efectivamente cumplimos suele funcionar como un refugio perfecto y valorado socialmente, en el que las mujeres nos resguardamos. No estoy juzgando si alguien es buena o mala madre. La verdad es que queremos escapar. No vamos a gritar a los cuatro vientos: Nadie nos lo puede impedir, salvo nuestras corazas. Mucho menos el nuestro. En algunos casos ha sido nuestro padre u alguna otra persona muy importante que nos ha criado.
Casi no conservaba recuerdos de su infancia. Aunque seguimos preguntando por reacciones posibles, si alguien hablaba, si alguien gritaba, si ella jugaba con su hermano… era la nada misma. Le propusimos seguir indagando en el desarrollo de su vida. Llegados a este punto, fue sencillo mostrarle a Berta el reparto de roles: Y que ahora que estaba embarazada, ella le iba quitando importancia al asunto.
Era evidente que esa coraza se iba a deshacer y que ella iba a ser la primera sorprendida. Pasaron dos meses hasta que se produjo el siguiente encuentro. No nos interesaba juzgar a Berta ni a nadie. Durante los siguientes encuentros, seguimos escuchando historias que —por primera vez— Berta relacionaba con su estado de necesidad. Es un delito, claro. Es una posibilidad que tenemos los seres humanos. No se trata de deseo sexual. Los abusos no los cometemos las personas de mente atormentada. Y poco satisfactoria, para colmo. Queremos protegerlo y amarlo de alguna manera. El problema es que somos totalmente inmaduros.
Crecimos esperando obtener amor alguna vez. Y en esa espera, crecimos. Por supuesto que las consecuencias son nefastas. Miremos de frente la realidad. Claramente, apenas seamos capaces, nos convertiremos en abusadores de otros. Otra alternativa es encontrar ciertas ventajas dentro del rol de abusados: Y esa es nuestra principal fortaleza: Sin nosotros, el abusador no puede vivir.
No estamos juzgando si estos mecanismos de abusador- abusado son algo bueno, malo, terrible, condenable, espantoso o espeluznante. El adulto siempre es responsable, ya sea hombre o mujer. Sin obtener nada a cambio. Eso se llama madurez. El mayor problema, cuando el abuso sexual es llevado a cabo por la madre, es que es la madre quien ama, quien protege, quien cuida, quien cobija y al mismo tiempo es la madre quien destruye, quien fractura, quien despedaza la estructura emocional. Es decir, establecer que lo que nos pasa, en verdad, no nos pasa. Puedo disponer lo que quiero. Porque la instrumentaremos de un modo aceptable para la psique.
Y para negar algo tan contundente, necesitamos tergiversar la realidad. Pasa lo mismo con las consecuencias del abuso sexual cometido por otros individuos que no sean la madre. Porque las personas podemos dividir el universo emocional entre buenos y malos. Como no la podemos ubicar en el bando de los buenos y amorosos, lo que hacemos es enloquecer.
Es decir, negar lo que estamos viviendo. No podemos retrotraerlo a su propia infancia, usando el lenguaje o los recuerdos conscientes, porque ya no contamos con un acceso confiable a la realidad. Y — hasta ahora— casi siempre lo hemos encontrado. Respecto a las diversas formas de locura, hay una importante diferencia cuando ese desequilibrio aparece hacia el final de nuestra vida, dentro del conjunto de las denominadas demencias seniles. Le preguntamos en primer lugar por sus padres.
La terapeuta le fue hablando suavemente: Tuvo un novio que se emborrachaba tanto como ella. Nuestro trabajo es similar al de un detective: Era una mujer sumamente inteligente. El embarazo y el parto fueron convencionalmente medicalizados y maltratados. Y eso le provocaba sufrimiento, con la salvedad de que estaba comenzando a comprenderse. Le preguntamos ingenuamente si ese era su deseo. Los siguientes encuentros estuvieron atravesados por el llanto. En las relaciones personales, ocurre lo mismo. Porque el otro no puede tomar decisiones respecto de nada. Las mentiras tienen patas cortas, pero podemos vivir inmersos en situaciones mentirosas durante generaciones.
Eso es algo que se aprende en las escenas cotidianas. Y aprendemos a vivir bajo estas reglas, que, por otra parte, nos ofrecen beneficios inmediatos. Pero en cada historia individual es posible hacer ese minucioso trabajo: Creo que ese es un trabajo impostergable: La madre trabajaba muchas horas, el padre trabajaba bastante menos. Si ella se quejaba, empezaba la golpiza.
Pero a su hermano nunca le pegaron. De eso estaba segura. Y haciendo un resumen de lo visto, la despedimos. El hermano era moreno y alto como el padre. No se me ocurre. Me aturde esta historia. Pero vivirlo desde adentro resultaba confuso y contradictorio. Pero algo empezaba a resquebrajarse. Y sobre la base de ese acuerdo, la despedimos. Retomamos el tema del padre-no padre. Le sugerimos que le dijera a la madre: Le insistimos en que nuestro trabajo estaba focalizado en el acceso a la verdad. Y que era hora de empezar a diferenciar el discurso de la madre del suyo, para animarse a transitar con coherencia la realidad.
Insistimos entonces con el tema del supuesto padre. Que no le interesaba. La dibujamos y la dispusimos sobre la mesa, para mirarla a cada rato. Tuvo un buen embarazo. El siguiente encuentro fue absolutamente revelador. Le dijimos que era raro que apenas los padres se divorciaron, tan abruptamente el padre hubiera dejado de verse con ella. Siento que no es mi padre, pero no quiero volver sobre el tema.
La terapeuta le propuso que lo conversara con su marido y que analizasen alguna forma de acceder a la verdad. Ya era hora de terminar con los secretos y las mentiras. La madre, llorando y balbuceando, le dijo que no estaba segura. Le pusimos un poco de humor al asunto. Y que mientras no estuviera lista para decirlo, que no la llamara ni la visitara. Todos los valores quedaron supeditados a esta modalidad. Le dio mucha pena por su propia infancia. Su mente funcionaba a toda velocidad: Ella necesitaba procesar estas experiencias y darse un tiempo para que se acomodaran en su interior.
Con tono muy amable, el padre —ahora claramente padre adoptante— estuvo dispuesto a responder a todas las preguntas de Tamara. La felicitamos a Tamara. En ese sentido, el regalo era saludable y reparador. Cosa que en parte ha sido cierta y estamos todos agradecidos. Esas huellas permanecen en el cuerpo. Casi, casi, como si el cuerpo fuera ajeno. Si practicamos el sexo como un acto alejado o desconectado, entonces es lo mismo tener sexo que tomar una gaseosa. Es una actividad desprovista de alma. Pero carece de sentido trascendental.
Es como comer un alimento sin alma solo para llenar la barriga unos instantes. Dura lo que dura el acto. Y eso, lamento decirlo, no es sexualidad. Al menos no es sexualidad sagrada. Porque el individuo que era unos instantes antes, sigue siendo exactamente el mismo. No fue atravesado por la experiencia.
Teens, Mysteries & Thrillers Audiobooks in Spanish | theranchhands.com
Ahora bien, podemos practicar sexo con una sola persona toda la vida, y tampoco entrar en el terreno milagroso de la sexualidad. No tiene que ver con el modo, ni el tiempo, ni las maneras, ni las personas elegidas. Es lo mismo que hablar sobre el amor: Respecto a la sexualidad tenemos un malentendido moderno: Es posible que la virginidad en las mujeres haya dejado de ser un atributo positivo. Pero esto no nos garantiza experiencias libres, es decir, experiencias conectadas y trascendentes respecto a la sexualidad.
Y eso puede haber sido positivo. Pero no nos garantiza una sexualidad conectada, que nos trascienda. Y si no nos trasciende, si no nos cambia, si no nos modifica interiormente, es falsa. Empezar por el principio. En la Argentina esto es habitual: La fueron a buscar a su cuarto, pero no la encontraron. No era buena alumna. La madre tampoco la ayudaba con la tarea. Le respondimos que en verdad estaba muy sola, ni la madre, ni el padre resultaron solidarios, ni cercanos, ni cuidadosos con ella.
Sus padres no la miraban. Eso se llamaba desamparo. Pasaban largas horas durante el verano mirando la tele y teniendo sexo. Hablamos un rato sobre lo imprescindible que le resultaba a Mercedes que estas palabras de la madre fueran verdad. Hicimos un resumen de lo que pudimos sacar en limpio, y la despedimos. Aparentemente, Mercedes estaba descubriendo una forma nueva de vincularse: Al poco tiempo decidieron casarse.
Preguntamos algo sobre la historia de Ricardo: De hecho, el sobrepeso era un problema constante en su vida. El parto, absolutamente convencional y previsible: Mercedes no recordaba gran cosa. Poniendo el cuerpo, pero no el alma. O poniendo el alma, pero no el cuerpo. Aparentemente era una actitud muy moderna.
Conversamos sobre todo esto con Mercedes: En este caso, le pusimos un poco de humor al asunto. Todas sus experiencias despersonalizadas y desesperadas de amor. La falta de registro respecto de los hombres que fueron sus partenaires. Era evidente que estaba necesitando decirle algo a la madre. En fin, la invitamos a hablar con su hija adolescente sobre sentimientos, temores o deseos. Ni siquiera con los prejuicios. Mercedes estuvo de acuerdo, aunque era la primera vez que lo pensaba de ese modo.
La sexualidad con Ricardo nunca anduvo muy bien, pero tampoco le importaba. Indagando en tu interior. De hecho, no siempre se produce. Se respiraba una intensidad abrumadora y emocionante. Claramente Mercedes estaba pudiendo observar a su hija y registrando sus antiguas demandas con mayor sutilidad. En esa familia circulaba una enorme ignorancia respecto al amor y a los acercamientos afectivos. Todos estos movimientos dejaron a Mercedes bastante inestable emocionalmente. Lo mismo con la rama paterna. Es decir, siempre es posible y necesario comprender totalidades para encajarlas en un orden con leyes propias.
Desde mi punto de vista, hay un mecanismo invisible pero devastador, que es el que padece y luego provoca un individuo que siempre tiene hambre de amor. Porque todos nosotros provenimos de lamentables infancias de carencias de todo tipo. Luego, alguna vez caen esos velos. Y nos parece muy injusto. Su vida depende de la madre. Y este es el mayor drama, a mi juicio. Este panorama suele ser similar tanto si se trata de hijos varones como de hijas mujeres.
Por otra parte, el abuso materno suele ser invisible. Este es un circuito perverso, pero totalmente invisible. Repito que una madre puede devorarse a hijas mujeres o hijos varones. En el caso de los hijos varones, si no hay alguna figura paterna suficientemente potente, las consecuencias del abuso materno suelen ser desastrosas. Es lo que conocen. Los hay sensibles, artistas, perceptivos, creativos, divertidos y de todos los colores.
Lo que cada individuo haga no nos compete. Que no es poco.