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Finding Meaning by Examining Life. Set up a giveaway. There's a problem loading this menu right now. Learn more about Amazon Prime. Get fast, free shipping with Amazon Prime. Get to Know Us. English Choose a language for shopping. Explore the Home Gift Guide. Amazon Music Stream millions of songs. Amazon Advertising Find, attract, and engage customers.
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Alexa Actionable Analytics for the Web. AmazonGlobal Ship Orders Internationally. Amazon Inspire Digital Educational Resources. Amazon Rapids Fun stories for kids on the go. Amazon Restaurants Food delivery from local restaurants. Target one hundred words exactly. It'll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective. As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my word philosophy, which I've hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you don't have to go that far. This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Sher's Wishcraft , sounds hokey at first.
Turns out, however, that it's a lot of fun to complete. Here's how it works. Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. There's no writing involved in this exercise — only thinking. Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun — especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do? After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like there's a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child?
What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid? As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you don't have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid:. When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land.
We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. Unfortunately, there weren't many. I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass.
I enjoyed playing games outside — tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. Yes, there's still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think that's one of the reasons I've come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. It's an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And that's probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip.
It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way. On a blank piece of paper, spend minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There aren't any right or wrong answers here, and there's only one rule: We'll explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals.
You'll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworth's Grit which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein. If you need help prioritizing your goals — it can be tough to sort through so many! Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 very interesting and an importance rating of 3 not that important , its score would be Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffett's exercise.
When I write about goals next week, I'll ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirsky's The How of Happiness. Here's another exercise that's common in self-help manuals. You're going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy you'd like to leave in this world. Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren.
If you're childless like me, you'll have to pretend. In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as you'd like them known to your descendants. One common way to approach this is to pretend you're writing your own obituary. Covey offers the following variation:. In your mind's eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music.
You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.
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As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended — children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person.
The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where you've been involved in service. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?
What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? This can be a powerful exercise. By thinking about how you'd like people to remember you in the future, after you're gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision. Here's another exercise from Barbara Sher's Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simon's Values Clarification. To begin, list twenty things you like to do.
You must come up with twenty. That's the only rule. Don't cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. List at least twenty. You can write down more, if you like. Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. The order is completely unimportant. Now, across the top of the page create columns.
Label them like this you might have to write tiny: How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Mind, body, or spiritual? Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. At home or in the world? Enjoyed a decade ago? Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests. To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself.
And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Here's a screenshot of my list. Because I'm a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper. Kind of sad and hilarious to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. There's also a good balance of free activities vs. But it's clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and — most of all — slow.
The only activity on my list that's truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle. This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren. On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits you'd like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day?
Do you want to drink less alcohol? When you've finished, reframe each item using the following format: For example, if you wrote down that you'd like to get in the habit of waking 10, steps every day, you might reframe that as: If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: I'm genuinely interested in what others have to say. Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card — one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing.
Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities you'd like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation.
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Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble. Imagine you grew up with all of the resources — financial, emotional, educational — you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did.
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You weren't limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be?
Be as extravagant and far-fetched as you'd like. What's the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say you'd be President. If you would have become a movie star, say you'd be a movie star. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires. He's still in high school when he formulates the following plan:. Result allowing for unforeseeable interruptions: And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared. Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, he's able to figure out ways to put this dream into action.
In Wishcraft , Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days — not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like. Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what it's like in the present tense and in detail — from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night.
I might say, for instance: I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8: As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning?