That was the case for this massage therapist and their client who kissed each other despite it being a huge ethical issue. We're pretty sure we know the answer to this one already, but wouldn't doing this as a licensed massage therapist be, you know, blatantly violating the code of ethics of the industry? Is there anything worse than that? Maybe we can think of one thing more shocking: So far, it seems the worst thing you can do as a massage therapist is cheat on your spouse with your customer.
This confession confirms what many people have already speculated about the massage therapy industry: But we mostly just see the people who are on the receiving end of happy endings in the picture; we rarely think about the massage therapists who give the happy endings. Looking at it from the perspective of an outsider, all we can think about is the immorality of the act. Even though there are massage therapists who give happy endings in exchange for some extra cash, there are those who provide them simply because they enjoy it.
And contrary to popular belief, female massage therapists are not the only ones who give happy endings to male customers! Apparently, male massage therapists also provide happy endings, and to their fellow men at that! We have yet to confirm, however, if male massage therapists provide happy endings to female customers as well. Can these confessions get any more scandalous and shocking? The guts of both the therapist and the customer are nothing short of outstanding, especially since they could have been caught if the door was unlocked and the other customer decided to go in.
The noises alone that these two men were making could have been enough to raise suspicions from the other customer. No matter where we are in the world, we always demand excellent customer service. Sometimes, employees or businesses fail us and leave us completely frustrated. But really, what does it take for an employee to provide excellent customer service to their customer? Being treated nicely by their customer?
Or the fact that as a person, they take pleasure in going out of their way to satisfy people? The most important types of experiences that are transferred are those carried from earliest infancy but are not remembered.
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Those early experiences are repressed forgotten and, later, become attached to the inappropriate figure of the therapist in the present. The therapist is inappropriate because he cannot gratify wishes coming from the past. In terms of psychoanalytic psychotherapy this is called transference neurosis.
In other words, the patient reenacts those experiences from early childhood in the therapeutic relationship. This "transference neurosis becomes the focal point of the therapy and the ultimate cure. Just for clarification, it is important to keep in mind that even though a person has a "forgotten memory" tha is remains stored in the brain where it can interfere with how that person functions. Transference occurs in all types of psychotherapy. Therapists who use cognitive behavioral therapy, brief psychotherapy, family therapy and group therapy, can become the target of transference feelings and wishes.
In the other types of therapy, the therapist does not focus on transference. In these cases, there is no need to intensity the therapeutic relationship because that is not the goal of the treatment. Instead, the focus is on the here and now in the life of the patient and not on the past. It is only in psychoanalysis or long term psychoanalytic therapy that the transference is discussed in detail and resolved before the patient is ready to leave treatment.
One of the major features of psychoanalytic therapy is that it is very intense. That intensity is fostered by the fact patient and therapist meet three or more times per week.
Here's An Inside Look At The Therapists Who F#ck Clients | theranchhands.com
When patient and therapist discuss the transference treatment is further intensified. The therapist must be fully aware of the power of the patients transference feelings and never allow him or herself to be seduced and act upon those feelings. For one thing, patient transference emotions are not realistic. Instead of acting, the therapist must provide a safe and secure environment in which relationship problems can be unraveled, and understood in order that this person can resume their lives in ways that are healthier and more fulfilling than previously.
In other types of psychotherapy it is hoped for that the relationship between therapist and patient is a positive one.
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This is called a "positive transference" and the positive nature of the relationship is what makes the work possible. It is difficult to accomplish cognitive behavioral therapy if the patient has angry feelings towards the therapist. Of course, this can happen but the work is then to look at the patient's thoughts, determine if there is evidence for those thoughts and then look at more realistic ways of thinking.
This far different from psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Even if the patient mentions some feelings about the therapist the focus remains on the present time in the life of this individual. Sometimes a person may develop a "negative transference" to the therapist, meaning that the therapist has lost the trust of his patient. The angry feelings are so intense that, in most circumstances, the patient leaves the treatment.
There are many reasons a patient might develop a negative transference towards the therapist. The very young and childlike feelings of the patient cause him to believe that the therapy charges should be much lower. After all, would mommy or daddy charge money for care?
Another reason might be that the therapist takes vacations and this is viewed as unfair. In this case, the wish of the patient might be to go on vacation with the therapist or to feel very abandoned when he leaves for vacation. Then, too, it is common for children to wish they could be the only child in the family.
In the context of therapy this can lead to resentment of and jealously towards the therapists other patients. There is something called an "idealizing transference" in which the patient holds the therapist in the highest regard possible. In fact, such a person may identify with and want to become like the therapist.
It was more for me than to see that he was disciplined because I know how compassionate I am! I also got with another therapist right away scary I know! You may wish to talk with an attorney before doing anything as laws vary from state to state. The subsequent treating therapist might be mandated to report the abuse you experienced.
So exploring your options first with an attorney so you know your rights might be something to consider if you thinking about or decide to see another therapist. None of us can say where to start for another person. I suspect you might be asking, where to start with ending it emotionally. It was this cascade of memories of how much he promised but failed to deliver that kept going through my mind and I realized it was game playing. He had me convinced he needed love and support because there was no one else out there for him. I knew I was being used at that point.
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So, I reported because I needed a very hard boundary for me to get out of the abuse. Like I said, it is a very individual decision. Simply not showing up for an appointment is what many survivors have done as well. HI, if you would like to discuss what you are going through I am in the process of attempting to leave ; my e-mail: Mine just surrendered his license. May never see the light of day as we live in a rape victim blaming society. My rape was minimal compared to what this therapist did to me. Contact the people who license him and start hitting back as hard as you can.
I am happy to hear he surrendered his license! I wish you well in your recovery Florence! Dr Brian Neil Talarico North Bay Has been convicted of child molestation, an possession of child pornography on his computer. Sexually molesting a young boy. He had prior convictions for child molestation in and After his parole in Works for north east mental health centre, despite his background, and numerous complaints against him of abuse, fraud, negligence, and imprisonment.
I Do want to write an email to tell him how I feel. He was grooming me in the beginning to be afraid to tell. I Know that I messed up as well. They work in the same practice. Or completely let it go? I have screen shots of our conversions now and screenshots of his ip address. Go to the rape recovery center if you have one, and go to the licensing board. You have been harmed. He is a predator. I think you can do both as quietly as you want. Hold him accountable and get help.
I know that my actions were wrong. Even after telling him about my childhood sexual abuse, he took part in this. I am in the process of filing a Civil claim and a licensing board complaint. If I am not heard and unsuccessful in litigation I feel this will completely destroy me… did you ever feel this fear?
Can I ask how did you get through this stage? I can say this was and is my fear. I am not even convinced my mental health professionals get the transference in this context. I often think that is because it is so close to their own practice of encouraging it but keeping boundaries. Plus, we are calling out often time their colleagues. The legal field and licensing boards in general do not understand the dynamic of abuse, narcissistic abuse, and sexual assault. Therapist sexual abuse combines all of these different aspects in one big mind blowing abuse!
Your fear is a very understandable fear. If you want you can stay in touch here with me. Not all of my litigation is finished yet either. I made it through that though it was very difficult. What I did that helped was journal through what had happened to me. Part of the exploitation we experienced was our need and reliance upon the abusive therapist to affirm for us our experiences.
It is normal within a therapy relationship to look for guidance from the therapist to our own thought and reality testing. An abusive therapist exploits this. After leaving that abusive relationship, we still have this orientation towards another affirming for us what we know to be real. It is part of the trauma bond they created. Whatever you can do to ground yourself in the validity of your own experience can help you move through the fear. If you are working with a therapist now, they might be able to explore how you might ground yourself in your own experience.
Lastly, talk to your attorney in the civil case. Usually they will be thinking of getting an expert witness to explain things like trauma bonding, transference, and the dynamics of abuse to a jury. Perhaps knowing a bit of what the strategy is by your attorney may help as well.
And remember there are so many here that have experienced what you have and can affirm many of the same experiences you are having. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me, only you and others that have been emotionally and sexually abused by a therapist can understand the overwelming fear, guilt and confusion that we feel when we finally get the courage to take action. My mind tends to go into overdrive and think of the worst case scenarios. I hope that your civil case is successful. Thank you for your advice, I will try that approach next time when I begin to doubt my memories.
It is still so devastating. My new psychologist has been a life saver and I know if this will go to court he will be my expert witness and explain transference to the jury. I hope you keep in touch, I will too and let you know of the progress of the claim and licensing board. I was abused and I am lost. There is the part of waking up to know he was using me and being in the middle of a storm when you come to your senses. You start out in a bad place, promises and lies about how he will help and someone is paying you a lot of attention. A big chunk of life is gone and now I am just wisely supposed to move on.
I gave up everything to support his supposed yoga school that i was not allowed to attend as i would get in the way of his girlfriend or girlfriends. Young women love that, i found out, a man degrading other men and women, makes them appear powerful. My profound service to god was polluted by this sick mans penis fluctuations and his sociopathy. I have been trying to recover for so long. THis guy is still teaching in that yoga school, i am not aware of any disciplinary measures that were taken against him, even many women who were abused by him profoundly justify in their heads the agony they went through and some time passes and they want to have sex with him again.
One woman was left waiting for him in a foreign country for 5 months, all the time he was telling her he was coming, and just didnt show up, cause he met someone else he liked better for that time, never mind the woman waiting for 5 months and the impact on her job life finances psychology. It is rape, its rape by coersion.
I never wanted the thing he produced.
Falling In Love With The Therapist: Erotic Transference And Psychotherapy
He totally lied to me to start the relationship and then said those agreements never happened. Even one more layer of torture was his so called girlfriend, i guess she spent more time with him than the others?? Devoted to a spiritual path through a man who was perpetuatlly absent and lying to me in order to have sex with women, making me do tasks to basically make it possible for him to have sex with more women, while allowing the full force of jealousy of his closest helpers male and female all being lied to and betrayed for his sexual excapades land on me, to divert attention from his latest catch… wow… which i lived with for four years because i felt one day he would actually turn up and teach me about tantra and how to be aware….
Thus making more pussy for him. Also he has a genuine spiritual attainment, which is impressive and unusual, but he will never share that to teach or assist, due to his sickness. Lady B, Thank you so much for sharing your story. A few very well known and respected spiritual teachers who were supposedly celibate were actually having sex with their students. And likely feeling entitled to do so. And because so many students look up to their teacher and hold him in such high regard, it is hard to say anything against the teacher and be believed. Everyone needs to believe the story, because if you doubt the story then how can you believe the teachings?
This is spiritual abuse. The narcissist uses your spirituality and desire to be closer to God against you. There are journalists around who write about such things. Something to look into. This is the first story I read I recognize that I need to tell you. For all woman here I share your pain and a wish you so much love on recovery. I was never spiritual. But without believing in those things… He did something to me. I went true 3 years almost dying.
I went for help to someone who had a therapy for spiritual things. He abused me and after 6 months I discovered that he knew the social worker. All from a ocult sect in India. Hi Kristi, I am very sorry to hear about your ordeal. You seem so strong and competent. It is hard to image now that you even could be taken advantage of. I had a similar experience that lasted about two years. This was two years ago. I was aware of the ethical dilemma my therapist was in before we became intimate, but still, like you, I was grateful to have him in my life that way.
So I decide not to pursue legal action. This was over two years ago now, and now I wonder if I should have reported him. I have mixed feelings about it. Do you know if your therapist became involved with other patients after you reported him? Is there any way I can keep in touch with my therapists activity now that I am no longer seeing him? From what I now understand, many or most of these therapists who violate boundaries are repeat offenders.
If you can get away with it once, why not do it again? They are getting a need fulfilled. I refused to believe this about Dr. And he did continue to find ways of using and abusing people, regardless of whether or not he had a license. Some people report to gain back a sense of power. Some to protect others. Many feel guilty about reporting so I want to say this: You would discipline a child behaving badly, right?
So why not an adult? Reporting can help to prevent recurrence. You have to take care of yourself first. You can find out a lot via Google but be careful. I thank you all for this site and these responses. I had no idea the lengths of manipulation these perpetrators are capable of. I feel so naive, so gullible once again. This is the 4th time someone I trusted in the health profession hooked me and took me.
The first time I manipulated into sex was a babysitting job when I was just The husband was a psychiatrist who used the poor me trick and that my parents were too controlling and not trusting etc etc etc. The next two were inappropriate comments or a fondle that I simply ran from before anything could happen, but the scar from the try was horrible too.
This therapist works for my company. The part you all wrote about the scheduled calls and the grooming and then not calling and leaving you alone with your thoughts. Oh, now when I reflect on the last 6 months I can see the patterns you all spoke of.
I really wonder if he is a multiple. I have come to recognize 4 distinctive voices he has. He told me of the horrific abuse he took as a little boy. I found myself justifying his seduction of me because some monster who beat him, turned him into a monster. I just could not believe that the person I first was lured in by could be so understanding, so calm, so wise, just a distinguished gentleman.
He was a much different man when he was leaving messages for me to send photos, and yet another man with anger when I had tears once and challenged his thousandth excuse as to why he could not meet up with me. I should have realized first off when I called in for work related stress and the sessions always turned to my husband another manipulative situation that I had stuffed on a shelf and how abusive his comments were.
Not sure what to do now. Hurting someone is not something I could ever do. To ruin his life, this late in his career would be devastating. My husband is a hurt child as well. I just feel like there are others who have been seduced and trusted our companies help they offer. I wonder how many would anonymously tell if they had a chance? Thanks for your comment and for telling us about your situation. After all, if a child behaved badly and someone got hurt, you would discipline the child, correct?
So why not an adult who has caused suffering? Should he not be responsible for his behavior? What he did is not your fault. The actions and choices were his. We were never supposed to be their caretakers or their servants! You have every right — legal, ethical, moral, etc. What would you do? You are worth him being held accountable. The way to heal from this type of abuse and manipulation and the way to become less vulnerable to it is to start valuing yourself and your experience and stop excusing things others do that hurt you.
You deserve to be treated well. And you deserve asking others to be accountable for their choices and actions. You are not responsible for what others do. How are these people going to learn how to behave properly if no one calls them on their actions? You are not responsible for him. OK Kristi, I came up with next to nothing with my google search. What are your secret tricks? How did you get so much information? I hope to hear back with a few tips from the master. If are up to it, I would like to hear more about your life now.
What kind of work do you do? Can you say a little about your relationship life? Can you tell us more about the subsequent abuses by your Dr. Sorry, so many questions. BTW, my father is a psychiatrist any wonder I became involved with my therapist? You were wondering why the process took so long.
And of course you can look up licensing information, and that should show any complaints filed. That pretty much covers what I know. In my case, with Dr. T, he was doing a lot of self-promotion, etc. In terms of finding out about various misconduct, etc. That was not information I found doing Google searches. I very very rarely look into Dr.
In this case, every little thing you find can also trigger a trauma response and keep the history alive and present for you. So I advise anyone who wants to do any tracking to proceed with caution. Thanks for asking about me. I prefer to keep my boundaries pretty tight these days and not give out a lot of information, especially not on the web and especially given my history. However, I will say that my first relationship after the abuse was quite challenging. I got involved with someone who did push boundaries, and for that and various reasons I found myself getting triggered a lot.
Interestingly, I became very vocal in standing up for myself and in trying to set boundaries, so in that respect it was a good learning experience. And learning how best to deal with it and to grow is truly a lifelong practice. Some things get better, the reactiveness and triggering decrease, things get easier — IF you do your work and learn what you need to learn and take care of yourself. Learning to love and accept yourself, whatever happens, however you are, is the best healing practice you can do.
You know, I still love my guy. Not in a romantic way, but as crazy as this must sound, I am grateful for the time we had together. Did you or anyone else out there ask for another level of relationship from your guy? One more thing, did you use any advocacy groups? Did you have people who supported your crusade, helped you find the courage to do all this?
Hi Kristi, You and I share something in common in that we entered treatment with our guy in relatively good shape. We differ in a few ways, though. I see my guy as a fallible human who cared for me and we had a mutual attraction that got out of control. I think it takes two. In your case, I was impressed by how you really had zero culpability, how everything happened to you, and in your story, it was truly all his fault. Was your life in danger? Did he threaten your life?!
And what were the abuses you suffered? Nowadays, it seems that the definition of abuse gets stretched to include anything someone wants to call abuse. As you can see I am confused by all of this. What are your thoughts about this. I feel all twisted up by what I see here from you and others.
Hi, I totally understand what your saying and why you feel this way. In a therapeutic relationship the lines are blurred however. I had an emotional attachment to my therapist because I felt I needed him to help get me through my depression. He made me believe only he understood me and only he could help me if I fully opened myself to him and his methods.
The loss of trust and betrayal is huge. If he truly cared about me he would have stopped it before it destroyed everything. He did what he did for purely selfish reasons and when he realised he had been found out he abandoned me and blamed me and denied it all. I hope that ramble makes sense.
There is much more to the story but I hope this helps in some way. It sounds like the website content does not resonate with you. So you are free to move on and find something that does. Hi my name is Hadassah and I am a survivor of treatment and clergy abuse. I made a 6 min. My case is going to prosecutions and I hope that my lawyer will continue to help me with the civail suite. It has been hard but I am glad I got away. I pray that I can rebuild my life.
When I was discussing the emotion abuse among relatives or therapist-to client, I really wondered how abuse could happen, so my friend shared this page to me, and I read your story. I was really eager to share it on the Chinese website. Could I have your authorization to translate your story into Chinese and post in on my blog? Hi, Thanks for your comment. You are welcome to post the story with attribution to this website.
Feel free to be in touch if you have problems with the translation. You can use the Contact form — see the sidebar menu — to contact me directly. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of new posts by email. Currently you have JavaScript disabled.