Begin by creating clarity. They are helping me bring forward my best. His insights are making a remarkable difference in my business and personal relationships. I recommend him to my family and to my clients. Enhance the learning process Empower one for the future Eliminate past blockages and triggers This is truly an effortless, painless, and instant method for anyone to employ in improving the quality of their lives!

My career is on track, money is flowing in and I am excited and happy to be alive. Joseph has a way of taking what seems complicated and reframing it in an accessible and sensible way. I have found that I can take what Joseph has taught me, and the distinctions he has given me, and use them to live a more healthy and happy life. As you talk with them, consider how people in your organization can help the employee better connect their values and interests to their work.

Figure out how to make the employee feel like their work is meaningful. Is there someone with an entitlement mentality who has been on your team for more than 90 days? Every employee should understand the boundaries and expectations in their role. You should have an on-boarding plan in place for new employees that spells out exactly what your company standards are and how the employee should meet those standards every day.

You should also have a process in place for dealing with boundary violations.


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Each time a company standard is not met, the problem should be addressed swiftly and effectively, especially in the first 90 days. Your team will work more effectively and efficiently when everyone understands and appreciates your boundaries and expectations. One of the leadership disciplines he credited for helping achieve that success was every Sunday evening he would separate himself from the family to spend two hours in his study. Iacocca credited this weekly discipline as a major reason he was able to stay focused on what was most important each week, and ultimately led the way to achieve his mission: You also need a map to get you from Point A to Point B, which is where you are today to where you want to be.

The discipline of setting aside time to review your map and adjust the routes to your destinations is what I call Sanctuary time. Did I meet or exceed all the metrics for my performance this past week? Where do I need help, should research information, or make adjustments to stay on track?

What is the plan for the upcoming week?

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Define a simple W. I call this time Sanctuary because it is without interruptions. During Sanctuary, you do NOT open your email, instant messenger, or other communication apps. Place your cell phone face down to avoid texts. Do not answer the phone. Similar to Iacocca, your big accountability meeting or Sanctuary time is weekly.

The discipline of Sanctuary time is crucial to your success because little things make a difference. Consider our Point A to Point B metaphor: What happens if you are just one degree off-course on your map as you are racing ahead with your plans? Is it really that big of a deal? Iacocca is just one of many leaders who have proven the value of a focused, weekly accountability meeting to stay on track with the most important objectives. Sanctuary time is when you pull out your plan to confirm you are on track to your destination.

Being off track typically means you allowed yourself to be sidetracked into less important activities. This eats up your time, energy, and resources, which is deadly to your mission. Slow down, ask yourself the following questions, and really pause to consider the reality of last week:. Daily and weekly Sanctuary meetings for self-accountability are a catalyst for hyper-growth, personally and professionally. My father managed prizefighters. If you ever saw the original Rocky movie, those were the venues. Smoky halls, inconsistent lighting, where the air is heavy. These were not heavyweight championships, but strong men who needed the prize money and weren't afraid of going toe-to-toe with anyone.

I was a young girl at the time. I often joined my father at ringside. One night his fighter had a really tough match. It went back and forth, with each fighter looking like the victor only to have the gloved fists start flying again. The crowd was uneasy, noisy, and nervous about their bets. After a brief delay, the referee was given the decision on a small piece of paper and walked confidently back to center ring, motioning for the fighters to join him.

He then announced that my father's fighter had won.


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The crowd didn't like the decision. They thought my father's fighter had cheated. Some started chanting, others jeered, and a growing number of them yelled threats. The decision cost them money, and they felt cheated. It looked like they would riot, and rip the fighter apart along with her father, his manager. Then he did an amazing thing. He marched right down into the crowd from the ring, with the two of us meekly following. Everywhere people were shouting threats. It was really scary. As soon as my father reached the floor of the auditorium, a man blocked his way shouting he would hurt us.

My father fiercely held his ground and pulled back his right fist to punch the guy. The guy backed off, fading into the blur of the crowd. Again, another man threatened my father since he was in the lead. Quickly my father pulled back his fist again to punch the man, and he quickly faded into the crowd. Still verbally threatening us, but unwilling to take on my formidable father.

We worked our way through the crowd that way, with my father only pausing briefly when necessary to threaten someone out of our way. I love this woman's story because it features danger, courage, and practicality. It reminds us to solve problems one step at a time. Do you take on too much? Are you unable to complete all of your work? Perhaps you need to focus on one thing at a time. Often that's the most difficult task, having the discipline to tackle your work in a methodical manner. It's why time management and prioritizing work are critical skills we teach in Dave's Charm School.

One method of focusing your time is scheduling 15 minutes or more weekly of uninterrupted consideration. This time should occur at the beginning or end of your typical week, as Lee Iacocca did every Sunday night.

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Force yourself to define a simple plan for each upcoming week to accomplish something significant that leads to achieving your major objective. Remember, during Sanctuary time you do NOT open your email, instant messenger, or other communication apps. Silence and place your cell phone face down to avoid texts. Just concentrate on and realign yourself with what's most important. About Us About Us. Subscribe via rss or email: Now, in my work with Clients I find there are three critical, interdependent parts to successful service delivery: Plan Deliver Debrief Most service providers are reasonably effective at planning and delivering.

The Debrief Process A transformative debrief process discusses the result of the project, what went right, where improvements can be made, and how to change processes, communication, and other aspects of future projects.

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Debrief meetings are mandatory The time, place, and general agenda of the debrief is part of every project plan During the debrief, schedule additional separate meetings for any strength or weakness that requires a more comprehensive review Depending on the size of the project, the debrief should last a minimum of 10 minutes to a maximum of one hour. T one Everyone in the debrief needs to feel safe when speaking candidly.

The first step to creating this open environment is to have a system for how debriefs are done. Objective Limit the agenda and focus to the project completed. A nalyze Execution Get to the disease rather than dwell on the symptoms. Murphy recommends each Lesson Learned is listed: Objective of the mission Result of the mission Cause of the lesson symptom — good or bad Root cause of the lesson what truly caused the need for the Lesson Learned Single Point of Accountability SPA — the key thing needing change to improve Time — when to implement the change, and when its effectiveness will be measured T ransfer Knowledge Next, who needs this information, when, and how do you get it to them?

H igh Note First, cover the negatives and things needing improvement. Conclusion Consider implementing a better debrief process. Every year the effectiveness of your management team determines your results. There are nine more. I found that learning how to communicate with people through physical queues, good cop bad cop, delegation, accountability, and Sincere Gratitude gave me the most value. As a very introverted person, I found this course invaluable towards guiding me through the maze of questions involving social interaction, engaging people, and learning the ins and outs of management.

I highly recommend this course to everyone because I know that every person can find the value and be a 3Strand Leader. Permalink in Leadership , Performance Print Article. What would you do in the following situations? The six key areas of Systematic Power are how a leader: This participant asked for a system to make tough decisions. Always Defer to your Values People make decisions based on their values. Our values are defined in a three-step process: Practice Active Listening Most of the time the initial quantity and quality of information given and considered by us is incomplete, negatively affecting our ability to make the best decisions.

Great leaders ask great questions. Have some sort of Deadline It is too easy to let a problem linger, and never resolve the issue. Great leaders are timely with decisions. Great leaders fully engage with wise counsel. Great leaders are systematic in decision-making. Great leaders test decisions and leave room for improvement.

Great leaders stay engaged without micromanaging. Permalink in Leadership Print Article. Please note, when I say "employees", it includes every leader and owner. The 9 Attributes of Wisdom he encouraged you to look for are: Love Joy Peace Patience Kindness Goodness Faithfulness Gentleness Self-control Our hiring process should put everyone through a test drive, where we give them real work to complete to assess their timeliness, quality, and the way they work with others. For instance, one could argue the 9 Attributes of Narcissism encouraged by a lot of our media and educational institutions today is: Hate Low self-esteem Anger Impatience Selfishness Perversion Higher standards for others Bullying "If it feels good then do it" Fake news reinforces whatever someone wants to promote.

If you don't believe me, then just do an online search for "fake news. So… what do you do as a leader? This situation is complex, however, here are some ideas to consider as a starting point: Permalink in Hiring , Leadership Print Article. DeMarcus Cousins is a headliner, not a rookie. The Risk of Losing focus "Focus" is such an ambiguous term, yet it's the all-encompassing word for a championship mentality.

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Weigh the risks, not just the rewards. The Warriors are huge champions. They are today, or are close to becoming a dynasty. What are the risks of adding a headliner like DeMarcus Cousins? Cousins has been the premier big man. He still would be strong, but he may not fully recover from his Achilles injury. What if Cousins gets another debilitating injury? Could his attitude set him back? He has technical fouls and 14 ejections during his eight-year NBA career. What if Cousins offends another top Warriors player and they demand to be traded, or there is another significant cost directly linked to adding this headliner?

Jekyll now, but is there a Mr. Some of the rewards are also significant: Cousins could enable existing players to spend more time on their strengths. Cousins might make it more difficult for the competition to discern the Warriors next bold moves, play-by-play and quarter-by-quarter.

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You can afford the loss. The investment is worth it. Get your people involved in the decision and determine how much of their time will be invested as your organization gives the headliner an opportunity. You can afford a short-term test. If the headliner adds value then extend the test time.

If not, you have not lost much. Don't disrupt the bond your people have Most winning teams have a strong bond of respect and servanthood between players. The Warriors shine in this area, and their coach Steve Kerr is an inspiring role model. So how do you add a headliner to the mix when the current team is working so well? Conclusion Do you want to grow your business more rapidly? To summarize, he recommends: Know thyself first Look at the list of love languages above. Explain to others how you want to be appreciated Do not assume other people understand how you want to be appreciated or expect them to read your mind.

Communicate to others, as appropriate, how you prefer to be appreciated. Ask your people how they want to be appreciated We have a wonderful appreciation survey you can download here. Make someone your Gratitude Guru. Be a role model Do not let busyness crowd out time for Sincere Gratitude, the third strand of 3strands Leadership. Finally, do not appreciate people the way you want to be appreciated For instance, I know a leader who gives gifts and promises to be nice, but the recipients do not trust the person.

Would you communicate in Russian with someone who only speaks Spanish? Would you try to relate to an Opera snob by discussing punk rock or salsa music? Try a different approach and you will be more effective. Everybody has them, although a few of you may think you don't. I'm talking about employees who do less than their best.

Our focus today is the cost of these behaviors.

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Here is one way to calculate the cost of low productivity so your team members have a "wake-up" moment: You can add in several other costs: What does that mean? You are going to pay another person to do that work. Therefore the cost of low productivity is: That's just one person. Build Bridges Instead of Fighting Fires Are you too busy fighting fires and keeping-up with tasks every day to deal with employee productivity issues? Take a good, close look at your situation. Get away for at least an hour and think about your team. Do an ROI similar to my analysis above to calculate the costs related to low productivity.

It is the key to our humanity, unlocks our powers and is the vital ingredient for psychological healing and living a life of intention. At the same time, it can be difficult to reveal ourselves, step out from behind problems and begin the process of self discovery. It helps to have an objective, professional partner who can help you clarify your thinking, come to terms with painful issues, and create new internal and interpersonal psychological strengths, skills and tools.

We support you as you resolve problems and begin to move towards more satisfying life experiences. We listen, give feedback, identify opportunities for growth, provide tools to aid you and stay with you throughout your journey. We consider it a privilege to be invited into peoples' lives and treat each client with understanding and respect. We are inspired by their courage and by the wisdom embedded in their many paths. As therapists and coaches we offer a virtual lifetime of know-how and success in helping people like you harness strengths and hopes, heal, regain excitement and enact your best intentions for your life.

Our intention is to be a key source of encouragement, inspiration and powerful solutions for you.