His industrious rib, however, appears quite delighted with her handiwork, and in no humour to find the least fault with the loose habits of her husband. He certainly looks angry, as a man naturally will when his 'collar' is up. She, on the other hand, preserves her equanimity in spite of his unexpected frowns, knowing from experience that those who sow do not always reap; and she has reason to be gratified, for every beholder will agree in her firm opinion, that even that inimitable ninth of ninths--Stulz, never made such a coat!
In point of economy, we must allow some objections may be made to the extravagant waist, while the cuffs she has bestowed on him may probably be a fair return with interest of buffets formerly received. The tail in two parts is really as amusing as any 'tale' that ever emanated from a female hand. There is a moral melancholy about it that is inexpressibly interesting, like two lovers intended for each other, and that some untoward circumstance has separated; they are 'parted,' and yet are still 'attached,' and it is evident that one seems 'too long' for the other.
The 'goose' generally finishes the labours of the tailor. Now, some carping critics may be wicked enough to insinuate that this garb too was finished by a goose! The worst fate I can wish to such malignant scoffers is a complete dressing from this worthy dame; and if she does not make the wisest of them look ridiculous, then, and not till then, will I abjure my faith in her art of cutting! And proud ought that man to be of such a wife; for never was mortal 'suited' so before! Cool and unmoved he receives the sharp blows of the blustering wind--as if he were playing dummy to an experienced pugilist.
Although he would undoubtedly prefer the blast with the chill off, he is so warm an enthusiast, in the pursuit of his sport, that he looks with contempt upon the rude and vulgar sport of the elements. He really angles for love--and love alone--and limbs and body are literally transformed to a series of angles!
Bent and sharp as his own hook, he watches his smooth float in the rough, but finds, alas! Time and bait are both lost in the vain attempt: Probably, on the next occasion, he may be gratified with the sight of, at least, one gudgeon, should the surface of the river prove glassy smooth and mirror-like. We are sure his self-love will not be offended at the reflection! I'll row you--that I will.
There, sit down a-top of it, and let me put my arm round you. How the wind blows! I really feel all over"-- "And, by Gog, you'll be all over presently--don't lay your hand on my scull" "You villin, I never so much as touched your scull. You put me up. I tell you what it is, young 'ooman, if you vant to go on, you must sit still; if you keep moving, you'll stay where you are--that's all!
The boatman, blowing like a porpoise, soon strode across the upturned bark, and turning round, beheld the drenched "fare" clinging to the stern. A little fat man With rod, basket, and can, And tackle complete, Selected a seat On the branch of a wide-spreading tree, That stretch'd over a branch of the Lea: There he silently sat, Watching his float--like a tortoise-shell cat, That hath scented a mouse, In the nook of a room in a plentiful house. He hadn't sat long--when a crack At his back Made him turn round and pale-- And catch hold of his tail!
- Sketches by Seymour - Complete.
- Sketches by Seymour — Complete by Robert Seymour;
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But he cared not for that, For it happened to be a superb water proof, Which not being himself, The poor elf! Felt a world of alarm As the arm Most gracefully bow'd to the stream, As if a respect it would show it, Tho' so much below it!
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No presence of mind he dissembled, But as the branch shook so he trembled, And the case was no longer a riddle Or joke; For the branch snapp'd and broke; And altho' The angler cried "Its no go! The Invitation--the Outfit--and the sallying forth. I've bought powder and shot, and my cousin which is Shopman to my Uncle at the corner, have lent me a couple of guns that has been 'popp'd. Let me know by Jim if you can cut your stick as early as nine, as I mean to have a lift by the Highgate what starts from the Bank.
Mind, I won't take no refusal--so pitch it strong to the old 'un, and carry your resolution nem. The guns hasn't got them thingummy 'caps,' but that's no matter, for cousin says them cocks won't always fight: In reply to this elegant epistle, Mr. Richard Grubb was favoured with a line from Mr. Augustus Spriggs, expressive of his unbounded delight in having prevailed upon his governor to 'let him out;' and concluding with a promise of meeting the coach at Moorgate.
At the appointed hour, Mr. Richard Grubb, 'armed at all points,' mounted the stage--his hat cocked knowingly over his right eye--his gun half-cocked and slung over his shoulder, and a real penny Cuba in his mouth. Richard Grubb to his fellow--passenger, a stout gentleman between fifty and sixty years of age, with a choleric physiognomy and a fierce-looking pigtail.
The Sketches of Seymour (Illustrated), Part 1. by Robert Seymour - Full Text Free Book
Arrived at Highgate, the old gentleman, with a step-fatherly anxiety, bade them take care of the 'spring-guns' in their perambulations. The Death of a little Pig, which proves a great Bore! Richard, when they had entered an extensive meadow, "and--I say--vot are you about? Don't put the shot in afore the powder, you gaby! I'd have a shot at 'em," replied Mr. Grubb, "but they're too high for us, as the alderman said ven they brought him a couple o' partridges vot had been kept overlong!
The anxiety of the two sportsmen was immense. But ignorance of the locality led them into the midst of a village, and the stentorian shouts of the pig-bearer soon bringing a multitude at their heels, Mr. Richard Grubb was arrested in his flight. Seized fast by the collar, in the grasp of the butcher and constable of the place, all escape was vain.
Spriggs kept a respectful distance. Richard Grubb could see no prospect of sport in it, and therefore fearfully demanded the price of the sucking innocent, declaring his readiness to 'shell out. Stubbs, the owner, stepped forward, and valued it at eighteen shillings. Stubbs was obdurate, and declared that he would not 'bate a farden,' and seeing no remedy, Mr.
Richard Grubb was compelled to 'melt a sovereign,' complaining loudly of the difference between country-fed and town pork! Shouldering his gun, he joined his companion in arms, amid the jibes and jeers of the grinning rustics. Our next haim must be at birds on the ving!
No more forking out. Shooting a pig ain't no lark --that's poz! The Sportsmen trespass on an Enclosure--Grubb gets on a paling and runs a risk of being impaled. Richard, regarding with a longing look the tall trees and the thick underwood. I'll over it in a jiffy," replied the elastic Mr.
Spriggs there ain't no obelisk a sportsman can't overcome"--and no sooner had be uttered these encouraging words, than he made a spring, and came 'close-legged' upon the opposite bank; unfortunately, however, he lost his balance, and fell plump upon a huge stinging nettle, which would have been a treat to any donkey in the kingdom!
Spriggs, losing his equanimity with his equilibrium. Grubb, taking warning by his friend's slip, cautiously looked out for a narrower part of the ditch, and executed the saltatory transit with all the agility of a poodle. They soon penetrated the thicket, and a bird hopped so near them, that they could not avoid hitting it. The little rogue, however, only stuck his thumb against his snub nose--winked, and ran off.
Grubb was not long held in suspense; a volley of inelegant phrases saluted his ears, while the thong of a hunting-whip twisted playfully about his leg.
Finding the play unequal, he wisely gave up the game--by dropping his bird on one side, and himself on the other; at the same time reluctantly leaving a portion of his nether garment behind him. Grubb, "I'm almost dead. Spriggs, don't joke; it might ha' bin werry serious," said Mr. Grubb, with a most melancholy shake of the head: And hereupon the two friends resolving to make no further attempt at bush-ranging, made as precipitate a retreat as the tangled nature of the preserve permitted.
Vy, if ve go on at this rate we shall certainly be taken up and get a setting down in the twinkling of a bed-post! Richard--"or s'pose Spriggs you goes on von side of an 'edge and me on t'other--and ve'll get the game between us--and then--" "Thankye for me, Dick," interrupted Spriggs, "but that'll be a sort o' cross-fire that I sha'n't relish no how.
No--no--let's shoot beside von another--for if ve're beside ourselves ve may commit suicide. Grubb, "there's a covey on 'em. Up flew the birds, and with trembling hands they simultaneously touched the triggers. Grubb, "ve don't know for certain yet, vot ve hav'n't hit. Richard-resting on his gun and throwing one leg negligently over the other--"I do think they're plovers, or larks, or summat of that kind. An extraordinary Occurrence--a Publican taking Orders.
Tying the legs of the birds together with a piece of string, Spriggs proudly carried them along, dangling at his fingers' ends. After tramping for a long mile, the friends at length discovered, what they termed, an house of "hentertainment. The host, with a rotund, smiling face, his nose, like Bardolph's, blazing with fiery meteors, and a short, white apron, concealing his unmentionables, quickly answered the tintinabulary summons.
Richard was adjusting his starched collar at the window;--"Landlord! I must, say," said Grubb, stretching his weary legs under the mahogany, "I never did spend sich a pleasant day afore--never! It's ralely bin a hout and houter! I'm bless'd if she'll swallow it! Richard, very seriously, "for if that 'ere affair gets vind, ve shall be blown, and--" --In came the dinner. The display was admirable and very abundant, and the keen air, added to the unusual exercise of the morning, had given the young gentlemen a most voracious appetite.
The birds were particularly sweet, but afforded little more than a mouthful to each.
The Sketches of Seymour (Illustrated), Complete
The 'wedgetables,' however, with a due proportion of fine old Cheshire, and bread at discretion, filled up the gaps. It was only marvellous where two such slender striplings could find room to stow away such an alarming quantity.
- Sketches by Seymour - Complete by Robert Seymour.
- Sketches by Seymour — Complete by Robert Seymour;
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How calm and pleasant was the 'dozy feel' that followed upon mastication, as they opened their chests and, if there ever was a necessity for such an action, it was upon this occasion, and lolling back in their chairs, sipped the 'genuine malt and hops,' and picked their teeth! The talkative Spriggs became taciturn. His gallantry, however, did prompt him, upon the production of a 'fresh pot,' to say, "Vell, Grubbs, my boy, here's the gals! Works of Juliana Horatia Ewing. Robert Louis Stevenson's Collected Works.
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