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W hat I began to realise, by talking to other parents about the school gates, is that almost everyone has their fears and doubts. She realised that her school-gate dread was due, in part, to her own fear about being judged.

B ut over time she realised lots of parents had their own doubts and insecurities. I realised they were just as terrified of me as I was of them. B eing open-minded about the type of people who may become friends is really helpful, she says. One thing she does caution against is going into the playground with guns blazing, determined to be universally popular. W alker suggests setting up a WhatsApp group as a way to communicate with other parents, something that proved to be the turning point for me.

6 Social Snafus

One of the fellow mums started one and added me to it. A few other things also helped. I started going to an exercise class with a couple of mums. I also dipped my toe into the PTA.

Mother's Playground - Golden Gate Park

But the main thing was just time passing. On the final day of last term we all went on a picnic together, and you know what? It felt like the beginning of something beautiful. Alternatively, if you wish to purchase any other books, please visit the online Telegraph Bookshop or call We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website so that you can continue to access our quality content in the future. Visit our adblocking instructions page.

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New Playground - Mother's Beach

But the minute she speaks you will hear how talented and smart her kid is and you will immediately realize that your kid is lazy and stupid and will not be getting into the fabulous college that Competitor Mom's kid will be attending in 15 years. No matter how many words your child had mastered by age two, Competitor Mom's kid had mastered many more and also spoke a couple of languages fluently by age three.

Competitor Mom will not be impressed with the fact that your kid finally gave up her binky at age three. The Professor Mom -- Professor Mom is smart and educated and hell bent on explaining every single stinking scientific fact about the world to her kid. A skinned knee doesn't merely get a kiss and a lollipop because it is the perfect opportunity to expound upon the circulatory system's ability to clot and form a scab to stop the bleeding.

To the Professor Mom, a rainbow isn't something to marvel at or draw a picture of because it begs a dissertation on light refraction through water molecules. Professor Mom googles the fun out of everything.


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Totally Together Mom -- Totally Together Mom has a bunch of toddlers at the playground and she handles all of them with grace and ease while carrying on a vibrant conversation with the moms around her. She also has twin infants in a double baby stroller and a dog on a leash. She effortlessly spreads out snacks and drinks for the kids while propping up bottles for the babies as she puts clothing on and off all of her charges without losing her train of thought in the conversation.


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    • Totally Together Mom is relaxed, happy and competent and you just have to hate her because you are a sleep-deprived mother or grandmother of one kid who is at that very moment rolling in a puddle and screaming for orange cheese puffs with a finger up her nose. There is, however, a modicum of comfort in knowing that the non-scary moms and grandmoms far outnumber the five scary mom types.

    New Playground - Review of Mother's Beach, Kennebunk, ME - TripAdvisor

    So if we can just hang together at the playground, we'll be fine. Just look for me. I'll be the lady with the bright orange cheese puffs who is shrieking at a child to please dear god stop walking on top of the monkey bars with that popsicle stick in her mouth.